Guile

A loud honk from a horn was the result of a woman driving slowly in front of the Grangers' car. They were only two miles away from Privet Drive, where the Grangers' daughter Hermione had a friend to pick up for the summer.

Mrs. Granger had no real objections, provided that Hermione's friend wasn't a chauvinist pig, but Mr. Granger, being the caring father that he was, had displayed his parental concern when Hermione announced her friend was a boy. Hermione managed to remedy this by telling him that this boy, who happened to be none other than Harry Potter, had no other place to go.

The relatives he lived with, as Hermione had desperately explained, were a trio of ruddy knaves. Mr. Vernon Dursley, Mrs. Petunia Dursley, and Dudley Dursley. Mr. Dursley Hermione had described as being quite unpleasant; a large man who looked like he had no neck and grunted quite often. Mrs. Dursley, she had exclaimed, was a typical maniac housewife. And Dudley she described as an addlepated twit who was as ridiculous as an unintelligent donkey.

It took a while for Mr. and Mrs. Granger to figure out that Hermione had called Dudley a jackass in a way that could really only be described as, "The Hermione Way."

Eventually, they mellowed and agreed to let Harry stay the rest of the summer... under a few conditions. For example, Mr. Granger strongly advised Harry should sleep on the couch as the guest bedroom was across the hallway from Hermione's bedroom. He also noted that Harry's pet, a snowy white owl that Harry had named Hedwig, would have to go somewhere else since they had just gotten their house cleaned, and didn't need a rather messy owl fluttering about.

In the discussion of terms for Harry's lengthy visit, Mr. Granger had to ask, "What about your other friend, the redhead, Ron Weasley?"

Ron Weasley, the second youngest of his family, was going to visit his grandparents in Wales. He had sent his owl Pig, short for Pigwidgeon, to Harry and Hermione's houses after he heard the news. Ron's father, Arthur, had family who lived in Wales. There was Ron's grandfather, Wes, his grandmother, Hanna, and his army of great aunts: Haruko, Georgia, Frieda, Patricia, Bellouse, and Charlene. Ron dared not to ask why they were going to see his grandparents. Fact of the matter was, he was going.

So, long story short, there was no way Harry Potter could stay at Ron Weasley's house this summer, and in the end, it was decided that on July 9th, Hermione and her parents would be driving to Surrey and picking up Harry for the summer.

The Dursleys as usual objected to Harry leaving, until he brought up Sirius Black. Sirius Black was the Achilles' heel of Vernon Dursley. Sirius was a fugitive on the run from the Guards of Azkaban, and as Harry's godfather, Black cared deeply about his godson. So if Vernon Dursley acted like a stupid prat and wasn't going to let his godson do something, Sirius Black would certainly be the one to do something about it.

The woman in front of the Grangers must've been quite deaf, for she simply wouldn't speed up. Mr. Granger, a bit annoyed, honked the horn twice, and continued that way all the way to Privet Drive. The woman pulled into her driveway, straight across from the Dursleys' home. That woman was Old Mrs. Figg, Harry's neighbor of fourteen or so years, and she had an obsession with cats. He had once told Hermione and Ron about the boring summers he spent at her house.

Mr. Granger was willing to give the woman a piece of his mind, but Mrs. Granger advised him not to, and commented that Mr. Granger's brain was hard to give out in pieces. Her sarcastic remark was immediately met with an eye roll from her husband, and a short giggle from her daughter.

The family got out of their blue Mercedes, and Hermione skipped ahead of her parents to ring the doorbell of the Dursleys. With a soft buzzing noise, the doorbell had been rung, and Hermione stepped back a bit and waited for someone to answer.

Uncle Vernon answered the door, looking rather gruff. He then looked at the Grangers, who looked presentably nice, and then his eyes shifted towards the car. For the first time in a long time, and perhaps for the first and last time, Vernon Dursley was quite impressed by these folks his nephew knew. A Mercedes was rather expensive, and the Grangers were dressed not too formal, but not too casual.

He smiled and let them in. He eyed Petunia, standing inside the kitchen, whispered "money," and Petunia went into the kitchen to fetch drinks to serve. Had he whispered, "weird," Petunia would've grumpily come out the kitchen, insisting she was sick and that the Grangers needed to take Harry and go soon as possible.

So, the five sat down in the living room, Dudley upstairs playing Decent on his computer, and Harry in his room wondering where Hermione could be. Hermione politely asked where Harry was, and Vernon hesitated, then simply replied he was tidying his room and he'd be coming down shortly. After about five minutes of generic first meeting conversation, Hermione asked if she could go and see Harry in his room.

"Oh, er, no, that's quite alright," replied Vernon rather quickly.

Hermione then replied tactfully, "Oh... didn't know his room was that big... he always told me that his room was quite small."

"Come again?" Vernon asked. He apparently hadn't remembered that he told Hermione that Harry was cleaning his room up.

"You said he was cleaning his room... but there's not much of it to clean," the young girl replied in a somewhat snooty tone.

"Uhm, Mr. Dursley," began Mr. Granger. "It's nice to talk and all-" Mrs. Granger rolled her eyes at that, "-but we really need to be going. My wife left a, uhm-"

"Pie in the oven," Mrs. Granger said quickly. "Hermione and I were making home made apple pies from a recipe handed down to me from my grandmother..."

"And today's the... I guess you could say Anniversary of her death," Hermione added in quickly. "So we... just wanted to make one today."

Petunia clasped her hands to her face and said, "Oh! How horrible!"

Mr. Granger barely had time to register his utter astonishment at his wife and daughter's ability to lie before they continued on with the disillusion.

"Oh yes, and the apples she used always came straight out of her backyard," Mrs. Granger sighed. "She died in a house burning and my baby brother risked his life trying to salvage the last of her sweet apples-"

"So, ER, we just don't want it to burn!" Mr. Granger added on quickly.

"Precisely," Hermione tacked on with a tooth-baring smile.

Petunia looked absolutely sympathetic - she had bought their story. She nudged Vernon, who rose to get Harry, while Petunia ran into the kitchen and got a tissue. Hermione and her parents heard her blowing her nose from the living room, and Hermione couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

Harry came down after about two or three minutes, and Vernon collected his key to unlock the cupboard holding Harry's magic-related things. Mr. Granger offered to help Harry carry his trunk out to the car, while Mrs. Granger held open the trunk for him to put his things in. They managed to slide Harry's trunk into the car as they had done with Hermione's for the past four years. Then they piled into the car, and began to leave.

Vernon stood on his doorstop and waved good bye with a large toothy grin, and Petunia on his shoulder was sobbing and incoherent. Mr. Granger politely waved as they left, and when they were well on their way back to the Granger residence, Mrs. Granger said quite loudly, "Go faster, Richard! We don't want to let Grandma Granger's apple pie burn!" The car turned into a fit of hysterics and laughter, minus Harry who thought Hermione's parents were a bit out of whack.

After having elucidated the situation to Harry, however, he joined in their uproar. During the trip back to Hermione's house, Harry learned that Mr. Granger was a fan of the Muggle television series, Star Trek ("Live long and prosper," he said to Harry), and Mrs. Granger was quite interested in cooking and loved reading novels as well. As he sat there listening, he couldn't help but think that this Summer wouldn't be so bad after all.

~ ~ ~
"Harry," said Mrs. Granger, "come sit down and have some marmalade."

Mrs. Granger opened the jar as Harry waltzed into the Granger kitchen. The tablecloth on the oak table was a flowery print, and the kitchen was tiled in white squares. Hermione and Mr. Granger were already wide awake, and dressed in Hawaiian print clothing.

After having told the Grangers he had never been to a beach in the car last night, they immediately responded by planning a trip to Ventor, where Mr. and Mrs. Granger had been for their honeymoon. They stayed at a seaside inn overlooking the beach, and one night, Mr. Granger had treated his wife æto a candlelit dinner on the sandy beach. And ever since she could remember, Hermione had gone to Ventor plenty of times, and also swallowed saltwater enough times where it was almost an acquired taste.

"Oh, thanks," he said politely to Mrs. Granger. His plate was now filled with a small pile of homemade marmalade, toast, scrambled eggs drenched in ketchup, and two biscuits covered in grape jelly. It was all quite more palatable than the Dursleys' idea of breakfast which, for him, was usually table scraps.

"Are the Dursleys always..." began Hermione, "so weird?"

Harry chuckled. "Yea, they like people who look really nice and expensive, and drive fancy cars... so it's no wonder they were friendly with you three."

Once more, the Grangers laughed, and Harry remained confused.

"Our friends let us borrow the car while they were in Germany for the month," said Mr. Granger. He took a sip of coffee, and chuckled a bit. "Linda's and my car is in the repair shop ever since Crookshanks poked a tire and we were rammed by a semi truck."

Harry's face once more screwed up with laughter. For the person who Hermione was, she certainly came from an interesting family. He noticed Crookshanks purred when he heard his name, then rested his head back down on his tail to sleep.

The trip to the beach was something else. Mrs. Granger had packed a plethora of sandwiches in a picnic basket, and Hermione was bringing along her Arithmancy book. But the Arithmancy book, titled Numerology and Grammatica, soon lay forgotten as the four engaged in a game of ABC's, using foods.

"Apple," said Hermione, who went first.

"Apple, Banana," followed up Harry.

"Apple, Banana, Carrot," said Mr. Granger.

"Apple, Banana, Carrot... Demerara Sugar!" said Mrs. Granger uncertainly.

"Apple, Banana, Carrot, Demerara Sugar, Eggplant!"

"Apple, Banana, Carrot, Demerara Sugar, Eggplant.... Fish?"

"Apple, Banana, Carrot, Demerara Sugar, Eggplant, Fish, Grapes!"

"Apple, Banana, Carrot, Demerara Sugar, Eggplant, Fish, Grapes... and..." Mrs. Granger paused. "What's a food that begins with an H?"

The other three stared at one another.

"... Humbugs?"

"But those're actually called Peppermint Humbugs, Richard," said Mrs. Granger. "That's a P word!"

"But it's still an H word! Humbug!" whined Mr. Granger. "Just use it and go on! I want my turn too!"

"Oh, Richard, honestly," began Mrs. Granger.

About thirty minutes later, after Apple, Banana, Carrot, Demerara Sugar, Eggplant, Fish, Grapes, and Humbugs, they had continued on and were now stuck at the letter X. They could not think of one food that started with X, or even a brand of food, or even a type of food wrapping. When all hope looked lost, when a light bulb went off inside Hermione's head.

"Xylophone Cake!" blurted out Hermione. "Remember when I wanted to make a cake that looked like a xylophone, mum?"

Thanks to Hermione's five-year-old birthday cake, the game ended with Yorkshire Pudding and Zucchini, and Harry learning about Hermione's previous uncanny obsession with playing musical instruments.

"It was all very fascinating!" said Hermione when she spotted the grin slowly evolving into a laugh appearing on Harry's face. "You'd hit something, it'd make noise!"

"Never knew you would ever describe something that simple," Harry mocked. "'You hit something, it makes noise,' no technical whatnot?"

Hermione smirked and gave him a little punch in the shoulder, and he laughed a bit. She looked furious and began clawing at him. Little did they notice Mr. Granger looking demonically at Harry through the overhead mirror. Mrs. Granger gave him a "don't even think about it" kind of stare, and he quickly diverted his mind to the road.

The beach was fairly breezy, but the sun still shined and it was warm enough to take a dip in the water. Hermione took off her shorts and over top, and had a simple solid blue colored one-piece. The shoulder straps were white, but other than that, it was all blue. It kind of reminded Harry of Hermione's dress robes.

Mr. Granger motioned for Harry as Mrs. Granger carried a blanket out to a nice spot on the beach. Harry followed him to a little area far out of the girls' hearing.

"Now Harry, I know you and Hermione are good friends..." began Mr. Granger.

Harry felt his body quiver: he knew exactly where this conversation was going.

"... but you see..." Mr. Granger continued lightly, "she's my... precious little girl... and well... I know she's in a bathing suit right now and..."

"I understand, sir," Harry said quickly.

"Oh, right, well... thanks," said Mr. Granger. He looked a bit dumbstruck, and persuaded Harry to go join the girls. "I need to get the sunscreen out of the car..."

Harry nodded, and went down the join Hermione in the ocean. He splashed water at Hermione and her mother as they were barely in the water, but they got the last laugh when Harry ended up falling down in midst of a small tide. He retrieved his glasses before they got pulled into the sea, and threw them at the blanket laid out on the beach.

An attempt to make a sandcastle was made around three PM, using only sand and water. Mr. Granger offered to buy them a child's set of sand toys, but they declined his offer and tried to make it on their own. Instead of going into town at three, Mr. Granger ended up going around twelve past the hour when Harry and Hermione finally realized how hard it was to make a sandcastle.

Around four, Mrs. Granger suggested they go eat somewhere before heading home, but the two parents found themselves unable to drag their daughter and guest away from trying to create a Gryffindor Tower reenactment. So, Mr. Granger went to town alone once more to get the family some nourishment.

He returned laden with cheeseburgers, milkshakes, french fries, and an unholy amount of candy bars. Harry found this quite surprising as Mr. Granger was a dentist, but as Mr. Granger explained, "Oh, heck, we all brush." Harry found this answer and the food to be quite palatable, and it took him only about three minutes before he had wolfed it all down.

Hermione snorted as Harry kept sucking the straw in his shake though it was all gone, since it made a pesky rattling noise. Finally, Mr. Granger passed Harry a spoon, and Harry scooped the rest of it out and into his mouth, and looked quite satisfied. And it was a very satisfying day if he didn't include Mr. Granger's "talk."

~ ~ ~
The summer didn't drag on like all of Harry's had before, and what bad riddance it was. Like he had enjoyed Ron's house the past few years, Harry thoroughly enjoyed staying at Hermione's as well. While each day brought joy and happiness, July 31st, Harry's birthday, would be the best out of his one and a half months with the Grangers.

Hedwig, Pigwidgeon, and a tawny owl Harry and Hermione decided was Hagrid's arrived early in the morning. Hedwig, who'd been staying with the Weasley's, had brought Harry's gift, and Pigwidgeon brought a small letter from Ron. Hermione had used the IOD (International Owl Delivery) service to collect his gift. She showed the IOD magazine to Harry, and gave him his own copy in case he needed one.

The Weasley's presents included Fred and George's latest Weasley Wizard Wheezey (which Harry didn't want to touch out of utter fear of what would happen), treacle fudge made by Mrs. Weasley, and Ron had sent him an blue glowing figurine. The letter, which he easily identified as Ron's handwriting, said:

"Dear Harry,

Heard you're at Hermione's house! Hope she isn't boring you with lectures or anything ("That's not very nice!" snapped Hermione) ... well, I'll come and scrap you off the ground with mum's kitchen utensils if it happens. Any who, Grandma Weasley gave me the blue crystal. She said it has good luck... something I think you'll really need ("He could say that again," Harry said out loud).

We're back at the Burrow now, and mum suggested that us three do our usual school supplies shopping. August 10th in front of Gringotts sound good? Owl back!

Ron

PS - Ginny wanted me to tell you that Hedwig was very good at Grandma Weasley's house!"

Harry opened up Hagrid's present next while waiting for Hermione's IOD owl to come. Inside, he found the Marauder's Map. A note was attached to it that said Dumbledore asked Hagrid to send it with his parcel. Harry smirked and pocketed his beloved map. Also inside Hagrid's present, he found his Hogwarts letter with his new supplies list, a note from Hagrid, a gift certificate to the Three Broomsticks (redeemable for five free Butterbeers), and a "Honeydukes Sampler" package with some of the store's best sweets.

He and Hermione avoided eating the Fizzing Whizbees, and sat on the porch awaiting Hermione's present. Crookshanks, Hedwig, Pigwidgeon, and Hagrid's tawny owl were also on the porch. Crookshanks was snapping at Pigwidgeon as he flew around, while Hedwig turned her head in arrogance.

Harry remembered Hagrid's present had a note in it, and read it quickly. Harry frowned, and showed it to Hermione. Hagrid wouldn't be the Gameskeeper or Care for Magical Creatures this year, as he had some job to do. Harry had a feeling it had to do with the giants and Madame Maxine.

Finally, the IOD owl arrived, Hermione nearly leapt to get it, and then patted the owl and removed the parcel from it. She immediately presented it to him.

"I hope you like it all!" said Hermione, her voice filled with happiness.

Harry sat down on the porch steps, and ripped off the brown wrapping paper. He saw letters that changed from gold to bronze that said, "Wizarding Gift Package." Inside, he removed a model of the Snitch. It was golden, and flew around, and... it was made of chocolate. The next two things were Wizard Music Boxes.

Hermione noted that they had Weird Sisters music on them. The Wizard Music Boxes were like Muggle tapes, only they were enchanted to sing songs. A black one played the slow mournful tune Harry had heard last year at the Yule Ball, and the other played a fast upbeat tune Harry had never heard before.

He set those next to his chocolate Snitch which had stopped flying around, and pulled out the next item, which was a Unicorn Horn. He had seen them plenty of times at the Apothecary, and had used them many times for Potions, but the one in the package was a more rare type of horn. It glittered slivery when Harry held it up to the dim sunlight. The last few items in the package included a few Chocolate Frogs, a box of Bertie Bott's Jelly Beans, five Sugar Quills, a large Peacock Quill, and metallic gold ink.

"Thank you, Hermione!" came his joyous thank you.

Hermione smiled back, and said, "That's not all."

"Huh?" asked Harry, dumbstruck.

"Oh, well, you know... I told mum you had... never exactly had a real birthday... so we..."

"I made you a cake, is what she means to say." Harry and Hermione turned their heads towards the front door, where Mrs. Granger was standing with a cake. She put it on the porch table, and Mr. Granger followed out with four plates, four forks, candles, and a match box.

Harry's glasses were illuminated with the candles reflections, and he looked up thoughtfully, as if he were going to cry. Finally, he took a deep breath, and blew out his candles.

~ ~ ~

Scruffy black bangs fell over a young boys face. He rose in somnolence, and yawned. He rubbed his eyes a bit, then looked down at himself. He was real, his body was physical. Silently, he dressed in a set of black robes, and thought of all the fun he'd be having this year.

He put on his boots, and stopped to stare at his reflection. Admittedly, he was somewhat of a narcissist, but he was certainly smarter than to fall into a lake and drown himself from gazing at his looks.

"The world is a very guile place," he told his handsome reflection. "There are the gullible ones who get deceived, and the ones who deceive the gullible."

He was a deceiver.

~ ~ ~