Seven

Seven

By: Solstice

Chapter 4 ~ Power and Pain

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Harry wasn't looking forward to Occlumency lessons but he had to attend them. He did want to stop his dreams from happening and he could feel Voldemort starting to get impatient. He slightly wondered if his impatience had to do with the war that was going on over in Germany or if it was something else.

Harry, Ron and Hermione walked down to Professor Macnair's classroom on the third floor and into the door that previously housed Fluffy; they walked down the steps and reached the classroom.

Harry looked around and sighed. "Where's Professor Mac--" He didn't even finish his sentence, before the door next to the chalkboard opened and she stepped out.

"Good afternoon! Can I help you?" she asked.

Hermione sighed. "We're here for Occlumency lessons... it said in your letter."

Professor Macnair smiled. "Of course... okay then, vhy don't ve get started now. Just go through this door, I think that it vould be more comfortable vith more room to practice. I must gather some things, before ve start," she explained, as she went over to her desk and opened a few drawers.

Harry followed Hermione and Ron into the room and shut the door behind him, and turned around to see Snape sitting at a large table with heavy Potions books all around him.

The room was no longer like a Muggle school gym as it was earlier in class. It was more like an office with shelves of Defence Against the Dark Arts books resting on the shelves on the walls.

Snape looked up at them and set down his book before standing and walking over to them. "Potter, Weasley, Granger--" he started but was interrupted.

Harry felt the door open behind him. "...flat and then it switches to an octave high..." he heard some one say from behind him.

Pansy Parkinson and Scarlet Moon walked in shortly followed by Carmen Rose.

"What do you three want?" Snape asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Professor Macnair told us that we could borrow her book on magical instruments and she told us to come get it at this time," Scarlet Moon explained politely.

Snape smirked. "Victoria is out at the moment. You can wait outside the room until she returns."

The three nodded and left the room.

Snape turned to the trio. "Professor Macnair and I going to be teaching you three Occlumency. This tutoring is outside normal schooling hours, but you still shall address me as 'Sir' or 'Professor'. Understand?"

The trio nodded.

Snape smirked as he walked over to a cupboard and opened it before taking out the Pensive and his wand. Harry, Ron and Hermione watched him put his wand to his temple and deposited the silvery liquid into the stone basin. He repeated this four times after that.

Behind them Professor Macnair entered the room out of breath carrying three large tombs. "Sorry it took so long, I forgot that Blaise borrowed von of my books." She set them down at a nearby table and walked over to the shelf, pulling down a huge book called Enchanted Sounds: How To Put Charm into Music.

She walked out of the room and came back in. "Okay, now ve can get started. Ve have a major amount of vork to do today so let's start. Relax. That is the first thing to do. Relax and try not the think of anything, close your eyes and sweep all the thoughts from you head."

Harry closed his eyes and tried not to think of anything other than clearing his mind. He sighed and relaxed. "Open your eyes," he heard Macnair say to them. "Are you're minds clear and relaxed?" she asked taking out her wand.

Harry nodded along with Ron and Hermione. "Excellent, now take out your vands, you may vant to repel us and you can by any matter of defending yourself." The trio complied. "Now, ve can't vork vith all three of you at the same time so von of you is going to have to sit out."

"I will," Hermione said and sat down on a chair at a nearby table.

"Severus, I think that I vill vork vith Mr. Potter. You can vork vith Mr. Veasley," Macnair said to Snape (who was now standing right next to her) and turned to Harry after Snape nodded and led Ron a few meters away from them.

Harry raised his wand. "I know you have done this before, but do you have any questions?" Victoria Macnair asked.

Harry shook his head. Victoria nodded and raised her wand, muttering, "Legilimens." Harry's vision turned black and he saw Dudley driving away in his brand new truck. . . . A blinding flash of green light and a cruel laugh; in the distance he heard a baby crying. . . . Sirius' face as he fell through the veil. . . .

"NOOO!!" He found himself on the floor scrunched up into a ball.

"Are you okay?" Macnair asked, helping him stand up. Harry sighed and nodded weakly.

Macnair grinned. "You did pretty vell, but not vell enough. Focus on not thinking of anything and trying to lock up your mind. Remember you can repel it."

Harry nodded and raised his wand. Macnair raised her wand and muttered, "Legilimens."

He heard Malfoy's voice speaking in the distance "I'm going to make you pay for what you've done to my father. . .". . . . Zabini's voice. "You really need to control your anger, Potter. . . ." . . . . Bellatrix's high pitch laughter. "The little baby woke up fwightened and fort what it dweamed was twoo". . . . Harry's muscles tensed up and he yelled "Protego!"

He heard horrible blood curdling screaming from above him all he could see was black. . . .

His vision was back and he looked ahead seeing Victoria Macnair, closed eyed and breathing deeply. "Excellent Potter, that vas excellent--" she blew out a long slow breath and opened her eyes. "Okay, let's try that again." She raised her wand and Harry copied her. "Legilimens."

He was chasing Bellatrix to and he heard his own voice yell. "Crucio!". . . . He heard his own voice speak again. "SHE KILLED SIRUS! I'LL KILL HER!". . . . Harry felt rage run through his veins . . . . Sirius falling through the veil. . . . Harry's muscles tensed up and he screamed a spell. He didn't know what spell he screamed but when he opened his eyes he saw Victoria Macnair writhing on the floor in tears and whimpering.

Harry stood wide eyed and muttered "Finite." Professor Macnair stopped for a few seconds catching her breath and stared up at him with wide eyes. She sat up shakily and closed her eyes looking in a lot of pain.

"Vhere did you learn that curse?" she asked in small, painful, and horrified whisper.

"I don't know what I used..."

Professor Macnair stood up and opened her eyes. "The curse that you used vas the Cruciatus, Potter. Vhere did you learn it?" she asked in a demanding whisper.

Harry was now aware that everyone in the room was staring at him. "I didn't learn it from anyone... I didn't even know that that was the curse I used. I...I am so sorry. I didn't mean to use it."

Victoria Macnair sighed weakly and nodded. "It's okay... I... just am a little surprised that you used that curse... and so vell at your age..." She put her head in her hands and sighed again.

Snape was staring opened mouthed at them and Hermione and Ron were in shock. Snape rushed forward to Macnair (who still was rubbing her head). "You need to sit, it will help," he said snatching a chair from his desk and seating her in it. He turned to Harry with a grim look on his face.

"Using the Cruciatus curse on a human is a serious matter, Potter. People have faced years in Azkaban for doing so."

"I am sorry! I didn't mean it! I wasn't thinking clearly! I swear!" Harry said his eyes starting to tear. He didn't want to torture her at all! He didn't even know what curse or spell he was using.... he didn't even know that he could do the Cruciatus curse.... he didn't want to hurt anyone.

Victoria Macnair stood up. "I think you're being a bit hard on the boy Severus. I've seen vorse and it vas very obvious to me that he has quite a grudge against Bellatrix Lestrange. He vas releasing his anger. Though, the vay of releasing the anger vasn't very healthy. Only a person whose anger is built up over time and held in could produce such a curse vithout training and enjoyment of the pain that they are creating," she paused. "You should know how the Cruciatus curse vorks Severus, you vere a Death Eater once."

Hermione shook her head and came out of the shock before storming up to them and Harry all of a sudden felt something very hard hit him on the side of his face and his vision blurred in and out a bit while a blinding pain built up in his cheek. He held his hand to it, looking back at Hermione with wide eyes.

"Harry! You used the Cruciatus curse! How dare you stand there and just say you're sorry you--you-- bloody arsehole!" Hermione cursed.

Ron's eyes widened as he walked up to Hermione and patted her on the back. "Calm down, Hermione. Harry didn't mean the curse and I believe him. You don't have much control of your mind when your mind is being picked at by someone!"

"That's still no excuse Ron!" Hermione yelled.

Macnair stepped between them. "Miss. Granger, calm yourself. Yes, it is certainly a serious matter vhen using the Cruciatus curse, but this is completely different. He vasn't in his right mind and vhen I took this job I was prepared to go through vhatever is thrown at me. I don't blame Mr. Potter for anything that he did because he vas enraged and not in his right mind. Not many people can master thinking clearly once another person has entered their mind," she cracked her neck and yawned.

Hermione took a few enraged breaths and looked at Harry. She sighed before turning back to Professor Macnair. "Are you okay Professor?" she asked.

Macnair nodded and cracked her neck again. "Don't vorry Miss. Granger, I'm fine but I would like to talk to Mr. Potter outside." She turned to Professor Snape. "Severus, could you work with Miss. Granger while I talk to Mr. Potter?"

"I will," Snape said throwing a side-glance at Hermione.

Harry (who now had a bruise starting to appear on his cheek) looked at Professor Macnair still wide eyed. She led him out of the room and sat down at a desk in the classroom. She looked up at him and patted the seat next to her.

Harry walked forward slowly and sat down looking at his wand in his hand. He quickly flung it across the room and sighed madly.

It hurt Professor Macnair. He looked back at his hands and glared. I hurt Professor Macnair; I caused her pain. I didn't mean to--that doesn't make up for the fact that I did the Cruciatus curse! He pounded his fist on the desk in front of him and looked up at Macnair, who was retrieving his wand with a simple Summoning spell.

She set it down in front of him. "You might vant to keep that."

Harry glared at it and sunk down into the chair with a mad sigh. "No I don't, I don't want it--it makes me sick!"

Professor Macnair felt his forehead. "Funny, you don't feel sick."

Harry looked at her. "So--you wanted to talk Professor?"

Macnair rolled her eyes. "Oh, please do not call me Professor it's after school hours, please call me Victoria. Professor sounds like I'm an old hard arsed teacher like Severus." Harry gave a weak grin. "Just don't tell him I said that," she said smiling, he could tell that she was trying to make him feel better.

He gave another weak smile and looked back down at his hands with a sigh; the joke didn't help his mood much, he still felt like one of the lowest people in the galaxy.

Profe... Victoria looked at him. "Don't vorry about me, okay?" she asked making him look up at her with her hand on his chin and handing him his wand.

Harry stared at her. He had never been more sorry in his life.... he felt so guilty and unpunished. Victoria gave him a look and crossed her arms. "You need to stop it! Don't vallow in pity just because you of vhat you did. You didn't do it intentionally and you don't need to feel bad about it. I'm fine and dandy! Don't feel bad!" she sighed.

"Now if you vould have done it intentionally things vould be different, but clearly it vasn't intentional, so stop before I have to do a Cheering charm on you, and believe me you do not vant a Cheering charm done on you by me. I have the tendency to mess it all up and you'll have fits of insane happiness. Forgive yourself; you don't have to feel bad."

Harry sighed. "I don't know if I can forgive myself! I don't want to cause pain like Voldemort! I don't want to be like him! I hate him!" He pounded his fists on the desk.

Victoria caught his fists in mid air and squeezed tightly. "Listen," she said in a low mean growl. Harry felt pain in his hands under her grip. She must have inherited strong grip from her father. He thought remembering how Walden Macnair almost choked him to death last year. "I despise the Dark Lord also, but there's no reason to hurt yourself over it," Victoria said letting go of his hands slowly.

Harry let out a long sigh. "I guess you're right, sorry." He let out another sigh.

Victoria grinned. "Oh come on, no need to apologize. Ve all have our little tantrums." He looked at her. She smiled. "You know, you have quite a temper. Do you have any German ancestors?"

Harry shrugged. "No clue. Why?"

"Vhy?" she asked again. "You have a German temper. I recognize it because I vent to Durmstrang vith a few people from Germany. Nice lot, but you don't vant to get on their bad side vhen they're mad."

Harry grinned a bit.

Macnair continued, "Don't beat yourself up over the curse. It's in the past and as Shakespeare once said 'Vhat's past is Prologue'. You never know maybe it vill be a beginning of a new story."

She yawned and stood up. "Merlin, it's been a long day. Those first years really vear you down." She yawned again as Harry got up. He looked at his wand on the table then stuffed it in his pocket.

He followed Victoria into the room. Hermione was disarming Snape when they walked in. Ron clapped and Snape glared at him. "Vonderful, Miss. Granger!" Victoria said smiling. She walked over to the table and picked up the books that she brought in.

"I think that you three should get a start on reading up on Occlumency and Legilimency to understand it more." She handed them the books. "Just the first chapter in each; that should be a start to it. We'll owl you with the date of your next lesson."

Harry sighed. Maybe this will be the beginning of a new story...

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"Ron! Wake up!"

God, this is becoming a morning routine! Harry sighed and walked into the bathroom to re-fill the pitcher of water. He needs to stop taking the job to patrol the west wing at midnight with Pansy Parkinson! I don't even know how he can stand being in the same room with her for more then two minutes...

He walked back into the room and poured the pitcher of water on the top of Ron's head, hoping to God that he would wake up.

Ron gasped for air and bolted straight up in bed. "What di' ya' do tha' for, 'arry?" he croaked sleepily.

"You need to wake up! Potions starts in half an hour and we're going to miss breakfast if you don't get your sorry arse up!" He sucked in an angry breath. "Hermione couldn't even wake you up!"

Ron yawned. "Okay, 'kay. I'm up. Jus' le' me get dressed."

Harry set the pitcher back onto the nightstand and kneeled in front of his truck to get out his Potions supplies. He hoped that they didn't have to brew a potion that used Bilomealgrass because he was really low on it. Thank God there's a Hogsmead trip this weekend.

They where lucky that Hermione saved them some toast from breakfast because by the time they got to the Great Hall, they needed to run to the dungeons for Potions.

If it only wasn't for Peeves and his slime balls all over the short cut passage they would have made it to the classroom safely but they had to take the long way around.

Fun!

"Potty, Weasel, and the Mudblood," the drawl paused. "You do know that you are treading in Slytherin territory and everyone knows that no Gryffindor is safe in 'said' territory."

The trio turned around to come face to face with Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, and Blaise Zabini. Draco spoke again. "Not even Dumbledore's Golden Boy, Potter."

Harry's right hand went straight for his wand but he waited for Malfoy to attack first. Hermione put her hands on her hips. "Everyone at Hogwarts has a right to tread wherever they want as long it's in the rules that they can tread there, Malfoy," she said glaring.

Harry saw Theodore Nott reach for his wand. Malfoy's face looked even angrier, but Zabini spoke, "What you say is very true. Tis a free country and tis a free school; we are in no authority to tell you where not to tread." She smirked and threw a side-glance at Malfoy. "Though, I think that some people should work on their provocations. That one was a tad immature."

Malfoy's face twisted up in anger and he turned to Blaise. "There you go again! Siding with Gryffindors!" He blew out an angry breath. "Pick a side or walk! I'm not going to stand this anymore!"

Blaise raised her eyebrow at him. "Dark times Draco, tis a time to make friends with normal everyday enemies than to create worse problems with the 'said' enemies," she said in a calm voice. "I actually think that all the degrading stuff you say about them is completely wrong. You are a self-absorbed prick with nothing better to do than make everyone around you look like shit to make yourself look better. In truth, Draco, it makes you look like an arsehole."

Harry swore that he saw Theodore Nott stifle a laugh. Draco glared. "What would you know Blaise? Nothing. You ugly little bint, you're a poor excuse for a pureblood witch and don't even deserve all that you have. I think your ancestors are embarrassed with themselves about now because you carry on their family name and you are not worthy of it," he paused with a harsh laugh. "Now run off to the mud hole where the Mudbloods lie and join them since you are so keen on siding with those types."

Harry could hear Blaise's teeth grit. "That's the best advice you have ever given me. I think I will, it's better than hanging out with a slimy, rat-faced git like yourself!" She glared at Draco then turned to Theodore with a forced grin. "Theo," she stated clearly, "see you in Potions; I don't want to be late y'know," she said, staking off down the hall toward the Potions classroom.

Harry stared wide-eyed at Malfoy, who looked just as surprised. He growled. "I swear that she's going to lead me into an early grave! Come on Theo--Potions," Malfoy ordered and stalked off on the same path that Blaise was previously walking.

Theodore burst out laughing as soon as Draco turned the corner. "God..." He gasped for air in between laughs. "That was hilarious!" He chuckled and walked past them to the Potions classroom.

Harry looked at Ron and Hermione. "I'm confused," Ron said, his eyebrows furrowing. "Did Zabini say that she was siding with us?"

Harry shrugged. "I have no clue; I think so..."

Hermione swallowed a lump in her throat audibly. "That was rather low of Malfoy to say that. I mean she isn't a poor excuse for a pureblood. Malfoy is," she said as they walked toward Potions.

"Potter, Weasley, Granger," Snape barked. "Twenty points from Gryffindor! You're late!"

The trio mentally groaned and took their usual seats next to Dean and Adda.

"Today we will be making Pesticserem. It's one of the many potions used to repel bugs and pests," Snape drawled. Harry swore that he glanced at him while he saying it. "It is quite simple to make, though I will put you into pairs so nothing will go awry. The potion is highly dangerous if brewed incorrectly and has dire side effects to the brewer if the Bilomealgrass is boiled wrong."

Harry put his head in his hands. Why did God have to be so cruel? They just had to use Bilomealgrass today! He'd have to borrow some from Hermione.

Snape sat at his desk and pulled out a sheet of paper. "The pairs will be as follows. Potter and Handell, Weasley and Parkinson, Granger and Nott, Malfoy and Jenkins, Thomas and Crockford, Zabini and... Goyle is in the hospital wing so you'll have to join Potter and Handell," Snape paused and pointed his wand toward the board. "The ingredients are on the board; you have an hour."

Never had he had a Potions class as peaceful as this one. Zabini had enough Bilomealgrass and Nevaeh brewed them, while Blaise cut up the nightshade and he grated the bezoar.

When class was done, they handed in their potion; they barely exchanged a word between each other the whole hour. Harry suspected that Blaise was hiding from Nevaeh but he couldn't read people that well so he shrugged the thought out of his mind.

He, Ron, and Hermione stormed out of Potions class as soon as it was dismissed. "Malfoy is officially the worse person I have ever came to know in my existence on this earth!" Ron complained.

Hermione shrugged. "What about Voldemort?"

Ron flinched. "I don't know him as much as I know Malfoy, but I do have to say that You-Know-Who would have to be number one--closely followed by Malfoy." '

Harry sighed and walked ahead of them. Their bickering was never ceasing, year after year--you would think that they would stop, but no they just kept on bickering and he was getting sick of it. Well, at least that he had the rest of the afternoon off and Hogsmead to look forward to tomorrow.

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"Let's go to The Three Broomsticks first for butterbeer!" Hermione exclaimed excitedly. "I'm dying to have one."

Harry and Ron (he and Hermione made up the night before--after much debate on pitiful little things) nodded and followed her down the street.

Hogsmeade was beautiful in October, it was the time of the year where the leaves just started to turn colours and the sight was breathtaking. All of the students filled the roads and bustled into the stores to make their purchases. It was such a beautiful day; even the locals were braving the crowds for a walk.

The trio ambled into The Tree Broomsticks and took a seat in a booth next to the window. Surprisingly, the pub wasn't too crowded. Hermione went to get the butterbeer for them all and returned shortly.

Harry looked around the pub at the chatting couples and groups of friends; even Malfoy seemed to be smiling as he talked to Scarlet Moon and Goyle.

He spotted Zabini sitting alone, sipping her drink (he couldn't tell if it was butterbeer or not) and looking out the window.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she slowly turned toward him, locking eyes for a few seconds. He felt her eyes reading into him before he turned away and joined the conversation with Ron and Hermione.

It wasn't long before he let his gaze wander toward Zabini again. She brought the glass up to her lips and sipped the contents, still gazing lazily out the window. Her expression was very unreadable as she set the glass down on the table.

He smiled at the sight. She really did change over the summer; he could remember her short boyish hair and her round face, she was also very short the year prior. But now...

Well, she wasn't the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts, though. She had thin, chapped lips and her nose was a bit crooked but she was pretty; he had to admit that.

"Harry! Heelllooo!" Ron waved a hand in front of his face.

Harry snapped out of his reverie and looked at him. "What?"

Ron gave him a suspicious look and turned to look in the direction of where he was looking. A cat like grin crossed the red head's face as he slowly turned to look at him. "Were you staring at Zabini?" His eyes narrowed.

He felt heat rise into his cheeks and he glanced down at the table. "Erm--"

Ron let out a low chuckle. "Don't tell me you fancy her? She looks like a vampire."

Hermione gave Ron a look. "Vampires have even paler skin than Zabini, Ron."

"How would you know?"

Harry sighed as the two bickered on... again. This time it was vampires; at least they didn't fight about the same thing every time. Ron accused Snape and pale members of Slytherin.

"If not Snape... Scarlet Moon then... Carmen Ro--wait she's Ravenclaw damn! Though, Moon is definitely a Vampire! She's as white as snow and her last name says it and she's really pale!"

"Yes, but she isn't a Vampire! Her teeth are dead straight and her reflection shows when she walks by a mirror! Can you explain that?"

Harry drained the rest of the tankard and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his cloak. Hermione sighed angrily as Ron accused Snape the second time in their argument. "You know what, Ron?" she asked madly. "I would know a Vampire when I see one because I actually listen in Defence Against the Dark Arts! You're thicker than Hagrid's rock cake batter!" She stood up and walked out of the pub in a huff.

Ron rolled his eyes and let out a long breath. "Hagrid's rock cake batter!" He let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm not that stupid!" He drained his butterbeer. "I'm going to the Hogs Head, do you want to join me?"

Harry shook his head.

"Okay then, see you later." Ron got up and went out the backdoor of the pub to avoid Hermione.

The rest of the day Harry bought all of the Potions supplies that would last until the next Hogsmeade trip and enough candy to give at least fourteen stomach-aches. He didn't see Hermione or Ron for the rest of the day, but he did get to spend some annoying (I don't think you could call it quality) time with the Colin Creevey. In that time span he definitely learned that he liked Dennis better than Colin.

He was just walking back to Hogwarts when he heard a giggle and his name being called.

"Oi! Potter!" He recognised the voice as Blaise Zabini's.

Harry sighed and turned around. Zabini and Pansy were sauntering up the path with what looked like....

"Ron?"

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