The Upbringing of Harry Black

Take canon, feed it to a cow, then serve it up at McDonalds, and you have The Upbringing of Harry Black. What have happened if Hagrid had given Harry up to Sirius the night Voldemort killed the Potters? Sirius would flee to America and own a coffee shop in Manhattan, Harry would attend the Cunningham Institute for young Witches and Wizards and wear (gasp!) Gap clothing, and Remus would be the writer of bodice-ripper werewolf stories. But some things are still the same. Voldemort is still out there, gaining strength and waiting to find the baby that everyone thinks is dead.

Take canon, feed it to a cow, then serve it up at McDonalds, and you have The Upbringing of Harry Black. What would have happened if Hagrid had given Harry up to Sirius the night Voldemort killed the Potters? Sirius would flee to America and own a coffee shop in Manhattan, Harry would attend the Cunningham Institute for young Witches and Wizards and wear (gasp!) Gap clothing, and Remus would be the writer of bodice-ripper werewolf stories. But some things are still the same. Voldemort is still out there, gaining strength and waiting to find the baby that everyone thinks is dead.

In chapter three, Harry gets to confront unpleasant blonde coffe-snatchers, Remus finds unwanted visitors in his hotel room, and Sirius gets a cheerful surprise in an alley.