Polyjuice Mayhem

Ron had been having mood swings all summer at the burrow. He would think about Hermione and being with her, walking with her hand in hand, being close to her, smelling her and his heart would soar. He would think of long private conversations, close snogging, and intimate gentle moments. He felt as if he was all-powerful and could do anything.

Then the image of Draco Malfoy would appear. He would grow angry at Draco being with his girl and then he would realize she was not his girl. He had probably driven her to Draco through his insensitivity. Then his heart would sink and he felt as if there was no hope. Draco and Hermione walking hand in hand, Draco and Hermione holding secret talks in hidden corners of the castle. Draco and Hermione snogging behind the bookshelves in the library. Draco and Hermione snogging behind the plants in the green house. Why couldn’t it be him, snogging Hermione, and not Draco? He would mope around the burrow depressed, not eating, and had taken to sitting in the garden alone, unobserved, in a remote corner. Even the gnomes would walk by him quietly as if not to disturb his depression.

Even Fred and George, the eternal Weasley jokesters, were concerned. “Our little bro is sick, sick with the pain of unrequited love,” commented George.

“So true. We have intimidated, brow beaten, and harassed him until he is the man he is today. It is amazing he has survived, but we still love him. He has a problem and as brothers’ it is our sworn duty to help.”

“Yes,” laughed Fred, “what do you have in mind? You are the more twisted of us.”

“I would suggest a polyjuice formulation for the relief of his romantic anguish. Perhaps the assumption of an alternate physical persona would entice the wayward and stubborn female, one Hermione Granger, to be induced to conduct extended snogging rituals with the affected and offended bro.”

“Here, here, or an extended example of repellent behavior could demonstrate the futility of continued romance with a despicably behaved persona as well.”

“We are bad!” the twins whispered as they high-fived each other.

“We must contact our investor, the soul of our adventure into the financial world. His approval will impart credibility to the modus operand of our reprehensible manipulation of our dear brother’s emotional life,” spoke George.

“It is for his own good. With out this girl, he would fade as a flower uprooted and installed in a teapot, hunger for the nourishment of the ground it once knew. Actually, he is being quite the git about it, as other women would show up in time,” replied Fred.

“Ah, but remember our first loves. One could embrace the both of us and crush our spines. The other sells dog food to dogs as if the dogs care what they eat. The feeling of a soft touch on our brow, the smooth warm feeling of an intimate embrace, the care over our feelings, the gentle repair of our delicate egos.”

     “The smashing of large eatable melons into my starving chest, the approving grip of a large firm pair of buttocks grinding away to ecstasy, the wanton look of lust portrayed on her face.”

“Mine having an unimaginable odor problem and yours hacking constantly as if wishing to expel a hairball.”

“Well, I must profess that I was the cause of the odor problem with your fair love.”

“And I the cause of the hacking of your fair love.”

They both laughed.

“Let us not dwell on the mundane. They were our first loves despite their personal and personality shortcomings,” replied Fred.

“Yes, let us just dwell on the best and try really, really hard to forget the rest. The onus of our problem is to have Ron experience the follies of love.”

“Polyjuice potion would allow Ron to assume the object of Hermione’s affection. He could confound her sensibilities with his wit, passion, and charm, then leave her to wonder if it was dream or nightmare.”

“Yes, then later tickle her illusions of love with tidbits of forgotten intimacy with a forbidden lover, forever confounding her with conflicting passions.”

“Get her all hyped up as a sensitive Malfoy then dump her to be alone with the real drizzling snot, so she will come crawling to Ron for romantic relief who temps her with forbidden knowledge.”

“Crudely put, but accurate.”

“Ah! Polyjuice potion, it is expensive and difficult to brew. We could never afford the ingredients. There are endless possibilities for its use, too numerous to explain. The youngster will have to create his own mayhem. We have our own mayhems to create. We will have to suggest a subtle means to accomplish his needs. Not advice or example, but with a gentle pointing, so he could misconstrue this as his own accomplishment.”

Ron kept taking out a piece of parchment and referring to it as he looked around the apothecary. He was adding up the cost of ingredients for a potion as he went along. As he mumbled boomslang skin, he sucked in his breath.

Harry perked up his ears. “Boomslang skin, that is the major ingredient used in polyjuice potion. What would Ron need that for?” Harry had been following Ron through the store wondering what he was up to. “Ron! Ron!” Ron finally looked at Harry. “What are you doing. You are acting a little strange.”

“It doesn’t matter Harry. I don’t have the money for the ingredients I need. The boomslang skin is very expensive.”

Harry understood. While Ron’s family was large and good-natured and loving, his family had little money. Ron was proud and he wouldn’t take a hand out. Harry had a fairly large inheritance. He kept that information from Ron, so Ron wouldn’t think him a rich brat. Which he wasn’t because he didn’t even know he was rich until he was eleven. “Come on Ron, tell me what you are doing. I am your best friend and I am curious. Actually, I am dying to know.”

“You will laugh if I tell you.”

“No I won’t.”

“Well Harry, I really like Hermione. I just can’t tell her. I just don’t know how to act around a girl. Besides, she is my best female friend. She might not like me any more if I try to get romantic with her. You, her, and I are a great team. It is not my place to break that team up with Voldemort clouding our future. I have decided to pursue another lady. She however is smitten with our worst enemy in school, Draco Malfoy. I want to make some polyjuice potion so I can assume his body and woo her away from him. Don’t laugh Harry, I am in love with Pansy Parkinson.”

Harry stood there stunned with his mouth open. This was not the situation as the twins had described it to him. Finally he spoke, “Ron, this is totally bonkers.” Then Harry started to laugh; he couldn’t help himself, his stomach started to hurt.

Ron was pissed. “I should not have told you. I knew you would laugh.”

Harry breathing painfully spoke, “I am not laughing at you, Ron. I am laughing at the possibilities of the polyjuice potion. I could become Snape and give Draco detention. I could scare the wits out of first years if I looked like McGonagall. I could check out the snogging skills of various girls with their boyfriend’s bodies. The possibilities are a tribute to George and Fred’s warped minds. I always knew they were a bad influence. We need to forget this and act responsible.”

Ron grinned from ear to ear. “Yea! Right Harry!”

“Figure out how much it would cost to make up a gallon. Your brothers have entrusted me with a small sum of money for you, two galleons. Their fortunes have been rising with the opening of their store and they feel that you deserve a reward for their less than admirable behavior towards you on many past occasions. They are concerned with your romantic distress and hoped a small amount of money would aid in your recover. Candy and flowers perhaps for Hermione?” Harry pulled two galleons from his pocket careful to hide the sound of greater sums and handed them to Ron. “They were apologetic there was no more.”

“I only need about a pint Harry. Can you finance the rest? I have found a very special book I wish to get for Hermione and I will not have enough to go halves with you.”

Harry, taking an actors pose spoke, “Fear not young Ron, I will examine my affairs, so thou might romance a fair young maiden. Besides, I thought you were going to pursue Pansy.”

“I am just buying her a book as a friend.”

While Ron was gone, Harry bought all the ingredients and had them wrapped in a parcel. When Ron returned Harry asked him, “Whom are we going to help us to brew this potion? None of the mates we know are any good at potions that leaves only the girls we know.”

“Hermione is out,” sighed Ron. “It would hurt me to have her know I am pursuing someone else. Ginny is out as she is my sister and too good a friend of Hermione. Any suggestions, Harry?”

“Yes, I know the perfect person. She is excellent in potions. She is caring and sweet and she is dizzy enough not to worry about the consequences.”

“You are not thinking of, come on Harry, she is really strange, she would never, yes, she is the one. Luna Lovegood is not of our house. She is different enough to approve of our action or ditzy enough to help us, and she is excellent in potions.”

“Well I was hoping for Ginny as I happen to really like her, but Luna is a better choice overall. Now where are we going to make the potion? It takes almost a month.”

Ron had mixed emotions as he liked Harry, but the protectiveness of his being Ginny’s brother would not allow him imagining Harry snogging with Ginny. “Unless you want to use Myrtle’s bathroom, I suggest the Room of Requirement. It changes to meet your needs. Although we use it for DA practice, I think depending on our mood, it would assume the needs we require.”

“Excellent Ron, Luna and the Room of Requirement it is. Lets go get some ice- cream, as I am hungry. We can talk over the details over a nice chocolate sundae.”

As Harry closed the door to the compartment on the train, he realized that only him and Luna were in the compartment. She was reading the latest installment of the Quibbler while balancing a melon on her head. Harry had to admit to himself that while others thought her strange, she actually made a lot of sense when she explained why she did things. If you asked a six year old child how the sun worked, they would give you a long detailed account with perfect logic and a confident sense of knowledge that the explanation was the correct one. “To be honest,” thought Harry, “usually their explanation was at least as good as the adult version and sometimes made more sense.”

Luna still had that quality. She could explain the simplest of things as if they were totally new to her. Harry thought to himself. “I have seen people killed and killed myself although not by design. I am old beyond my years in some emotions, yet young in body and feelings in others. Luna is refreshing. She accepts life and death equally and doesn’t worry about either.”

“May I ask Luna why the melon on your head?”

“It is to help me read better. As I move my head to balance the melon, I must adjust my vision to be able to read the newspaper. Be it train, plane, or bicycle, as my head bounces, I will still be able to read signs or books without effort. The article on how to do it and why is here in the Quibbler if you wish to read it.”

“Well Luna, I wish to use your services in other ways.”

“Oh! Harry I thought you would never get around to it!” she gushed.

Harry was not quite sure what Luna meant by that, so he continued trying to lead her to what he needed her to do. “Luna, you are very good with potions. Ron and I need training so we can get good NEWTS in potions. As you well know Professor Snape does not particularly like either of us and condemns us for the slightest miscalculation. A more gentle forgiving teacher would be most grateful.”

“Ok Harry, what is the potion you wish to make?”

“A polyjuice potion.”

“And why?”

Harry thought that she might figure it out anyway so he told her the truth, “Ron wishes to look like Malfoy so he can woo Pansy Parkinson.”

“It is a difficult procedure and Hermione is the only one I know who has made it before. I will have to ask for her help.”

“You can’t.” said Harry. “Ron is really in love with Hermione. He feels that since she is his friend that if he tries to get romantic with her and if it doesn’t work, she will no longer be his friend and he doesn’t wish to lose her friendship. He has taken a liking for Pansy. Pansy however only has eyes for Draco. Therefore, Ron wishes to look like Draco so he can woo Pansy until the time is right to reveal his true self. If Hermione has feeling for Ron, he does not want to reveal he has been looking at another. He is afraid of being rejected and destroying his and Hermione’s friendship especially with Voldemort hanging around trying to kill us all.”

“Ah love,” sighed Luna. “You have a place where we can do this and all the ingredients.”

“Yes,” replied Harry. “The Room of Requirement will furnish our needs and I have already bought all the ingredients.”

“We will have lots of time together won’t we Harry?”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“Excellent, I agree!”

“Please don’t tell anyone else. Ron would be greatly embarrassed and he is my best friend.”

“I won’t Harry,” and Luna walked over to Harry on her knees and hugged him, stood up and sat back down and started reading her paper.

Harry could not dwell on his confusion as the door to the compartment opened and Ron, Ginny, and Hermione entered. As the girls engaged Luna in conversation, Ron nodded expectantly twice quickly, his eyes wide open.

Harry responded with one nod and a quick smile. Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out some sickles. He handed them to Ron and whispered, “Buy the girls their favorites and ours too off the trolley. I feel in a festive mood after all that negotiation.”

Ron grinned. “I bet she was difficult.”

“Not at all, I just wish I knew what I have gotten myself into. She seems smitten with me.”

“Well lets look at your love life, since I don’t seem to have one,” spoke Ron. “Cho was just too strange. When you didn’t pay attention to Ginny, she went on to others, and Hermione is your best friend. Luna is very pretty, she has a great body, and she is very intelligent and is easy to talk to. Her outlook on life is good, confusing, but good. She dances to a different drummer, one a note off in the beat. I would snog her.”

Harry laughed. “Right now I would snog with a lamppost if it smiled at me. Well all we need to do is set times and dates and start the potion brewing.”

The first few days of school were hectic and by the middle of the week Harry was finally able to sneak away to the third floor hallway where the Room of Requirement was hidden. He walked back and forth, in front of where the door should be concentrating. “I need a place to brew potions. I need a place to brew potions. I need a place to brew potions.” Slowly a door materialized. Harry opened the door and went in. Inside was a small square room with a table in the middle. Bookshelves on one wall held many titles concerning potions. On the other wall was drawers and cubbyholes labeled with the ingredients for making potions. On the table was a medium sized caldron with a slow fire burning underneath. “We will need more light and a table and three chairs to do our homework.” As Harry turned to go the room got brighter. Candles had appeared in holders on the walls and a table with comfortable chairs appeared. As Harry went back into the hall and the door closed, he thought, “Let no one enter except Ron, Luna, or I.” The door slowly faded. Hermione was going to be a problem. She was naturally curious or nosey depending on whom you talked to. She, Ron, and Harry were good friends and Harry didn’t wish to raise any suspicions with her. He debated whether to let Luna tell her that Ron and he were taking potion lessons from Luna to improve their chances of becoming aurors. With Hermione’s busy schedule Harry felt that while she would agree to teaching them, it would take too much of her time. “Actually,” thought Harry, “we could invite her to study with us.” She would probably figure out the potion they were going to brew, but he could always tell her that he and Ron couldn’t change their looks like Tonks and it could be a very important potion to know if you were an auror trying to sneak up on someone.”

He would have to consult the marauder’s map to see if there were less traveled ways to the hallway where the Room of Requirement was. They would also have to wait until after the DA classes to check on their brew.

Meeting Ron in the dormitory before the rest of the boys came to bed, Harry confided in him. He explained his ideas to Ron. Since he and Ron were intending to become aurors, it was natural for them to try to improve their skills where they were lacking. They wouldn’t have to make up a story to hide their goings, so it would be easier to act natural around the others and not have to sneak around, at least among their friends. As far as it was concerned, Ginny and Neville could also come as they did well at the battle of the ministry and they might find use for the potion one day.

“That is a great cover Harry. If we are all studying the potion together it will not be as obvious what I am going to use it for. Only you and I will know. The others can also help us with learning and acting like the person I wish to turn into!”

“Ron, I think you have found your calling. I think the twins have rubbed off on you a little. We tell the others everything except that you wish to woo Pansy. Since we are really going to do what we say we are, we won’t have to make up anything. The simpler a plan usually the greater chance it will succeed.”

That evening after classes Harry and Ron grabbed their book bags and were heading out the entrance to Gryffindor when Hermione approached them. “Where are you two going?” she asked. “I was hoping to have the two of you join me in the library to study.”

“Well ah! We have to go meet someone,” said Ron.

Hermione was sharp she was also suspicious. “What are you two up too? I hope it is not sneaking around the castle in the dark, breaking into places you aren’t supposed to be, and doing things you aren’t supposed to be doing.”

Ron was starting to enjoy himself. “Well yea, we are going to be doing a little of that and other things. We didn’t wish to get you involved, knowing how you like to follow the rules.” Hermione was great at reminding the boys to follow the rules in spite of the fact she had probably broken as many of them as they had.

“I am going to get my book bag and I am going with you two to keep you out of trouble.”

As she went to get her bag, Ron whispered to Harry. “You know her too well. We couldn’t have kept this a secret. If we had tried to, she would have been mad at us forever. Do you think it would be ok to tell her our cover story while we go up to the third floor?”

Harry grinned. “Ron, I think you are a natural actor. I don’t think we could have kept it from her. She knows us too well. Go ahead and tell her our cover story. She will point out problems with it and you can ask for her advice. This will make her think she is protecting us from ourselves.”

As they crepe up and down stairs and along hallways Ron told Hermione about the potions lesson and how helpful it would be, if he and Harry were chosen to be aurors.

Hermione was quiet for a few minutes and then said to Ron, “I am glad you two realize your failings in potions. Luna is a good choice for a teacher. The polyjuice potion is a very difficult potion to begin with, however its potential in your possible employment is excellent. You are right, I do have lots of studying, and it would take a lot of my time. This is a well thought out plan.” She stopped Ron and pecked him on the cheek. “I am glad you decided to include me.”

Ron laughed quietly. “As if we could have gotten away with not including you.”

Luna stepped out from behind a statue. “Hi everyone. Shall we get started?”

Harry went to the wall and thought hard, “I need a place to do potions.” The door appeared. Harry walked inside. Hermione stopped at the door and could not come any further.

“The door disappeared when I tried to enter. What is going on? Is Harry all right?”

     “Room,” thought Harry, “allow Hermione to enter as well as Ron and Luna.”

Hermione stepped across the threshold.

Harry explained, “Sorry about that, I asked the room to only let Ron, Luna, and me in as a safety precaution. I didn’t really think it would work. It is nice to know that it does. Room, we will need another chair and a little larger table. The table grew to fit another chair. Besides the obvious we all have other studying to do.”

Harry started unpacking the ingredients for the potion while Ron pulled out a sheave of parchment. “Fred and George gave me a copy of the potion ingredients and the methods to brew it. They snitched a copy a long time ago, but never had the money for the ingredients.”

“Good thing they could not afford it,” said Hermione, “or we would not know what kind of mayhem they might have come up with.”

Luna began. “We will need three caldrons, one for each of us. If one of the brews goes bad, we won’t loose everything.” Three caldrons appeared on the table.

As the three of them cut up ingredients, and ground up powders, and mixed liquids, Hermione pulled out her books and started studying. “Since you two are going to have quite a bit of potion made up, what do the two of you plan on doing with it?”

Glancing quickly at Ron, Harry spoke, “As you know Ron and I did this once before. One of the problems we noted was with the voice and mannerisms of our selected target. If we study the person who we wish to imitate, we can build a profile of that person. Once we have a profile, we can practice acting like them until no one can tell the difference. Once the potion is done we can change into the body of that person and evaluate our performance.”

“What if the person is a girl?” asked Luna.

“A guy trying to be a girl would be too difficult. For one thing, the voice would definitely be difficult. There might be a spell or potion that could change a person’s voice, but it would be a lot more work. Being male a lot of our movements and actions are male, based on our anatomy. The female body moves differently due to differences in their anatomy. One would have to practice a very long time while in the female form in order to mimic it correctly. It is probably best that males mimic males and females mimic females.”

“Have you selected a target to mimic?” asked Luna.

“Ron and I have decided on Draco. We will both practice being him and you two can evaluate our performance and determine which does the best job and why. Neither one of us like him so he would be a challenge.”

“What about the clothing and body part that is required?” asked Hermione.

“I will talk to Dobby. He can get us the proper robes and may be able to get us samples of hair from Draco’s hair brush when he cleans their dormitory.”

“Make sure you get the right hairs!” said Hermione, remembering her mistake.

Luna looked puzzled. “What do you mean by the right hairs?”

“Hermione was supposed to go with us to the Slytherin dormitory and see if Draco knew anything about the Chamber of Secrets. Instead of getting one of Millicent Bulstrode’s hairs, she accidentally got a hair of Millicent’s cat. She looked like a cat with the fur and everything. She was so cute, I just wanted to pet her, but she wouldn’t let me. All she wanted to do was lick herself and hack fur balls,” said Ron.

     “Ron Weasley, I did not lick myself, much and I never got a fur ball. It was a nightmare! Where as the polyjuice only works for about an hour if you change human shape, it took almost a week for the cat spell to wear off. The tail kept making the back of my dress stand up. It was embarrassing.”

Luna laughed hilariously. “I can visualize what you went through. You three have so much fun. You probably didn’t think it was so great at the time, but telling about it now, it must have been really funny!”

Ron and Harry started laughing too and slowly Hermione lightened up and started laughing. “The good thing was, I had every mouse in the hospital wing cornered in three days.”

“You didn’t eat any of them did you?” asked Ron. They all laughed again.

“I will never tell,” replied Hermione licking her lips.

Every night for a week the foursome sneaked out to the Room of Requirement to brew the potion and work together on their homework. They did not go as unnoticed as they had hoped. Other friends of theirs had been told the foursome was going here or there to study and they never showed up. Two friends in particular were very curious. Harry was hoping and expecting them to show up. He had already made plans to include them when they did.

A redheaded girl popped out from behind a statue as the foursome gained the hall to the Room of Requirement. “Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Luna Lovegood, what might you be doing in this hall at this hour?” demanded Ginny Weasley. “Having sneaky brothers, I know the four of you are up to something.”

“How did you know?” asked Ron surprised.

Harry interrupted. “I have been expecting them, Ron. Would you have been suspicious Ron?”

“Darn tooting,” said Ron. “A person you know and have fought Voldemort with it is as if we can read each other’s mind and actions.” Thinking about it Ron smiled. “Of course if they didn’t show up we would be suspicious.”

“Ginny there is one other and where might he be?”

“Behind the statue with me,” she giggled. “May I present Professor Snape!” They all drew in their breath.

Neville stepped out. “At last, I have caught Harry Potter breaking the rules with his rag tag band. Fifty points from Gryffindor and a week’s detention for everyone.”

“Neville is the one who realized something was going on and he asked my help to find out what it was,” said Ginny.

“Well yes, that is true,” said Neville. “I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew the four of you went somewhere and I couldn’t find you. I asked Ginny’s help. Once I pointed out the situation, she was relentless. Therefore here we are. I hope your aren’t mad Harry.”

“Not at all,” said Harry. “I have expected you. The qualities, which you both have, made it a strong possibility you would show up. Anyway, we need to get out of the hall.” The door of the Room of Requirement opened and Harry told it to let Ginny and Neville in. The table grew bigger and two more chairs appeared. “Neville you need to come up here and grab a caldron. We have enough ingredients left for you to brew a potion too.”

“Harry, you know I am not good with potions. Professor Snape always uses me for the bad example. It is a wonder I have learned anything at all.”

“You just lack confidence. Ron and I have the same problem with Snape. Luna has been very good at teaching us. She explains every step and why we have to do what we do. Hermione has experience with this potion and she keeps us from going astray. We are working together as a team, which is what it is going to take to defeat Voldemort.”

They all agreed.

“What potion are you making?” asked Ginny.

“Polyjuice potion!”

“That is a very advanced potion,” spoke Ginny. “Why that one?

“Ron and I would like to become aurors. A bunch of simple potions would train us as well as a more complex one, however another problem is as aurors we might have to impersonate someone. We are trying to accomplish two things at once.”

“Knowing the effects of the polyjuice potion from Hermione, do you have an individual in mind to mimic?”

“We have selected Draco.”

“Great Harry, we can get back at him for some of the things he has done,” exclaimed Neville.

Harry winked at Neville where the girls could not see. “It is not about revenge Neville it is about improving our skills!”

“Well, what about us?” said Ginny. The other girls looked at her. “We may need this skill too. There has to be a girl we despise or like or just want to be like to see how things would work out.” The girls all giggled.

“What about Pansy Parkinson? She is so shallow, she would be a real challenge,” said Luna. The other girls agreed.

“Well, I don’t know,” said Harry as Ron gave him a mysterious look. “This is supposed to be for training, not for fun.”

Luna spoke up. “Harry, if it is fun we will enjoy the training more and learn more.”

Everyone looked at Harry in expectation.

“Ok, ok, you have me. It sounds good. The boys do Draco and the girls do Pansy. In a way, it is good as they do spend a lot of time together. Once we train ourselves if we can pull off a simple replacement, I feel we have been successful. Meanwhile we have homework.”

As the weeks progressed into a month the potion in each caldron was brewing correctly. The team had refined the ways that they approached the way to the Room of Requirement so they would not be surprised again. The use of group study was beneficial in many areas of the group’s endeavors. It was also a great forum for them to discuss their individual desires after their training at Hogwarts was over.

During the month when the potion was brewing, all six of them observed the coming and goings of Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson. They took notes on clothing, hairstyle, and manner of walking, eating, and small idiosyncrasies in manners of talking and daily life. Taking their notes to the Room of Requirement, they discussed what they had seen and what it meant. They also learned a lot about observing other people without being seen. Due to their observations, they were aware of what many of the other students were doing.

It was decided that each of the boys would stand up and act as Draco. Then all of them would critique their actions until they were perfect. The girls would do Pansy and explain why she did what she did to the boys.

With the discussion of Pansy, the boys were amazed at how complex small things could be with girls and how simple some of the larger things could be. They did begin to understand women a little better or so they thought. Finally, the brew was ready. Harry suggested a Saturday evening after supper when they could all spend a long time together.

Harry monitored the groups’ progress to the Room of Requirement and was happy none of them was followed. Clearing away the chairs from the table, each of them had a caldron in front of them in case they had to hurl. Each had put on the robe of their selected victim. Each of them was poured a glass of the potion that they all looked at with hesitation. Opening two containers, Harry placed a hair from their selected target into each of the participant’s glasses.

Ron looked over at Hermione’s hair. “That looks a bit small and orange like a tabby cat’s hair.”

“You wouldn’t dare Ron Weasley,” said Hermione accusingly.

“No way,” said Ron laughing. “If you turned into a cat you might be inclined to use the hair of a rat and turn me into a rat. Then there would be a huge rat being chased through the castle by a smaller but more determined cat. That would be a little difficult to explain!”

“Ah the possibilities of mayhem,” thought Hermione with a small smile and a sideward glance at Ron.

“After we change, the three boys and the three girls will go into character and we will try to determine who is who. Cheers every one and remember it tastes worse than it smells,” said Harry.

They all tipped their glassed together. Gagging and sputtering they all managed to down a swallow. Every one was too busy with their own transformations to watch how the others were doing other than a glance or two. Removing his glasses since now he did not need them, Harry looked around at the others. It was unnerving. Both Ron and Neville looked identical. The three girls looked exactly alike. “This must be what it would be like if you were a triplet,” thought Harry. “It would be hard to be alone with yourself if you looked like everyone else. No wonder twins and triplets were so close. Girls turn around, while we three mix it up.” The boys swapped positions and Harry pointed at who he thought was Neville.

With the strong voice of Draco, Draco one said, “Well Pansy Parkinson it is about time you came to me.” Walking up to the girls, who had turned around he continued. He looked at each one with a sneer on his lips. “I always knew you would be coming to be with the future leader of the wizarding world.”

The second Draco spoke up. “What do we have here a collection of Harry Potters friends. A couple of poor useless Weasleys, who give wizards a bad name, a useless bumble head boy, a mudblood girl, and the savior of the wizarding world, get real!”

The third Draco spoke up, “So you think you can get away with breaking the rules here at Hogwarts. Well I have Professor Snape waiting outside the door with Crabbe and Goyle. You have been caught!” He walked to the door as to open it.

“Wait,” said Luna/Pansy. “You people are giving me the creeps!”

“Yes,” said Ginny/Pansy, “major creepy. You three are just like him. Too much, like him. Well girls let get into our character and interact with the Draco’s and later we can decide who is who. Boys turn you backs.” The Draco’s did. The girls and boys then milled around talking to each other going from one to another until everyone had been with everyone.

A slight tap on each of the others arms, and Harry took the boys’ aside. He gave them a short talk in a huddle. The three pointed at the clock on the wall and lined up. The girls took up places opposite. They suddenly started changing back to their original selves. The transformation complete for a minute both sides just looked at each other. The conversation started with a roar.

“You sure had me fooled!”

“I knew it was you!”

“You will have to work on that it was a dead give away.”

“I never knew you could be so saucy. “

“I figured you were Ginny.”

Harry put back on his glasses and started to laugh. The rest of them looked at him and started to laugh as well. Everyone started hugging each other and tears were rolling down everyone’s face. Finally, Harry broke it up. With a chuckle he said, “Well now we have to review each performance so we can get better. There were probably dead giveaways.”

“Ron”

“Ron was impeccable,” said Hermione. “If I didn’t know the way he walked I would have never known it was him. He is tall and lanky and a bit uncoordinated. Draco is short and walks smoothly. Draco is probably as tall as he is going to be. With a little training, Ron would be hard to pick out.”

“Neville”

Ginny spoke up. “Neville has a nervous twitch when he is excited or nervous. I think it would go away if he was more confident in his portrayal of Draco. Otherwise he was excellent.” The other girls agreed.

“Me,” said Harry.

“Well I knew it was you all along Harry. I could feel your inner being. The body was someone else’s but the essence was you,” said Luna dreamily.

The other girls looked at Luna and spoke.

First Ginny spoke. “Harry you were great. It was so creepy. You were like I was really talking to Draco.”

Hermione responded. “All your mannerisms and actions were just like him, it was uncanny. I only figured you out by figuring out the others. Ron will be better as Draco though, because you seemed to have reservations about something’s. You would be great for a few minutes, but for the long term, you just are too mentally and emotionally different from him. You can’t be an actor as Draco because you despise him too much.”

“Right you are Hermione. I could be him for a while, but I lack the motivation to be him for a long period. He reminds me too much of the Dark Lord.”

“Luna”

“Luna is good, but it is not in her nature to be someone else for any length of time,” said Neville. “She slipped out of character a couple of times. When she was in character, she was great. Just like Pansy. She also almost never blinks. Pansy would.”

“Ginny”

“Ginny did well but I know her well,” said Ron. “She has that touch of Weasley temper like mum. She had me fooled until I goaded her a bit.”

Ginny smiled at her brother, “You know how to push my buttons don’t you my brother.”

“Yep!”

“Hermione was the best,” said Harry. “Don’t you agree guys.”

The boys nodded.

“There is only one criticism she used too big of words for Pansy. I don’t believe Pansy knows the meaning of interlude much less how to spell it. Pansy is a gorgeous git, but she is relying only on her looks to advance in life and time will show her the error of her ways.”

Hermione responded. “It is hard to remove yourself completely from the character you are portraying.”

“Agreed,” said Harry. “That is why we are practicing this. This could be dangerous business. We must learn to act as someone else and never be out of character even it is against our nature. This is good training. We all now know our shortcomings and we need to practice to remove them. I have an idea for a practical mission for later. It is time to go.” As the group dispersed it was interesting to note how the girls and boys teamed up.

Harry cornered Luna as the rest left. “May I escort you to your dormitory?”

“Yes you may.”

“Do you think they are on to us?”

“Not a clue, they are so desperate for each other it is depressing that they just can’t be themselves and get it over with. It is not adolescent infatuation Harry it is deep strong love. Everyone around you is more mature than even most adults I have met. While nature will always weave its eternal web of life, love, and passion, life is still uncertain with Voldemort on the loose. Every one of us should have love. The future is too uncertain and at least we should have something besides our possible fate at the hands of Voldemort.”

It was if a ton of bricks had fallen on Harry. His shoulders slumped and his eyes became down cast. “Luna, I have great responsibilities. I don’t wish them or want them, but they are there just the same. I did not ask to be the savior of the wizarding world, but it appears that the situation is beyond my control.”

Stopping, Luna kissed Harry on the cheek. “Harry you can only do as good as you can do. There are too many other influences concerned for you to worry about all the possibilities. You think of others before you think of yourself. When you do think of yourself, you feel as if you have abandoned everyone else. Be a little selfish. You have the right to be happy like every one else in spite of what you might think. Live for the moment for with our situation we don’t know what the next moment will be.”

Harry pulled Luna to him and kissed her soundly on the lips then drew away. Luna pulled him back to her and give Harry a lingering kiss filled with passion, love, and hope.

The kiss finished Harry just held her for a long while enjoying her warmth and softness. He mumbled, “It would be nice to have someone to share my feelings with. Maybe it would make them less important, less powerful, more ordinary. It would take a strong person not easily swayed to keep me pointed in the right direction. You wouldn’t know anyone who might be able to help me?”

Looking Harry in the eye Luna replied as if thinking, “Everyone I know is not right for you Harry. Most of them already have someone who is matched to them. I guess you are stuck with me.” She laughed when she saw the look on his face. Giving him a quick kiss, she pulled on his arm. “Come it is getting late and I still have some studying to do.” As they walked down the halls she asked him, “By the way what kind of mischief do you have planned for Draco?”

“What do you mean?” asked Harry.

“What other reason would you have for practicing his persona.”

“Luna you are sharper than people give you credit for!”

“Well I am a Ravenclaw!” she said with a wink.

As they walked, Harry explained his thoughts on the ruin of Draco.

After a couple of weeks balancing books on his head and walking around Ron had smoothed out his walk and everyone was hard put to tell him from Draco. Neville had lost his twitch and you could yell at him and he didn’t lose his composure. Luna was just going to be Luna. Hermione easily adapted to using less complex concepts and words. “It is easy,” she said. “I just act as if I am still eleven.” The other two girls giggled loudly.

Ron replied, “I knew you when you were eleven. You were more mature then than Pansy is now. Except you were a little mental at times.”

“Ron Weasley, I was not mental!”

“Whoa girl!” said Ginny. “Do you realize what Ron just did? He pushed your buttons. He is very good at it. He knows you very well if he knows how to get you going on about something. I have been paying attention to what he is saying and now I can catch him when he tries to get me fired up. Under that pleasant exterior lurks a sly manipulator ready to pounce on an unsuspecting victim. His brothers taught him well.”

“Hmm!” said Hermione. “It looks like I will have to watch him more closely.”

“Me, little old innocent me!” said Ron.

“Ron don’t you be pulling that innocent routine. I know you better than that.”

The rest of them laughed long and hard.

Harry pulled Ron aside at the end of the session. “Ron, you are ready. Luna has agreed to help us out. She will deliver a note to Pansy to meet you at the base of the north tower at ten o’clock tomorrow night. Once you meet her, it is your game. I will make sure the real Malfoy doesn’t bother you. I am not sure you are making the right decision, but it is your life and as a friend I will help you out.”

“Thanks for your support Harry. Really, I like Hermione. We just don’t seem to get along. I would like to try someone different just to see if I think Hermione would be worth the effort to be with.”

“Ok Ron, tomorrow at ten.”

Harry canceled all further meeting until a time he designated. The others were concerned but bowed to his decision.

Ron was a bit nervous. “Pansy was beautiful. He had to maintain the Draco persona, long enough to get to know her without her suspecting and then he would reveal himself. He would have to remember that he only had an hour as Draco.” She came walking up the hall to the base of the stairs. “Man, she was nice.”

“Pansy, it is about time you got here. I have been waiting five minutes.”

“I am not late Draco.”

“I would assume you would have been here early since you knew I was going to be here,” he sneered.

“I was having my nails done so I would look good for you.”

“We have many things to discuss. Sit down here next to me.” Pansy placed herself next to Draco with a flourish.

“As you know, the wizarding world had been invaded with half bloods and mudbloods, pure bloods such as our selves are being overrun. The pure bloods must stick together and rid the others from the wizarding world.”

As Draco explained his design for the wizarding world, Pansy would interrupt. “I would escort you everywhere. I would be beside you showing a wizarding woman’s support for your ideas. I would need more elegant robes and a more complex hair style or maybe a down home look to seem like a sister to the more unfortunates.”

“You have ambition Pansy that is why I have chosen you. I must leave now, as I will be missed if I am gone to long. Give me a kiss!”

Pansy presented her cheek.

“What about on your lips?” Draco asked.

“I don’t want to mess up my lipstick.”

“Next time we will do things my way. I will leave a note for you with Luna Lovegood.”

“Why her?”

“She is not of our house or Gryffindor, I suspect there are spies in both houses. She is too dumb to be anything but a loyal messenger. She is however a pure blood and admires my ambitions.”

They arose from the bench and went their separate ways.

Ron ducking behind a tapestry changed back into himself.

“How did it go?” asked Harry.

“I think I was good as Draco, but lousy as Ron.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well she seemed to like my Draco persona so well I don’t think she will like my Ron personality at all. She is beautiful but shallow very shallow. I think all she cares about is her looks and showing them off not that I mind. Snogging with her would be great, but afterwards there would be little left to talk about. Next time I will try to get some emotion out of her towards the Draco me.”

“She may not be capable of deep emotions and feelings.”

“I know, but I must try. Maybe I am expecting too much. Hermione has such great depth of emotions and you can talk to her about anything. I think I am trying to compare the two and I must learn to accept Pansy just for what she is not what I have been used too.”

Harry just shook his head. “How about next Saturday night?”

“Sounds good Harry. I will have to plan my methods.”

Deciding to be a little late Ron/Draco waited in hiding behind the tapestry. Pansy was on time. Sitting on the bench she pulled out a compact and studied her lipstick and hair. Making herself presentable, she looked around expecting Draco. She started to fidget after a while apparently she was not used to waiting for anything.

Draco made his appearance. “About time you got here.”

“What? I was waiting for you. I have been here for a while.”

“Don’t contradict me woman.” Striding up to Pansy, Draco took her in his arms as she rose to object. “Your lipstick be damned.” He kissed full on the lips expecting a passionate response of some kind.

She kissed him back like she was kissing a picture of her favorite dress no passion and no emotion.

“O, Draco you are so strong so passionate. Do you want me to help you with your ambitions?”

“Yes of course. You have the ambition the others don’t have. I think you will do well as my helper.”

“Helper! Pooh! I must be your mate to be believable.”

“So be it come here and seal the bargain!”

Draco hugged her and she melted into him then stiffened. “Just don’t wrinkle my robes.”

He put his hand on the back of her head to draw her questing lips to him. “Please don’t mess up my hair.”

Draco pulled away and started talking about all the ways he could discredit the mudbloods. Pansy joined him in his revelry.

Draco stood up. “I will leave a message for you next time I want to see you.” He walked off.

Pansy looked after him as he left. There was a look of disgust on her face.

As Draco turned and waved at her, she smiled at him and went her way back to her dormitory.

“How did it go Ron?”

“Terrible, she was as passionate as a piece of paper. I have played with bugs with more feelings. Hermione is years ahead of her in emotions, thoughts, and deeds. I thought it would be easy to get her to snog, but I have decided I wouldn’t even want to. It would be so unsatisfying. I guess it would help tremendously if each of you liked each other. She just wants to bask in the shadow of Draco, but do nothing to contribute. I am going to just forget about her. Just walk away and chalk it up to experience. My original problem still exists. I still like Hermione so much. I thought this would help, but it just made me miss her more.”

“Ron you have to do one thing for me.”

“What is that Harry?”

“You have to have closure with Pansy. You must reveal who you are to her. Your designs on her were not noble, but your actions with her have been. You must tell her of her shortcomings. It may allow us to gain a friend in Slytherin. We need all the help we can?”

Ron thought a long time. “All right Harry. I have been a git about all this. I can see that. If we can salvage some use for all this, I am for it.”

Harry with a lighter note slapped Ron on the back. “You are a good-looking dude, and there will be a girl for you. You have many fine qualities. Pansy was just not your type. Now let us discuss our revenge against Draco.”

Ron lightening up had many inspired ideas for annoying the proud Draco.

     Meeting Pansy on time, Ron/Draco greeted her and told her they must go to the top of the tower. He had much to tell her and it was so romantic looking off the top of the tower. Pansy agreed. They walked up the stairs hand in hand; he being careful of her freshly painted nails.

Reaching the top of the tower, they found a bench in the light of the full moon. It was a warm night and the breezes brought the scents of a more natural life than the musty odors of the old castle. Ron seated Pansy then sat next to her careful not to wrinkle her robes. “Pansy, I have not been forthright with you. There is another girl.”

Pansy looked shocked. “What do you mean Draco a fling an affair?”

“No Pansy it is a girl I know I love. She is as pretty as you are, but she also has a depth of heart that you don’t have and never will. I don’t really have the ambition to take over the wizarding world. I would prefer a nice quiet loving life with the woman I care for.”

“Well, what is wrong with me?” asked Pansy indignantly.

“Pansy you are beautiful, cunning, and ambitious, however you are not very loving, or intimate. Your ambitions are more important than the quality of your emotional life.”

“Well Draco, I have not been forthright with you either. I have my sights on another man. You are ambitious and you don’t care who you use or how much pain it causes to others as long as you get your way. The man I like is a diamond in the rough. He has a good heart and loves deeply, but he is a little rough around the edges. Nothing he couldn’t correct if he wanted to. He brings out emotions in me that I would prefer he didn’t, but I realize it is for my best interests that he does. I am a better person from being around him.”

“He sounds like a great person. I wish I could be like him. The girl I like annoys me to no end at times. She can bring out the best or the worst in me almost at will. I would rather have a pleasant conversation with her than arguing with her. She knows how to push my buttons and I know how to push hers. I guess we are both a little hard headed. She is worth my trying to control my temper. I will have to work on that. Thanks Pansy. You have given me a vision of myself through another’s eyes.”

“Draco, I am surprised at how much better I like you since you have revealed some of yourself to me. You are not as bad a person as I thought.”

“Pansy, I am not Draco, I am someone else.” Standing Draco said, “In a minute or so I will reveal my secret.”

Pansy stood up and moved close to Draco, “I too am not what I seem. In a minute you will see my secret.”

Draco took both of her hands in his. “Let the truth be told.”

Slowly but surely they both changed gazing deeply into each other’s eyes.

“Ron Weasley, I can’t believe that was you. You had me totally fooled.”

“Hermione, I can’t believe that was you. I didn’t know you could act so totally vain.” Pulling Hermione close to him, Ron whispered in her ear with pain in his voice, “I have revealed my soul to you Hermione. What are we going to do?”

Pulling back Hermione looked him in the eye. “We should do what we should have done a long time ago. Just be ourselves with each other. Just be honest in our relationship.” Pushing him back onto the bench, Hermione sat down in his lap and started snogging the life out of him.

Ron loosened up after a second and responded in kind.

“Now isn’t this better than arguing all the time,” smiled Hermione.

“Less talk and more snogging my little vixen,” Ron groaned.

A new light shining in both their eyes they walked back to the dormitory. “I wonder,” said Ron, “was the girl I was seeing ever Pansy?”

“ Hmm,” said Hermione, “was the boy I was seeing ever Draco?”

They stopped and looked at each other. The thought struck both of them at the same time. “We have been setup!” They both broke out in peels of laughter tears filling their eyes as they danced around holding each other tightly.

“Luna never let on for a second. I am sure Ginny didn’t even know and she is Luna’s best friend.”

“Harry was magnificent. He is my best friend and there was never a clue. In fact I suggested I do this or did he agree too easily. I think we could use some answers.”

“Yes my love, but not now later!” and the two proceeded to snog anew.

“By the way Hermione what was your attraction to Draco that caused me so much distress?” Ron asked.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. He asked me several times for my notes on our homework, but that is about all. He always tried to get me away in a corner so no one would notice.”

“It looked like the two of you had something going and I was jealous.”

“That is something you will never have to worry about Ron. I despise him.” Hermione looking into Ron’s eyes cupped his chin and soundly kissed him on the lips. “You are the one I want to be with.”

Ron responded with greater passion that he had before.

Luna came out of a corner at the base of the stairs a broad smile on her face as Draco and Pansy ascended the stairs.

Harry came out from behind a tapestry.

“What do you suppose they are going to think Luna?”

“Well, I believe they are going to want to kill us for interfering with their love life. After a while they will calm down and realize we did the right thing. They are meant for each other. Their hearts know it, but their minds have had reservations.”

“You look especially fetching tonight Luna.”

“Do you think so Harry?” she said with a shy glance.

“Yes, I do. Well I guess we must be going back to the dormitory, but lets take a walk on the grounds first. The moon is full and it is warm outside.”

Taking Luna’s arm, Harry and her strolled slowly to the lake outside the castle. “Do you think it is the right choice for them to get together? Should we have interfered? They may have gotten together anyway with out our help.”

“Of course I think it was the right choice. Hermione as been going on about Ron forever. Girls tell each other about their problems with boys. Don’t boys talk about their problems with girls?”

“We do in a round about way, a hint here or there. Boys don’t show their emotions as easily as girls do. While we claim to be more logical than girls are, when it comes to women we are probably worse emotionally than they are. A rejection is far worse for us because we have a win or lose mentality. We tend to put all our hopes in at one time and a rejection crushes our ego. Girls seem to be able to be more practical. If the man they like doesn’t like them, they can settle fairly quickly for another. Cho for example was after me within months of Cedric’s death. If Cho would have died, I would have been crushed for a year or more even. It is just the way men are.”

“That is interesting insight Harry. Tell me what you think of Ron.”

“Ron is a people person. He likes people and they like him. He is very smart yet he never shows it. People are comfortable around him as he is like a brother. If he ever gets his confidence level up, he will be a great leader. He is very loyal to me which brings me great pain as I don’t wish to see him get hurt.”

“What about Hermione?”

“She is brilliant. She is Ron’s and my conscience. Without her common sense Ron and I would probably be expelled or worse for some of the stunts we have pulled.”

“What about Ginny?”

“Ginny is a total woman. She has wit, intelligence, style, and looks. She however has a bit of the redheaded temper. When she should pull back and assess the situation she will instead charge in. She needs someone to slow her down a bit and have her think before she acts.”

“What about Neville?”

“He is brave. He stuck with me until the end of the fight at the ministry. He was helpless yet he still tried to help with death staring him in the face. I could not ask better of a friend. He lacks confidence. A good woman would aid him to gain that confidence. He could be a great leader one-day with the right direction. Well, we need to get back inside. It is late and I still have a bit of studying to do.”

As they walked back to the dormitory, they engaged in spirited discussion of the Draco/Pansy affair and how devious they had been. As they approached the entrance to the Ravenclaw dormitory, they slowed. “I have had such a great time with you tonight Luna. You have been a great listener. It is good for me to get to discuss the others in my life as I care for them deeply.”

“Harry, you have showed me a side of yourself I have not seen before. You have a depth to you of which I was not aware. It is refreshing to have an adult conversation with some one instead of the tit for tat conversations I have with most boys.”

“I could be quite daring with the right lady,” said Harry in husky voice. He gently placed his hand on the side of Luna’s cheek and traced a finger down her neck to her chest between her breasts, his forehead touching hers. Luna placed one hand on the back of his head and the other around his waist.

Drawing Harry near, they kissed a long deep passionate kiss then they both realized something.

Both of them looked shocked at each other.

“You are not Harry, your breath smells of polyjuice potion!”

“You are not Luna, your breath also smells of polyjuice potion!”

“Who are you?”

“Well who are you?”

They just stared at each other. Then making excuses, they both ran off down different hallways.