Sevvie At The Ministry

Sevvie at the Ministry By Slytherin’s Silver Snake

It was another boring and uneventful day at the MoM. Fudge and the rest of the Ministry were sitting on one side of a square table, and they weren’t pleased about their latest guests. Severus, Cerise, Draco and the whole of Slytherin House were on the other side, glaring at them in the contemptuous way that only Slytherins could do. Several of the students behind them were waving flags and banners, and generally cursing a biased government.

The speaker in control called for quiet, “Order, order. Mr. Snape, why are you and the whole of House Slytherin here to protest to the ministry?”

Severus cleared his throat before he began, “Well, that’s simple. My house is tired of always being ignored. Whenever something goes right, who gets the credit?”

Cerise muttered quietly in the background, wringing her hands over and over, “Bloody Potter…”

Severus nodded in emphathic agreement, “Exactly! Bloody Harry Potter!”

He slammed a fist on the table before he continued, “The stupid Gryffindor-Chicken can’t even brew a simple Deflating Draught without attracting all the attention! I’m sick of it! There are people out there (such as myself) who are much more interesting. Take last year’s All-House Quidditch Cup match between Gryffindor and us. We win, of course, but who gets the most attention?”

Cerise sighed before muttering again to herself, “The Potter boy, all because he caught the snitch…”

Severus nodded again, “The Potter boy, all because he caught the snitch!”

Fudge frowned at the Potions Master, who preferred the term TOP Potions Master, thank you VERY much, “I see. You’re just jealous…”

Severus’ eyes became little more than narrow slits, “I am not jealous.”

Fudge looked like he hadn’t believed a word of it, “Very well. Then why are you here? How can the Ministry help you?”

Nodding towards Draco, who tossed his hair back, Severus smirked at the Minister of Magic as draco unrolled a scroll of parchment and began to read from it, “House Slytherin want, no we demand, that the Ministry of Magic acknowledges our rights as Purebloods and declares an open season on Harry Potter, all Gryffindors (as well as all Mudbloods.)

Fudge cut in, earning several glares and death threats, “But Harry Potter saved us all from You-Know-Who! He may wear NHS glasses, but why would you want to do such a thing?”

Severus’ voice was ice-cold, “He made fun of Mr. Tiddles.”

Fudge looked stupefied, “Mr. Tiddles?”

A Slytherin Student carefully lifted out a snake from a small box. They all knew that their beloved House mascot was usually silver, but much to their horror and dismay, it had been dyed a glowing pink.

They placed the snake on the table, and it quickly slithered over to Severus, who hissed at it. It immediately coiled around his arm, perching itself on his shoulder, Severus himself looking like he was wrapped in a glowing pink boa.

Fudge nodded solemly, whilst edging his chair away from the table, “I see. Mr. Snape. May I ask you what you think of Harry Potter.”

Draco burst out almost as soon as the question had ended, “Well, he’s an idiot. A Mudblood-lover, and a –

Cerise waved her arms, “Idiot is an understatement! He got three out of twenty on his test. Of course I purposely made him fail, my Snapey asked me to make him fail…”

Severus glared at the two who interrupted him, “He asked me, not you. (And please, don’t call me Snapey).”

Fudge was visibly getting tired, “…Please, just answer the question.”

Severus leaned to one side, his arm on the table as he waved his hand in a coquettish gesture, “Well, I can’t say it fully in front of all these kids, but it starts with W and rhymes with banker.”

Fudge’s face widened in surprise, “Professor Snape. There is no need to use that sort of language!”

Cerise laughed, “No you know what I have to put up with.”

Interrupted by a glare from her fellow Slytherin, Cerise fell quiet as Severus smiled evilly, “Do you want me to say everything else that I’ve learned? I’m pretty fluent in Gaelic, German and Russian. Perhaps I should insult your mother in Russian. Would you like that, Minister Fudge?”

Fudge shook his head, “No, of course not.”

“Schweinehund.”

Fudge looked up, “Eh?”

Cerise tried to explain to the best of her ability, but German wasn’t exactly her strong point, “It means… ah.. do you hunt pigs?”

Draco interrupted again, “I hunt Mudbloods. Does that count?”

Everyone turned and looked at him, “ … Mudbloods, again?”

~~~