So Close

There was suddenly a loud sound and something brushed past him ripping the wand that had already begun to glow green from his hand. Harry barely focused quickly enough to see Hedwig turn and soar back out the window with his wand firmly in her beak. He jumped up and ran to the window, but by the time he looked out, he couldn't even catch a glimpse of her. "Great, now I don't even have my wand," Harry muttered before angrily throwing himself back on his bed, covering his face with his arms.

Harry hadn't seen Hedwig for three days. Three days that Harry felt as vulnerable as he could ever remember. He didn't realize how much comfort having his wand around gave him. Every action he did around the Dursley's was carefully considered since he didn't want them to realize he was defenseless.

The forth morning after Hedwig made off with his wand, Harry was reading his Defense book when Vernon bellowed that Mrs. Figg wanted to see him again. Harry walked slower than normal on his way to the woman's house sensing what was to come. "Hedwig probably told on me again and now I'm in real trouble," he thought as he walked up the drive. Knocking on the door he was greeted by a voice he didn't expect to hear.

"Wotcher Harry! Come on in."

"Tonks? What are you doing here?" Harry said being totally bewildered by her presence.

"Had to return this now didn't we," she said handing Harry his wand back. "Your owl wouldn't let go of it for two days, she looked really pissed off. Nearly took my finger when I tried to get it from her." Tonks was eyeing him strangely. "You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

Harry was sure he looked guilty but shook his head and said, "I don't know what the bloody bird was doing when she stole it."

"Hmmm...If you say so," Tonks replied still eyeing him strangely.

"So, why'd you bring it back? " Harry said and instantly regretted how that came out. "I didn't mean that like it sounded. I meant, how come you got stuck with the job?" Harry couldn't help but feel a little better when Tonks was around. Her insistent perkiness and odd ever-changing hair color just lightened any situation. Well except for seeing her fall down the stairs at the Department of Mysteries Harry thought.

Tonks laughed and said, "I just thought you may want to talk to someone you weren't so attached to. I mean Lupin is probably like family, and all the Weasley's may as well be your family, I know they consider you part of theirs." Harry's heart jumped a bit hearing this. "I just thought you may want to talk about stuff with someone who could be a bit more impartial."

"You can't be impartial, you're part of the Order, you have to guard me," Harry replied with a bit of annoyance.

"Hey, I've guarded rooms full of junk before so that doesn't necessarily mean anything," she replied in the same tone. "But you're right, I'm not totally impartial and it's not just because of the order." She saw Harry looked confused. "Listen Harry. Most of the Order that didn't have any contact with you before last year feels just like I do. We're all amazed at what you've done and how you've handled everything. So, in that respect none of us are truly impartial. But, unlike the ones who have seen you grow up and knew your parents we can be a little more open with answers and things. Give me a shot. If you say so, I wouldn't mention anything we talk about to the others, I promise."

Harry appraised her for a few minutes and really felt she was telling the truth. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked.

"I don't care, don't you have anything you'd like to talk about?" she asked, obviously wanting to talk about Sirius.

"I don't want to talk about him right now, that's all I know," Harry said with determination.

"Ok, well then, what would you like to do?" Tonks asked.

"What? What do you mean what do I want to do?" Harry asked sounding confused.

"I mean now, the rest of the summer. I also mean after you get out of school. I'm curious what you want to do in the future," she asked still looking at him intently.

Harry thought for a minute, trying to decide how much he wanted to tell her and after a moment said, "I want to get away from the Dursleys, but I don't want to go back to Grimmauld Place." He paused and then added, "I had wanted to be an Auror when I got out of school, but it doesn't look like that will happen."

"Why won't that happen? Didn't you get good enough grades?" she asked.

"That's not it, I did fine on my O.W.L.s. It's that I'm not going to take N.E.W.T. level Potions. I'm never going to take another class from Snape," said Harry with enough conviction that Tonks didn't have to ask if he was serious.

"Well, I'm not sure much can be done about getting you away from the Dursleys since you won't come to headquarters. But, maybe we can do something about being an Auror," Tonks happily said and saw she now had Harry's attention. "Most of the people at work think very highly of you. They heard what happened at the Unspeakable's department and how you dueled Voldemort last year. They were also really impressed that you led the illegal defense group at school behind Umbridge's back. None of them have ever been fond of Fudge but needed to follow orders."

"It was Hermione's idea, and she did as much as me," Harry corrected her.

"Either way, these things have caused people in the department to think a lot of you. Maybe we could get the Potions requirement waved, or at least we could allow you to study more after school. I can understand not wanting to deal with Snape anymore; he's about the most unpleasant person I know."

"You really think there's a chance I could still get in?" Harry asked excitedly.

"If you keep up your grades and continue to excel in Defense, I think there is. You've seen already how almost everything to do with the Ministry is negotiable," Tonks replied, smiling at how excited Harry had suddenly become. "Now, is there anything else you want to talk about?"

Harry thought for a minute and asked, "Do you know about the prophecy thing?" Tonks nodded and Harry sighed before saying, "Even if some how I'm able to kill him, what will my friends think of me if I become a murderer?"

"Let me tell you something Harry. Every Auror feels the same way I do on this. If any of us get the chance, we're going to try to kill him. Maybe we can and maybe we can't. I'm not a big believer in prophecies, so I still think I have a chance to kill him, and if I can, I won't feel bad in the least, won't regret it, and I'm sure none of my friends or co-workers will think bad of me at all. I think that's how your friends would feel as well. They'll realize how much pain and death you would have saved by stopping him for good. Dumbledore didn't tell us the details of the prophecy, only that you have to be the one that stops him for good. I hope you won't mind if I get to him first and take that responsibility away from you."

Harry looked at her with newfound respect as he suddenly felt much better. "Thanks Tonks, that helps a lot."

"No problem," she replied happily. "Now, let me ask you something. How are you handling all the stuff in the Daily Prophet?"

Harry suddenly got a bewildered look on his face and said, "I haven't seen the Prophet. What are they saying now, that I'm still a crazy attention-seeking little boy?"

Tonks laughed and said, "Not quite. They seem to have taken the other extreme this time." She paused and noticed that Harry looked confused. "I don't know if I should tell you or just let you find out on your own." After a brief pause where she watched Harry start to get agitated, she said, "You're back to being everyone's favorite boy wizard. How did they put it? Oh yeah... 'A fifteen year old boy who showed as much courage as Albus Dumbledore in standing up to the Ministry and their lies.' You're in nearly every issue these days. Wizarding families have been writing in saying they'll take you in so that you don't have to live with your Muggle relatives. And younger witches have wanted to know where they can send you letters and things. You'd better watch out for them," Tonks said with a laugh.

Harry shook his head and said, "I wish they'd just forget I even exist."

"C'mon Harry, you should be enjoying this. A sixteen year old boy with all of these witches pledging their love. Isn't that what most teenage boys dream about?" she asked laughing.

Harry didn't see the humor and said, "Maybe, but most teenage boys don't have a psycho ready to kill anyone they are close to now do they?"

Tonks sighed and said, "I guess not, but you can't let that one thing totally rule your life. Try to enjoy your life as much as you can." She thought for a minute and said, "Listen, I didn't know your parents, and I wasn't that old the last time he was causing trouble but I've heard enough stories about the Marauders and other families to know that they still tried to enjoy their lives. Your parents, Lupin and Sirius knew he was after them and they still got out and had loads of fun. Your parents fell in love, got married and had you as well. They continued to try and enjoy life, and I'm sure that's what they would want you to do. Let's say worst case you don't win and he gets you in a few years." This caught Harry's attention. No one had ever been so direct with him. "Do you want to go meet your parents and have them ask why you didn't try to enjoy the life you had? Or would you rather meet them having lived your life to the fullest while you were here?" She saw him thinking and continued, "And let's take my prediction. Another Auror or myself get to kill him in a couple years and this whole prophecy thing is baloney. Wouldn't you look back on all the time you wasted worrying about things and regret it?"

Harry sighed and said, "I'm just so tired of all of this, I want to be left alone and just be a normal student at school."

"Yeah well I want to walk into a room without breaking things too, but you've seen how well that worked out," she said quite seriously.

Harry thought for a second and said, "I do have a question. What happened to Umbridge? She set those Dementors on me last year and everything."

"That story got into the Prophet as well and the next day Fudge sacked her and anyone that worked with her saying he had no idea what she was up to and hinted that she may have tricked him into signing all those decrees. Fudge is really worried about his job now, but at least he's admitted to Voldemort being back," Tonks said. "The Prophet also ran a story about how Fudge realized Voldemort was back. They said you led a group of elite students into the Department of Mysteries to foil his plan to steal some valuable object and that Dumbledore and the rest of us came along to assist you."

"That's not what happened! I led the students into a trap and you saved us!" Harry exclaimed.

"Yeah but that doesn't sell as well now does it. At least the other students are getting some good press as well," she replied as she looked at her watch. "I should be going. Are you sure there's no way you'll come to headquarters?"

"No way at all," Harry said before softening and saying, "Thanks for coming Tonks."

"No problem, maybe I can arrange it again since you're going to be stubborn and not join us. Oh and don't cause your bird to take your wand again," she said with a wink as Harry turned to leave.

Walking slowly home, Harry tried to think about what Tonks said, his parents must have tried to enjoy their lives. Sirius and Lupin always talked about having fun and enjoying the time they spent together. That just seemed too hard to him right now. He just couldn't see how he could enjoy his life when people were dying and he was the only one who could stop it.

Over the next few days, Harry's mood stayed out of the danger zone after the talk with Tonks. He had visions of a couple other deaths that did depress him but they didn't cause him to get as down as they had before his talk with Tonks.

After having a shower one morning, Harry was thinking as he lightly stroked Hedwig and said, "Well girl, in a couple weeks we'll be back at Hogwarts. It looks like I'll actually make it." The owl hooted and nibbled his finger. "Thanks for staying with me, I wouldn't have gotten through this without you," he added scratching behind her ears.

Harry was just enjoying petting his owl when he heard a knock at the front door. He walked to his door which was partly open and listened as his Aunt Petunia opened the door.

"Hello?" Petunia asked warily.

"Hello. I'm here to speak to Harry Potter," a female voice replied.

He heard his aunt suck her breath in quickly. "What has the boy done now?"

"He hasn't done anything, I just need to speak to him," the female voice answered.

"Well, he's not here and I'd prefer you not come back," Petunia said and after a second added, "Do I know you? You look vaguely familiar."

Harry poked his head out and saw a woman with long black hair, looking slightly oriental speaking to his aunt. "We've seen each other before," the woman responded and then said, "I happen to know that Harry is indeed home right now." Harry saw Petunia squirm a little before the woman spoke, "Maybe you'd recognize me like this." Harry watched as the woman's long dark hair suddenly shortened and became shocking pink in color. Petunia gasped. "I thought that may help," the woman said before turning her gaze up the stairs catching a glimpse of Harry. "Wotcher Harry!" Tonks said happily. "I'm going to speak with Harry for a while," she said to his Aunt who was still standing open-mouthed.

"Tonks, what are you doing here?" Harry asked, still surprised at the interaction between Tonks and his Aunt.

"I've come to get you out of here," she added. "I think you've spent enough time with these Muggles."

Tonks was glad to see Harry get a huge smile, but then suddenly saw it fall. "I'm not going to Grimmauld Place!" he stated firmly.

"That's right, you're not," she said hoping to alleviate his fears. She saw his confusion and she added, "The Burrow would be ok though, wouldn't it?"

"Really? The Burrow? Is it safe?" he asked.

"We'll only be there a couple weeks and everyone thinks it will be fine," she added with a smile. "C'mon let's get you packed. I've been practicing." Tonks quickly said some spells and everything flew into his trunk, much neater than the last time she packed for him. "You can let Hedwig fly, she'd probably rather travel that way."

Harry let his owl out and said, "Go see Ron girl. I'll see you there later." The owl hooted and flew off out the window. Harry turned to Tonks and said, "How are we getting there? We don't have to fly the whole way, do we?"

"No, we won't be flying this time. You'll be using a portkey and I'll Apparate once you're gone," she said retrieving a small disc from her pocket. "Dumbledore made this for you to use. Ready?" she asked and Harry quickly nodded. "Ok then, one...two...three," she said taping the disc and Harry felt the pull of the portkey. The next instant he was standing near the kitchen of one of the most comforting places he knew of, the Burrow.

Before he totally had his bearings, he was engulfed in familiar hug. "Oh, Harry, I'm so glad we were able to get you out of there. How are you dear?"

Struggling to take a breath, he was able to get out. "I'm fine Mrs. Weasley."

She held him at arms length and said, "Let me take a look at you." She appraised him for a moment and then said, "You look like you've been eating enough but you look tired. Have you been having trouble sleeping?"

He had been woken up by the vision of another attack last night but didn't want to bother Mrs. Weasley with it. "I just woke up too early and couldn't get back to sleep, that's all," he said trying to sound as honest as possible.

"Hmmm... Well, I'm glad you're here. The others are out playing Quidditch. Why don't you..."

A sudden pop followed by a crash interrupted her, "Tonks!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed.

"Sorry about that Molly. I see you made it Harry," Tonks said.

"Yeah, I'm just going to take my trunk up stairs. Thanks for coming to get me Tonks," Harry said as he pulled his trunk up the stairs. Entering Ron's room, he smiled at how nothing changed. There were clothes all over the place and Chudley Cannons posters still covering the walls. Harry sat on the bed and looked around feeling jealous of Ron and the family he had. He knew that he would gladly give up any of the fame and money in his Gringott's account to be a part of a family like this. "But Trelawney's stupid prophecy ruined everything," he mumbled to himself.

Harry sat there for a while wondering how it would be to see his friends after six weeks, and almost four without any notes. Of course he knew the lack of letters was his own fault for being short with Hermione and telling her his Uncle Vernon was complaining about the owls.

He didn't know how log he had sat there when all of a sudden, the door burst open and a tall figure with bright red hair came in. "Harry! What are you doing up here mate? We were wondering when you'd get here."

Just seeing Ron brightened Harry's mood. He could always count on Ron to not bring up unpleasant things. "I haven't been here long," Harry lied. "How come everyone got to come back here? Did something happen at headquarters?"

"Thanks to you, we finally get to leave that place for a while. I can't tell you how much I missed playing Quidditch and just being here. I'll never complain about this place again."

"Me?" Harry asked, obviously confused. "How did I have anything to do with this?"

"By refusing to go to Grimmauld Place of course," Ron said surprised at how dense Harry could be. "Dumbledore, Lupin and Kingsley have been working for a week putting up all kinds of wards so we could stay here for a bit. They really wanted you to get a break from those Muggles."

"Yeah, I'm never going back to that place," Harry said firmly. "So, is everyone staying here?"

"Yep. Hermione's been at Headquarters too, and she's taking right after Mum, forcing us to clean every little bit of the place. Even though they're meeting here, they still don't let us into the meetings, but at least we can fly a bit. Grab you broom, we need another player," Ron happily exclaimed.

Harry smiled and grabbed his Firebolt, temporarily forgetting the worries that had been troubling him so much. The two walked outside and were almost upon the others who were sitting around a table talking before they were noticed.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, running over to give him a hug. "Oh, it's so good to see you," she continued surveying him as Ron rolled his eyes behind her. Harry had to force himself not to laugh.

"You too Hermione," Harry said as soon as the hug ended.

"Hi-ya Harry," George yelled as Fred waved. Harry quickly waved back.

"How have the Muggles been treating you Harry," Ginny asked, coming to stand next to Hermione. She seemed a bit hesitant, not knowing whether to hug him like Hermione did or not.

Harry too felt a bit odd but quickly replied, "They haven't been too bad this year. Pretty much ignored me all the time."

"But they still get mad when you receive letters," Hermione angrily said and Ginny agreed.

Harry felt an instant pang of guilt as he said, "Well yeah, but they were still better than normal."

"C'mon mate, let's play," Ron said as Bill walked back out. Then he added, "Fred, me and Harry will take on you lot."

For the next hour or so, Harry completely forgot everything that was troubling him and totally enjoyed flying around with his friends. He hadn't been on a broom since Umbridge banned him from Quidditch last year. Harry did notice that his friends were watching him more closely than normal, probably wondering if he was going to crack. Mrs. Weasley brought a stop to the game when she announced a meeting was starting and that Fred, George and Bill should come inside.

"The twins are in the Order now?" Harry asked, sounding impressed.

"Junior members," Ron replied. "They still get booted from some of the meetings."

"And, they don't tell us anything!" Ginny exclaimed. "I thought for sure we'd know as much as them once they started going to the meetings."

"Well they can't tell us, Dumbledore made them promise," Hermione said and then turned to give Harry a strange look. "Are you still getting the Prophet Harry?"

Harry noticed all three of them looking at him anxiously with Ron fighting to hold back a grin. "No, I didn't get it this summer. Tonks told me that they've changed their tune on me though."

"That's an understatement!" Ron exclaimed. "You're like the editor's son or something. Every issue has some kind of good thing about you."

Harry shook his head and said, "I wish they'd just forget about me."

"But these are at least closer to the truth Harry," Ginny added.

"How did you do on your O.W.L.s?" Hermione asked.

"Hermione! You promised not to badger him about that the first day," Ron angrily said.

"Those two have been fighting about this ever since they got their results," Ginny said with a laugh.

"I did ok, a bit better than I expected," he replied. "I suppose you got perfect scores," he added directing this to Hermione.

She blushed a bit and said, "Well, just about. I only got an E in Astronomy. Remember we were interrupted."

Harry did remember. That was the night McGonagall was stunned and Hagrid fled when Umbridge tried to arrest him. "How about you?" Harry asked looking at Ron.

"I got ten, but good enough to get into Auror training, and better than the twins," he said proudly. "I reckon McGonagall fudged a bit to give me and E in Transfiguration." Ron wanted more details from Harry so he asked, "What was your count? Still on track to be an Auror?"

Harry's face fell but he tried to sound upbeat when he answered, "I got eleven. They were good enough to be an Auror. I don't know how I got by Potions."

"Without Snape around to deduct for made up problems, you probably did great," Ron said, making Harry smile.

"But something's wrong isn't there?" Hermione asked, looking at him intently. "What is it Harry?"

They were all looking at him now so he sighed and said, "I'm not taking Potions so I don't know if I'll be able to get into Auror training."

"What! Harry, you can't let me go into training alone," Ron exclaimed, clearly worried.

"Hey, what about me?" Hermione said sounding irritated.

"Well, you haven't said that's what you're going to do now have you?" Ron quickly threw back.

"Isn't that what you really wanted to do once you're out?" Ginny asked, surprising Harry that she knew. She must have realized this, so she added, "Ron mentioned that's what you two were going to do."

"Yeah, that's what I'd like to do but I'm never taking another class with Snape, no matter what," He firmly stated. "Besides, Tonks is checking to see if that's a real requirement or if there's something else I can do. I may be able to get tutored in Potions during Auror training."

"That's an option?" Ron exclaimed. "Oh man, I've already signed up for the slimy git's class."

"Are you sure about this Harry?" Hermione asked intently. "I mean he's awful to you and everything, but this is your dream."

Harry quickly interjected, "No, my dream is to not have some madman trying to kill me every year. Being an Auror is just a career where I'd get paid to learn to stay alive."

Everyone was silent for a moment, due to Harry's comment ruining the mood. Ginny finally spoke up, "What about professional Quidditch? I mean you're good enough already." Ginny caught the way she said this and kind of blushed.

"Thanks Ginny, but you showed last year that you're as good as me. Gryffindor never missed a beat with you playing seeker," Harry said causing Ginny to really blush. "But, I doubt any team would want me with Voldemort still out there. I imagine it would hurt attendance knowing he may decide to blow the place up any moment."

After another minute or so of silence, it was George's voice that interrupted them, "Hey you lot! You can come in now, I think they want to talk about some stuff that children can here."

"He's always rubbing it in that we don't know anything," Ginny angrily said.

"I can't believe you can't get it out of them," Harry said as he was walking with her behind Ron and Hermione.

"I may have to start hexing them," she replied and Harry couldn't tell if she was serious or not. Entering the kitchen, Harry was surprised at all the people still there.

"Hello Harry," Lupin said as Harry passed behind him, following Ron. "Glad to see Tonks got you here ok."

"Told you I wouldn't lose him Remus," Tonks added.

"I trust you had an acceptable summer Harry," Dumbledore said looking directly at him.

Harry thought this was already an improvement over last year. "Yes sir, it was fine."

"I imagine you'll enjoy the last two weeks more though," the old wizard added with a twinkle.

Harry greeted the other people he knew in the room but only glared at Professor Snape, just the same as the Professor was doing to him. After a long uncomfortable pause while the two looked hatefully at each other, Dumbledore's voice got everyone's attention. "I think it would be wise to fill those of you who haven't been attending the meetings in on a few developments. We have agreed it is beneficial to have all of you aware of what is going on."

Harry saw Mrs. Weasley shift uncomfortably, but saw Lupin give a slight smile. "Now, as everyone knows what happened at the end of last term," Dumbledore started and just hearing these words caused the dark feelings Harry had been experiencing this summer to start boiling back up. He tried hard to keep them down as he listened to the headmaster continue. "As unfortunate as that was, it has probably saved countless lives in the wizarding community. Now that Voldemort's return is out in the open, people can prepare and may recognize his attempts to increase his power. If his return was still not widely believed, there is no doubt many more people would die before he did make his presence public."

Harry could tell his friends kept glancing at him, wondering how he would react to all of this. It was all Harry could do to retain his composure. Dumbledore continued, "Now our sources tell us that Voldemort was extremely upset that his plan to steal the prophecy was foiled and his return exposed. He has become even more violent to some of the Death Eaters, who in turn have become more violent during their acts. Now Harry, I've heard you no longer get the Daily Prophet, is that correct?" Harry nodded and Dumbledore continued, "Well then I think we should tell you about some of the attacks Voldemort and his followers have committed since the students will no doubt be talking about them."

Harry heard Mrs. Weasley give an annoyed 'Huff'. "I think I know about most of them already," Harry mumbled causing everyone to stare at him.