Hazel and Fairley: American Witches

Fairley noticed it first. We were in her backyard, talking non-stop with the music blaring. At the moment it was playing Usher. Then she sat up and motioned for me to turn the music off. I did and then waited. Then I heard and saw it too. Out on the street, there were four people in robes talking loudly. We exchanged grins and vaulted over her fence noiselessly, then snuck closer.

"I don't care who tells them, but someone needs to tell them," am man was saying in irritation.

"But they're the first Witches in their family ever and we're not sure if they'll even believe us," a woman defended, just as exasperated. I had had my Orlando binder and it was now clutched in my arms. I dropped it loudly, winced, and all of the four people turned to us at once.

"Way to go, genius," she said under her breath and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Do you need something. I live in this house and you're disturbing the neighborhood peace," I called.

"Neighborhood peace? Half the time the couple walks around making out," she whispered and I giggled. I picked up my binder and thoroughly checked to make sure it was okay. Inside were one hundred sheets of paper and twenty, front to back, were filled with Orlando Bloom in curly script. In the back cover there was a collage but in the front there was one large picture of him with his shirt open and him leaning against a brick wall. I had another binder but it had Legolas's pictures and Legolas's name on ten pages. I was much more devoted to Orlando than Legolas, even though Orlando played Legolas.

"Are you two Ms. Abadi and Ms. Yartnock?" one of them said and I nodded.

"Call us Hazel and Fairley," I replied. "We hate our last names." They ignored the last comment but headed over. Fairley, whose mother had told her everyone was a rapist, shrunk away. They handed a letter to each of us and then walked away. I blinked and they were gone. We exchanged glances and then I started to open it.

"No," she said urgently. "It might have Anthrax."

"Then step away so you don't get it." Then I slit it open with my fingernail and read aloud," Dear Ms. Yartnock, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Due to location inconveniences, this letter arrived late and so you will have to buy all your supplies at Diagon Alley. Go to the bathroom at nearest mall and use that to get there." I looked up.

"This is crazy," she said, dimly.

"This is a little far-fetched. I mean, Harry Potter is just a book," I said, trying to convince myself. She rounded on me.

"A little? You mean TOTALLY AND BARBARICALLY FAR-FETCHED!" I raised my eyebrows.

"And people say I overreact," I muttered and she blushed prettily. Fairley had dark brown hair that looked black. It was unruly and yet pretty. Her eyes were light green, almost the color of green grapes. My hair had been light brown but just the week before I had died it platinum blonde and my eyes are light blue. She took ballet while I took archery. This was in favor of Legolas. I had started it when I was eight. Even then I appreciated a sexy man when I saw one. We both took ballroom dancing and practiced with each other at her house.

"Well, besides all that," she said defensively," what are our parents going to think if we disappear."

"The child's gone. Whoooooooo, now we don't have to change the sheets every morning," I said in my dad's voice, then switched to my mother. "She's gone? I had no bleepin' clue." While Fairley's parents were always there for her, mine were the exact opposite.

We talked about it for a few more minutes then Fairley said," What is Orlando Bloom to you?" The point of this game was to think of unusual ways to express how you felt without saying cliche things like,' I'll give you the moon.' How stupid. What would you want with the moon anyway.

"He's the coffee in my cup, he's the spoon on my saucer," I said. "What does Chad Michael Murray mean to you?" She giggled before replying and that started us on a conversation and we made a top ten list of Hot Guys. Orlando and Chad tied at first. Then came Legolas, then Shane West. Number ten was Severus Snape, my choice. Fairley asked me to explain.

"Well, he's so diabolically British he's sexy," I explained. "He makes you want to find out what his tortured soul hides-"

"Who said he had a tortured soul?" Fairley jumped twenty feet and screamed. Actually, she only bounced and shrieked, but you get the idea. I rested my fingertips on Orlando's forehead before turning around. There was a tall, broad-shouldered man with a hooked nose and...it was Snape. Fairley collapsed into laughter, which I soon joined her in. This was something like the movies, when you're talking about someone totally random and then they're there. Indeed, I glanced around for cameras. We had turned the music back on and a song I liked came on and I snapped at Fairley to shut up. She liked the song too and she understood, somewhat, my passion for music. I had millions of CDs, all strewn over my room in piles.

"So, why are you here?" I asked as the endnotes faded away.

"Since you two failed to show up for your designated time, I was assigned the unfortunate task of fetching you."

"Hazel, don't. He could really be a murderer or a rapist or...or a murderful raper," she said hysterically. I rested my hand on her shoulder and leaned forward.

"Fair?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up." She nodded and buried her face in her hands. "So, what do we do?"