Everything You Are

Chapter Eleven:

She was nearly skipping the entire way back to her dorm, amused at the fact that detention had ended up being the best thing for her in a long time, but her mind still raced. She knew she probably shouldn't have let him kiss her the first time. She was positive she shouldn't have kissed him the second time. She was absolutely sure that she shouldn't have opened up to him and that the way she felt had to be wrong because he was older and a teacher and she was both the Dark Lady AND his student. She also had no idea as to why any of that mattered at the moment. Sirena Lupin was high on emotion for the first time in years, and she liked it.

Severus was slightly lower. Though excited by Sirena, he DID happen to care about the things Sirena had put aside for the moment. He could have killed himself for letting it go that far. All he'd wanted to do was make sure she was ok and then everything flew at him like an elephant from a cannon. Granted, she'd felt absolutely exquisite buried in his arms, and, much to his shock, she knew how to kiss better than most, but she was a student. A 15 year old student whose father had been one of his rivals at school, no less. Not to MENTION the fact that he was already covering up for her, but how would Dumbledore react if he was to find out? Would he try to hurt her again? Most definitely. No... he couldn't let that happen. He was attached now and there would be no easy way to let that go.

Sirena curled into her bed that night feeling as though a weight had been lifted off of her chest. She'd had the feeling before that something was sitting on her ribcage like lead, trying to suffocate her. Now that feeling had not only gone, but had been replaced with the feeling of one of the first true embraces she'd had in a long time. She wiped away a stray tear and burrowed under her covers, drifting off into a deep sleep.

It was too quiet. She was getting very good at pretending she was asleep from lots of practice, but something was too quiet, too still. She peered out from under her eyelashes to look out past the small crack that had been left open in her door. The light was still on, letting her know that her father was still up. She sighed and muttered 'tempus' softly. The clock replied that it was 1:47 in the morning.

"Sirena!" Remus called. "Go to sleep!"

Sirena rolled her eyes and scrunched up into a tight little ball. She was NEARLY asleep when she heard two loud cracks outside. She froze when she realized that it had come from her doorstep.

There was a sharp knock on the door and she could hear her father's footsteps getting up to answer the door...

Sirena shook herself awake before the dream went any further. She shuddered madly. While not knowing exactly where it would have headed, she knew it wouldn't be good. Seeing that it was early morning she decided to get up, rather than try for the much needed sleep. She didn't want to risk dreaming again.

She went to breakfast in the nearly-deserted Great Hall, finding herself to be the only Slytherin besides Draco that had gotten up yet. She smiled half-heartedly up at him and he moved down the table closer to her.

"Why are YOU up so early?"

Sirena shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. How about you?"

"The transfiguration paper due first period," he said, yawning. "I was up all night, but it still needs a few finishing touches."

"The one on animagus transformation? I thought it was pretty easy..."

"Well, you are sort of like an animagus yourself..."

"Not really," she said with a sigh. "I wish it was that simple... I really do. Being half werewolf, to be honest, sucks."

"Why? You transform, right?" Draco asked, taking another piece of toast.

"Sort of," she said, rolling her eyes. "I transform SOMETIMES. Other times I get moody and grow long nails, long hair, and have an intolerable level of bloodlust. Both options are incredibly painful and difficult to deal with."

"So, what's it gonna be next week?" he asked. "Can you tell how bad it's going to be?"

"Not really... but I'm guessing it'll be the second option, as I've had two full transformations in as many months. I'd much rather be an animagus," she yawned. "I don't know... maybe I still can be, someday."

"Maybe... and maybe I should go finish my paper. Have you done yours already?"

She nodded, pulling a roll of parchment out of her bag. "This should help you. Tap it twice, say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,' and ask what you want to know... and have it back to me by the end of class. My entire school career depends on it."

Draco's eyebrows went nearly to the hundred-foot-high ceiling. "Where on earth did you get this?"

"My godfather gave it to me," she said, a slight twinkle in her eye. "He said some crazy guys that went to Hogwarts a long time ago came up with it... watch." She tapped the parchment twice with the tip of her wand and mumbled "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

The paper swirled with what appeared to be a word soup until loopy gold script began to appear on the page.

'Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

are proud to present

THE MAURADER'S ENCYCLOPEDIA'

Sirena smiled and held her wand to the 'encyclopedia'. "Hello again... what do you fellows know about the art of animagus transformation... for my friend Draco, here?"

The map swirled again.

"Mr. Padfoot would like to respectfully register his shock at Ms. Lupin's sudden display of kindness and would further warn her that this is a field we have quite a bit of expertise on."

"Mr. Moony agrees with Mr. Padfoot on the topic of sudden humanity and would care to add that he admires Ms. Lupin's sudden sweet side and hopes for her to extend it throughout her day, as it flatters her well."

"Mr. Wormtail would like to add that Ms. Lupin's kindness could become sickening after awhile and that a few healthy pranks on the defenseless never hurt anyone.... Except the intended victim, of course."

"Mr. Prongs smacks Mr. Wormtail for his sick sense of humor and suggests that the other Marauders hop to giving an explanation to the young Ms. Lupin's friend."

Both Sirena and Draco found the Marauders highly amusing. Draco ran off to finish his essay after reading only a fraction of the lengthy reply, leaving Sirena to herself. She looked up to the high table and noticed her father watching her. She saw his eyes nearly sparkling, before he could turn away, almost embarrassed at having been caught.

Sirena felt the impending auras of a few Slytherin girls that she had no desire to deal with and decided to go back to the dorm. She nodded to Draco, who was plugging away in a corner of the common room, and took a chair by the fire. It wasn't long before she started to nod off, but as soon as she felt herself starting to resign to sleep, she felt a hand on her arm.

"Now, now, Sirena, this isn't the time to be going to sleep... you've got class in about an hour. You'll never be able to get yourself up," Severus mumbled softly.

Her eyes fluttered open lazily. "I was just dozing a bit," she whined.

"Why don't you go get breakfast? You might stay awake better with food in your stomach."

"Already ate," she explained. "I've been up since about 4:45."

Sitting in the chair adjacent to her, he raised an eyebrow. "Why so early?"

"I ...couldn't sleep...?" she offered.

"Really? I should think that detention and all that cleaning would have tired you out enough..." he said, not taking the bait.

She tried not to laugh. "Dreams... odd dream, that's all. I couldn't get myself back to sleep so I figured that I might as well get up."

He nodded. "I had a rather strange dream as well, come to think of it. I stole someone's pet dove and I felt terrible about it. It was almost physically painful, actually...."

Sirena looked at the floor. "You know it's getting bad when you don't think about stealing as something to feel guilty about anymore," she mumbled. "I feel like a bloody hardened criminal."

"Oh, I don't see you like that.," Severus said, causing her to look up. Their eyes locked. "It was your dove, after all."

Sirena's eyes misted over, almost confused. "But a dove is... peace. Innocence..."

"Exactly," he said, standing up. He let out a sigh before she could say any more. "I'll see you later on, Sirena."

She nodded. "Later on, then..." she said, bewildered. She shook her head. "Me? A dove?" she snorted. "Maybe a black cat or a snake, but never a dove. I've never been a dove," she whispered to herself, getting up to get her things for Transfiguration "... and I never will be."