Everything You Are

Chapter Ten:

"Good evening, Sirena."

"Good evening... Professor," she said, hesitating.

"I understand someone skipped Herbology?"

"That would be me."

He raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile. "Would that be because you were late coming back from wherever you went while you were skiving off Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"How EVER did you find that out?" Sirena said, almost sarcastic in her amusement.

"It was a lucky, though somewhat educated, guess," he said, leading her down the steps to the dungeons.

Though a bit wary, Sirena was mildly impressed with how good he was getting at judging her character. "So, exactly how did you come to get the chore of detention with me, Professor?"

He shut the door behind them once they got to the Potions storeroom. "Severus will be fine now that we're in here. I told Sprout that I could use some help cleaning my storeroom and cauldrons and such. No one else was quite as ready to give up a Friday night, save for Filch, but I figured you'd rather not deal with that."

"Quite bloody right! Thank you," she said, smiling with relief.

"No problem," he said, looking at her fondly for a moment. There was an awkward pause and they stood there, eyes locked, waiting to break the silence.

Sirena did, looking away. "Should we start with the cauldrons? This room looks..." it was spotless. "It looks pretty clean."

"Weasley and Granger did it last week," he explained, shrugging. "There are only two or three cauldrons and they're actually not that big..."

"Oh... that should be simple, then," she said, feeling a bit odd for an unknown reason. She felt a stirring in the pit of her stomach which she tried valiantly to ignore as Severus got three partially-filled cauldrons off the small fires burning in the corner. After putting them out, she helped him carry them into the classroom, where there was more space.

Severus put down a few bottles and labels he'd taken with him. "I'm just going to bottle these. We don't need you getting drugged now, do we?"

"Depends," she said, coyly. "What kind of drugs?"

Severus looked at her, raising an eyebrow. "You haven't been doing any Muggle drugs, have you?"

Sirena laughed. "No, those are probably some of the funniest things I've ever seen. At a party I went to, while I was experimenting with Muggle instruments, I met up with a Muggle who was acting as though he'd had about twenty fizzing whizbees."

Severus smiled a bit. "I'm sure it was amusing, however, the effects of these potions will be... slightly less pleasurable if you were to come into contact with them, so I'd advise you to be careful."

"What are they?" Sirena asked as he put on dragon hide gloves and began to fill the bottles.

"One is a weak sleeping potion for Madame Pomfrey. I make that for her regularly, but if you were to ingest it, you'd be out cold for about two hours on contact. Another is a potion for Professor McGonagall and any other Animagus we may come into contact with. It's just a flea prevention potion... very simple, but interacts rather oddly with wolfsbane due to the python fang. You'll want to avoid that one especially. The last one is supposed to be an antidote, but I don't trust it. It was a group project from my third year Gryffindor/Slytherin class and they got into a small fight that ended in throwing slug livers everywhere, so there are probably some extra slug bits in there," he said, shaking his head and tensing slightly at the memory. For a moment, Sirena thought he'd develop an eye twitch, but he relaxed quickly. "That one is better thrown away."

She laughed and brought the largest cauldron, which DID appear to have bits of slug floating in it, over to the sink. "Slug bits? Yuck..." she made a gagging face. "I think I'd rather deal with whatever potion I'd taken, thanks."

"You WOULD!" he said, rolling his eyes. "The only potion you have to worry about is wolfsbane, you lucky brat. Your vampirism outweighs poison, right?"

Sirena's expression fell slightly and she looked to the floor. "Yeah... I think so," she said, softly, an unpleasant memory coming back again.

His eyes searched hers and he bit the inside of his cheek. "I suppose that theory's been tested, hasn't it?" he said, apologetically.

"It has," she mumbled shortly, turning away and going back to scrubbing the slimy liquid out of the cauldron.

"I'm sorry," he said, walking over to her. "I didn't mean..."

"Don't worry about it. You tried your best to stop it, from what I could deduce from dad," she mumbled, scrubbing harder to keep herself from getting upset. Her eyes found his, which looked slightly concerned.

He cupped her face in one hand, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "How did you find out?"

"It's not important," she said, pulling herself away.

"What's wrong, then?" he asked, putting a hand on her back, unable to stop himself.

She put the cauldron down and turned to face him. "I don't like being helpless. I don't like being victimized. I don't want you feeling like you have to take care of me because 'Oh, poor Sirena can't do anything for herself. I have to watch out for her.' I've been screwed over before and one more person is NOT going to make a difference. I can't STAND being pitied. I am a STRONG person and I KNOW what I want and how to get it on my own." She turned away again and sniffed, willing herself not to back down. "I've gone a long way and I'd LIKE to believe I did it on my own..."

"Doesn't it get lonely?"

She looked at him, a wave of expressions wiping over her face. She decided on confusion. "You get used to it, I suppose."

"Terrible sort of thing to get used to" he said softly.

Her expression softened a bit. "Yeah, it is."

Severus nodded, closing the remaining few inches between them. She looked up at him, slightly unsure, but no less comforted. She wrapped her arms around his neck, tentatively, as he held her. He kissed her head, feeling her tense as she tried not to cry. "It's okay to be soft sometimes, you know."

She swallowed hard. "No, it's not. I'm supposed to be strong and tough and cold. I'm the bloody Dark Lady. What the hell would Voldemort say if he was to find me a blubbering mass of nothingness just whimpering into the chest of someone I'm supposed to have ultimate power over?"

"He'd say that you were being foolish," Severus said, truthfully. "He'd probably say you put yourself at risk," he added. He looked down and stroked her hair soothingly. "Then again, every time anyone feels something, they put themselves at risk."

Rather than feeling vulnerable, Sirena felt unusually safe. "Are you at risk?" she asked, moving one hand down to his shoulder.

"Very much so," he replied, catching her lips with his own.

The kiss was gentle, but strong, taking Sirena by surprise. He was aggressive, but not overly so, and Sirena fought back accordingly. They broke apart slowly.

"I shouldn't have done that," he mumbled, a bit apologetic.

"Why not?" she asked. The rare and almost intimidating reality of the innocence in her eyes struck Severus like a knife.

"Because, for all intents and purposes, I am an authority figure and to do that would be taking advantage of my position."

She smiled, a bit amused. "Do you really think I would have let you do that if it wasn't what I wanted?" she bit her lip, her expression going a bit wry. "Furthermore, I believe we both know that I'm almost famous for abusing my authority..."

"Not like this. You were vulnerable and I shouldn't have gone in like that. I'm really sorry."

"I think I just got through saying how I won't be a victim, Severus," she said quietly. "The only thing you did was put me at risk for feeling something"

He paused. "You felt something?"

She nodded. "I think I did... and I think I want to feel it again."

* * * * *

Sirena had kissed Death Eaters before. Many times, in fact, but all of those times had had a distinct purpose. There had been a distinct reason involving her betterment or something that she would get out of it. Each of those kisses could have been easily explained away as a seduction technique to get her way, and at 15 years old, with the body of a full grown, if not slightly petite, vampire, the technique worked well.

She had no way to explain Severus.