My Last Breath

When Harry came back to school in his fifth year, I knew he needed me. I thought he knew, too, until Cho Chang walked into our compartment. He blushed through the coating of stinksap and I realized that while he knew he needed someone, he didn't think it was me. I'm not trying to be selfish. I know what other girls are like, and Harry doesn't need any of them. They are totally dependant, and he needs someone to lean on, not someone to support. As I predicted, Cho only added to his troubles, until, finally, they broke up. Harry never noticed, but as soon as he broke up with Cho, I broke it of with Michael. Don't get me wrong. I made the same mistake that he did, trying to fill my life with someone that didn't belong with me. I'm no hypocrite.

Those were my thoughts as I sat on the edge of the lake on a frosty October night, during the Halloween feast that I was supposed to be attending. No one in their right mind would have skipped the feast that year. Enchanted Jack-O-Lanterns floated around the Great Hall, rotating lazily around the perimeter. Multicolored leaves drifted gently down from the cloudy, steely gray ceiling, making the floor look like a Van Gogh painting. It was a truly beautiful sight.

I heard footsteps behind me. Ron. I thought, He must have seen me leave the feast.

"Why aren't you off snogging Hermione?" I asked, not bothering to turn around.

"Because Hermione is Ron's girlfriend."

His voice made me start. I turned around, grinning.

"Sorry, Harry. Thought you were Ron, trying to drag me back into the feast."

"I decided to leave by myself, after nearly eating a leaf that dropped onto my plate, then being clobbered by one of the pumpkins on my way out."

I laughed softly. "Really, what brings you out here?"

He sighed heavily. "I don't know. I guess I just needed to think."

I looked back at him and smiled, saying nothing. He grinned back and sat down next to me. We sat in silence for a while, my mind reeling, trying to figure out what to say, and desperately trying to keep myself from laying my head upon his shoulder, of worse, attacking him from behind and snogging him senseless.

I breathed in deeply. "Er..."

He looked sideways at me, then began to speak. "How was your summer?"

My summer. Right. Good topic. "Hectic. Percy came home for dinner one night, just walked right in the door and sat down." I paused to observe his reaction.

He made an incredulous noise. "He what?!"

"Yeah! He just walked right in and sat down, and the whole family except Charlie was there, and we all looked at each other until Bill said, 'Welcome home, Percy.'. Just like that! I could tell Ron wasn't too happy about it, nor the twins, and I can tell you I was just dumbfounded, but... sorry, I'm rambling on again. How was your summer?"

"It was okay." He looked as though he'd rather not talk about it.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Another silence fell.

"Did you want to talk about it?" I was surprised at how strong my voice sounded.

He shook his head, but the look in his eyes told me differently.

"I'm listening."

He went on to say how empty his life felt with out Sirius. How he cried himself to sleep every night, how he wondered how Lupin could handle it all. Somewhere, I detected that he had felt something missing before Sirius died. And as he spoke, I felt his pain. When he spoke of something with anger, I felt I wanted to find Wormtail right then and there and rip his heart out. When he reminisced in memories of him and Sirius, I felt the aching happiness his memories brought. When tears began to well in his eyes, they poured down my cheeks. When he finished, he just looked at me. We were both a mess.

Then he reached forward and pulled me into an embrace. We just held on to each other for a while, until he pulled away and looked me in the eye.

"Now it's your turn."

I poured my feelings back into him. How I felt shoved aside by all of my brothers, weak, worthless, stupid. How I felt when I found out about Tom. How he used me for evil, polluting my one perfection. My innocence. How I feared Malfoy and his hangers-on. How I felt cowardly whenever he was near. How--I felt about him. I could see his green eyes widen when I told him what I had been thinking right before he came.

We just looked at each other, tears streaming down both our faces.

And then we sealed our fate. One kiss, that was all. One innocent, loving, perfect, deadly kiss. And it almost killed us both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I remember when Malfoy cornered me on my way to the Common Room. I saw him coming out of the corner of my eye and sped up. I don't know what I was thinking, because he caught up with me anyway.

"Going somewhere, Weasley? Off to collect your precious Potter? Hmm. I thought you'd gotten over him ages ago..."

"Sod off, Malfoy," I snapped, trying desperately to clear my mind, ready to do battle.

"Saw you two snogging on the grounds on Halloween. I'm surprised you can talk at all, his tongue must have been touching your large intestine..."

"I SAID SOD OFF, MALFOY!"

"C'mon, Ginny." Harry walked up behind me

Malfoy's pale eyes narrowed. "Ah, Prince Potty had finally come to rescue his damsel in distress."

I could literally see Harry swallow his desire to hammer Malfoy into a pulp. "You're jealous, Malfoy. You're jealous because, I, unlike you, have a girlfriend who doesn't resemble a cross between a mad pug and a deer tick."

I watched in awe as Malfoy's normally pale, pointed face became confused and took on a delicate pink shade that had been my favorite color until that particular point in time.

"Blaise isn't my girlfriend."

Harry and I burst into gales of uncontrollable laughter until we managed to drag ourselves back into the Common Room, leaving Malfoy dumbfounded in the corridor.

That was the best year of my life. Oh, how it pains me to think of it.

Seventh year changed everything. We exchanged letters throughout the summer, and the time came for us to take him back to the Burrow. Home. My home. The home that could have been Harry's if things had turned out the way they should have.

Ron took to Harry and I being an "item" right away. In fact, he seemed to think that he had set us up. Everything was going according to "plan". Harry had me, Ron had Hermione. True love. It lasts forever, but nothing gold can stay. I was to learn that all too soon.

Dark forces were gathering. Voldemort was going to strike. Soon. Most of the Death Eaters had escaped from Azkaban, and the very few that remained were under ridiculously heavy guard. We would need those Aurors before the war ended, that was for certain. We were all beginning to wish Dumbledore were Minister of Magic, rather than Fudge the Stupid. I wonder if that is what they will call him in History of Magic classes in the years to come...

Fudge had been brought back to earth with a bump, that was for certain. However, he was horribly slow and hesitant to ready an army for the War we all knew was coming.

Sixth year started off with a forced calm. Tension frothed beneath the surface, but everyone pretended like it was just another year at Hogwarts. Harry and I sat in the common room late at night, gazing into the fire. We tried to act as we did in the previous year, hopelessly, carelessly in love, but it was not to be. Harry was to play a major part in something that we all knew had to happen this year. I knew it was to affect my life, but I never could have guessed how much.

The façade ended only the day Death Eaters appeared on the grounds.

At first, we were all ordered to stay inside at all times, and everything went on as usual. Then, a student was found dead in the corridor. Michael Corner. Poisoned. I was in shock for a week.

We all knew that this was real when Michael's body was found, face twisted in agony, in that hallway. We readied ourselves for a battle.

The Defense Association met in the Room of Requirement daily, accompanied by almost all of the school. Even some Slytherins came, Blaise Zabini, and some first and fifth years, but most sulked in their common room. We learned how to brew a potion that would make our food glow if poisoned, along with every jinx, hex, and curse they had a name for. We were ready, or so we thought. None of those people had been up against the most evil being of all time, save for Harry.

Death Eaters gained entry in January. We suspected that they had some inside help from the Slytherins. Namely Malfoy. They climbed in through the windows and walked down the corridor, killing whoever was in sight, but silently. I saw them from my secret hiding place behind a statue where I go to write, and ran to alert Dumbledore. We assembled the DA and went after the Death Eaters.

We split up and followed them through secret passageways. I was with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, and Luna. Every so often, we would take out a Death Eater from behind, using a Stunner or the Full Body-Bind. The marching ranks of killers never turned around. We would then drag the immobilized men into where ever we were hiding, and start off again.

I no longer remember the details of the battle. Just that eventually, it scaled into a full out, head-to-head war that lasted for days. The grounds were littered with student, teacher, and Death Eater bodies. We were learning to kill. Draco Malfoy was dead after the second day. He went after Harry. Ron killed him. I watched.

Neville went after Bellatrix Lestrange near the lake, and cornered her. She backed further and further into the lake, wand smashed, Neville wounded near death but still fighting. She found herself in too deep. She couldn't swim. She drowned. Neville was taken to the hospital wing, fighting death for the rest of the battle.

Aurors didn't arrive until the third day. Thanks a lot, Fudge. Already, a quarter of our forces were dead, another quarter mortally wounded and out of commission. 98 students total.

Thirty Aurors arrived, and we were again even with the Death Eater forces. We fought, we died, they killed, they tortured, they died. I tried to send Mum an owl telling her Ron and I were still alive, still fighting. Pigwidgeon's shredded body arrived by way of another owl.

Five days we fought. On the sixth, Voldemort arrived. We didn't stand a chance. I remember fighting some random Death Eater, Harry running past me... Voldemort behind him. Harry ducking spells. I killed that man, shoved him straight out the second story window onto the frozen, unforgiving January ground. Then I went after Harry.

Two wands, snapped on the floor. Harry pinned against the wall, Voldemort on the other die of the Room of Requirement, ready to throw a dagger he had yanked off the wall of the room.

I don't know what I was thinking. All I knew was that Harry was in danger, Harry could die if I didn't do something. The dagger flew. He couldn't miss...

I dived in front of Harry, a spur-of-the-moment attempt to save his life. It worked. The cold, steel blade of the dagger penetrated my skin, just below my ribs. The hilt sticking out of me. I fell heavily onto the floor. I couldn't see, the pain blinded me--

Harry took one glance down at me and was on Voldemort, both weaponless. Against the wall. My mind grew hazy... if only... we needed... if Voldemort fell...

Quite suddenly, there was no wall. Voldemort fell through space. The fall could have killed anyone, but not Voldemort. Harry knew this, and he threw every weapon in sight down, down, to puncture the Dark Lord's body. Was he dead?

"Dead?"

Harry turned his attention back to me, lying on the floor. He slid over, put my head in his lap. It felt wonderful, me looking up at him bending over me. Green eyes, black hair, sweat in his eyes.

"I don't think so. Not yet."

Hold on to me now

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid

And that was when he saw it. The dagger hilt, just below my ribcage, soaking my robes with my blood. "Ginny, you shouldn't have done that. Ginny?"

I grasped a feeling through the pain, the room around me growing dimmer. I was dying. That was it. A tear rolled down my cheek.

"I--love you, Harry."

"I know, Ginny. I know. It'll be alright. You'll see. We can take you to the infirmary..."

"No, Harry. I'm dying."

"Ginny... You're not dying. You're going to be fine. Stop it."

I almost laughed. "I am, Harry. But you were right. It'll be okay. Do you love me?"

Harry made no reply. He stared at the now whole wall that Voldemort had fallen out of.

"Harry?"

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you?

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

"Please tell me you'll keep fighting, Harry. Okay? For me? I'll miss you, Harry. I really will. I'll miss a lot of things. Like Mom, and Dad, and my brothers... tell them I died well, okay, Harry?"

Harry was silent.

I'll miss the winter

A world of fragile things

Look for me in the white forest

Hiding in a hollow tree

(come find me)

Something wet on my cheek. Salty. Harry's tears.

I know you hear me

I can taste it in your tears

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you?

Sweet raptured light

It ends here tonight

Harry closed his eyes.

"Ginny? Ginny, I love you, too. Ginny?"

Closing your eyes to disappear

You pray your dreams will lead you here

But still you awake and know the truth

No ones there

Everything was fading. All I could see was Harry's green, green eyes, suspended in darkness. They faded, and I felt like screaming Harry's name. I was leaving him, I didn't want to leave him, he needed me... nothingness. Was this the way it was going to be?

My mind cleared, Harry swam into view. I smiled. He smiled. I closed my eyes and slid once again into that terrible, fathomless darkness. Then light. Blessed light.