Music of the Night

Dedicated once again to the incomparable Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, whose latest production reminded me why I fell in love with music in the first place.

Music of the Night

Chapter 10: An Island of Trepidation

James stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robes and made his way down the hallway to the Hospital Wing. Remus was there again this morning, a result of yet another full moon.

James sighed. He hated visiting Remus on occasions like this. Not because he didn't enjoy spending time with Remus, quite the opposite; he just couldn't bear the thought that of all the people a wild and merciless werewolf might have chosen to bite, Remus had been the selected victim. James scowled and kicked a small piece of rubble lying in front of his foot. It bounced off of the stone wall a short distance away from his toe.

Why should such terrible things have to happen to incredible people, people like Remus who possessed such unadulterated goodness? Apparently, even the righteous were not immune to committing the gross sin of being bitten, the sentence to eternal damnation, the anxious anticipation of three nights of hell, the pain of self-inflicted wounds, the subjugation of one's very own soul...

And then Remus would awaken from his living nightmare with deeply cut gashes freshly bleeding across his shoulders, glistening like perverted gemstones, and the stretch of time between nightfall and the reawakening would manifest itself in the form of an ubiquitous hole. James couldn't fathom the depth of Remus's strength. What would it feel like to have several hours of life erased from memory?

James felt himself bristling up the back of his hair in agitation. The Marauders' monthly excursions had never bothered him quite so much before. Yes, his best friend had that goddamn lycanthropy, yes, he had been forced to relinquish the Head Boy position that had been his right to claim, and yes, the full moon could bring woes only the most desperate could imagine. But that had been it.

But now any bright sides had to dissolve into flimsy dust because that sociopath who called himself the Dark Lord was wreaking pain and havoc on even more of the undeserving. Peaceful, innocent lifelines were being pulled into crude knots before they became so brittle and worn that they broke into helpless fragments.

James broadened his shoulders and raised his head with a mark of innate defiance. Well that lunatic sure as hell wouldn't break him.

He stopped in front of the doors to the Hospital Wing, straightened his tie and attempted to smooth down his hair. His body fluidly slid into the swift gait of relaxed authority he had come to don, and as he entered the room, he realized that this was probably about the time of day that Lily sometimes volunteered as Madame Pomphrey's assistant. The last time he had met Lily in the Hospital Wing had been after the night of Padfoot's unexplainable violence, back when she had still been calling him "Mr. Potter." James gave a wry grin. He had come a long way; he had to hand it to himself.

It turned out that Lily was, in fact, doing hospital duty at that time, and she happened to be tending to Remus, who appeared to be sleeping. When James had pulled back the curtain enclosing Remus's bed, he had seen a mass of dark red curls and had felt a fleeting sense of excitement. But then it turned sour when he saw that she was gently applying a salve to the wounds on Remus's upper chest and shoulders.

He didn't know why he should care, really. She wasn't his girlfriend, and if previous attempts on his part were any indication, she never would be. Besides, he had only first realized that he might like her a bit more than was wise a few days earlier. And he still hadn't told a soul.

He plastered what he hoped was a mildly surprised look on his face and tapped her on the shoulder, making her jump a few inches in the air.

"Oh, hi, James," she said a hushed voice. "You scared me there."

"Sorry." He pulled up a chair on the other side of the bed and glanced at Remus. "How's he doing?"

"No worse than usual. He really does have a rather weak immune system, doesn't he?" She resumed applying the salve. "Do you know if he's ever been tested for anemia? It might explain the bruising." She glanced up quickly out of the corner of her eye before turning away once again.

James shrugged. "I couldn't really say. It's not like I ask him about his medical history or anything. Not really my concern, is it?" He hoped she would take the subtle hint to change the topic of conversation. He knew himself well; if she kept goading him, he would likely say something incriminating and betray Remus's secret. That is, assuming that Lily hadn't already figured it out. Which she very well might have.

He studied her profile, examining for signs of acknowledgement. But all that he saw was a brow narrowed in concentration over those abnormally long lashes and the wizened eyes that he couldn't read for the life of him. What was it about her face that looked so knowledgeable and mature, and yet so innocent at the same time?

Worried that she would catch him staring at her, he let his eyes wander to watch as her fingers gently smoothed down a patch of gauze onto one of Remus's cuts. Her wrists were so delicate and narrow, he reckoned he could snap each of them in two; attached to the wrists were equally small hands. But her fingers were long and almost unnaturally skeletal, though they still worked with a quick and purposeful grace.

James narrowed his eyes. "Do you always rub stuff on the patients' chests?"

"Only on the ones who need it." The corners of her lips turned faintly upward. "Why? Jealous, Potter?"

For once it was a good thing that Lily rarely looked directly at him while she spoke. Otherwise she would have seen the brief flush that overtook his cheeks for a moment. "Definitely," he said casually. "You're better than Madame Pomphrey any day."

He grinned as she looked up at him. "She prods too much," he added.

Lily raised her left eyebrow in a crooked arch. "Nice save."

"Thank you. I thought so too."

She rolled her eyes slightly. "You're being prat-like, Potter." But her voice lacked the sarcastic edge she had come to use around him in years past. If anything, she now sounded vaguely amused.

"Yes, well, I think I've been so good these past few weeks that I deserve a little break." He showily ruffled his hair a bit to make a point.

She wrinkled her nose. "I hate it when you do that. Makes you look messy."

"What," he asked in mock indignation, "I'm not allowed to look messy?"

"No. You're Head Boy. You're supposed to be prim, proper, and ready to be professionally photographed at a moment's notice."

"Snape's been a Prefect for three years and he's been allowed to get away with looking greasy. I'd think I'm allowed to look messy. It's not nearly as nauseating."

She looked up through those long lashes. "Well, I don't think Severus has control over the oil levels of his hair. You, on the other hand, need an iron."

James scrunched his eyebrows together. "A what?"

Lily shook her head. "Muggle device. Which reminds me." She brought out a rucksack from beside her chair and unearthed what appeared to be an overly large textbook. With visible effort, she gave it to James; he felt his hands sink beneath its weight.

"It was the largest physics textbook I could find in my collection." She touched a finger thoughtfully to her chin. "So now you could teach me everything and I'll be able to go back home and dazzle my father with my incomparable genius."

James looked up briefly for a moment and grinned. "That was prat-like, Evans."

"Just wanted to see if you'd catch it."

He ran his hands over the smooth binding and flipped through the pages a bit. "Thanks," he said breathily. As he passed over diagrams and pictures he realized that he had absolutely no idea what any of it was about, but he was more than anxious to find out.

He could practically feel the radiation beaming from his cheeks.

Lily tilted her head to the side with a slight half-smile. "I thought you'd be excited, but I've never seen anything quite like that expression on your face."

James raised his eyebrows. "And what's that?"

"You're positively enraptured." She smiled. "What is it about an old physics book that makes you look as though you've fallen in love for the first time?"

James couldn't stop grinning. "It's just...did you ever feel like you wanted to know everything?"

"No, certainly not everything."

"You know what I mean." He pulled the book into his chest and met Lily's gaze. "Like you want to uncover every secret and every mystery. Like just knowing one thing more will give you a sudden...epiphany or - or - insight that could change your perspective on life?"

She didn't answer, and her expression turned to one of pensiveness, just as it usually did when she took an opportunity to transform a simple question into a matter of philosophical pondering. "You don't think that some things are best left unexplored? That maybe ignorance might be bliss?"

James shrugged. "Yeah, but there's a price to everything in life, isn't there? Personally, I'd rather take the risk."

Lily lowered her eyes. "Yes, you would, wouldn't you?"

But although her question was rhetorical, it seemed to James to speak fathoms of depth, as though she was encapsulating myriad thoughts and convictions into one small statement. The bright lights of the Hospital Wing were accentuating the coppery strands dancing about the crown of her head, and her dazzlingly green eyes looked up for an instant, flashing with recognition. James felt once again a quick intake of breath, and he doubted he would be able to tear his gaze from hers ever again, when he felt a dull heat spread on his outer thigh.

He jumped slightly, but then realized what it was.

"Ah," he said, forcing his eyes away. "That'll be Sirius." He pulled one of the heavy Mirrors out of his pocket. "He said he'd come by as soon as he finishes his detention."

Lily arched an eyebrow. "Detention again?"

"Er...You probably don't want to know." He shrugged and knocked a knuckle lightly on the glass. "Yup, Padfoot, I'm here."

Sirius's face swam into focus. A streak of polish was smeared across his left cheek and his forehead was dotted with tiny beads of sweat. Yet he didn't really seem to mind all that much. "Prongs, is Moony up yet?"

James glanced at Remus. He was in a rather awkward sleeping position, but his eyes were still closed. "Nah, doesn't look like it."

"Great, I get out of detention in a few. I'll swing by the kitchens on my way to visit. You want anything special? Think Moony'll want anything special? Don't really want anything special but you want to add to our stock under Wormtail's bed?"

James was about to answer when Lily gave a small cough.

Sirius grinned. "Ah, got female company, I hear? Out with it, Prongs. Who's the lady?"

James smirked. "Lily."

Sirius looked taken aback. Clearly he had been expecting someone a bit more exciting. At least by his standards. "Well, by all means, then." He snapped his fingers suddenly as though he had just remembered something important. "You know I never thanked her for these contraptions?"

"Er, yeah, Padfoot. That's what makes you rude."

"Hmm. Good to know if I ever feel the need to care. Give her the Mirror."

James shrugged and handed it to Lily. "He wants to talk to you."

Lily arched her eyebrow skeptically and pursed her lips. "So I've heard." She lowered her face. "Hi, Sirius," she drawled.

"Lillikins!" James heard Sirius's voice boom from the mirror. It was odd, hearing his best friend as a disembodied voice. "I must thank thee most profusely for thy unparalleled assistance in developing these highly coveted Mirrors!"

Lily winced visibly. "Your Shakespeare imitations are pathetic, Sirius. Now why are you in detention again?"

"Surely my Great Lady, with her glorious Titian locks and splendorous-"

"Sirius," Lily cut him off sharply, yet with a vaguely entertained air. "Why are you in detention again?"

Sirius sounded indignant. "Well, not that it's any of your concern-"

"Sirius..."

"Oh, all right," he said huffily. James had to suppress gales of laughter. The hold Lily had on his best friend was oddly hysterical, partly because of the way Lily simply had to menacingly cock an eyebrow upward to make him scared stiff, and partly because even after these past few weeks, Sirius still found her intimidating.

James heard Sirius let out a loud breath of air. "My deed was done with good intentions, Lily, honest. I was in an empty classroom, helping out that First Year Charlie Bastion and his buddies with Levitation. It just so happened that when I did the wand motion, Professor Emory was walking by and his - ah - hairpiece got the brunt of the Charm."

That was most likely a cue for Sirius to sheepishly grin or affect an innocent cherub-like expression. James saw Lily's lip twitch slightly. "When I made the motions for the inter-grade mentoring program, that's hardly what I had in mind."

"Ah, yes," Sirius said wisely, "but it takes a true innovator to expand upon original plans."

Lily sighed. "You're hopeless, Sirius."

"That I am. You want anything from the kitchens?"

Lily just rubbed her head and gave the Mirror back to James. "I honestly cannot understand how you live with him without going prematurely gray."

James ruffled his hair. "I've got it down to a science." In the Mirror, Sirius scowled. "Oh," James added, "bring me a pastrami sandwich, would you?"

"Make that two, " came a voice next to them, making both Lily and James jump in their seats. Apparently, Remus had been awake and listening.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius called, "is that you?"

"Yeah," James said. "So you better hurry back quick."

"Right-O," was the response. And then all that was reflected in the Mirror was a wide-eyed James Potter, hair slightly messier than usual.

He put the Mirror back in his pocket and then looked up to find Remus politely looking back at him. James raised his eyebrows in subtle questioning, but received no visible answer. He shrugged and turned to Lily.

She zipped up her bag and swung it over her shoulder as she stood up, straightening her shoulders to her regal height. "I'll leave you two, then," she said curtly without meeting either of the boys' gazes. "Feel better, Remus."

"Wait," James said, catching himself before he reached out his hand to grab her arm. "Erm," he said stupidly. Why had he even wanted her to stay a few moments longer anyway? And now she was standing there, casually shaking back that magnificent head of hair as though she knew that he was fumbling for words. "I'll...see you in Hogsmeade tomorrow?"

Lily nodded. "Sure. I'll be going with some of the girls. I need to get some new robes anyway." She gave a small self-deprecatory smile. "It appears that I've grown a bit since the last time I went on a shopping spree."

James blinked. "Alright then." He felt somewhat disappointed for a moment. "I'll see you."

After she closed the curtain behind her, James turned to Remus, who was regarding him with an obvious smirk.

James narrowed his eyes. Remus never smirked. "What?" he asked cautiously.

Remus just looked back with that same knowing smile. He tilted his head to the side as if he were debating whether or not to speak. "I really should ask you the same thing."

"What's that supposed to mean?" James spat out, slightly more belligerently than he had intended.

"What do you think it means, Prongs?" He blinked innocently in a way that for some reason made James very aggravated.

"You're pushing my nerves, Moony. You're lucky you're in a hospital bed."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Defensive, hmm?"

"Of course not," James shot back, feeling the back of his neck growing steadily warmer. "Why would I be defensive?"

"That's a good question. Why would you be defensive?"

James wrung his hair in his hands. "Is there a point to this interrogation?"

"Absolutely. You like Lily Evans," Remus stated.

James opened his mouth wordlessly and then shut it. "I do not."

"Sure you do."

James was about to respond when he realized that there was simply no point. No matter how much he emphatically insisted that he had no feelings for Lily Evans whatsoever, Remus would keep emphatically insisting that James was a pathetic liar. And though he was a bit loath to admit it, James knew that that was true.

He let out a small groan. "All right, fine. Why do you always have to know everything anyway?"

"Because I spend a lot of time pretending to be unconscious."

James snorted.

"Fine," Remus amended. "Because you aren't exactly subtle."

James felt his eyes widen. "You don't think that - she - doesn't-"

"No, I'm sure Lily has no idea," Remus reassured him, reading his mind. He shifted slightly on his pillows. "You know, for someone so perceptive she is completely clueless sometimes."

James felt slightly relieved, but just looked up grimly and wrung his fringe in his hands.

"Hey," said Remus consolingly, "this isn't the end of the world, you know." He shrugged. "It might even be good."

James laughed bitterly. "Just like the last time, eh?"

He shook his head. Yeah, the last time had been fabulous. He'd bared his feelings out in the open, and she had managed to shove them in his face after spitting on his personality. Granted, she didn't feel nearly the same way about him anymore, but any unwarranted advances toward Lily Evans would be an invasion of her privacy. And if experience had taught him anything, he was completely positive that Lily didn't want anything of the sort. She just wasn't the type of girl to flirt or indulge a crush. Should she find out, she would likely stay away from him at all costs. He didn't know why Lily was the way she was, and he was still trying to find out, but he was at least certain of that much.

So for now, James was just going to play it cool. Act like nothing was any different than it had been a week ago, talk and act around Lily as though everything was hunky dory, and hopefully this fanciful infatuation would simply melt away.

"You know what?" James said resignedly. "I've got to go mope a bit."

He stood up and smoothed down his robes.

"When Padfoot comes..."

"Yeah, clue him in," James said bitterly. "But personally, I'd rather not be here when he laughs at me."

"Prongs, you're really making a much bigger deal out of this than-" He stopped when James shot him an ugly glare of warning. "Yeah, I'll let him know."

James gruffly nodded in thanks and walked quickly out of the Hospital Wing in the direction of Gryffindor Tower; he was suddenly in desperate need of a good fly around the Quidditch Pitch.

* * *

Before Lily had come to Hogwarts, October 31^st had been merely another chilly autumn day of falling leaves and dropping temperatures. Her family had never been very religious, nor had they ever been inclined to celebrate commonly recognized holidays. In fact, the most notable days of the year were those such as July 7, 1977, when her father would wake them up at precisely seven in the morning to celebrate 7/7/77 with a tremendous plate of 7-inch pancakes.

So she always found a Hogwarts Halloween to be particularly exciting, if not only for its newness then for its distinctly magical flavor. After all, where else would anyone find live bats fluttering overhead during dinner or be startled by talking jack-o-lanterns? It was times like these that made Lily exceptionally proud and awe-stricken that she was able to partake in such a miraculous occasion.

Lily smiled appreciatively and looked around the Great Hall, still a bit in limbo while it was being set up for the feast. She had spent the better part of her morning coordinating carriages that took the older students to Hogsmeade. Due to the influx of hundreds of additional students from Beauxbatons, the process took much longer than usual, even with Lily and James helping the faculty take extra security precautions and make sure adequate transportation was available - though for the latter job Lily stood slightly on the sidelines to avoid any contact with the dreaded Thestrals.

And now she was in the Great Hall, helping Professor Flitwick bewitch the portraits to cackle madly every hour on the hour. Though she had been mildly looking forward to spending the entire morning in Madame Malkin's with Thalia insistently trying to her force her to try on frilly pink dress robes though Lily had always emphatically held that redheads shouldn't wear pink, she still enjoyed the company of Professor Flitwick, who absolutely loved recounting tales of his adventurous youth. If for nothing else, Lily liked his nostalgic moments for the imagery they provided. Whenever he would tell of his exploits as a dueling champion, she would have fleeting visions of a pint-sized teenager scuttling around his much taller, much for formidable-looking opponent, who could do nothing but stand still as he tried to aim his spells at the blur whizzing around him.

"...tried to Disarm me, but a quick Confuddlement Curse had him attack the duel instructor instead, who found himself suddenly missing his moustache," Professor Flitwick piped as he carved out a maniacal grin onto a pumpkin. Lily smiled lightly.

"Oh, dear," said Flitwick, looking in front of the stool he was standing on. "We seem to be out of pumpkins. Would you mind running down to Hagrid's and getting some more?"

Lily smiled subtly and nodded and headed toward the entrance of the Great Hall, passing James, whose head was invisible, submerged in a tremendous vat.

"All right, Potter?" she asked calmly, a mischievous smirk threatening to show.

James, hair even more untidy than usual, lifted his head, covered in a sticky liquid. He smacked his lips together. "That sounds familiar."

Lily raised her eyebrow at his suspicious appearance.

James threw out his hands. "What? I wanted to make sure that when everyone went bobbing for apples the syrup would taste decent. I was performing a service to the general public."

"Oh," said Lily wryly. "How very noble of you."

"Why, thank you," he said graciously. "I thought so too."

Lily shook back her hair. "I'll excuse you then so you can continue your exemplary work. I'm on a quest for pumpkins."

James stared blankly for a moment with an odd, far-off look in his eye before blinking and wiping some syrup away from his mouth. "Yeah, sure..." He coughed and grinned weakly. "I'll see you later then. Hogsmeade, right?"

Lily inclined her head for what felt like the twentieth time that day and walked out of the Great Hall, pondering James's strange and fickle behavior.

Ever since the two of them had been summoned to Professor Dumbledore's office that fateful evening a little over a week earlier, James's attitude had taken a subtle, yet distinctly apparent turn. Lily had thought it impossible for him to be any more determined than he already had been, but he had once again proven her assumptions wrong.

It was probably this knowledge that puzzled her more than anything else. As far as she could remember, Lily Evans had never been in doubt about any character that she cared to analyze. She could usually observe someone's body language and facial expressions and arrive at conclusions that were almost always fairly accurate. But with James...

Frankly, Lily didn't quite know what to think anymore. A few weeks earlier she had pinpointed James's characteristics exactly, or so she had thought. Now he always seemed to be deliberately eluding and confusing her, speaking forthrightly and cryptically at the same time, and avoiding looking at her for long periods of time, as though he would be burned by her presence, despite his liking for spending time with her.

Lily opened the castle door and headed for Hagrid's hut, shivering slightly as a brisk autumn wind blew by. As she pulled her robes around her body she recalled her conversation with James a few days earlier, when he had casually offered her his cloak.

She had seen him before he had touched down to the ground, had watched him glide through the air in soaring loops, breaking the rigid gait of authority he had recently slipped into and replacing it with a blithe grace. He seemed to be a living dichotomy of responsible adult and carefree youth, a melding of a military sergeant and Peter Pan.

Leaves crunched beneath her feet as she walked along the path, and her thoughts were only interrupted by Hagrid's loud greeting.

"Is tha' Lily Evans?" he yelled from the pumpkin patch growing in front of his house. "Haven' seen you in a while now!"

"I'm sorry, Hagrid," she said, coming up to the thick, fruitful vines. "Things have been...complicated."

"Ah, well," he said without grudge. "Yeh've got a lot on yer plate now, I'd expect." He rose and clapped some dirt off of his hands, spraying it in all directions. "Reckon yeh can handle another?"

Lily squinted. "What was that?"

"If yeh don' mind, Dumbledore asked me to show yeh summat in the fores'."

"Oh," said Lily, puzzled. "Well, then, of course I'll come."

"Eh, knew yeh would," he said jauntily as he swung his crowbar over his shoulder and headed for the forest. "I told Dumbledore meself that he's got in yeh one o' th' most loyal students he could ask for."

Lily stumbled slightly. "Thank you, Hagrid," she said distractedly. It was hard to concentrate on what he was saying when that crowbar glistened so menacingly in the orangey sunlight.

As they headed to the forest, Lily's anxieties heightened slightly. She had always enjoyed speaking with Hagrid because the simple and child-like joy he brought to ordinary things was unparalleled. But she couldn't forget his little obsession with all things frightening and murderous, and at times like this, when she was being lead into the Forbidden Forest by a giant man wielding a crowbar, it was hard to put all of Hagrid's redeeming qualities at the forefront of her mind.

They came to a sudden stop just in front of a small clearing, relatively close to the edge of the forest. Thankfully they weren't very deep in, so whatever it was that Hagrid needed to show her probably wasn't exceptionally dangerous.

Hagrid glanced around a bit. "Yup, this is th' place. I'll jus' give her a call now..." He cupped his mouth with massive hands and let out a surprisingly sweet whistle.

Nothing happened for a moment, and then Lily let out a gasp as a pearly white eye blinked from within a small shrub, staring straight at her. She brought her hand to her open mouth as a golden head bearing a single horn emerged from the bush. Hagrid beamed.

"Hagrid, is that-"

"A unicorn!" Hagrid said with pride. "Beau'iful, she is, no?"

"Beautiful doesn't even begin to describe..." The unicorn stepped cautiously out of the bush and took a tentative step toward Lily, peering up at her through pale, shy eyes.

"I'll reckon she'll let yeh touch her if yeh'd like," said Hagrid suddenly, although for the moment, Lily had forgotten he was there.

She stretched out a palm and slowly reached out, stroking the fur of the unicorn's neck. She felt a surge of electricity course through her veins, as though she was suddenly imbued with liquid purity. "Hagrid?" she asked absently. "Why did you want me to see her?"

"Well," said Hagrid, as he began gathering together some oddly shaped twigs. "Tha's a long story, tha' is. But in short, both 'er parents were killed by summat in the fores'. Maybe another creature, I dunno. But Dumbledore's been thinkin' there's trouble brewin' in the deeper parts. An' this poor thing'll be all alone with no one t' fend fer it."

The unicorn licked Lily's palm. "So," she said slowly, comprehending. "You want me to take care of it?"

"Well, 'twas Dumbledore tha' suggested it. Yer not expected ter feed 'er or anythin', jus' come by and visit 'er a few times a week to sit with her. Y'know, so's she knows she's bein' cared for."

Lily's eyes narrowed. "Dumbledore chose me specifically?"

Hagrid coughed and fumbled a bit with his twigs. "Yeah...yeah. Tha's right."

"But I'm not exactly qualified for this type of responsibility. I'm very flattered and pleased, of course, but wouldn't you or Professor Kettleburn be better suited?"

Hagrid coughed again, this time a bit more roughly, and out of the corner of her eye, Lily could have sworn that a slight blush passed over his face. "Abou' tha," he said awkwardly. "Unicorns, they like girls better, see? And it's better if the girls are younger...so they aren' so...old." She looked up, but he deliberately avoided her gaze.

Inwardly, she smirked a bit. Of course that's what it was. Only individuals who were "untainted" were able to touch, and sometimes even approach a unicorn, she remembered reading. Well, here's to Hogwarts' oldest and most responsible virgin, she thought wryly.

She looked up as though nothing uncomfortable had happened. "I'd be honored."

Hagrid let out a breath. "Tha's...tha's good." He nodded and then smiled, bending down to gather some more twigs. "I'll be tellin' Dumbledore the good news."

Lily smiled and ran her fingers through the unicorn's mane. "I think I'll call you Levana," she said gently. "Would you like that?"

And from the soulful look the unicorn gave her, she figured that Levana didn't mind a bit.

"Aw, well, isn' tha' sweet," said Hagrid fondly. "I'll go now, get these to Professor Slughorn. Needs 'em for some potion or other."

"I'll come along, Hagrid," Lily called, giving Levana one last caress. "And while we're on the way, we could use some more pumpkins in the Great Hall."

And then Lily turned around behind her before setting off toward the castle, leaving a small golden unicorn gazing at her with the mark of unadulterated affection.

* * *

Sirius ambled lazily along one of the winding cobblestone roads of Hogsmeade, peaking casually into the shop windows as he tried he look interested.

Which he wasn't.

Peter was scuffling alongside him with his hands shoved in his pockets. Occasionally he would glance at Sirius out of the corner of his eye and attempt a weak smile, but if he would ever attempt to begin a casual or witty conversation, he would prove himself unworthy to continue as his voice trailed off into an awkward silence. It seemed to Sirius just then that Peter's startlingly droll comments were only ready when he was listening to the other three Marauders, but when it boiled down to a tête-à-tête, Peter was positively hopeless. And with Remus still in the Hospital Wing and James held up at school fixing Halloween decorations, Sirius was left by himself to consider his relationship with Peter.

The truth was, not much of a relationship actually existed. The two didn't share any private jokes, they had never stayed at each other's houses, and they did not rush to tell the other one the moment a bit of news came up. All in all, Sirius's main tie to Peter was James. It was James who had convinced Sirius and Remus to give Peter some patience, way back when they were in the First Year.

Looking back and recalling their earlier years at Hogwarts, Sirius found it a bit surprising, even laughable, that it was James who had accepted Peter into their little coterie, considering the tremendous wealth of jerk-like qualities that had defined James Potter. But, James had said, Peter had been made a Gryffindor for a reason, and though they might not have understood why, if it was good enough for the Sorting Hat, then it sure was good enough for him. Sirius, so bursting with Gryffindor pride, had agreed readily, and Remus had too, though probably because he had figured that, if anything, he should really be the one on the outside, given his condition.

At any rate, although Peter had been more than thrilled to join the little group, Sirius had never felt completely comfortable around him. Maybe it was because of Peter's shifty facial expressions, or maybe it was just because their personalities didn't mesh, but whatever the case, Sirius was now left feeling distinctly awkward, a highly rare occurrence.

Normally, Sirius would kill for a Hogsmeade day. He loved the endless bustle of activity, the very taste of excitement in the air. But somehow without his best mates laughing and cracking jokes along with him, he didn't feel quite the same level of giddy gaiety that normally accompanied visits to the village. He thought a nice Butterbeer might help the melancholy.

"Hey, Pete? Fancy a stop at the Three Broomsticks?"

Peter looked up, startled. "Um, I actually just remembered something I...have to do. I'll see you later?"

Sirius shrugged noncommittally. "Yeah, whatever."

When he got to the Three Broomsticks he spotted Thalia in a booth in the corner of the pub. He instantly felt his mood brighten. There was just something about Thalia that seemed to make people happy.

When he went over to her he saw that the two others at the table were Karen and that strange Camilla girl, who was currently reading the Daily Prophet with unusual concentration and seemed to pay no attention to anything around her, least of all Sirius's arrival.

"Hey there, stranger," piped Thalia, waving avidly. "What brings you 'round these parts?"

Sirius grinned. "A seat, little lady." He tilted an imaginary hat. "If you'll oblige me?"

"What's that got to do with it, Black?" Karen asked brusquely. "Seeing as you'll sit yourself down anyway?"

"Good point, Jones," said Sirius, dropping his act as he slid into the booth next to Thalia. "And it's nice to see you too, by the way. Where's your other half?"

"Who, Hannah? Off with that arsehole Gilderoy Lockhart," Karen growled.

"You're not too fond then I take it?"

"What's there to be fond of?"

Sirius felt a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I like you."

Karen just snorted; Camilla didn't even look up. Apparently, Thalia didn't seem to think this was in any way out of the ordinary or awkward for anyone anywhere because she immediately began spewing every detail about the goings on in her life, as well as the lives of several other Hogwarts members she happened to know about from listening in on the conversations in the girls' room. And even though Sirius normally loved to be the center of the conversation, he still found Thalia highly entertaining.

"Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly. "I also just got a letter from Ted."

Sirius leaned on his arms and smiled. "Yeah?" He loved hearing about anything related to Andromeda and her family. It was as though she was the only remnant of his family life left unmarred by corruption and bigotry. The light in the Black family.

"Nymphadora's decided that she absolutely hates her name and will only answer to 'Tonks.'"

Sirius laughed appreciatively. "Not even six and already a rebel. My kind of girl." He brushed his fringe out of his eye in a pensive gesture. "Although, if I had a name like Nymphadora I don't know that I'd be crazy about it either."

"Yeah, easy for you to say," huffed Karen, whom Sirius noticed didn't seem to be all that fond of him, given her snappy tone, "you're the only Sirius Black for miles. You know how many Karen Joneses there are? I'm surprised I even get my mail." She brought a finger to her chin. "Maybe I'll change my name to something more thrilling, like 'Hestia.'"

"Nah," said Sirius. "That'd get too confusing."

"Well, then," said Thalia, clapping her hands together, "I guess you know the solution then, don't you?"

Karen raised an eyebrow as though she didn't really want to know, thank you very much, but Sirius caught the corner of her mouth twitch with the suppression of a smile. "What?"

"You'll just have to marry someone with a really unusual last name so you'll be completely unique. It's got to be something really different...like 'Smith.'"

"That's ridiculous." Karen crossed her arms over her chest in a mockingly indignant way, though she was clearly joining in on the routine. "I'm not getting stuck with some bloke for the rest of my life just because he's got a surname with a handful of z's and silent q's or whatnot." She tightened her hair band. "Besides, Thalia. That was a completely sexist thing to say."

"Ooh," said Thalia delightedly. "Getting all feminist, are we?" She pounded a fist on the table. "I say we hold a protest on the Quidditch Pitch next week. What say you?"

Sirius smirked mischievously. "And let's all burn our bras while we're at it. It'd be kinda hot."

"Our bras, Black?" asked Karen innocently with wide eyes. "You'll be joining us then in our exhibition against men?"

Sirius inwardly smacked himself but instantly corrected his mistake. "That all depends," he said smoothly. "Will there be whips involved?"

Thalia slapped him upside the head, but laughed. "You're disgusting Sirius, but we'll still let you burn your bra."

"That wouldn't do. Black's bra is much too expensive," came a voice from somewhere in front of Sirius. He jumped with a start when he realized that it was that Clark girl, who looked just as she had a few minutes earlier, her eyes determinedly fixed on the newspaper in front of her; she looked as though she hadn't spoken at all.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Eh, you always this good at joining in a conversation at just the right moment?"

"I was listening the entire time," she said flatly as her eyes scanned an article. "I'm very skilled at multitasking."

"Hm. What else are you good at?" Sirius asked impetuously, though he somehow knew instinctively that flirtations of any sort would be lost on her.

She paused and looked directly at him, her strange gray eyes fixed on his own. "Hexes," she said simply, and resumed reading.

Sirius simply stared for a moment or two before cracking a small grin. "Well then," he said sarcastically. "I'll just have to behave myself, won't I?"

Karen snorted again, earning a look of disapproval from Thalia. "I wish you two'd just get along," she said huffily. "It would make life so much more pleasant for me."

Sirius leaned back on the palms of his hand behind his head. "Now now, Thalia," he said affectionately. "This banter might not be what you would call 'pleasant,' but I'd hardly call it 'unpleasant.' And I'd know, considering I've caused people many unpleasantries in my time." He winked at Karen. "S'long as your name isn't Severus Snape I don't think you have to worry that much."

Camilla's head snapped up. "Who's Severus Snape?"

Sirius raised a wary eyebrow and rested his arms on the table. He felt Thalia stiffen beside him. "Who's Severus Snape? Only about the most foul excuse of a human being to grace the halls of Hogwarts. Well, excepting those with the surname 'Black,' of course."

Karen idly twirled the straw in her half-finished mug of Butterbeer. "What is it with you two anyway? I've never two people glare at each other with so much venom."

Sirius frowned. It was hard for him to pinpoint exactly why he loathed Snape with such a deep-seated passion. In fact, he couldn't even remember when exactly the hatred had been conceived, only that it had been and that it had grown and developed to new staggering levels of intensity ever since.

"I guess it started in the way any two eleven-year-olds hate each other," he said slowly as he watched Karen stir her drink. "But then, I dunno, it just kind of - grew. Mostly because I hated the way he always had his nose stuck in some book about the Dark Arts." He gave a wry laugh. "Growing up where I did that's a sure sign of lunacy, or sadism, or evil, or whatnot. In my family those all seem to come in a package together anyhow."

He set his lips in a tight line and looked up straight into Camilla's line of vision. Her face was still blissfully blank, much to Sirius's frustration. "It doesn't really matter anyway," he mumbled.

"Actually, I'd say it does," said Karen with a faint undertone of warning. "Snape's heading in this direction, and he seems to know that his ears have been burning."

Sirius looked up to see the pitiless black eyes of Severus Snape trying to burn a hole with his gaze. Even though he felt his muscles tense in the combative stance of a predator upon seeking his prey, Sirius noticed that this Snape wasn't the same one he was used to fighting with. This one stood up taller and actually made the first sinister move and dared to look at him straightaway... And apparently, this one had lackeys. Sirius felt his blood boil when he realized who said lackeys were. Evan Rosier and his very own brother Regulus.

As a kid, Regulus had worshipped the ground Sirius had walked on, had tried to copy every action or imitate any catchphrase that his older brother had. Even though they were only a year apart, Sirius realized looking at his brother that they were about as far apart as any two strangers could be. A brother wouldn't desert another in a time of stress. A brother wouldn't maliciously snicker about him behind his back. And a brother most certainly wouldn't go trailing after the most loathsome enemy of the one who practically raised him.

Suddenly, Sirius felt sick to his stomach.

"I'm feeling a bit ill," he said to his friends, though loudly enough for Snape and Regulus to overhear. "The overwhelming stench in the room seems to be upsetting my delicate stomach." He stood up and leaned his clenched fists on the table, making direct eye contact with Regulus. "I'm an exception. All the rest of the Blacks have strong enough stomachs to tolerate the odor of the company they keep."

And though the rest of the pub was in a low hum and flurry of activity, at that moment the only three people in the room were a powerfully irate Sirius, a Snape with a flicker of triumph flash in his eyes, and a Regulus, looking confused, as though at that instant he didn't know where his loyalties lay.

Abruptly Sirius stood back up, flexed his arms, and with a curt farewell to the girls at his table, marched right past the group of Slytherins and out onto the sunny streets of Hogsmeade.

* * *

Remus took a ragged breath and pushed open the doors to the Great Hall, bracing himself for what was sure to be an evening of food, drink, and very loud noise. Not that he would begrudge anyone a traditional Halloween, but he always felt a tad under the weather the days immediately following his transformation. The full moon had been two nights prior, and though Remus was still feeling weak and not at all up to partying in the Common Room later that night, he simply could not stand another day in that stuffy Hospital Wing with only his thoughts for company.

The dreams were getting worse instead of gradually fading away like Remus had originally hoped. The swirls of color were more distinct, forming fuzzy shapes that were recognizable in Remus's unconscious state, and a voice had began murmuring low, sweet, enticing whispers of ill will.

Nothing like a nightmare to set the mood for Hollow's Eve.

Remus shook his head and headed over to where he saw Sirius hunched over a bottle of Butterbeer.

"Hey there, Moony," said Sirius loudly in a slightly garbled voice. "Good to see you better from-"

"Your furry little problem," interjected James, glaring at Sirius. "I'd think by now you'd know how to hold your liquor, Padfoot," he hissed.

Remus felt his eyes widen when he beheld the vast number of empty Butterbeer bottles scattered about the table. "Blimey, Padfoot, how much did you drink?"

James lowered his eyebrows. "Enough to know that even Butterbeer will catch up with you eventually."

"Aw, lighten up, Prongs," slurred Sirius. "It's Halloween. You've usually had more than your fill of alcohol by now." He raised his arm to take a swig from his bottle.

Remus grabbed Sirius by the elbow, catching James's eye. "I think you've about done it for now, Padfoot."

Sirius snorted, but agreed to leave his Butterbeer alone for the time being. "You're a right bore, you know that, Moony? You too, Prongs. I swear, you're hanging out with Evans too much."

Remus caught the slight twitch of James's upper lip, as though he was trying hard to keep from smiling. "I think you could do with another voice of reason. You can only take so much of Moony's nagging. I'll bet it's refreshing to hear it from someone else."

"You know you have a really splendid way of twisting a compliment into something almost completely insulting?" said Remus in a matter-of-fact way, stating rather than asking.

"Most certainly." And then James pulled his mouth into a wide, fake smile, flashing all of his teeth.

"Careful, James," came a peppy voice from behind Remus. "Your face might freeze that way."

Sirius squinted at the newcomer, and then his eyes widened in recognition. "Thalia!" he boomed. "Always a pleasure, darling! Sit right-" He pounded his fist on the table- "here!"

Thalia clapped him on the back. "I don't think this one should be left alone." She twirled, and Remus noticed for the first time that she was wearing an outlandishly garish fairy costume, complete with filmy wings, voluminous blond curls, and pointed toes. "You like? I've had it all planned out since last Christmas! I was staring at the ornaments because I had nothing better to do while Lily was sitting there studying as always - Oh hi, Lily, come sit - and I saw this little flying pixie, and I thought, 'Hey, wouldn't that be a great costume?' And well, isn't it just the prettiest thing you've ever seen?"

"Pretty is synonymous with unnervingly bright nowadays," quipped Lily, who had just come in and was standing behind Thalia with marked amusement.

Remus grinned. So far Lily had been the only person he had ever found that served as his match in the sarcasm department. James grinned as well.

"Don't be silly," laughed Thalia. "You're just jealous because you didn't dress up."

"As a matter of fact," said Lily smoothly as she sat down next to James, "I did dress up. I'm wearing my striped socks."

Sirius let out an odd noise that Remus at first thought was laughter, but then he realized that it was a hiccup. "What's wrong with Sirius?" Lily asked with a slight frown. "I've never seen him like this before."

"Well, I've decided to set something straight!" slurred Sirius. "And I'm letting you all know that I don't give a hoot about that bunch of fucked up bigots! Because I'm me and I'm me and I'm proud of that!" He brought a fist crashing down on the table for effect.

Remus narrowed his eyes. So they were back to this again. He understood that few people were truly comfortable expressing themselves, which was what made individuals like Thalia so refreshing, but Sirius's explosive temperament was bordering on ridiculous. Remus had thought that the days of finding Sirius staring blankly at walls while wallowing in self-pity were over, but apparently, all of Sirius's resentment towards the Black family had just been given a chance to spawn and fester.

"That's very good, Sirius," said Lily in a voice that reminded Remus of the way a mother speaks to a child, or how a doctor comforts a young patient who has just been given a rather nasty shot. "Now just look at me and open your mouth so I can make you feel better."

Sirius looked blandly at Lily, shrugged, and opened his mouth. Lily whispered a few quick words and pointed her wand at his tongue, emitting a few silver sparks. Sirius's eyes slid in and out of focus.

"He'll be fine in a minute or two," she said briskly. "I've just given him a light Sobriety Charm." She then noticed James, who was staring at her with a mixture of awe and admiration.

Remus chuckled to himself.

James shook his head. "I still don't get it. He always listens to you."

"Not just him," piped Thalia. "It's me too." She patted Lily on the arm. "You're a very scary person sometimes, you know."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Thanks. Ill add that to the résumé."

Remus caught the look that James shot Lily out of the corner of his eye, the type of look that he had not meant to give and that he had no intention of her noticing. Luckily, she didn't.

Lily reached over and picked a candied apple from the center of the table. "Just out of curiosity," she said with her eyes on her plate. "How have you been doing with the Animagus assignment from Minos?"

James nearly spit out a mouthful of pumpkin juice. After swallowing deliberately, he rasped out, "Fair enough, I guess."

"I'm a giant dog," announced Sirius, having just woken up from his stupor. "And I'd appreciate it if we continued to talk about this and never again mention my Butterbeer habit."

"Fair enough," nodded Lily. She then deliberately turned away from Sirius without a second glance and said, "How about you, Remus? What form do you take?"

James and Sirius both shot him a cautionary look. "I haven't really been able to do it yet, actually," Remus said, adding a touch of embarrassment to make his excuse more authentic. The real reason, Remus figured out after many failed attempts, was that to take on an animal form was to have a human mind within a non-human body. And as Remus was neither entirely human nor entirely beast, he was unable to take on an Animagus form. He smirked inwardly. I won't forget, don't worry.

Thalia patted Remus on the arm. "That's alright, Remus. I haven't been able to either. I keep hoping I'll be a squirrel or a rabbit or something like that but when I try to do the spell I always feel feathers growing." She shrugged, then stopped and considered for a moment, putting her finger pensively against her chin. "You know, they're quite itchy too."

Remus felt himself cracking a smile, both of relief and genuine amusement, but stopped abruptly when he saw Professor McGonagall hurry ashen-faced towards them.

It was like a leaden weight had just been dropped into his stomach; his teacher was never one to be ruffled, but the way she was walking told him that she came as the bringer of drastic, cataclysmic news.

It felt like forever before Professor McGonagall reached the table. Remus took a sharp intake of breath as she calmly rested a hand on Thalia's shoulder. "Miss Tonks, Mr. Black," she said in a clipped tone, seemingly to mask an element of sadness or resignation. "If you'll follow me for a moment please."

Thalia just shrugged nonchalantly and got up, waving backward with one hand. But Sirius rose slowly and stayed motionless for several disquieting seconds. His gray eyes were narrowed in a mix of agitation and anger, and he steadily held James's gaze before silently trailing Thalia out of the Great Hall.

James followed Sirius with his eyes and frowned as a pensive expression crossed his face. "Them too..."

Remus looked out to the entranceway James was watching and saw Professor Slughorn leading Regulus and Bellatrix Black out of the very doors through which Sirius had just disappeared. He felt an ominous shiver dance its way across his back.

All around them, the Great Hall seemed unchanged as hundreds of students continued their buoyant conversations over Halloween dinner, but Remus knew that the he, James, and Lily felt the portentous change in the air. They were alone, an island of trepidation amidst a sea of joy.

About two hours later, Sirius and Thalia had not yet returned, and Remus, James, and Lily stayed anxiously waiting in the Gryffindor Common Room, which was silent save for the crackling of the flames in the fireplace and the rhythmic scuffling of James's trainers on the carpet as he paced restlessly back and forth. The air was laden with an oppressive, unspoken tension.

Remus, who had been sitting with his forehead buried in his open palm, sat up slightly and looked to his left, where Lily sat patiently gazing into the fire. She bore a blank, almost tranquil expression that suggested she could have remained seated in her rigid position forever.

After a few moments, Remus noticed that Lily was no longer staring into the flames, but was now watching James. A small crease of worry marred her forehead.

James hadn't noticed any movement behind him. He held his hands fast behind his back, and as he paced back and forth he bent his body at a sharp angle; he looked to be marching purposefully towards an unknown goal.

The silence begged to be broken. "What do you think happened?" Remus asked tenderly.

It took James a few moments to acknowledge that someone had spoken, and then he shook his head vigorously. "Something. I know it was something. Something bad. He shook his head again. And I know whatever it is, there's fucking nothing I can do about it."

"Well, we - we don't know anything, James," Remus said with deliberation, almost as though he were trying to convince himself.

"Yet," spat out James. "We don't know anything yet." He stopped in his tracks, silent and conflicted fury in his face. "For G-d's sake, Lily, say something."

Lily looked up slowly and thought for a moment. "I think you're right, James," she said softly. "Something happened, but for now all we can do it wait." She glanced at the portrait hole and back. "It's like you said. We don't know anything yet."

As if on cue, the portrait hole swung open, and Thalia rushed in so quickly that Remus only had but a split second to notice that behind her messy hair, her face was puffy and tearstained. She flung herself on Lily and let out a pathetic sob. Sirius emerged quietly and straightened, the lines of his body imbued with resigned sadness. His face was expressionless.

"Lily," cried Thalia with pitiful grief. "He got - He got Andromeda. She's - she's d-d-dead." She coughed, and Lily pulled her closer and stroked her hair. "Th-The baby too. Tried t-to save him...Boy...It was a b-boy." She collapsed onto Lily's chest, unable to support herself any longer.

Remus swallowed hard and looked up. James had halted in his tracks, but he wasn't watching Thalia; he was staring fixedly at Sirius with an almost expectant glare, but Sirius seemed determined to avoid his gaze. It seemed like a scene from out of one of his nightmares, as confusion and uncertainly took hold of every soul with no sound but soft whimpers of mourning.

Lily lifted Thalia's head and stared straight into her eyes. "Come on upstairs, Thalia," she said gently. Thalia closed her eyes and nodded her head once. She let Lily help her up, and the two walked slowly up the stairs to the girls' dormitories, Lily's arms enclosing Thalia's shivering frame protectively, like a mother trying to ward away all dangers from her child.

James had been watching the sorrowful exchange with a look of confused pain. His eyes had pulled down at the corners and his mouth made a taut, sharp line across his face. He turned to Sirius.

"Dumbledore told us," started Sirius with a deadly calm. "All four of us were there, and he told us that bastard Voldemort murdered my cousin in cold blood. She was out shopping in Diagon Alley." He clenched his jaw and let out a strong puff of air from his nose. "For potions. For the baby."

James made a small movement towards him, but then appeared to think better of it. Sirius hadn't noticed, and he balled his fingers into a tight fist as he continued.

"Do you know what the bitch did when she found out her sister was killed?" His voice became a whispered fury. "She laughed. That foul, warped bitch fucking laughed." He twisted his fringe in his hand. "She's - a demon, I swear it." He turned his head sharply to meet James's eyes and flared his nostrils ferociously. "THE BITCH LAUGHED GOD DAMMIT!"

Remus flinched, but James didn't move a muscle. He just stared back, his eyes slowly assuming comprehension. "Padfoot..."

"Don't," Sirius snapped, pointing severely. "Just..." His arm fell, and after a few moments of deafening silence, he turned around and walked defeated up to bed.

That left Remus and James alone in the Common Room with a palpable tension in the air. James resumed his nervous pacing, occasionally bringing a hand to his head to conceal the red flush brightening the back of his neck. When he turned around, Remus saw that James did not bear a visage of sadness, but one of pointed anger.

"Prongs?" he asked hesitantly. "Do you want me to -"

"No," said James sharply. "No, don't stay, and don't wait. I...I think I'm going to sleep in my room tonight. You just-" His hands fell, and he looked at Remus imploringly. "Just don't talk to Padfoot, alright? Promise me that."

Remus nodded slowly. "I promise." He got up, and his body felt as though it had aged fifty years. "I'm...going to go upstairs now...Prongs?"

But James had turned to the fire with his shoulders pulled back forcefully. He looked like a general ready to face the most defining battle in a bloody, drawn-out war. He did not respond.

And so, Remus somehow moved his limbs up to his bed and lay awake for quite some time, noticing the painful absence of Sirius's steady breaths of sleep.

Before he drifted off, Remus thought he saw fleeting images passing before his eyes...A fist crushing a delicate rose, a small rat, swirling stars...There was the soft hum of a distant melody, and everything went black.