The Spaces Between Shadows & Night

Chapter 9
Puzzle Pieces

Hermione was in Harry's dormitory moments after Malfoy had fled. She found Harry sat cross-legged on his bed, a blank expression on his face. His green eyes seemed to have lost their spark of life and the haunted expression Harry had had on his face at the beginning on the term was back with a vengeance.

Hermione crawled onto the bed, sitting in a similar position facing him. "Harry?" she asked tentatively. "What just happened?"

Harry blinked. As if nothing of importance had happened, he said, "Oh. I kissed Draco."

The brown eyes which had been regarding him carefully widened in surprised. Hermione clapped a hand to her mouth in surprise. "Oh, Harry."

"It's nothing," said Harry nonchalantly. "Really, Hermione. It was really a spur of the moment thing."

"How can you act as though nothing happened?" she demanded.

"Because it was nothing," Harry stated, his tone commanding and final. He wasn't going to talk about it any more. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a shower."

Hermione pursed her lips, and without another word, left the room. It was clear from her body language that she was not happy about Harry's attitude. Harry wasn't thinking about Hermione at this moment, though.

As he ran the shower, the bathroom slowly filling with steam, his mind was racing. He seemed to be running on auto-pilot: his mind was elsewhere and his body was doing things automatically.

I kissed Draco. I kissed Draco. My first kiss and it was with my worst enemy. No, my friend. My best friend? No, that's Hermione. He's just... Draco. Why did I do it? Why? Why? Why? It's not right. I'm not supposed to kiss Draco. I'm not supposed to kiss boys.

Taking a deep breath, Harry stepped under the hot water.

Right. The hot water and steam seemed to be helping his mind to clear a little. Harry Potter kissed Draco Malfoy. Harry Potter has to reevaluate his entire friendship with aforementioned Slytherin. Harry Potter has to buy more shampoo. Harry paused for a moment. Harry Potter needs to stop talking about himself in the third person.

~~ ~~~ ~~

Harry managed to avoid Hermione and the others for much of Christmas Day. He couldn't, however, get out of Christmas lunch. Especially as he was starving and the smells that floated through the castle from the kitchens were particularly appetising.

In the Great Hall, when Harry arrived, there was just one table set out for students and staff. There were very few people who had stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas - Harry, Hermione, Draco, Alena, a couple of Hufflepuffs and just three Ravenclaws. Many of the professors also seemed to have gone elsewhere for the holidays.

Four seats had been carefully left by the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws for the Slytherins and Gryffindors. Hermione and Alena were already seated, a spare seat beside each of them. Harry sat next to Alena, who gave him a whisper of a smile. He wasn't really sure if he should sit next to Hermione, so Alena was a safer choice. Granted she probably knew what had happened, but she wouldn't force him to make conversation.

Draco arrived a few minutes after Harry, the last of the students to arrive. In silence, he took his seat next to Hermione, nearly tripping over his own feet in order to sit down quickly.

Dinner was very quiet that day.

~~ ~~~ ~~

On Boxing Day, Harry finally found himself able to talk to Hermione. She didn't ask any questions, or even try and subtly poke any information out of him. Instead, she tended to fall quiet during their conversations, allowing Harry to talk or, when she did talk, to let the conversation drift to utterly inane topics which had no real purpose or interest to either of them.

Sirius was around Hogwarts all the time. Harry felt like he could go around a corner without seeing his godfather's canine form slinking away, trying to stay out of sight. Dumbledore must have known about Sirius's presence, for Harry was sure that Dumbledore knew everything that happened at Hogwarts, whether he was supposed to or not.

It was difficult trying to find a time to talk to him, but Harry finally managed it at a time when Hermione was out of Gryffindor Tower. He wasn't entirely sure where she was, but nevertheless, it gave Harry a chance to talk to Sirius. Or for Sirius to talk to Harry as the case turned out.

"Harry, I hope you don't mind me asking, but where's Ron?"

Sirius's question threw Harry for a moment. Then he remember - he hadn't had any contact with Sirius since coming back to school. Sirius knew nothing about the bust-up.

"We had a fight."

"And?"

Harry blinked. What exactly was he supposed to say? "We don't talk."

"Is that it?" Sirius seemed surprised. "Me and your fathers used to have little spats all the time."

"This isn't a 'little spat'," Harry corrected, his eyes flaring. "And I'll bet that my father never conveniently forgot to tell you his mother had invited you and your other best friend home for Christmas. Or started yelling at you in the Great Hall just because you're playing charades with some Slytherins."

Sirius let out a snort of laughter. "Charades?" Harry rolled his eyes. Sirius sobered himself up. "Sounds serious. But Harry, what exactly is going on with you and Malfoy?"

"Nothing!" Harry's voiced seemed to squeak slightly and a blush crept into his white cheeks. "I mean, we're friends. That's it." In a rather stiff voice, he added, "And his name is Draco."

"Oh. Sorry. But isn't it a bit odd, though?" asked Sirius. "I thought you hated him."

"I thought I did as well," admitted Harry. "But feelings change." More than you know, Harry realised. But that was a lie, Harry decided. His feelings for Draco who completely platonic. He hadn't meant to kiss Draco. We wasn't supposed to kiss Draco. He wasn't supposed to kiss boys.

A female voice drifted brightly through the air. "On the first day of Chrisssstmassss my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree..."

Harry looked up in astonishment. It certainly wasn't Hermione's voice, and he and Hermione were the only people left in Gryffindor. Sirius definitely didn't have a soprano. Or a lisp, for that matter.

Shilya. Harry's Familiar was curled up on her heat pad in front of the fire. Harry had thought she was asleep (though it was hard to tell because snakes don't have eyelids as Harry had discovered), but clearly she had woken up and decided to start singing.

"Can you keep it down?" asked Harry. "We're trying to have a conversation."

"Ssssure. No problem, Harry." Shilya's singing turned into a quiet humming. Harry turned back to his godfather.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Erm, Harry..."

Harry let out a low chuckle. He hadn't yet told Sirius about his new Familiar. To him, it must have seemed as though there was simply a lot of hissing. Being a Parseltongue was a lot more complicated than Harry had previously though. Shilya was quite the chatterbox and she could talk more than Lavender and Parvati put together.

"Sorry, Sirius. I should have told you." Rising from his seat, Harry quickly crossed the Common Room and picked up Shilya who hissed at him in annoyance. Her vocabulary was quite extensive, not to mention colourful. "This is Shilya," he explained, holding the snake in his hands. "My new Familiar."

"It's very nice to meet you, Shilya," said Sirius politely. From the way he spoke, Harry was fairly confident that Sirius had never had to introduce himself to a snake before.

"Tell him he'ssss welcome," Shilya instructed Harry. Her tongue flickered out, tasting the air. Her head turned to face Sirius. "He's handssssome." Harry laughed, but refused to tell Sirius Shilya's last comment.

When Sirius finally gave up trying to get Shilya's comment out of Harry, he asked, "How did you become friends so quickly? I mean, you and Draco. I thought you couldn't stand to be in the same room with him."

Harry was silent for a moment. Sirius was questioning his friendship with Draco. In all honesty, Harry was questioning his friendship with Malfoy at this particular time, but he decided to ignore that. Harry had thought that Sirius would have been supportive.

"On the first of September four years ago, I knew no-one at Hogwarts. A boy came into my compartment and asked if he could sit there because everywhere else was full. By the end of the train journey myself and Ron Weasley were best friends. We didn't even know if we were going to be in the same house, but we were friends nonetheless."

"Harry, what exactly has that got to do with Malfoy?" asked Sirius.

A surprisingly frail looking hand was put up to silence him. "A couple of months later Ron openly insulted a girl who neither of us particularly liked. She heard, and, being a typical eleven year-old, she ran off crying to the girls toilets. Realising that she was in danger when a mountain troll had been let into the school, we helped save her. She lied to McGonagall for us and from then on the three of us were best friends."

His eyes darkened. "Time is irrelevant. A couple of months, a couple of hours, a few terrifying minutes... completely irrelevant."

For a moment, Sirius was quiet. There wasn't really a response to that, and Harry knew it.

"What about the rest of the Weasleys?"

"They're divided." Hermione appeared beside Sirius, her cheeks flushed from the cold. She had seemingly appeared during Harry's monologue. Sighing, she took a seat. "Bill's neutral, the twins are on our side and Ginny refuses to be anywhere near us."

"The youngest?" Sirius sounded surprised. "I thought she was, well, y'know, rather... attached to Harry?"

Hermione gave a slight snort at this. Harry looked at her, bemused. "What is it?" he asked her. Looking blankly at Sirius, he asked, "And what do you mean?"

In surprise, Hermione's eyes widened. "You really don't know?" she asked.

"Know what?" demanded Harry.

"Ginny fancies you, you prat!" She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, are you really blind enough not to have noticed the way she acts around you?" Harry blushed, and Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Apparently you are." She sighed. "Even though Ginny fancies the pants off you," Harry blushed even more at this, "she respects and admires Ron more than you could possibly imagine. There's what? Less than a year between them? They're very close, so that's why she's on Ron's side."

"That's not the only reason."

Hermione looked at Sirius, then nodded in understanding.

This was getting frustrating for Harry. Was he really as unobservant as they made out?

Apparently so.

Sirius continued in the same vein as Hermione. "The fact that you've also become bestest buddies with the boy who has insulted her and her family for as long as she can remember and whose father gave her the diary which housed Tom Riddle's memory is obviously very difficult for her." Harry had to agree with this.

He looked down at Shilya, who had fallen asleep in his hands. This Christmas holiday was supposed to be a break from any hard school work or anything that even remotely resembled thinking. It turned out he was going to have to do more thinking than ever before.

The days after that seemed to pass with an agonising slow speed. The rest of the Hogwarts students were due to return to school on January the fourth. By New Year's Eve, Harry was bored out of his skull.

After breakfast, however, Harry and Hermione were about to return to Gryffindor Tower for a game of Exploding Snap when they were stopped by a Ravenclaw girl Harry recognised from his Herbology class.

"Hi, Harry, Hermione."

Hermione smiled broadly. "Good morning, Lisa. How are you?"

"Err, fine." Was it just Harry or did the Ravenclaw seem extremely nervous. "Erm, well, I was just wondering..." at this point, the girl began to twirl a piece of her long white blonde hair around her finger, "we're not really supposed to, but we're having a party tonight in the Ravenclaw Common Room. Kind of a New Year's Eve thing. We were wondering if you'd like to come."

Hermione didn't even bother to consult Harry. "We'll be there."

Lisa grinned. "Good. Erm, do you know the way?"

"No." The location of both the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw common rooms were still a mystery to Harry and Hermione.

"Well, erm, I'll meet you just out side the Great Hall at about ten, then," Lisa decided. She wasn't so nervous now, obviously pleased that Harry and Hermione had agreed to come.

"We'll see you then," said Hermione. Lisa nodded then walked off in the other direction where another Ravenclaw, presumably her boyfriend from the welcome he gave her, was waiting. The two of them disappeared off down a corridor.

~~ ~~~ ~~

The Ravenclaw Common Room wasn't actually anywhere near the Library. Harry had always thought that it might have been, considering the fact that Ravenclaws were always presumed to be studious and intelligent.

It was, in fact, fairly near the Gryffindor Tower. While the Gryffindors had a tower to themselves and the Slytherins had their dungeon, the Ravenclaws had a small wing to themselves. The entrance to their Common Room was guarded by an angel, who asked very politely for the password before allowing them entrance. Lisa had whispered the password so that the guests (Harry, Hermione, the Hufflepuffs who were still in school and Draco and Alena) could not hear it.

Harry had now seen the inside of three Common Rooms. While the Slytherins lived in a fairly minimalist, cold atmosphere, and the Gryffindors lived in the comparable luxury of their tower, the Ravenclaw lifestyle seemed to be somewhere in the middle. It was a very practical room (in varying shades of blue, naturally), but with splashes of comfort in the shape of large padded chairs. The fireplace in the very centre of the room and various bookcases gave it a very homely feel.

The three Ravenclaws had decked the room out with hundreds of small lights - against the dark blue of the walls, they looked like stars in the night sky and music was playing, though Harry couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

There were nine of them in total, and their time was spent talking, dancing (how on Earth Hermione and Alena had learnt to dance like they had, Harry had no idea) and playing a very strange game which involved a large bar of chocolate, a knife and fork, a woolly hat, gloves and a scarf. According to Hermione and one of the Hufflepuffs, it was a Muggle game played at children's parties.

As midnight drew, Harry was corned by Lisa, pulling him away from his conversation. "Harry, its nearly midnight. You should probably go and stand with Hermione."

"Why?"

"Well, everyone has to kiss someone at midnight, and I hardly think you're going to kiss Draco. The only person who gets out of it is Gertie," she nodded towards the youngest, a second year Ravenclaw, "but only 'cause she's got a terrible head-cold. And she's only twelve." She went back to her boyfriend, leaving Harry rooted to the spot. He had been having a very forced conversation with Draco and Alena about Herbology (Alena's favourite subject, apparently).

Slowly he walked over to where Hermione was sat, sipping the last of her Butterbeer. She looked up at him curiously, noting his worried expression she smiled slightly. "I'm guessing Lisa talked to you about midnight," she said. She stood up, looking concerned.

"Uh, yeah."

"Y'know, we don't have to..."

"No, I insist. It's tradition," Harry said, just as the large grandfather clock in the corner of the room began to chime, twelve deeps 'bongs' rattling the window frames.

He pressed him lips against hers in a short, chaste kiss.

And it was over. There wasn't a sudden flood of emotions as Harry suddenly realised what a fool he had been and that he was madly in love with Hermione, nor was there a feeling of deep disgust. It sparked no emotion whatsoever: it was nothing. Nothing.

But if that was nothing, then what had happened on Christmas Day had to be something.

~~ ~~~ ~~

I wish there was some way I could change it. I could change everything. If I could go back in time I'd change it so that I had never kissed him. I'd change it so that I was never friends with him. That Ron and I had never had that fight.

Why stop there? The little voice in Harry's head prompted.

Good point. I could change it so that my parents never died. That Voldemort never existed.

Harry's thoughts were quiet for a moment.

But I can't. I can't change anything. Even if I could, I don't think that I could. One little thing could change the entire course of history. While Harry was no expert on time-travel paradoxes, he had had some experience of the matter in his third year, using Hermione's Time-Turner. On reflection, it had been a most perplexing situation. If they hadn't have used the Time-Turner, they wouldn't have been able to use the Time-Turner - the Dementors would have got to them.

Harry shuddered he didn't want to think of the Dementors. They still gave him nightmares.

No, Harry decided, I wouldn't change anything. You can't expect to have the same friends all your life or be the same person. You definitely can't expect everything to turn out perfectly, either.

He rolled over onto his stomach, creasing the bedclothes as he did so. Reaching out for his wand to extinguish the light in the dormitory, Harry heard a voice.

"Everything will turn out all right in the end, Harry. You'll ssssee."

The green-eyed boy sighed. "I hope you're right, Shilya. I really do."

~~ ~~~ ~~

It had been a while since one of Harry's midnight wanderings. As his friendship with Draco had evolved, his need for the walks had diminished.

But suddenly Harry had an uncontrollable urge to roam the darkened corridors. To be alone. Grabbing his Invisibility cloak, Harry left Gryffindor Tower quickly and quietly. He didn't particularly want Hermione to know he had left. While she was a great friend and confidante, Hermione could be a little bit too motherly at times. Harry couldn't remember ever having a real mother figure in his life, save Molly Weasley, and he didn't particularly want one.

The castle was as quiet as ever, even with the distinct lack of students.

Harry's ears pricked up. There was a noise coming from the Charms corridor. Deciding to investigate, Harry was surprised at what he saw.

"Y'know, you're doing to do yourself an injury one day," Hermione was saying, helping Draco up off the floor. "What happened?"

Dusting off his trousers, Draco mumbled, "I tripped."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. She glanced around. "On what?" It was a valid question. There was absolutely nothing in the corridor that Draco could have tripped over.

"I just tripped, okay?" Draco spat. "Anyway, why aren't you up in Gryffindork Tower?"

There was a slight snort from Hermione. "Gryffindork?" she repeated. "How very unoriginal." Draco scowled and this was followed by a roll of Hermione's eyes. "You mustn't have been paying attention to where you're going," she said matter-of-factly. "What were you thinking about?"

"Inner-Draco's telling me I'm a prat for not doing my shoelaces up," Draco grumbled. Harry saw Hermione look downwards. Sure enough, the Slytherin's shoelaces were untied.

Hermione looked up at Draco, a curious expression on her face. "Inner-Draco?" she questioned.

"Yes, Hermione," Draco snapped. "Inner-Draco. The little voice in my head that tells me the truth even when no-one else does. The little voice that tells me what I'm feeling and how I should be acting."

"Ah," Hermione said sagely. "Your conscience."

"I suppose." A scowl spread across his pale features. "Don't tell me you don't have an 'Inner-Hermione'."

The Gryffindor nodded slowly. "I do," she said. "I just don't have a name for her like you do. I don't listen to her an awful lot."

"You should," Draco advised.

"If I listened to Inner-Hermione right now you'd be lying unconscious on the floor," Hermione warned.

Draco considered this. "Hmm. Why do you dislike me so much?"

Hermione's reply was quiet and thoughtful. "I don't dislike you, per se," she admitted. "I like you a lot more than I did a few months ago. It's just... I mean I don't really know you all that well." She frowned. "I don't even know your favourite colour."

The blond Slytherin was silent at this. Harry realised he had been holding his breath through their conversation and took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the fresh night-air.

Hermione gave a slight nod. "I think I'd better go back to Gryffindor. G'night, Draco." She turned and began to walk away, with out turning back. She passed right by Harry, and the hidden boy held his breath, hoping she wouldn't notice him. Although he was wearing his Invisibility cloak, Hermione had demonstrated the ability to almost 'sense' him when he was around.

A slightly trembling voice called out to her. "Green." Hermione turned to look at the Slytherin. "My favourite colour is green," he elaborated. Hermione smiled.

"Goodnight, Draco."

~~ ~~~ ~~

If the castle had been quiet and deserted during the Christmas break, if was a riot when the other students arrived back. It was a rather welcome distraction for Harry, having other people around instead of just Hermione and Shilya for company. And there were only so many time you could play 'solitaire' with a pack of Exploding Snap cards.

Harry had been reading in the Common Room, when he heard a strangled yell from the fifth year boy's dormitory. He and the others who weren't unpacking, looked up. A moment later Ron Weasley stormed into the Common Room, his face red with rage.

"What is this?" he demanded, shaking something in Harry's face. Harry realised a second later that it was a black and grey something. A snakelike something.

"What does it look like?" he asked angrily, taking the snake forcefully from Ron's large hand. Shilya was yelling at the top of her lungs, once more proving her extensive vocabulary. Harry hadn't know you could do that with a broomstick.

"It's a snake," Ron spat.

"Well done, Ron. Now - what colour is the ceiling?"

Ron looked thunderous at Hermione comment; the brown-haired girl had appeared behind him a moment before, after hearing his yell.

"What is Harry doing with a snake?" Ron demanded.

"I'm holding it," Harry replied, stroking Shilya's head gently in an attempt to placate the angry snake, who was now threatening to bite Ron if he ever came near her again.

"It was a Christmas present," Hermione informed Ron.

Ron's eyes narrowed. "From who?"

"Guess," Harry dared him, his green eyes glinting menacingly. Having Ron yell at him was tolerable, but had he continued shaking Shilya like that, he could have seriously hurt her.

In a moment of realisation, Ron's face turned even redder. "Him," he hissed. "He gave you a Christmas present!"

"And I gave him one." Harry snickered slightly. "The 'Potter Productions Self-Ponce Kit'." Hermione giggled slightly at this as well.

Seeing as there was obviously a joke he wasn't allowed in on, Ron got even madder, if it were possible.

"I got him a present too," Hermione volunteered.

Ron then began to rant, very loudly, and drawing attention from the inhabitants of the Common Room. Sighing, Hermione pulled out her wand and cast a silencing charm. Realising what she had done, Ron made some crass gestures and stormed off, making Hermione laugh even more.

She collapsed next to Harry on the sofa, leaning her head gently against his shoulder, still laughing. Harry joined in with her laughter. It actually felt good to laugh at Ron's displeasure.

"You'll have to take that curse off him eventually," Harry reminded her.

"Nah," she said. "It'll wear off in a couple of hours."

~~ ~~~ ~~

The tension was unbearable; Harry didn't know how much more of it he could take.

Instead, he tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away. Harry looked down at the Kneazle in front of him. It was the same one as he and Ron had been working on before... well, before the Fight. Harry couldn't help but think of it as the Fight, with a capital F.

This particular Kneazle had a dark brown colour fur which was speckled with tawny spots. She (Harry discovered the animal was female) looked up at Harry with big brown eyes. The creature had a certain liking for Harry, and Harry was starting to think the creature would end up in his care permanently.

After the bust-up with Ron, Harry had started working with Seamus and Hermione in Care of Magical Creatures.

At this precise moment it was about seven o'clock in the evening and the three of them were down by Hagrid's Hut with the Kneazle (whom Hermione had named Halycon), doing some extra work. It was also an excuse to leave the Gryffindor Common Room.

Seamus and Hermione. He'd said it once and he'd say it again; the situation was simple unbearable. There was no other description for it. While they both worked, Harry kept watching them as they snuck glances at each other, blushing when they were caught by the other. If something didn't happen between the two of them soon, Harry was going to crack.

Too late.

"Are you two going to kiss or what?" Harry demanded, snapping his head up to glare at them. Hermione's eyes widened and Seamus flushed. "This is driving me mad!" He turned to Seamus, then Hermione. "You like her. You like him. What is the problem?" Harry was sure his voice had risen quite a few decibels by this point and was surprised that Hagrid wasn't coming to investigate.

Harry continued with his rant, as the other two Gryffindors stared in amazement, both at each other and Harry. "Honestly, if something doesn't happen between the two of you soon I am going to be forced to take drastic action. I..."

"Shut up, Harry," Hermione ordered, pushing him out of the way and wrapping her arms around Seamus's neck, kissing him like Harry had never seen anybody kiss before.

The green-eyed boy gulped. He suddenly felt very self-conscious. "Erm... I think I'll take Halycon back to the pen with the other Kneazles."

Flipping his scarlet and gold scarf over his shoulder, he picked up the Kneazle and walked quickly away from the pair of Gryffindors.

At the pen, he was greeted brightly by Alena. "Hi, Harry," she called waving. She put down the black Kneazle she was holding. Turning to Malfoy, she said, "Aren't you going to say hello?"

Malfoy's greeting was civilised, and extremely forced. Harry was sure he was blushing and was extra glad that his cheeks were already flushed from the cold.

"Hullo, Alena," said Harry dully as he placed Halycon in with the other Kneazles. He brushed off his cloak and looked up at the two Slytherins. Alena seemed to have shunned the traditional green and silver-grey Slytherin scarf for a vibrant rainbow-coloured one which stood out against her black cloak. She later explained to him that it was a late Christmas present from Blaise. Apparently Blaise had actually knitted it herself.

"Where's Hermione?" asked Alena. She clearly wanted to go and find the Gryffindor girl, although Harry had a sneaky suspicion that this was just to leave himself and Malfoy alone.

Harry didn't even want to think about what had happened between the two of them, and certainly didn't want to be with Malfoy alone for the time being.

"Uh, she's with Seamus. I wouldn't disturb them right now."

"Oh."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow in interest. "Granger finally getting some, eh? Huh. Maybe she won't be so..."

"Shut up, Draco," snapped Alena. "I don't insult your friends - you shouldn't insult mine."

The black-haired girl scowled at Draco, the stormed off, though Harry noted that she headed back towards the castle rather than to where Hermione and Seamus were.

This left Harry and Draco alone.

~~ ~~~ ~~
TBC
~~ ~~~ ~~