Draco's Song

Where once was light

Now darkness falls

The world had fallen into the darkness. People fell to it or they struggled on alone. Choices were being made. People died. People suffered. And still they tried to believe that everything was going to be all right. But many knew better. Harry Potter and his friends knew, Dumbledore and the other Hogwarts teachers knew, Draco Malfoy knew. And they all faced this trial in their own way. Potter as the hero, his friends the backup, the teachers leading the fight for goodness and Draco hovering between worlds, trying to stay alive no matter the cost. No one ever trusted him completely, no one wanted him on their side, but still he hovered. He didn't want to kill, but he would rather that then die. He belonged to both and yet neither of the two sides. And in his mind was the microcosm of the whole war. And he was alone.

Where once was love

Love is no more

There was no love lost between father and son. Each had their own duty, one to Voldemort the other to himself, and they only used each other for their own ends. But Draco was young and not yet versed in the art of manipulation as his father was. He never stood a chance. And then came the day when Draco was told to choose one side or the other. If he did not then he would be killed as a traitor. He, of course, pledged his allegiance to his father's cause. Not to have done so would have been death. But then the prisoner was dragged out, a young boy with a shock of bright red hair and a splattering of freckles across his cheeks. He looked up at Draco in horror and anger. And listened as his hated enemy was told to kill him as proof.

Don't say- goodbye

Don't say- I didn't try...

How could he kill in cold blood? As he looked at this boy he hated so much he realized he couldn't do it. The part of him that once could have killed had died long ago. And he refused. Lucius was livid, of course. He denied ever having a son. Something this weak could never be any son of his. Draco tried to explain, tried to make amends. Part of him held some twisted remnant of childlike lover for a parent and he couldn't stand the words pouring from his mouth.

These tears we cry

Are falling rain

Suddenly Lucius's tongue turned syrupy sweet, filled with lies and deceit. Out of "love" for his son he wouldn't kill him. His wand was pulled from his hand and with it two words were spoken. Draco thought his time had come, but his father held to his word and the green light wasn't directed at him. Ron Weasley fell at his feet, dead. His wand was pressed back into his hand as the Death Eaters left the hall. He collapsed on his knees next to the cold body, head bowed in shame and some sort of grief.

For all the lies

You told us

Harry Potter ran into the room minutes later, robes a mess, dirt and blood marring his face. When he saw his friend on the ground he gave a heart-rending scream and raced forward. His fists pounded on Draco's back as he cried murderer into his deaf ears. Draco looked at him blindly, ignoring the blows raining down on him, seeing only the tears on the boy's face. He tried to tell him what had happened but the words stuck in his throat and the boy didn't listen, couldn't hear through his grief. Even if he had, why would he believe him? When had he ever told him the truth?

The hurt, the blame!

The aurors came soon and found Draco over Ron's dead body, the murder weapon in his hand, Harry Potter himself proclaiming his guilt. The arrested him and led him away. He didn't speak a word, just stared off into nothing, feeling only that inside of him.

And we will weep

To be so alone

They put him in Azkaban to await his trial. Only then, surrounded by so much pain, did he weep for what had happened. His dreams were haunted by red-haired figures accusing him of murder, telling him his horrid fate. And then he would wake to it, the dementors pushing food through the metal grating, giving off the air of a predator patiently waiting for a meal it knew would come. And he was alone. No one came to visit him, no one cared. Only Potter came. He stared in at him, his face a mask of hatred for the one he believed had murdered his best friend. He never talked, never asked why or how could he. But hatred reeked out of him and gave Draco other nightmares.

We are lost!

We can never go home

He tried to tell the court what had happened. They wouldn't listen. Potter stared at him, disbelieving, through the whole trial and his gaze was unnerving. Draco looked out at the crowd of people and saw only hatred in their eyes. His whole world was destroyed. He could never go home and everywhere else was hatred.

So in the end

I'll be- what I will be

So he stopped caring. As the hours of the trial turned into days with each night spent in Azkaban, he lost the dim rays of hope and happiness that he had once owned. He decided that death might be worth it to be rid of this world.

No loyal friend

Was ever there for me

On the last day of the trial old school "friends" were brought up to testify against him. All told about his mean spirit and his hatred for the Gryffindors. They made up stories about threats he had made and stories he had told about the day he could finally do in Weasley and Potter. Crabbe and Goyle, the two idiots that he had thought might actually have liked him, were among them. They went up there and told the court horrible things about him, some true but many false. And when they stepped down and walked past him they spit at him in contempt.

Now we say- goodbye

We say- you didn't try...

He was found guilty, of course. He was waiting in his cell for the dementors to come and administer the Kiss when Potter came. He looked in on him, a measure of pity mixed in with the anger and hatred. No matter how horrible he was, the Kiss was drastic, and his pain had faded somewhat, allowing room for other emotions. Draco looked up at him and realized he'd had enough of this. So he told him the truth, that he had condemned an innocent man to death. And Harry saw the truth in those haunted grey depths.

These tears you cry

Have come too late

Harry tried to get them to stop the Kiss but the court had unanimously declared this and they couldn't be gone against. Angry, frustrated tears coursed down his cheeks as he looked down at the boy... no, man whom he had condemned to death. He told him he was sorry but what were words in the face of death?

Take back the lies

The hurt, the blame!

Draco stared at his hated face, bright with tears, and felt the cold tug on his heart that meant the approach of dementors. "Now my blood is on your hands. Will that wash away Weasley's?" he asked quietly as his death came towards him. And Harry realized that it wouldn't, even if he had been the murderer. Ron was dead and another death wouldn't change that. But it was too late to take back the lies, the pain and his testimony. Draco would die.

And you will weep

When you face the end alone

Harry retreated to a safe distance as the dementors came into the room. His face was very pale and he seemed to be holding onto consciousness by a string. Draco couldn't see him anymore; all he saw were the black-cloaked figures approaching him. The cold pain washed over him and a single, guilty tear went down his cheek. He was alone in death as he had been in life.

You are lost!

You can never go home

Harry hurried from the prison in tears, losing sight of where he was going. When he returned to Hogwarts everything looked different, paler. And he kept looking up during lessons expecting to see that pale face glaring at him. But it was gone. And it was all his fault. Life changed around him. Suddenly the sun went dim and the moon all but disappeared. Flowers no longer bloomed, laughs became forced and friendship a false shadow. When he slept the dreams came. Ron was there, as he'd always been in life, laughing and talking. He would wake from those in tears from the end of happy memories. Draco was on others, as he had last seen him, a shell of a body, or with terror in his eyes as he faced death. Guilt and pain were his constant companions. And he knew life would never be the same. Ron was gone. And he was as good as a murderer. His life had fallen to pieces around his ears and Hogwarts was no longer home. It was a prison.

You are lost!

We can never go home.