Diaries of the Four Founders

Dear diary,

No, that sounds stupid. It sounds soft and sappy. Nobody really writes like that unless they have severe emotional problems, which I don't.

I'll start that again.

Tuesday

I have decided to keep a diary. We've all made a pact to start keeping one. It was Hellie's idea. She says it helps to get things out into the open. I don't see how writing a diary gets things out into the open, though. People write down their innermost secrets and then hide them from others. If I really wanted to get things out into the open, I would announce them. However I don't plan to get things out into the open.

Anyway, I think that this will help me keep a record of future events so I can remember my life. Perhaps it will help me if I decide to write my memoirs. I said this to Helga.

"You're so serious, RoRo," she said, looking at me pityingly. "Maybe one day you'll learn to have a bit of fun."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I can have fun. I choose not to. I want to get on with my life and impart wisdom."

"Exactly," said Helga, sadly, shaking her head so the two plaits she wears next to her face swayed. "You're too solemn!"

Helga has never done anything serious in her life. She's too busy with men and being pretty. She's Swedish, and looks typically so. She's got lovely thick blonde hair that she likes to wear loose, apart from some of it at the front, which she plaits. The braids frame her face nicely. They really suit her. She's very beautiful, is Helga. Most men like her. In fact all the men who meet her like her. I wish I was as pretty as she is.

Oh Godric, do you love Helga as well? Does she make you go all strange and stupid whenever you see her, like what happens to me when I see you? Do you find yourself thinking about her constantly, and absent-mindedly gazing at her at dinner, like I find with you? ♥

I know I generally confide in Helga with these things, but really I find it hard. I can't just tell her what I feel when it comes to Godric because - although on the surface she will be lovely - behind her pretty, sympathetic face she will probably be sneering inwardly. She dislikes Godric. She finds him a hopeless pretty-boy. This is sad because he's obviously in love with her, just like all the other men that meet her.

Is it a crime to be in love, I wonder? I think it should be. Then nobody would dare to do it, and then nobody would have their hearts broken like mine. But then the population would die out.

Oh goodness, Hellie's right. I am too serious. If this was Helga's diary she'd be saying, "Then life would not be so fun," whilst I am saying, "Then the population would die out." I don't know how to have fun, it's true. But I chose career over fun. Helga and Godric see this place as a home! For me it is the place where I plan to set up my place of magical learning. Fun, alas, is something that I never have time for.

I must go, there is somebody knocking at the door.

---

Tuesday 8/4

I have been finding it very difficult to find accommodation until now. It is hard. Nobody recognises me, not even people that I remember clear as a bell. Either that or they don't want to admit to knowing me.

I have been wondering around this God-forsaken area for a very long time looking for lodgings - and I have slept under trees many times - so I was glad to see the large castle in the hills. I guessed that the inhabitants must be able to put me up. After all, something that size is bound to have at least one spare chamber that can put up a penniless Count until he can find a house of his own.

What I don't understand is why I was cast out. Ok, Kasey Strudwick was a half-blood. And her family were not noble. And she was not very bright. And ok, she didn't turn out to be the best wife. She did run off with that wastrel Bertram Bott after a month. And ok, the divorce brought shame and humiliation to my entire family. But why should they cast their own son out of the family because he fell in love with a beautiful snake? I can't control who I fall in love with.

Anyway, I dragged myself up to the castle in the rain and banged on the door, and after about five minutes a woman in a pink dress opened it. I recognised her at once to be Dame Helga Hufflepuff of Gothenburg. She was very beautiful, it has to be said. Her hair was worn loose exempting two plaits that fell around her pretty, innocent face. Her eyes, I noticed, were yellowy-amber. Very attractive. But somehow I didn't find myself attracted to her. Strange.

"Who are you?" she asked me. "Why have you come to this castle?"

"I am Count Salazar Slytherin," I said, trying to sound important despite being soaked to the skin. "I have come looking for accommodation. Can you put me up here?"

Dame Helga smiled.

"Of course we can help you," she said, kindly. "Come with me. I'll show you to an empty chamber where you can sleep for as long as you want to.

Feeling very gratified I followed the blonde woman to a flight of stairs. We were on the third step from the ground when a dark-haired woman in a silver gown turned the corner.

"Who was at the door?" she asked.

"This is Count Salazar Slytherin," said Dame Helga, gesturing towards me. "He's looking for lodgings, and we are going to provide them."

"We will?"

"We will," said Dame Helga, firmly. "Count Salazar, this is Lady Rowena Ravenclaw of Clackmannanshire, a great friend of mine and a fellow ward of this castle."

The brunette smiled, and suddenly I found myself falling for her, because when this woman smiled she suddenly became the most beautiful woman in the proximity. Dame Helga seemed to fade into obscurity near her. I suddenly noticed how her dark hair seemed to shimmer like a waterfall down her back, her blue eyes sparkled and her face lit up. She stopped smiling, but still she seemed beautiful. I hadn't realised just how striking she was.

"You also must meet Godric," continued Helga as she led me up the stairs.

"Why?" I asked, my mind still on the Lady Rowena. "Is he nice?"

"I dislike him," said Helga, "but you have to meet him because he is also a protégé of the castle. By the way, you never told me where you were Count of."

"I'm just a Count," I replied, feeling a little uneasy, "but my birthplace is Novgorod."

"Where is that?"

"Russia."

"Oh, Russia. I have never been there, I have spent most of my life in Gothenburg. That's in Sweden in case you didn't know. Oh, by the way, did I introduce myself? I'm Dame Helga Hufflepuff of Gothenburg. Call me Helga or Hellie."

"Er...ok."

"Godric is Earl of Anglesey, in Wales, and of course Rowena is from Clackmannanshire in Scotland. We're all here but we don't know exactly why. Rowena has some sort of insane plans but she's very serious. Something about setting a school up or a place of magical learning. Of course we'd have to hire teachers and buy lots more equipment for students so I'm really not to sure on the idea, you know, financially speaking. Are you from a wealthy background if you don't mind me asking?"

"I was before I was cast out," I said. I was kind of worried about the way this woman didn't seem able to close her mouth.

"You were cast out?" she said, with obvious angst. At least the babble that was constantly coming out of her mouth was well-meaning. "Why were you cast out?"

"I married a half-blood woman," I said. I'm a little touchy on the subject so I wasn't enjoying this. "Kasey Strudwick was her name. Completely beautiful but as it turned out a double-crossing witch. We were married for a month so now I'm the first Slytherin to get divorced. So I'm shunned."

"You poor man!" said Helga compassionately. "These'll be your chambers. You can stay here as long as you like, you can even make it your home if you like, I'm sure Rowena and Godric won't mind too much. Anyway, I'll leave you to settle in. Byeeee!"

She left me feeling a little concerned. Ok, she was really attractive, but she was a little over-bearing on the sweetness front. I looked around my new room. Well it was certainly roomy, but slightly overdone on the whole grey stone thing. I lay back on the bed.

No matter how hard I try I cannot get Lady Rowena out of my head. She's just so amazingly beautiful. It's so funny how one minute she's just a moderately attractive woman and then she smiles and she's the most beautiful woman in the room.

I lay on my new bed. I wondered what Earl Godric would be like briefly, before thoughts of Rowena overpowered my mind. Time to get some sleep in, I think.

---

Dear diary,

I made everyone make a pact about writing diaries. Rowena doesn't seem so keen on the idea. She doesn't understand how they work. But she will cotton on in the end, she always does. She's much too logical for her own good, I think.

Godric was being rather annoying today. I do not know what Rowena sees in him, he is so irritating. She thinks I don't know that she likes him, but I do. It's frankly easy to see. She's not very subtle. She often stares at him with a misty look on her face. Bluntly I think it's an appalling match. Rowena is kind, beautiful, wise and astute whilst Godric is aggravating, childish, dim and impertinent. Ye Gods he infuriates me! Sometimes I want to hang him from the ceiling of the dining room, the useless pretty-boy! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

We have another resident of the castle, and I suspect he shall be a permanent fixture. Count Salazar Slytherin of Novgorod. He is Russian. He has pale skin but his hair is black and quite long. He had it tied into a ponytail when I saw him. I must say it looked rather fetching. Maybe he's the dream man I've been looking for all this time? Ok, I only just met him, but he is handsome. He's got lovely green eyes; it's the first thing I noticed. All sparkly and shrewd-looking. Very calculating. He's probably really intelligent, a bit like a male version of Rowena!

I tried to come across as incisive, chatty and pleasant but instead I found the usual verbal diarrhoea spewing out of my mouth. I must have appeared to him a complete fool who talks rubbish constantly. It's how I come across to a lot of people.

Not men, though. Most men seem to fall in love with me. I can't imagine why. It's not that I'm particularly clever. I don't know, maybe it's the blonde hair. Apparently men are attracted to blonde hair. Or it could be the tight dresses. But then again in this corset-wearing day and age I haven't met any women under forty that don't wear tight dresses. Rowena wears them and men aren't falling around her feet saying, "Oh I love you I love you marry me marry me!"

Rowena says it's a good thing to have lots of men in love with you, and I guess she is right. She nearly always is. But it's so irritating having all these suitors calling every day and sending post! One can only reject a lovelorn man so many times. Most girls - including Rowena - say that I don't know how lucky I am.

I suppose Rowena wishes Godric would fall madly in love with her. But he's not in love with me. I guess that if it would make her happy I would like him to fall in love with her too, but I would much rather she falls out of love with him! She needs to find a nice man to give her heart to, not God the Sod. Ok, that's bad. I really need to improve on my insults. Rowena can come up with them quick as a tick, no sweat. She really is incredibly clever. It makes me feel like a total, total idiot, but there's nothing you can do really. There's no point in being jealous because it just makes you depressed. I may ask her for a few witty puns on Godric. But she'd probably be annoyed at me, seeing how much she adores him. Hmmm. Better not say anything.

After I had shown Salazar to his chambers I went straight up to Rowena's bedroom. I found her on her bed in her nightdress reading a book. Her nightdress is lovely. It's made of pale blue silk. Her dressing gown is also blue silk, but it's deeper, royal blue. The Ravenclaws are a very wealthy family, so Rowena can afford all these little luxuries, like silk nightwear. My dressing gown is flannel whilst my nightdress is cotton. It's yellow embroidered with black. I like yellow. I guess it's my favourite colour, although I don't wear it all the time. Rowena has a lot of blue dresses because of her family colours (blue and bronze). Her father buys her clothes. I looked sadly at my pink frock. Yes, I did like the pink, and the shape was nice, but it was nothing special. It wasn't ornate or fancy or ravishing. Rowena is by far the best-dressed lady in the castle. My clothes are nice, good quality, and to be fair quite expensive - the Hufflepuffs are by no means poor - but they don't match the beauty and grandeur of Rowena's dresses.

She put the book down (I noticed the title: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by someone I had never heard of. Newt Something or other) and smiled at me. She's stunning when she smiles. She's not physically beautiful. Her hair is dark brown and shiny, and her eyes are really deep blue, but bodily she's moderately attractive. Then she smiles and her whole face lights up. She has a stunning smile; it's something I envy her for. And she's so sweet, too, even if she is very serious. She may not be the prettiest, but Rowena Ravenclaw is one of the most beautiful people I know.

"Hello, Hellie," she said. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Did you see Salazar?" I asked, sitting down next to Rowena.

"I did. You introduced me to him," she said. "Of course I saw him. Why?"

"Did you notice how...well, different he is to other men?"

"I have to admit I haven't met anybody of his physique before. Very unusual. You don't generally find jet black hair on white people. He probably has oriental blood," she said. "Why?"

"Actually, he's from Novagood," I informed her.

"What?"

"Novagood," I said, surprised Rowena had never heard of it. "It's in Russia."

"You mean Novgorod?" she said, smiling. "Honestly, Hellie!"

"Whatever," I said. "It makes no difference to me."

"It should do," said Rowena. "You're not going to make a very good impression of the guy if you can't even remember where he is count of. And I'm assuming you do want to make a good impression?"

"What do you mean?" I said, sickness rising. Had she really noticed that I was...well, attracted to Count Salazar so quickly? I hoped what I felt did not show on my face.

"Well, I know you, Hellie," said Rowena. "You like to make good impressions. You like to be liked. I know you do. You even want Godric to like you, even though you don't like him. Even people you dislike you want to like you. I know that."

Thanks the Gods, I thought, but to Rowena I said, "Yeah, I guess. It's true. I hate not being liked. Does it not bother you? Being disliked, I mean."

"Are you saying people dislike me?"

"No!"

"I know, I know. But not really. I don't need to be liked by everyone," said Rowena matter-of-factly, rolling over on her bed. She's so tall when she stretches out she can put her head on the back of her pillow and stretch her toes out to touch the opposite bedstead. She's nearly taller than a man. She towers over me. I'm a little titch.

Sometimes I wonder what men see in me. I'm short and dim. But I digress.

"You know, Hellie, you're really..." began Rowena, obviously on the brink of some tantalising observation, when there was a knock at the chamber door.

"Come in," she said, sitting up sharply and making sure her long nightdress covered most of her legs and the V-neck didn't show indecent amounts of skin. Rowena is no tart.

That imbecile Gryffindor came into the room, and smiled that smile that makes me want to kill him and eat him.

"Just wondering if either of you ladies fancied a game of pool?" he asked. "It's a Muggle game but it's quite good fun. There's some Count Slithery chappy who said he'd play. Who invited him in, by the way? Was it you, Hufflepluff? He said it was some blonde girl."

"It's Hufflepuff," I said, scowling and hoping my face didn't look incredibly screwed up, "and yes I did. He needed lodgings and as we have plenty of room I said he could stay here for as long as he wants."

"Well good for you," said Godric sarcastically. "Do you fancy a game, Rowena?"

"No thank you," said Rowena, in a soft voice that always comes on when she speaks to Godric. "I was just about to retire, thank you. Maybe tomorrow."

"'Kay," he said, shrugging. Irritating pretty-boy. "What about you, Dame Helga?" he added, with a mock bow that drove me to the brink of smashing his stupid head against a stupid wall and painting "Hahaha" in his stupid blood. But I refrained from that.

"I'd rather not, thanks," I said, fixing him with my haughtiest stare. He laughed and left, nodding to Rowena. He didn't even glance at me. Good. I hate him, and I don't hate people.

"I think you should go, Hellie," said Rowena, stretching like a cat. "I'm about to go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Ok," I said, sadly. I'd been hoping to find out more about what Rowena thought of Salazar, and make some subtle hints about how she thought I could get him to like me.

I left Rowena's chambers and here I am now! I've written quite a lot today. Generally I don't write much. I guess nothing much happens here apart from Godric being a pain. Well, I must go.

---

Wednesday

I saw Godric just now at breakfast. I swear he gets more and more gorgeous every day! I'm glad I have so much self-control or I would just leap on him and kiss him to within an inch of his life! Yum...but I don't understand the robe thing. Why are all the garments he own red and/or gold? I mean, I have colours I like, and admittedly I have a lot of blue dresses, but that's because of my family colours. From what I can tell Godric has no sort of family crest, colours or otherwise. In fact I'm pretty sure the Earldom the Gryffindors have pretty much involves sponging around doing nothing and being desperately gorgeous. But red does suit him. It makes his hair look good.

The new arrival, Salazar Slytherin, tried to engage me in conversation at the breakfast table. He's a nice man, but he seems to come from a bit of a Muggle-Born hating family. Of course I know about the Slytherin clan, but he seems different. He's divorced from a half-blood woman who ran off with someone...either way he's divorced so therefore exiled from his family. Poor guy. I reckon he'll end up living here permanently.

---

Wednesday 9/4

She actually talked to me at breakfast! She! She who is my one and only one and one and only! Well, ok, that's going OTT, but she's such a lovely, sweet, beautiful, intelligent person!

Can't write, must sleep. So tired.

---

April 9^th 820

Hufflepluff made us write diaries. She made me do and unbreakable vow to at least start one. So I have to or I'll die. I don't know why she wants me to. She openly can't stand me.

I wonder if I'm picking up the right signals from Rowena. If I am I'm going to go for it soon. I reckon this new dude, Salazar, fancies her too. So if she likes me I'm going to make my move ASAP.

I saw her in her nightdress yesterday night. Ok I didn't see much but still. It was a silk dress with a V-neck. Hello? If anyone can make it look hot it's Lady Rowena Ravenclaw.

Of course, Hufflepluff could probably carry it off. I hate to say it but she's good-looking. Shame she's so annoying and sweet and dim. She hasn't done anything she shouldn't have in her life. She's too good for her own good. She'd probably apologise if she hit someone who was trying to kill her.

Salazar seems quite a nice guy, actually. He's some Russian Count who got divorced and his family kicked him out. You have to feel sorry for people whose own families reject them. I mean, mostly parents dote over their kids. If no one else will accept you, your families will, right? Well obviously not in Salazar's case.

Rowena's parents sent her away, mind you. But I can see why. She's a Seer, and they can be really creepy when they predict stuff. Apparently she kept telling everyone how they were going to die. It must have been bloody weird for her servants and stuff. Imagine doing the washing up when a twelve-year-old comes in and says, "I just saw you die, you're going to be 62 and get pneumonia," just like that. Creepy.

Rowena keeps the visions under control, though. If she does get them she hasn't told us about them. Salazar seemed to think that her being a Seer heightens the attraction. Actually it's one of the things that put me off initially. I mean, it's weird!

Salazar's a Parseltongue. I thought I'd mention that. We've all got special abilities then. I'm an Animagus, Rowena's a Seer, Salazar's a Parseltongue and Hufflepluff...actually I don't know what Hufflepluff is. I'm sure she's told me but that droning voice goes in one ear out the other. God she irritates me. Thinking she's so superior to me. She's such a PAIN.

I wonder how we all ended up here, sometimes. I know Rowena's parents own part of this place so she lives here, and mother and father own another part, but what about Hufflepluff? Her parents don't own anything outside of bloody Sweden. Why does she live here? Why can't she bugger off and live in her own castle instead of staying here and bothering me?

Oh well. These things are sent to try us, I guess.

Illustration: Rowena Ravenclaw