Rising from Embers

RISING FROM EMBERS
by shiiki

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Coming Home

June, 1977

‘To Zinnia Prewett,’ said Dumbledore gravely, raising his glass during the end-of-year feast. On their feet, everyone did likewise. Lily felt a lump in her throat as she swallowed.

‘And many of our ex-students, who have fallen this year in the fight,’ continued Dumbledore. ‘However, as long as we continue to believe in the Light, and work towards peace, their lives will not have been given in vain.

‘I pray that all of you will stay safe this summer. The world now is dangerous, and it pains me to say that there may be those of you who return with more grief, more heartache – or even not at all. But as long as I am here, I will promise that Hogwarts will always remain as a safe haven for all at any time.

‘To our seventh-years. You are graduating into a harsh reality. It will be time that you realise that this is not a fight where sitting on the fence is permitted. Lord Voldemort’s means of spreading discord are vast, and I urge you to stand together against his efforts – for it is together that we are strong.’

A warm hand closed around Lily’s clenched fist. She glanced sideways. James was staring straight at Dumbledore, hazel eyes flashing with determination. His hand over hers gave a small, comforting squeeze. Lily relaxed and leaned against him.

It really wasn’t so difficult to think about being brave when James was next to her.

~ * ~

Lily took as much time as she possibly could to pack her trunk. When she finally closed the lid with a heavy heart, a house-elf was already standing shyly in the doorway.

‘Ebby is sorry, miss, but Ebby is being sent to get the trunks to the train now.’

Lily took a last look around her. The beds were stripped, the decorations all taken down and packed up.

It wasn’t their dormitory any longer. Come September, a new group of eager-faced first-years would take over the room, excited and awed by the splendour as they had been seven years ago. They would live here for seven years, turn this room into home, until the heart-wrenching day when they, too, would have to leave …

There were tears pricking at her eyes as she made her way down the spiral staircase.

~ * ~

The fourth-year Ravenclaw girl came up to them as they were waiting for the horseless carriages to arrive. Well, the carriages pulled by the Thestrals, actually – but most people thought they were horseless.

James had known from day one what beasts they were. The memory was still amazingly clear – how everyone had believed him nuts except Remus, who quietly informed him that he too could see the frightening horses. And Hagrid had explained the matter to both of them. It had been the beginning of his friendship with the large gamekeeper.

More people saw them now, every year.

Lily stood apart from them, talking with Annemette Darlington in low voices. As the Thestrals came rumbling into sight, Lily pointed and the two girls hugged. Annemette ran along back to her group of friends.

‘Hey.’ Lily was back by his side. ‘You look serious.’

James shrugged. ‘Is she all right?’ A year ago, Annemette Darlington had been a suicidal, grieving girl recently orphaned by Voldemort. Now, she was still orphaned, but thankfully she no longer harboured intentions to end her own life.

‘She’ll be fine, I hope. Her relatives took her in, you know – the Dearborns.’

‘Oh. That’s good.’

‘She – well – she wished me luck. And –’ Lily blushed suddenly.

‘What?’

‘She said – well, she said she wanted to be like me. I can’t believe – I mean, that’s really …’

‘You’re a role model, Lily,’ grinned James. ‘The wonderful Head Girl we all look up to.’

‘Oh – that’s nonsense.’ She was still a deep shade of pink, though, and her pride at his words shone through despite her attempt to brush it off modestly. James laughed and pecked her on the cheek. She took his hand and started moving in the direction of the carriages.

‘Let’s go, James.’

~ * ~

It was unnaturally quiet in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express. For once, James and Sirius weren’t their usual noisy selves. Lily could barely remember a single journey when the two weren’t making loud jokes, or playing Exploding Snap, or running around the train carrying out a brilliantly atrocious prank.

It was Peter, surprisingly, who broke the silence.

‘What’s going to happen now?’ He sounded quite frightened – a feeling that Lily felt was mirrored in the pit of her stomach.

‘What else?’ said Sirius harshly. ‘We fight.’

‘We oppose Voldemort,’ amended James. ‘In whatever way we can.’

Lily studied the faces of the four boys carefully. James had a determined expression; Sirius’s dark face was stonily serious; Remus looked thoughtful; and Peter was apprehensive.

Briefly, she allowed herself to wonder what might have become of them all, had Voldemort not existed. James and Sirius could have been Quidditch stars, playing for England. Remus would make a fine researcher, or perhaps a teacher. Peter, with his amiable ways and willingness to please, might do well in a secretarial position.

Voldemort had changed all that – he’d stolen their dreams, and now they had to go out there and get them back. To fight for others who had fallen, whose dreams had been shattered irreversibly.

Only after that would they finally be able to truly think about their futures.

~ * ~

‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to find Pet when I’m back. I’m sure – oh, I don’t know – I hope she’s ready to see me again … I wonder how she’s done, she never wrote. I don’t think we’ll have much yet … I’ll have to change money at Gringotts – thankfully Mum and Dad started me an account when I was a first-year … even though there isn’t much there.’

Lily was fussing. James sighed, wishing he could offer her all the gold in his own Gringotts vault but knowing Lily wouldn’t have accepted it anyway.

‘What will you do when you get back?’

‘Settle things with Pet,’ said Lily firmly. ‘I’ll go home – the house wasn’t sold, thankfully, even if the lawyers settled bills and debts with most of the things inside.’

‘Will she – well, she didn’t write for the whole term –’ And not a peep out of her when you got hurt, even though McGonagall sent letters, James wanted to add, but didn’t.

‘It’ll be all right. Pet’s like that – maybe she wanted me to stay with her, I think – she was always after me to stay in the Muggle world, but you know I couldn’t have left Hogwarts. Now I’m out of school, it ought to be different. I hope I’ll get a job soon, I wouldn’t want her to have to support the both of us alone …’

‘Lily. Lily, stop.’ James cut off her flustered muttering mid-sentence. ‘I wish you didn’t have to worry.’

Lily smiled. ‘I’ll be all right.’

But James knew that she wasn’t, because she let him put his arms around her and hold her tight. Lily was afraid – but she wouldn’t say it.

~ * ~

Lily couldn’t help feeling small and vulnerable as she stepped out of the train station onto the pavement, dragging her school trunk behind her. The world outside Hogwarts felt very, very big. Very big and dangerous.

There was, of course, no one to meet her. She wondered if Petunia had even received the owl she had sent a week ago, as no reply had ever arrived. Then again, Petunia hadn’t answered a single letter from Lily since their parents had died.

‘Do you want to come to my place first?’ said James, who had followed her out.

It was a tempting idea – to forget her sister and seek refuge with James, who would always welcome her with open arms. But … Petunia was family. The only family she had left now. And you had to hold on to family, in a time of war. Lily’s resolve hardened: she would go home and find her sister, and they would make up for the previous months of silence between them. She shook her head firmly.

‘No – not now, James. I’ve got to go home.’ She stood and faced him. ‘I have to go back to my family.’

‘Your family … Lily, your sister …’ He looked as though he wanted to say something sour about Petunia.

‘Don’t, James,’ Lily warned him, before he could continue. She met his eyes defiantly as she said, ‘She’s still my only family … she won’t forsake me.’

James looked doubtful, but he backed down and relented with, ‘Shall I at least see you home, then?’

Again, Lily shook her head. ‘I’ll Apparate; it won’t take half a second. Don’t bother – no, really. Look – James, your parents are waiting. I’ll be fine. Go on, now. I’ll owl you.’

‘If you’re sure,’ said James uncertainly.

‘I am.’

James leaned forward to peck her cheek quickly. ‘Take care,’ he breathed into her ear, before he left, returning to his own family.

Squaring her shoulders, Lily reached for the handle of her trunk and made her way down the street in search of a suitable alleyway from which she could Disapparate unnoticed.

~ * ~

When Lily arrived at her destination, her first thought was that she must have accidentally picked the wrong location. This wasn’t her home as she remembered it: the hall was bare – it was as though someone had done an Evanesco on the furniture; the family pictures that had always been there had been stripped from the walls; there was no sign at all that this was a inhabited house.

Confused, Lily peered out of the window to get her bearings. Yes – this was her neighbourhood; that was her front yard, with the garden that had been her mother and sister’s pride and joy; and there was a tall, blonde woman at the gate, stooping to rearrange something. Lily’s heart leapt with relief at the sight of her sister. Whatever the house looked like – it didn’t matter. There was still someone here for her to come home to.

‘Pet!’ she cried happily, bursting out the front door. Her sister turned at the sound of her voice, her eyes widening with – was it surprise? ‘Pet, I’m home!’

But Petunia did not open her arms in welcome, nor did she even smile in greeting. She took a step backwards and crossed her arms across her bony chest.

‘What are you doing here?’

Lily froze, as though Petunia had dumped a bucket of cold water over her head. ‘I – I finished school. I’m home. It’s – I sent you an ow- a letter. Did it get here? You’re – you’re not still angry with me, are you? It’s been so long since …’

‘This isn’t our home any more,’ said Petunia crisply. She stepped aside and Lily took in the words on the sign that her sister had been fixing to the gate.

SOLD, it read, in big red letters. And a similar notice on the ground, which had evidently just been taken down, showed that the house had previously been up for sale.

‘You – you sold the house,’ said Lily. ‘But – how – isn’t it … don’t I have to sign papers for it …’

‘I think you’ll find,’ said Petunia icily, ‘that your magical –’ she spat this like it was a bad word ‘– laws have a separate system from the normal government. You apparently don’t exist once you enter that school of yours.’

‘I don’t … exist?’

‘I told Mum and Dad’s lawyers you had died in that accident as well. They were quite willing to believe this since all your records had been removed somehow by your magic people. And for all I know, you could have, with all that you get up to at that school of yours!’

‘But – Petunia, how are you going to explain to them now that I’m here?’

‘You have no business being here, Lily Evans!’ said Petunia sharply. ‘I asked you so many times, I gave you so many chances, but you wouldn’t give up that crackpot school of yours!’

‘Hogwarts is not a crackpot school!’

‘And in the end, what use is that magic of yours? You used it to save your own skin, but when it came to Mum, oh no, she wasn’t good enough to be saved –’

‘I couldn’t do anything about that! Petunia! Don’t you think I felt awful about it too?’

‘Then why didn’t you save her? Forget it. What I’m saying is that you made your choice long ago, and I’m not part of it. So leave me alone, and don’t bring that magic of yours down on me. I don’t want any bit of it.

‘And this house doesn’t belong to you or me any more. I don’t care where you’re going to stay now, you magic people probably have all your own answers to that, but this isn’t your home.’

‘Where are you staying then?’

‘As if I’d tell you,’ scorned Petunia. But then her expression softened a little, and she relented enough to say, ‘I’m getting married next year. I have – I have plans. ’

‘Won’t you – will you still keep in touch with me? You’re my sister, and I –’

Petunia’s face hardened again. ‘You aren’t my sister any more,’ she said, through gritted teeth. ‘Understand that, Lily Evans. As far as I’m concerned, my sister is dead.’

She couldn’t have hurt Lily more had she actually struck her. For a moment, her vision blurred in an angry red haze. Lily wanted to grab Petunia, to shake her and make her be reasonable. Anything to make Petunia take back those ugly words.

Her wand was out and pointed towards her sister before she realised what she was doing. Petunia’s sharp intake of breath brought her to her senses again. No magic she could do – short of Imperio, and that she would’t do – would convince Petunia. What was she thinking? Lily’s hand fell limply back to her side, the fingers clutching her wand feeling numb.

‘I am your sister,’ she whispered pleadingly.

Petunia turned away, refusing to look at her. The first tear escaped Lily’s eyes and rolled slowly down her cheek. She couldn’t bear it – her sister, her only sister had refused to acknowledge her as family anymore. She was … she was really and truly alone.

Her legs seemed to have developed a mind of their own. They turned and took her away from Petunia and the house that was no longer theirs, breaking into a run down the streets upon which she’d grown up.

She could remember playing tag with the neighbour children, riding a bicycle, walking to school along this very street – all with her sister. When she was five, they’d found their way to the beach. Lily had loved sitting there, listening to the waves lap on the sand, just reading, or watching the clouds above her head.

The beach was still there, the waves crashing violently upon the surf. Dark clouds were gathering overhead. Lily closed her eyes and stood facing the sea, letting the salty wind blow into her face.

Five minutes passed. Lightning flashed across the sky. She was going to be caught in a rainstorm. She didn’t know if it had started to drizzle; her cheeks were already wet.

~ * ~

James barely heard his parents as they discussed his future, now that he had left school, in bright cheery tones. He was wondering how Lily’s reunion with her sister had gone – or if she’d even found her sister. He still couldn’t understand why she had turned him down when he’d offered to go with her. But she had got that stubborn, determined look in her eyes – the same tenacious spark that had been present every time she’d told him to lay off Snape or scolded or nagged at him. So he’d acquiesced to her wishes.

But when he thought of the last time he’d left her at King’s Cross to meet her family on her own and the tragedy that had befallen her then, James wondered if he’d done right in letting her go again.

‘Why don’t you just go find her?’ said Sirius. ‘You know where she lives, don’t you?’

James knew the address by heart. He opened his mouth to say so, but Sirius interrupted him.

‘Go,’ he ordered, a smile twitching about his lips.

He excused himself to his parents, nodded gratefully to Sirius, and Disapparated with a pop.

James arrived in the middle of Lily’s house. He hadn’t wanted to pop right in uninvited, but he didn’t want to take the chance of appearing out of mid-air onto a street full of Muggles.

The first thing that struck him was the bareness of the house. It had been stripped of its furniture, and looked as if it hadn’t been lived in for a long while. Even the Shrieking Shack was more inviting. He was wondering if he had made a mistake, until he looked out of the window and saw the two girls by the gate.

Lily’s sister was blonde. James had seen her only a handful of times, but had never had time to scrutinise her in detail. Petunia Evans was tall and skinny, with sleek, fair hair that fell across her shoulders in soft waves, rather like Lily’s. James supposed she would be pretty, if not for the disgusted expression she wore across her slightly horse-like face.

James didn’t even have to hear the two girls’ conversation to know that this was no warm welcome home for Lily – her body language said it all. He watched her recoil visibly – Petunia must have lashed out at her – and turn, her legs picking up speed as she started to run. James felt anger boil up in him. Her sister didn’t even seem to care! She picked up a sign and walked stiffly back towards the house. The front door opened.

Petunia let out a high pitched scream and dropped the signboard she was holding. For Sale, it said. Without thinking, James moved forward and clamped a hand over her mouth. She tried to bite him, and he removed his hand quickly, warning instead, ‘Hey – just stop yelling, will you? I don’t want to use a Silencing Charm.’

Petunia glared at him. ‘You’re one of her people.’

‘I’m a wizard, if that’s what you mean.’

‘What do you want? You can’t come charging into people’s houses unannounced, isn’t that against your laws?’ she spat. James decided to ignore this. He focused on the signboard.

‘You’re selling the house?’

‘It’s already been sold,’ said Petunia, in a clipped tone. ‘Though I don’t see how that’s any of your business.’

‘It’s my business,’ retorted James, ‘because it concerns Lily, and she’s my – she’s my girlfriend.’ It felt rather daring to say that – James couldn’t help the thrill that ran down his spine. Lily, his girlfriend, at long last.

Petunia stared defiantly at him. Her hands moved up to her hips. The action reminded James vividly of Lily, although the two girls looked nothing like each other.

‘You’re her only family,’ he continued. ‘Do you know how much she cares about you? Don’t you even give a damn about her? Did you know she was injured last February? You’re her sister, but where were you when she needed her family?’

‘I don’t care about what Lily gets up to at that school of hers.’

‘Did a bloody Dementor suck out your soul? How heartless can you get?’

Petunia drew her hand back, but he caught her wrist before she could slap him. His reflexes were quick, thanks to his Quidditch training. She wrenched her hand away, furious.

‘Don’t tell me how to act,’ she said, breathing heavily. ‘It’s you – James Potter – oh yes, I know who you are – you stole my sister from me and now you dare to come and tell me what to do –’

‘I didn’t steal Lily,’ James objected.

‘No? I told her to come back from that school, I asked her to be normal, I even begged her to be safe, but she’d never leave – and I knew it must be because she wanted to stay with her friends there. She’s evidently made her choice, and it’s to stay with you in your stupid world and you can jolly well take her and get out of my life!’ Petunia exploded.

James found himself at a loss for words. Petunia turned her back on him, and put a hand on the doorknob. Suddenly, she looked back, hesitating.

‘What are Dementors?’ she asked, out of the blue.

Once he had got over the shock of Petunia – who had more of less just yelled at him to keep magic out of her life – asking him to explain magic, he answered, ‘Probably the worst creatures to ever cross the planet. Guarded Azkaban – at least until Voldemort got them to join him. Soul-sucking hooded monstrosities. They take all the happiness out of you, and if they get close enough …’

‘Stop!’ Petunia looked sorry that she’d asked. James couldn’t help feeling a fleeting, vindictive sort of pleasure at her discomfort. ‘I – I’m leaving. Don’t – don’t stop me. And don’t follow me. Lily’s yours now. You – you keep her away from me.’

~ * ~

Lily was soaking wet when she returned to the house. Petunia was nowhere in sight – not that Lily would have expected her to hang around anyway. Her heart was aching – she’d as good as lost the last of her family. Suddenly, she wanted so much to go home – only home was Hogwarts, not this empty house where the ones she’d loved were dead and gone.

She was prepared to use Alohomora on the door, expecting it to be locked, but it opened easily. She stumbled into the empty hall, yanked the door shut behind her, and slumped back against it, feeling utterly drained.

It was then that she realised that someone else was in the house. Someone with messy jet-black hair and hazel eyes that widened with anxiety as they took in her dripping state.

Someone who willingly opened his arms for her to run into despite the fact that she was cold and wet and not at all very pleasant to hold.

She clung to James and realised that he and her friends were the only family she would have now. And home was wherever they were.

THE END

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A/N: I almost can’t believe I’ve reached this point. I owe a great deal to my lovely beta jamc91, who is always ready to keep my characterisations in check. She’s amazing for sticking with me and this story for this long, and I really want to say a big thank you to her!

I started Ashes more than a year ago, and the support that has grown for this story has been amazing. I’m so very grateful to everyone who's taken the time to read and review this story; all your comments have been wonderfully encouraging, and they make me want to write more, and strive to improve at it. I can’t possibly thank each and every one of you personally here, but I do try to reply to everyone who’s reviewed. Your support means so much to me!

This story will be continued in the final instalment of the trilogy, Falling with Grace, which I hope to post very soon (and update regularly enough to make it before July 21!) Thank you all for reading RfE, and I hope you’ll enjoy the sequel!

-shiiki