You've Got to Live!

A month later, Hermione appeared in front of Harry with a vial of clear liquid.

"Your cure," she said softly. Harry stood up from his office desk and walked up to her. He looked at Hermione carefully. They hadn't seen each other since their visit to his castle. Harry had wanted to meet her, but she'd been busy. He knew better than to disturb her. He had been surprised when he had received a note and a potion from Snape a few days later. The note was short and crisp, saying that he was to take one teaspoon of the potion every night before going to bed. Snape had not mentioned the use of the potion, and Hermione had just owled him to take it without questions now, though she promised that she would explain later. Harry had obeyed, and had been feeling much better than previously. He hated to admit that Snape had helped him, but he hadn't forgotten his manners and Snape's contribution to the war, so he'd sent a thank you note and some chocolates back.

Hermione looked very tired and worn out. Harry wondered when she'd slept last. He felt guilty, knowing that he was the cause of her exhaustion, but he was glad that he still had such caring friends. He took the bottle from Hermione and stared at it for sometime.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly.

"Positive. You'll be back to normal in a week."

"Thank you."

Hermione settled herself on a chair and Harry took the other. They both appraised each other.

"Are you not happy?" Hermione asked after some time.

"I don't know, Hermione, honestly, I don't know."

"Why?"

"I don't think that I deserve to live."

"Care to explain?"

"Well, I am a murderer for one thing...I killed Voldemort...and three other budding Dark Lords after that...and I don't even feel any remorse for it..."

"So?"

"People around me are in constant danger. In attempts to kill me, the Dark witches and wizards end up killing people I care for...I bring danger wherever I go...more people have died because of me than anyone else."

"And?"

"I terrify people. They are afraid of me...afraid of the things I've done...afraid of my power...afraid of what I may do..."

"I thought you were smart enough to distinguish between respect and fear. Anyway, is that all?"

"Do you really want to hear more, Hermione?"

"Certainly."

"I bring nothing but misery to people. My life is a big problem, and a problem limited not only to myself, but extending to those around me as well."

Hermione merely cocked an eyebrow. She was glad that she was sitting, for she felt sure that her knees would have given away hearing Harry speak in this manner. She had always thought of Harry as a pillar of strength. She had seen him hurt many times, but he had always recovered, even from the most terrible losses. Now she realised what he had been hiding under that brave smiling face all these years. She wondered how he had managed it. Her heart went out to him. She controlled her tears with great difficulty. Harry needed strength right now. She could not be weak, not when he needed her the most. Specially as Ron was not there...

Her mind snapped back to reality. Harry had buried his face in his hands and was sobbing quietly. Hermione quickly cast a distracting spell on the door of his office. She pulled her chair close to her best friend and enveloped him in a tight hug, not knowing what else to do.

"Don't cry, Harry...it was not your fault..."

Harry looked up with a tear stained face. "It was," he said quietly.

"No, Harry. Listen to me. You didn't choose to do anything. It was all forced upon you. You were not given a choice. You had to kill Voldemort and the other Dark Lords, you had to do it for the greater common good; you had to do it to save the wizarding world. You are the saviour, Harry, not the murderer. If you hadn't killed them, we all would be dead. You protected us. You said that you didn't feel any remorse. What do you call this futile guilt then? You are punishing yourself for things that you should be proud of! Snap out of it, Harry! You have done nothing wrong. It was not your fault! And as for bringing danger to people, do you realise how many people you have saved? You have saved more people in you life than the rest of the world put together. I can't even count the number of times you saved my life! Do you think people are afraid of you? They respect you, you moron! They admire you! They adulate you! You're the hero for all young children. Come with me, I'll show you what people think of you. And for Merlin's sake, stop making your life miserable. No one- I repeat, no one in the whole world deserves a happy life more than you. Now wash your face, take a leave and come with me. Merlin knows that you deserve a break! Apparate to my apartment in ten minutes, ok? I'll be waiting! And drink that thing I gave you."

Harry wiped his tears and stared at her. He drank the liquid in the vial and made a face. It tasted awful. Hermione smiled at him and Disapparated. Harry followed her instructions to the letter.

Hermione dressed quickly and tidied her appearance. Muttering a quick spell to get rid of her unkempt appearance, she consulted her watch. Five minutes before Harry's arrival. She sat down on her comfortable overstuffed chair and let her mind race. She was glad that she had not told Harry the entire truth. The potion was only a part of the treatment he required. He had to be made to realise that life is worth living. He had to be kept happy. Knowing his strong will power, Hermione realised that he could counter the effects of the potion in a matter of a few years. He had to be made to feel loved and cared for before that. Mental happiness was essential for a full recovery. If she could keep him happy, he would be fine. A week of happiness and the potion would be rendered free from the power of his will. She started thinking of various ways to keep her friend happy.

Right on time, Harry appeared in front of her with a bunch of roses. She smiled at him and murmured a "Thank you" before planting a kiss on his cheek. Harry blushed and Hermione smiled more broadly.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

"We'll go to Hogsmeade first. We will need to pick up some stuff before we go there."

"Uh, Hermione, where are we going?"

"Patience is a virtue, Mr. Potter, and you shall not be told where we are going till we reach there."

"Ok."

They Apparated to Hogsmeade, and Hermione bought a cartload of sweets from Honeydukes. Harry, not knowing what to do, followed suit. After they had bought as much as they could carry, Hermione told him to hold on to her while she Apparated.

"But Double Apparition is..."

"Dangerous. I know. But have you forgotten that Hermione Granger is an expert on Multiple Apparition? I can safely Apparate with three people anytime, and with ten in an emergency!"

"Sorry."

"It's ok, Harry. Hold on to me!"

They appeared in front of an old building. Harry looked around. He had never come here before. His eyes fell to a sign board and his insides froze with guilt.

Whitechapel Orphanage for Magical Children

He stared at Hermione in shock, not believing his eyes. He had never known that there were any such things as orphanages for their kind of people. He realised that this must be the place where the children of the victims of the Dark side were sent. A wave of nausea passed over him. If he had been more careful, planned better, these children would not have been orphaned.

Hermione was, to say the least, shocked at Harry's reaction. It was a few moments before comprehension dawned on her. He was blaming himself again. She scolded herself mentally. She ought to have taken him somewhere else. She had thought that the children at the orphanage would cheer him up. They had wanted to meet him since ages, and were always asking her to bring him along. Many of them worshipped Harry. She thought of turning back, but a chubby old woman had already appeared at the door and was beaming at her.

"Hermione!" said Sally Anders happily. Some children popped up next to her immediately, their faces lighting up at the sight of Hermione. Sally's eyes wandered to Harry.

"Hermione, is that - is that, by Merlin! Harry Potter! Welcome Mr. Potter! The children will be so pleased to see you! Hermione, you should have told us earlier!"

All the kids of the orphanage had run out at the mention of Harry's name. They crowded around Harry and Hermione. One little boy grabbed Hermione's hand.

"Why didn't you come all these days?" he asked.

"Oh, Brian, I'm so sorry. I was really busy, honey. But I'll make up for it. How would you like some Honeydukes chocolates?"

Brian beamed at her as he took the chocolates. "You're forgiven! And specially as you brought Harry Potter!"

Harry found himself smothered by kids. They seemed so excited to see him. Somehow he managed to distribute the sweets he had brought before being mobbed. Hermione stood next to him, smiling at the children. Harry found himself doing the same. He wondered if he was wrong to blame himself after all. These children did not seem to think that he had done anything wrong. They seemed to actually like him.

"Let Mr. Potter come inside!" Sally shouted at the top of her voice. The children immediately went inside, dragging Harry and Hermione. The moment they were seated, Brian grabbed Harry's hand.

"Mr. Potter..." he began.

Harry smiled at him. "Call me Harry," he said.

Brian seemed to be exhilarated at this.

"Harry, I'm Brian, Harry. I have always wanted to meet you Harry. When I grow up, I want to be just like you, Harry! I can't wait to go to Hogwarts!"

Harry beamed at him and ruffled his hair. All the kids came and introduced themselves to him, and seemed pleased beyond words when Harry told them to address him as 'Harry' and not 'Mr. Potter.' Harry had a task remembering all their names. A little girl called Valia suddenly grabbed his hand.

"Umm, Harry?"

"Yes, Valia?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, dear! Anything for you!" Harry said happily and produced a pink rose in his hand and presented it to the girl, who almost fell over with excitement.

"Thank you! You know, you are much nicer than I thought you would be. I thought you would be a bit, you know, snooty kind. But you are so nice! I'm so happy that you came here! You will visit us again, won't you?"

Harry felt his eyes water, and controlled himself with a massive effort.

"Sure, Valia! I'll come as often as I can!"

The girl grinned.

"Where's Zephyr, Valia?" Hermione asked suddenly, "I haven't seen him today."

"He must be sulking somewhere with that book you sent him. Honestly, I couldn't care less. Why do you bother with him, Hermione?" said Valia.

Harry was surprised to hear such venomous words from a girl as sweet as Valia.

"Who is Zephyr?" he asked Sally.

"Well, he's an illegitimate Malfoy. Muggle mother died during childbirth. He was sent to his Muggle relatives, but he ran away from there. Apparently, they didn't treat him properly. No wonder, the child makes it so difficult to love him!"

Harry looked around and noticed a pale and skinny boy lurking in a corner, unnoticed by everyone. He slipped out and approached him. He held out his hand.

"Hello Zephyr. I'm Harry."

"Everyone knows you, Mr. Potter."

"Would you like some sweets?"

"No, thank you. I was expecting Hermione to bring me a new book. I've memorised Hogwarts: A History."

"Why don't you come to Flourish and Botts with us? You can buy all the books you like there. Or I could take you to my best library."

"No, thanks, Mr. Potter. I do not like charity," said the boy and walked away. Harry went after him.

"It's not charity, my boy. I'll make a deal with you. You get good grades at Hogwarts in return for the books. How's that?"

"Very well. I expect my letter soon. I'll be eleven in ten days."

"You'll get your letter in the end of July, Zephyr. I used to get mine at that time. That's still three months away. So, you plan to read everything before going to school?"

"I shall try to."

"You remind me of Hermione."

"You love her, don't you? I'm so glad she got rid of that red haired guy. I knew he was deceiving her. You're better, considering that you're the Harry Potter."

Harry stared at the boy in shock.

"How did you know?" he asked.

Zephyr laughed. "Come on, Mr. Potter. It's written all over your face. And she likes you, too. I wonder why she didn't come for a whole month. I missed her a lot. She's the only one who has ever been really good to me. The people here don't like me, but still, they are better than my aunt."

"I'm sorry, Zephyr. I was the reason she didn't come here. She was busy researching and developing this potion for me to cure me."

"Oh? So the great Harry Potter is vulnerable after all. Who would have thought?"

Harry smiled. This boy was reminding him of Draco more and more.

"Draco Malfoy is not my father," the boy said quietly.

Harry was shocked again. How did this boy know what he was thinking?

Zephyr smiled. "Well, Hermione tells us tales of your adventures in school, which include tales of Draco Malfoy, who is a great friend of yours now, I believe. I guess he is my step brother. It was Lucius who violated my mother and left her there to die! I'm glad he's dead!" Tears poured down his face. Harry knelt on the ground and put an arm around his shoulders. The child sobbed on his shoulder for sometime before moving away.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. Harry groped in his pocket and took out a bar of chocolate. He held it out to the boy.

"Have it, dear. You'll feel better. I'll talk to Draco-"

"No."

Harry stared at the boy.

"No, Harry. I don't want to go there. I hate my name! I wish I could change it."

Harry placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Come," he said softly, and led the boy to Hermione.

"There you are, Zephyr!" said Hermione the moment she saw him, "I've been waiting for you to appear. Here, I got three new books for you." She held out the books. Zephyr took the books and gave her a small smile and muttered, "Thank you."

Hermione raised her eyebrow. Harry gave her an almost imperceptible nod and turned to the rest of the children.

"How would you all like a lunch at my place?"

The children applauded. Sally came forward.

"That would be a treat, Harry."

"Can we explore your castle?" Brian asked.

"Sure, Brian."

"Can we see your house elves?" asked a girl called Anna.

"Sure, Anna."

"Can we have cakes and ice cream?" asked a chubby little boy named Jude.

"Of course, Jude. You just have to tell me what you want to eat, and you'll get it."

"How will we get there?" Valia asked.

Hermione smiled. "We can Floo."

"We don't have enough powder," said Kate, a tall girl already in Hogwarts in her third year. Everyone's faces fell.

"Don't worry, kids," said Harry, brandishing his wand. A big pot of Floo powder appeared.

"Follow me," he said. He took a pinch of the powder and stepped into the fire, yelling, "Potter Castle!"

Sally followed. Then the children. Ultimately, only Zephyr and Hermione were left.

"Come, honey," said Hermione.

"I don't want to go."

"Why, baby?"

"I'm not a baby! I- I just don't feel like it. He's too good. I like him. I wish I were his son. Go ahead, Hermione."

"No, darling. You're coming with me. Harry will kill me if I appear without you!"

"Nah. He loves you too much. You should marry him, you know. He'll keep you happy. And he needs you. He is not a very happy man, Hermione."

"I know," Hermione sighed, "You're far more mature than your age, Zephyr."

Zephyr smiled at her.

"Is there a problem?" came a soft voice, startling both of them. They turned to see Harry stepping out of the fire with another pot of Floo powder. He looked at both of them and shrugged.

"I thought you'd run out of the powder, so I brought some more," he said, "Come on, you two. Dobby and Winky are delighted. Kreacher doesn't seem to be very happy, but at least he's not grumbling. He was asking for you, Hermione."

"You came back for me?" Zephyr asked.

"Yeah. Couldn't leave you here, could I?" grinned Harry.

"Thank you."

The children were enjoying the lunch immensely. Zephyr, seated between Harry and Hermione, turned to Harry when Hermione was busy talking to Brian on her other side.

"Propose to her soon. She'll accept. She loves you," he whispered to Harry.

Harry asked him nervously, "Are you sure?"

"Positive. Go on. Do it right now. Conjure a bunch of red roses and some chocolate and go down on your knees."

Harry nodded and swallowed nervously. As soon as the lunch was over, he took everyone to the hall and did as Zephyr had instructed him. He went down on one knee, held out the flowers and chocolate to Hermione and asked, "Hermione, will you marry me?"

Hermione blushed as she accepted the gifts.

"Yes."