Lost Souls

Chapter 5: Darkness Beckons

Second year began with Rowena once again alone on the train, though this time she was not so frightened, merely grateful to be away from Remus and her family after a long summer. Her parents had spent the holiday trying to persuade her to mend things with Remus, which she was not willing to do. It wore on her patience so that the random, impartial bustle of the train station was a welcome change.

She attempted to find her Slytherin friends, but had no immediate success, having arrived so early that there were few students on the train yet. Instead, she found a completely empty compartment near the end and took a seat--they could find her easily enough.

In short order, she engrossed herself in one of her new books. Her father had sent along extra books on the healing sciences that year. He was hoping she'd become a Healer instead of an Auror, and had spent much of the summer encouraging her mild interest in the art.

Her hair was longer--she had complained to her mother that it seemed her hair was the only thing about her that was growing, as she was still somewhat short for her age. The childish plaits were gone, as she let it hang loose down her back. Pulling the shiny, honey-brown mass together and over one shoulder, she settled into the seat and was soon oblivious to anything but her book. A familiar, sarcastic voice startled her back to awareness of her surroundings, and she looked up from her reading.

He was taller, a bit broader in the shoulder, though still very thin, and still dressed in his standard black. His face, though, had changed. It was still sharp and angular, with his very distinctive nose and expressive black brows arching gracefully over fathomless obsidian eyes--but the expression was even colder than before. The sneer and words had a harsh bite of cruelty she had only heard him use sparingly for effect last year, but now seemed a permanent part of his tone.

"Ah, the distant Lupin cousin. May I presume to share this compartment in peace and quiet, or shall I seek elsewhere?"

She was a bit unsettled by the bitterness in his address, but tried not to show her nervousness. A ridiculous flush of warm pleasure washed over her for a moment. He remembered her name! Her childishly fascinated heart pounded madly in her chest, and she feared she might actually blush under his piercing stare.

Turning her eyes back to her book rather than his inscrutable face, she made an attempt at mimicking the same bored tone and identical words he had said to her last year when their situations were reversed.

"Suit yourself and sit where you please."

He sat across from her. If it was possible to portray angry aggressiveness in the simple act of sitting, then he did so. He withdrew a book of his own; one with no title on the front, but heavy and bound in strange, pale leather. Instead of turning to it immediately, he scrutinized the one she was reading.

"Healing Arts, Miss Lupin?" he sneered at her. "How very noble of you. Is that your career choice then? You are young to be making such a decision."

The warm pleasure she had felt upon his arrival was soon replaced by an uncomfortable, squirmy sense of nervousness in the pit of her stomach.

It was impossible to deny her fascination with him to herself, but the truth was Rowena felt both thrilled and dismayed that he would choose to sit with her. She didn't want to draw his cruel teasing to her--which she surely would do if he suspected that she was so intrigued by him--so she attempted to convey bored indifference in her tone.

"I thought we were sharing this compartment in 'relative peace and quiet', Mr Snape?" she asked, smiling softly at him in spite of her best intentions. "If it will hurry the return to that quiet, I will answer your questions.

"My dad's a Healer, and wants me to be one. He thinks it's a safer job than my own goal--I think I might like to be an Auror. I'm reading the books he gave me because I enjoy learning new things. I'm not at all ready to make any decisions. I'm just trying to learn as much as possible about any subjects I can to help me choose when the time comes."

He smirked and leaned forward, his tone still mocking but quieter, almost conspiratorial, "Ever the rational Ravenclaw, hmm, Miss Lupin? Do you really wish to learn about whatever subjects you can? There is such a thing as dangerous knowledge, you know."

She shivered involuntarily at the silky caress of his voice when he said 'dangerous', as though the word--the way he spoke it--was a lover's kiss. Her eyes widened involuntarily as she looked at him, a deer in the headlights of his riveting gaze. The smirk became slightly mocking, as though he could read her thoughts and found them highly amusing. His brow arched and his silken voice continued, seductively.

"Yet if you are to be an Auror--a very brave choice, by the way--you should indeed delve deeply into knowledge."

As she gazed at him, a tantalizing smile gradually overspread his features, but it had an evil edge and gave her a chill of apprehension to see it. Slowly, deliberately, he held out the book he had in his hand. His voice became even more alluring and seductive as he spoke. "Would you like to taste the forbidden fruit, Miss Lupin? Do you have the courage to explore the prohibited? Or the strength of character to resist the temptation?"

Her eyes were drawn, almost unwillingly, from his face to the book. On closer examination, the pale leather looked horribly like tanned human skin. There were runes on the binding that she had not seen from a distance, which could have been written in blood. There was indeed a seduction in that book, in those markings. Something that called to her, asking her to read, to learn, to know... promising knowledge, and with knowledge would come power. It was a siren song of seduction, assurances of glory and wealth and fame, whispering of forbidden things and all manner of rewards....

Her eyes were bright and her heart raced. A pink flush overspread her cheeks, and her lips parted as her breathing quickened. Her mouth was suddenly very dry and a strange, longing hunger filled her like yearning lust, which she was far too young to understand or recognise for what it was. It called to her, and she wanted to answer. She wanted to touch that book, to read it, to plunder its knowledge, wield its power and gain the strength it promised.

Somewhere, deep in the farthest recesses of her mind, the tiny rational voice in her head chided her over such nonsense. It was the same voice that derided her whenever she indulged in whimsical daydreams concerning the boy before her, or wished for the impossible. The same voice that had already told her, again and again, she would forever be too timid and frightened to have any hope of being an Auror, no matter how exemplary her marks might be.

The book offered her power, and with power would come courage to overcome that timidity!

Her internal voice scoffed... when had she ever wanted power or glory or fame? She, who was too shy to even speak up in class with the correct answer because of the room full of classmates who would look at her as she spoke? Ridiculous! This sort of power wasn't for her!

Yet she wanted it--just by looking at it, she wanted it.

Even knowing that if she attained it, she would hate it. Love it and hate it at the same time.

And then she knew. This was the lure of Dark Magic. The seductive promise of whatever your heart desired. Yet underneath it was the cost--to give over your free will completely and let the magic control you at its whim.

With great effort, she forced her eyes from the book and leaned back, away from its seduction and Severus--who had his own unfathomable grasp on her interest. She looked into his eyes as though she might draw courage from doing so, even though he was the source of the temptation. Shaking her head, she tried to swallow, though her mouth was paper-dry. She found that she was trembling slightly, and felt the chill of perspiration on her lip.

"No," she whispered. The word sounded breathless and forced. But then her voice found strength with the utterance and she was able to continue in stronger tones. "No, I want to find my own strength--if I have any at all--not a false or external one."

For an instant, she thought she saw a flash of something in his eyes. Approval? Disappointment? Admiration? Envy? It was gone in an instant, the gleaming black eyes shuttering themselves again behind the sneering veneer, and he laughed cruelly.

"No Gryffindor bravery in you, is there, Miss Lupin? Suit yourself; I'll not offer again. You cannot begin to appreciate what you have just declined."

"No, I'm sure I can't," she replied simply and then returned to her book. She couldn't read it, only hide behind it and think miserably about what was happening to this boy.

The promise of power and revenge must seem sweet to him indeed after all he had experienced. She didn't blame him, didn't even begrudge him his decision. But she was saddened. That his brilliance would be lost to Darkness was a pity. Her fascination for him did not decrease, but she now viewed him as a lost soul, as potential wasted and perhaps forever gone.

The rest of the train ride was spent in total silence, and they never again shared a compartment alone.

One Saturday in March, Rowena headed to the Library for some intensive revision. Exams were coming up, and she wanted to be prepared. She sat at a lone desk, but she could hear some Gryffindor girls chattering at a nearby table. Lily Evans was among them.

"You won't believe what happened last night!" Lily said in a breathless whisper to the girls.

"What? I knew it had to be something big. Remus and James are both really furious with Sirius. I never thought those boys would have a falling out," said one of the girls excitedly.

"Well, I don't know the details," Lily began in a whisper, "James won't even tell me, so it has to be something really secret. But Sirius did something, some kind of prank, to try to hurt Severus Snape! Remus said if James hadn't stopped him in time, Severus would have been killed!

"As it is, I've never seen Severus looking so enraged--and you know how angry he can get. It must be true, though, because Sirius is now on detention for the next month, he lost 100 house points and he's banned from Hogsmeade visits for the rest of the year. I've never heard of Dumbledore being that angry.

"It seems to be Sirius's doing alone, because James and Remus didn't get any reprimand at all. In fact, James was awarded house points for saving Severus' life--and he's going to get some sort of award for special services."

The girls all chattered excitedly over the news, speculating what the prank could have been that was so life threatening. One girl voiced the opinion, seconded by others, that Snape was such an unpleasant git it wouldn't have been a huge loss if Sirius had succeeded. Another giggled at how angry Severus would be to have to be indebted to James for saving his life, seeing as how they hated each other so much.

Rowena left the library, sickened by what she had overheard. She wandered the corridors and grounds anxiously for hours until at last she caught a glimpse of Severus. He was sitting under the beech tree by the lake in spite of the chilly weather, and he indeed looked more intensely enraged than she had ever seen him. But he also looked whole and unhurt, so that she was at last able to return to her studies.

The next Quidditch match was Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Rowena disliked attending Quidditch games. She much preferred to read or study, as her terrible fear of heights made getting in and out of the stands a sore trial for her. However, she had seen Severus and some of his 'dangerous' friends plotting together and heard a whisper about 'the Quidditch', and so she decided to attend. She suspected he had some sort of exquisitely subtle retaliation planned for the attempt on his life and she wished to witness it.

She made it to the stands clutching the arms of her friends' robes and sat watching--not the game--but Severus, who sat in the stands almost directly across from her. The game began normally enough, and for the first 30 minutes of dirty play, rapid scoring, and frequent fouls, she thought perhaps she had been mistaken in her assumption that something was going to happen.

And then she saw it. It was only the briefest motion from Severus, his wand apparently hidden within a voluminous sleeve. She quickly darted her eyes to Potter. It seemed as though his broom had become slippery somehow. He had been just reaching for the Snitch, the stands in an uproar, when his grip of hands and legs was no longer sufficient to keep him on his broom. Without warning, he had suddenly slipped completely off his broom while still traveling at great speed and height.

Madam Hooch was there and waved her wand instantly to slow his fall, but he still landed quite hard. His broom dropped out of the sky like lead immediately after him, and resisted every attempt from anyone to pick it up. It was as though it was so slippery as to be frictionless, or else too heavy to move.

The crowd was on its feet, everyone screaming in shock, surprise, and a variety of other emotions. Severus was standing as well, but his almost smug expression was one of bored satisfaction.

Slytherin won the game, of course. Potter suffered multiple broken bones. His broom was completely ruined. The rumour quickly spread as to what had happened. The broom had been coated in some sort of unique, frictionless potion that had not been noticed at first, because it apparently had to be activated by a command word, which required a wand. The teachers were unable to inactivate or neutralize the potion, and so Potter was forced to buy a new broom.

The professors searched for the culprit, and of course Severus was an immediate suspect. They checked every student's wand with "Prior Incantato" to find the offending wand and student, but found nothing. It was brilliant.

Later, though, Rowena's curiosity got the better of her. How had he been able to erase the spell from his wand? She knew she had seen him cast it. Unable to contain herself any longer, she asked one of her Slytherin friends, Anita Zabini, if she knew how it had been accomplished. Anita smiled slyly and gave her a searching look.

"Well, okay, I will tell you, since I know you like Severus too much to betray him. But if I find out anyone knows you know.... Slytherins are very good at vengeance, as I'm sure you realize," she said, making no attempt to conceal the threat.

She leaned towards Rowena conspiratorially and whispered, "It will be his Dark wand. Lots of us have them. You can buy them in Knockturn Alley. They aren't registered with the Ministry like legal wands, so no one knows who has them. They're completely illegal, of course, but they're quite useful. If you are going to be doing a Dark spell, or any spell you don't want traced to yourself, you use your Dark wand. That way, your registered wand is clean when they come to do the 'Prior Incantato' spell."

Rowena absorbed this knowledge in silence, nodding her understanding. A Dark wand. Severus Snape was indeed dabbling in dangerous waters. Yet he had ample reason for his desire for vengeance, and since Potter was not permanently injured in the event, Rowena continued to silently applaud his skill and subtle retaliation.

She had little doubt now, even in her most wishful phases, that he had indeed thrown his lot in with Darkness. She continued to be drawn to him, to watch him, even to continue her photography hobby and to long to know him better--but she knew it was all for naught.

Potter pursued Lily more aggressively this year and Severus seemed to have given her up, if he had ever really been inclined toward her in that way. There was less fighting between them--though this might also be the result of McGonagall leaving Black and Potter on probation for the entirety of the school year.

Severus seemed completely consumed by his ambition for knowledge, his desire for learning and power. He was never seen without a book, though he often used concealment charms to hide their subjects. No girls seemed to catch his interest at all, not even the most blatant overtures by some of the Slytherins who were nearing the end of school and intent on making pureblood matches. He attended no social events, no Quidditch games, and Rowena no longer saw him tutoring other students, or even playing the occasional match of chess. The Darkness seduced him, and he seemed to give himself wholly over to it with willing abandon.

Rowena wished there was a way for her to redeem him from the path he had chosen, perhaps to befriend him and save him from his fall. But somehow even her twelve-year-old idealist self knew that if there was to be redemption for him, it would have to come from within himself.

Chapter 6: Dark Dances, Burned Bridges

The summer holiday was miserable. Remus was preparing to enter his final year at Hogwarts, and the war around them was escalating. Rowena had come no closer to forgiving her brother--both for rejecting her personally when she went to school, and for his selectively and poorly executed Prefect duties when it came to his friends' viciousness against Severus.

John and Rebecca Lupin couldn't fathom what had happened between their two children to cause such a rift. Rowena refused to be in the same room with Remus, and Remus refused to allow their parents to force the issue. Rowena was still blissfully ignorant of his lycanthropy, but when she learned of it, as she surely would, the attempt on Severus' life would become all the more serious from her perspective. He couldn't bear the reproach and disgust in her eyes.

Rowena spent the summer reading and studying for the upcoming year. As she had already studied these books and subjects when Remus was assigned them four years before, it seemed somewhat of a waste. When she tired of the revision, she switched to her more advanced sciences, and also persuaded her father to buy her more Defence Against the Dark Arts books. She still held to her desire to be an Auror.

Her father brought her to work with him often. He didn't like the idea of his daughter taking on such a dangerous career, and so had her make rounds with him to visit patients who had been the particular victims of Dark Wizards. Voldemort seemed to be growing stronger by the hour, and had a group of powerful and frightening followers that called themselves "Death Eaters".

She was disgusted and horrified by what she saw, but it only strengthened her resolve to be an Auror and help put a stop to such atrocities. This required her to ignore the tiny voice in her head, which constantly listed all the reasons she was so unsuited to such a career choice.

Another more important and nagging worry seeped into her mind as well. Some of the rumoured Death Eaters shared last names with many of Severus' allies at school. Worse, when she happened to mention his name to her father as a skilled Potions student, John paled and asked if he was related to Devin Snape. Rowena, of course, had no idea.

"I don't know who he's related to, Daddy. He's in Remus' year, but in Slytherin House. I only know he studies a lot and he's really good at potions. Why? Does it matter?"

John sighed and said, "Maybe. Devin Snape is a dangerous wizard with known Dark connections. He had a son that'd be about that age... it must be the same boy. Devin Snape's wife was found savagely beaten to death about the time the boy was supposed to go to school. The child wasn't found in the house. Devin said his son had run off and didn't expect to see him again. The man didn't seem the least concerned about the boy's fate. Devin paid off a lot of people to get out of charges of killing his wife; he claimed she 'fell down the stairs'.

"They're a dangerous family all the way around. Generations of supporting the Dark Arts. They'd been wealthy at one point, but Devin's father spent most of the fortune paying off the authorities to keep out of trouble. So, he married his son off to a wealthy pureblood girl, from France, I think I heard. I can't imagine what kind of horrible life she must have had until the end. He's got her money now, though. Nasty business."

He sighed heavily and put an arm around her. "That's the kind of family and power you'd be fighting against as an Auror, Rowena. You might catch someone you know is as evil as the day is long, and someone else will come right along and pay off the right people with the right bribes, and they'll be free. And they always seek vengeance. It's a dangerous job, and one I'd rather not see you in."

This planted the first firm seeds of doubt in Rowena's mind. She would have made every effort to ignore and overcome her own timidity and weaknesses. She really wanted to fight the Dark wizards. However, suddenly she imagined that if Severus was one, or became one, maybe even joined the Death Eaters, she might one day be forced into combat with him. (The derisive internal voice laughed at the idea of her successfully standing in combat with anyone. She continued, resolutely, to ignore it.)

She couldn't imagine being willing to fight against him in that way. The new information of his family--surely it was he, he was the only Snape at Hogwarts--made her realise that his lust for vengeance and power probably had far deeper roots than a schoolboy feud.

Her heart filled with sadness for him. Sadness at the boy he was, who maybe had been beaten himself, or perhaps made to watch helplessly as his mother was abused. No wonder he cloaked himself in dark bitterness and stoicism. Her compassion and understanding for him deepened still further, as did her fascination.

Her third year. His seventh. After this year, she would likely never see him again, unless she did indeed become an Auror and saw him in opposite sides of combat. She spent the train ride with her friends from Ravenclaw, having finally developed some over the preceding year, though she maintained her Slytherin ones as well.

She didn't see Severus until the Opening Feast. He was taller still again, but thinner and paler than ever. Blackness seemed to pour forth from his very soul. Younger students cringed and moved quickly away if he even glanced at them. His bitter, sneering scowl was a permanent part of his visage. His marks remained stellar, and he did not engage in any obvious or open hostilities with anyone. Yet he spoke to none but his own small group of 'allies'. He did not date or seem to pay attention to girls at all. It was as though the Darkness within him consumed him and left room for nothing else.

Still, he intrigued Rowena. Something in her core being reached out to him in understanding and compassion. She couldn't believe that his choice was one of true evilness of his own character, but rather the result of the gnawing anger and desire for revenge that she had seen in him. She continued to hope that he would find his way out of the pit in which he had placed himself.

He still somehow remained less cruel to her, if he had occasion to speak with her. Once she asked his advice on a Potions Essay: "The Five Primary uses of Dragon's Blood in Potions". She had four, but simply could not find the fifth. She had been working on it for days. At last, in desperation, she had asked him when she came upon him studying in the library.

He had raised his mocking eyebrow at her and silently held out his hand for her essay. Reading it quickly, he set it upon the table and marked a few lines on the parchment. When he handed it back to her, he met her eyes and gave her a rare smirk.

"This is quite adequate for a third-year student."

She was in raptures. "Quite adequate"! Coming from him, that was extravagant praise indeed. Beaming at him radiantly, she gently accepted the parchment. Something unrecognised flitted across his impassive face as he looked into her smiling one, and for an instant his expression was less harsh. The moment was so fleeting that she barely noticed it. He quickly returned his attention to his book and said no more.

She recopied the entire essay so she could save the parchment with his writing on it.

As an olive branch, Remus invited Rowena to go with him to the Yule Ball that year as his guest. As a third-year, she couldn't attend unless invited by an older student. She would have refused, except that she knew Severus would be there. If nothing else, she longed to see him in his dress robes. She accepted as graciously as she could. Remus knew of her consuming crush on Snape--and hated it--but he kept his mouth shut, as he didn't want to worsen their relationship further.

The Ball was a beautiful thing. The Great Hall was decorated fabulously; the music was current and popular. Everyone was radiant in their best dress robes. Rowena wore dark burgundy silk robes that were simple and elegant. Remus helped her do up her hair as he used to before she came to Hogwarts, delighted that she allowed him that gesture of affection they had once shared. Together, they put it in an elegant bun with fine ringlets at her ears. He gave her a small pearl pendant as a Christmas gift, with matching teardrop earrings. For a skinny, mousy-coloured, thirteen-year-old girl, she looked reasonably pretty.

Upon arriving at the ball, she joined her own group of friends, and Remus his. Severus was there and looked much the same, as his dress robes were as black as everything else he wore. But they were a fine cut and tailored to him well. She had always thought him ruggedly handsome, prominent nose notwithstanding, and she could hardly take her eyes off of him.

He caught her staring once and gave her a rather unpleasant smirk. She danced once with her brother, a few times with some of the boys from her House, and very briefly with a seventh year Slytherin boy named Warrington. He wanted to dance with her further, but she didn't like the way he kept trying to hold her closer and let his hands wander. The way he looked at her gave her chills, so she avoided him as best as she could the rest of the evening.

Surreptitiously, she managed to often be standing near Severus, usually by chatting with her friends from Slytherin. He danced with no one and didn't even seem to be there with a date, though many Slytherin girls flirted with him outrageously. Their attentions seemed entirely wasted.

Some of the Slytherins seemed to be drinking from a flask they were passing around under the table. At one point in the evening, Severus came over to her and gave her a mocking smile. His eyes were dark with some hidden amusement and his words seemed slightly slurred. He had obviously taken his share of turns with the ubiquitous flask.

"Ah, the noble Miss Lupin. You do clean up nicely, I must say. Perhaps you care to dance?" He held out his hand to her, and her heart pounded in joyous fright, thinking he was asking to dance with her. Tentatively she placed her hand in his and immediately flushed at the feel of his very warm skin against her own.

But instead, he smiled cruelly at her and said, "You have been very unkind to my friend, Warrington."

He held fast to her hand, while beckoning the other boy to come over to them with his other. "I think he rather fancies you. You really should learn to be more sociable."

With a mocking laugh, he tried to give Warrington her hand. "You should dance together." Warrington leered at her, grinning hungrily. She pulled away, mortified, and the two boys laughed at her apparent distress.

Thankfully, Remus came over at that moment, sensing her discomfort, and led her away to the dance floor. When she next saw Severus as she danced with her brother, he was smirking at her derisively.

He was not completely unaffected by her, however. Somehow the raw hurt in her eyes stabbed at whatever remainder of a conscience he possessed. He looked quickly away and stole another drink from the flask.

At last the dancing was over and they were dismissed to their dormitories. One of her earrings had fallen off, and she was obliged to stop to look for it. So it was that Rowena was quite a distance behind the rest of the Ravenclaw group when a hand clapped over her mouth and another around her waist from behind, and she was dragged her into a dark broom closet.

A wand came out and a silencing spell was placed upon her so she couldn't speak or scream, and then a small lantern was lit. Warrington was there in the closet with her, leering viciously. He stepped closer. The rancid smell of old drink tainted his breath, so that the cupboard seemed to reek of it.

"I think you owe me a kiss, little Rowena. You avoided me all evening, and now I will have it," he said as he lunged for her.

He was much larger than she was, and easily pinned her arms against her sides. She couldn't reach her wand, and in an instant he had confined both of her wrists in one of his enormous hands. She was fighting, screaming silently due to the spell, but all her struggles were ineffectual.

He brought his face to hers in a horrible mockery of a lover's kiss and tried to viciously force his tongue into her mouth. The smell and taste of him was vile, but his hand had grabbed her hair and she could not turn away. In an instinctive, defensive movement, she bit his tongue as hard as she could, gagging on the blood but gaining a moment's reprieve.

Warrington howled in agony, oblivious to the fact that he was not silent. Flying into a rage, he began beating her savagely, punching her in the face, pummeling her chest so that ribs broke, ripping off her dress in one swift motion and preparing himself to finish what he had intended to do. He threw her onto the floor and forced her legs onto his shoulders as he lunged forward, painfully dislocating one of her hips in the process. Drunken fumbling with his own garments prevented his final conquest, as the door suddenly flew open.

Standing there, silhouetted in the blinding brilliance of the light from the corridor compared to the darkness of the closet, stood Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter. Remus grabbed Warrington and bodily threw him out of the cupboard, into the waiting arms of Sirius and James. They responded with enthusiasm and began to beat the boy as though he was nothing but a convenient punching bag. Pettigrew stood in lookout for teachers.

Remus conjured a blanket and wrapped it carefully around the beaten, bloody form of his sister. He lifted her easily and carried her quickly to the hospital wing.

Rowena's nose was broken, leaving her with a bloodied face and two alarmingly blackened eyes. She had a concussion, numerous broken ribs, a broken arm and collarbone, and a dislocated hip. Warrington had not succeeded in the worst violation, but it was bad enough. Madam Pomfrey treated her injuries, while Remus stayed, holding her hand and refusing to leave her.

They had been there just over a quarter of an hour when the hospital wing door burst open. Severus stormed in, floating the unconscious form of Warrington before him. Remus stood to block his way, wand out and rage etched in every feature.

"Out of the way, Lupin. Your friends have beaten him nearly to death. He needs treatment now. You are all in enough trouble as it is," Severus said, his voice its most dangerous silk.

Remus' voice, in contrast, was a harsh, savage growl as he nearly shouted, "Get that scum out of here, or I will kill him myself! They beat him nearly to death because he tried to rape Rowena, and almost killed her in the process!"

Rowena let out a choked sob from behind him, conscious of the goings on, but unable to speak or move due to her injuries. Still, she wouldn't have wanted her attack announced, especially not to Severus Snape!

Severus, however, stopped cold in his tracks. If possible, his pale face became paler. His voice for once lacked its bitterness, as he simply snapped out, "What?"

Remus gestured to the bed behind him, and Severus took a step to the side so he could see the figure lying there. Her delicate face was horribly deformed, her eyes swelling shut, each breath coming painfully, and she was still trembling violently from shock and fear.

"Bloody hell," Severus swore in a much softer voice. He then stepped over to the side of her bed. Painful remembrances of his mother's numerous injuries threatened to overwhelm him, but he pushed them aside with the practised ease of his new found coldness. Still, he was not unmoved by the girl's plight.

"Miss Lupin, I assure you that this behaviour is not condoned by anyone in Slytherin House, regardless of what you may have been taught to think of us--even in light of our playfulness at your expense this evening. This will not go unpunished, far beyond whatever the law does in this regard, I assure you."

He then nodded to Remus, waved his wand again, and wafted the beaten body of Warrington back out of the hospital wing. Warrington was transported to St. Mungo's, and never seen at Hogwarts as a student again.

Remus stayed with Rowena night and day. He didn't leave for meals, for class, to sleep, nothing. She was terrified and traumatised emotionally, in addition to her physical injuries. It was a full week before she was willing to leave the hospital wing, and another before she felt adequate to attending classes.

Her brother and his friends seemed to take her personal security as their own responsibility, and from that moment on she was escorted everywhere by someone from Gryffindor House.

Apparently, on the night of the ball, when her House Prefect had found that she had not returned to the dorm, he had notified the Head Boy, Potter. Potter had grabbed his friends, and together they had looked for her. They still believed her to be only Remus' distant cousin, but it did not change their enthusiasm to protect her. So it was that they had arrived in time to put an end to the assault.

The rest of the school year was nearly uneventful, though she kept to herself even more than usual. She was too embarrassed and ashamed of what had happened to be quite so assertive about being near Severus. In addition, some of her Slytherin 'friends' blamed her for Warrington's expulsion, leaving her disinclined to maintain the relationships.

However, things changed dramatically for her again late in the spring when her Defence Against the Dark Arts class was assigned a particular essay--on werewolves. Suddenly, a lifetime of mysterious visits that Remus took where she was never allowed to go clicked.

Remus happened to come to check up on her while she worked in the library. It was a glorious day outside, so the library was empty of students except for Rowena. This was deliberate, as she generally only came during times when there wasn't likely to be many other people inside. When she spotted him, she glowered at him, waving her essay in his face.

"How long?" she asked, angrily.

He looked at the essay and paled visibly. Running a hand through his hair, he sat down at the table across from her and gently handed back the parchment.

"Since the day you were born," he replied simply.

She stared at him in stunned horror, gaping like a fish. It took several long moments of heavy, uncomfortable silence before she could catch one of the whirlwind thoughts spinning through her mind, and focus upon it enough to speak coherently.

"This is why you wouldn't claim me as sister, isn't it? You thought you were protecting me? But I suppose Potter and Black and Pettigrew know?" He nodded and her voice raised a notch.

"You could tell them, trust them, but not me?" Years of hurt and loneliness washed over her.

"You chose your friends over your sister. I hope you are pleased with your choice, Remus!"

With painful shock, another piece fell into place, and she became even angrier.

"That's what Black did last March, isn't it? He somehow wanted to get you to attack Severus when you were...."

She couldn't complete her sentence, but Remus nodded miserably.

"But you're still friends with Black?" she choked, unable to believe the truth of it. "He tried to kill someone, and use you as the tool to do it, and you forgave him that?"

"Rowena, listen, let me explain, please?" he said imploringly. "Sirius is a bit reckless, that's all. He meant it as a prank, he didn't really think about anyone getting hurt.

"Besides, you know what Snape is like! Look how mean he was to you at the Yule Ball? He's evil to the core, Rowena. It doesn't justify what Sirius did, but it's between him and Snape, okay?"

She stood up, grabbing her bag, and shook her head. "No! It's not 'okay'! Nothing can forgive that! He tried to kill Severus by turning you into a murderer, and you forgave him! Go away, Remus! I never want to see you again!"

Turning on her heel, she fled to her dorm, crying bitterly.

Her final weeks of that school year were painful ones. She had again shut herself off completely from her brother, and marked each passing day as taking her one step closer to the time when Severus would be gone from her life forever.

Each House had stuffed animal replicas of their House creature, available for purchase. These opened along one seam to reveal parchment pages for a memory book of sorts, to collect mementos and autographs of fellow students. Rowena bought a Slytherin Snake, in addition to her Ravenclaw Eagle, and persuaded one of her remaining Slytherin friends to obtain Severus' signature for her. His was the only signature in the snake, and she hid it away with other "Severus Artifacts", to be looked at often when he was long gone from her life.

Leave-taking day arrived. The final feast was as glorious as all other Hogwarts feasts, but the seventh year students were notably subdued with the sort of melancholy excitement which heralds the end of one phase of life, and the beginning of another. When Dumbledore's closing speech was over, the seventh-years rose from the table as one, and left the school.

He was gone and a huge hole settled in her heart.