Albus Potter and the Sorting of the Students

Chapter 3

Of Dinnertime Discussion

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night before they were due to leave for Hogwarts, Albus's grandparents held an enormous feast at the Burrow. The entire family was there, and then some: There were close to thirty people squashed in around the long table in the garden, friends and family alike. Albus was wedged in between his cousins Molly and Rose, and he was glad he was near the center of the table. He could catch more of the conversations that way. And the conversations certainly were interesting:

"I swear, we would've been stuck in that closet all night if I hadn't gotten Filch with that Confundus Charm!" James was saying.

"You did not!" their cousin Molly protested. "Hannah Warborough said it was her that did the spell!"

"Well, Hannah is a fine witch, and a lovely person, but I'm afraid she's terribly confused." James sniffed.

"What were you doing in a closet at night with Hannah Warborough?" his father asked, giving James a look. Harry had strategically placed himself next to James for the express purpose of catching stories of his misdeeds at school (James and Fred liked to brag at family gatherings), while Teddy Lupin and Uncle George had chosen seats nearby for... roughly the same reason.

James turned bright red. "Hiding from Filch, obviously! Don't look at me like that, Dad, Fred was supposed to be there, too, but he landed himself in detention!"

"That's so much better, James, really."

"You're one to talk, Harry, I could tell him about all the places you hid with Ginny when you were in school. Or Cho, for that matter. Hell, even Ron, for that matt - "

"Alright, thank you, George, I'm sure you'd love for me to tell Fred stories of all the things you got up to in school."

"I sure would, I think he's tired of hearing them from me. Why don't you have a go!"

"Hmm, I don't know, I'm not sure I've quite the ear for telling stories..."

"Weak."

"Yeah, I thought so, too but I had to try..."

His cousins Victoire and Lucy were talking the more educational aspects of school. "I took Care of Magical Creatures my third year, but I ended up dropping it. It was just too much combined with Arithmancy and Ancient Runes," Victoire was saying, while Lucy nodded in rapt attention.

Albus didn't know what Arithmancy and Ancient Runes were, but Care of Magical Creatures sounded much more interesting. He thought of his little black owl, which he had named Struana (a name he had found in one of his school books, upon his father's recommendation). She had turned out to be quite a cheerful little thing, if sometimes a tad stuck up.

"Well, I figure as long as they've modified the schedule so that we can take all the classes, I might as well try it," Lucy responded.

Albus remembered hearing about the schedule changes a few years prior. Aunt Hermione had thrown a fit, indignant that they hadn't done it while she was still in school.

"You'll be singing a different tune in a few months, trust me, little cousin." Victoire gave a smug grin, eliciting a scowl from Lucy.

Teddy, Hugo, and Louis were doing their best to mock Dominique as she talked a mile a minute, telling Lily and Roxanne all about the boys at Hogwarts. "The Quidditch players are the - shut UP, Teddy! - they're the best. I mean, they're all muscular and handsome. The older ones, I mean. Obviously not the younger ones. Well, you might find the younger ones cute since you're their age, but - Louis, I swear, you are going to be in a world of pain when we get home - anyway, there's this one cute boy named Yeremiah on the Ravenclaw team, he's got that 'strong, confident' feeling about him. Oh, and the Hufflepuff Captain, his body is SOOO toned, and he's exotic, his name's Ukewembe Ado - "

"Yuko-what?" Lily interrupted.

"You-keh-whem-bee."

"There was more," Hugo protested.

"What?"

"You said more after that, not just Yu-ko-wom-bee."

"...That was his last name. Ado."

"Oh."

"Yeah. You little weirdo. Anyway. Although I think I might prefer the cute seventh year on the team, his name's Aaron, that's easier to say. He plays, uh, what's it called. The one who sits in the same spot the whole time, what is it, 'Catcher?'"

"Keeper!" all three boys said together, annoyed at the lack of Quidditch knowledge present at their end of the table.

Dominique smirked. "Remember that, ladies. If you ever want to get a guy to go away, just start butchering Quidditch terms. They'll get mad and walk away before you finish your sentence."

Teddy scoffed. "Well, if you want to play hardball, we'll just correct you. You see, he doesn't 'sit in the same spot the whole time,' he's circling the goals, ready to move in any direction at the slightest need. And his name's Adam, so you were still wrong there, too."

Dominique's glares could cut through any of the rest of them and give them shivers, but Teddy merely raised his glass at her before chugging its contents and turning his hair turquoise. Victoire left an argument about Divination versus Astronomy with Lucy to give Teddy a suspicious look, before grabbing his glass and sniffing it. "Teddy! You're not going out later, are you?"

He gave the blonde a cheeky wink. "Maybe..."

"And you didn't invite me?!"

"I don't know if that's the best thing, I mean, you've only just become of age..."

"Right, because that totally stopped you. Age restrictions for drinking."

"Never stopped him with magic, either," Andromeda Tonks called from the far end of the table. "I've got a scrapbook full of letters from the Ministry about 'improper use' of this, 'misuse' of that, 'lude and obscene use' of Merlin only knows what..."

"I didn't need magic for that last one," Teddy whispered to Victoire. "Thank you for that, Grandmother!" he shouted down the table.

"Any time," she responded, then returned to her conversation with Arthur and Molly.

"Either he hasn't figured out that my hearing is better than average, or else he doesn't care," she said to them, shaking her head.

"I don't care, Grandmother!" came the call from down the table. "I have the same ears, you know!"

Andromeda sighed. "Indeed he does. Arthur, what were you saying about Ratchet?"

"Oh, right. Simply that his new rules for the Registrar's Office make it incredibly difficult to get anywhere, when you have to fill out every little detail about everything everybody's ever done. Gone to Hogwarts, sure I can see how we need to know that. Work for Creative Potioneers Apothecary? Sure, why not. Father's weight at time of birth? Maybe we're stretching it a bit far, here."

"Does that mean the father's weight at the time of his own birth? Or the birth of whomever the form's about?"

"They don't know, but at least it's just forms, not as bad as what Percy has to deal with."

"Yeah, Perce, tell us what you've been getting up to, lately! Regulating the size of trolls' ear bogies?"

"Bill, dear, you're past forty. Picking on your little brother is a bit frowned upon at that age."

"Right you are, Mum. Percival, you have my most sincere apologies, and my polite interest in your day to day activities."

"I'm sure I do. Well, at any rate, we've actually had some angry negotiations with some of the Eastern European Ministries, lately. They seem to believe we are harboring fugitives of theirs here, and as far as anyone I've talked to knows, we're certainly not. Audrey, can you pass the gravy, love?"

His wife passed the requested sauce, then returned to her conversation with Hermione and Hannah.

"So, if Dorothy Ann's seven, now, then she should be allowed to go to Hogwarts in...

"Four more years, yes," Hannah said, nodding.

"And where is she tonight, anyway?"

"Neville's Gran's got her tonight; figured she let us get a night to escape."

"That was nice of - Ginny, what on earth is so funny?"

The redheaded mother of three was slumped in her chair, giggling like a schoolgirl. As the adults around turned to watch, the source of her amusement became clear: The blonde haired woman with large eyes sitting across the table had plucked a piece of asparagus off of her plate and tucked it neatly behind her ear next to her wand, and was eating the rest of her food as though nothing was out of the ordinary (and, indeed, for anyone who knew Luna Lovegood-Scamander, nothing was out of the ordinary - in fact, this could be considered quite rational behavior).

Ginny stopped giggling long enough to talk. "Oh, I've missed you, Luna. What have you been up to?"

The odd woman looked up. Her eyes were wide, as though she was surprised to find a full table of people in front of her. "Oh, a little of this, a little of that. Pomona and I finally finished our work on those rare fungi in Tibet, so Rolf and I decided to take the boys to Scandinavia. Ever since we found that family of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks in Sweden, we've suspected they have relatives in Norway or Finland."

"I still can't believe those were real," Uncle Ron muttered under his breath.

"Of course they're real, Ronald, the Quibbler was publishing articles about them for years!"

"What's a Krunkled Horned Snorlax?" Albus asked, latching onto the conversation, which most of the table was now listening to.

"Oh, it's simply the most marvelous creature! It has the body of a - "

"Isn't that what Hagrid accidentally let loose in the castle last year?" James interrupted.

"Yes, one of them consented to come back with us, and visit Hogwarts' Care of Magical Creatures classes, but upon seeing Hagrid, immediately tried to flee. I suppose he is rather alarming, isn't he?"

"Yeah, you should've seen Hagrid and Phinean trying to catch that thing!" Fred laughed.

"I would've thought Phinean could've just flown after it and caught it that way," James said, sniggering.

All the school age children laughed, but Albus could see that Rose was also confused. "He can fly?"

"Of course! Can't all vampires?"

"James! Professor Phinean is not a vampire!"

"Whatever you say, Lucy. Haven't you seen his teeth?"

This got Albus's attention. A vampire, teaching at Hogwarts?

"He's not a vampire! He chased that thing onto the grounds in daylight, remember?"

"Oh, yeah..."

"What are the other teachers like?" Rose asked.

Lucy took over the conversation, now in her element. "Oh, well, Professor Flitwick, he's the Charms teacher, he's part goblin - "

"Yet you still say Phinean can't be a vampire."

"Be quiet, Fred. Anyway, he's very nice. Professor Moorehead can be... gruff, but she's a good teacher. Of course, we know Neville..." She motioned to the Herbology professor. "Professor Binns is rather dull, but very informative."

"'Rather dull?' I can't pay attention for more than two minutes in that class!"

"I know the feeling," Uncle George said, smirking at his son. Fred gave him a high-five.

" - and Professor Caydarah, well, she's young, and she dresses rather... interestingly, but she's very nice."

"You mean she's a tramp." Victoire sniffed from the end of the table.

"Victoire! 'Zat is not nice!" her mother scolded.

"Mum, what's a tramp?" Lily asked, smirking. Albus had to stifle a laugh. He doubted Lily cared much what a tramp was (although he was rather curious) - he knew she was only asking because she could tell that the adults were embarrassed by their cousin's choice of words.

"Eat your potatoes, Lily."

"And Professor Creevey, he teaches Muggle Studies, he's great, he really knows his subject, and he's a lot of fun in class!"

"I'm so glad he got that class to be made mandatory," their grandfather said. "I just wish that it could've been done sooner."

"Professor McGonagall - well, she's retired now, so I suppose you won't meet her," Lucy finished.

"Who's the Head Boy and Girl this year? Anyone we know?" Uncle Bill asked, and all the older girls burst out into giggles.

"What?" he asked, thoroughly nonplussed.

"Conrad Clearview," Dominique said, blushing.

"Ah. Say no more," her father said, returning his attention to his steak and sighing.

"Who's that?" Albus said, puzzled at the odd behavior shared by most of the girls: Even Lucy was red.

"He's soooo cute! He's the Seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and he's never failed to catch the Snitch! I hear he's even got offers from Pride of Portree, Appleby, and Montrose! He's also a Prefect, top of his class, and - "

"Didn't you hear the man? 'Say no more!'" Teddy shook his head at the behavior of the girls. "Merlin, you girls all get so damned irrational around him! It's a wonder he doesn't have a swollen head, the way you all slobber - "

"Oh, stuff it, Teddy," Dominique said. "Anyway, the Head Girl is some Ravenclaw, I don't know her."

"Rebecca Gold," Victoire said, looking rather cross, Albus thought. I suppose now we know who wanted to be Head Girl.

The conversation separated into more adult topics at the one end, and more girlish topics at the other, and Albus felt his eyes growing heavy. Darn turkey. Always does this to me.

Albus felt himself drifting off in his chair, until he found Rose shaking him an indeterminate amount of time later. "Al! You there? Everyone's leaving!"

He looked up in surprise, and indeed, around the table, people were standing up and getting ready to leave. He shook his head. "Oi. I'm looking forward to bed tonight."

***

"Potter, Albus."

Albus took a nervous step forward, and as his foot touched the first step towards the bedraggled hat, he realized what was happening. He paused. "This is a dream."

The tall, dark-haired wizard who was always there in his dreams gave him a cold look. "Is it, now?"

"Yes. It's the same one I always have. I'm going to put on the hat, and it's going to send me to Slytherin."

The man tilted his head a bit. "Is it a good dream?"

Albus shook his head slowly. "No. It's not."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to be in Slytherin. More Dark wizards have come out of Slytherin than any other house. I don't want to be there. I'm not Dark."

"You don't have to be dark to be in Slytherin. And you don't have to be in Slytherin to be dark."

"But - "

"You make the House. The House doesn't make you."

Albus stared at the man in wonder for a moment. "Who are you?"

***

Albus woke with a start. He rolled over and looked at his clock. It read half past nine in the morning. Half past nine... The train leaves at eleven! He threw himself out of bed and ran over to his trunk, which stood open in the corner.

"Robes... books... cauldron... no, NO!" As he fumbled with the contents of his trunk, his Collapsible Cauldron uncollapsed, sending everything into disarray.

Lily opened the bedroom door. "Hey Al," she said, smiling. "We're way behind schedule, nobody knows where Dad is, and Mum's throwing a fit. Better hurry up!" She flashed him an evil grin and shut the door.

Albus finished stuffing the last of his belongings into his trunk, closed it, and sat on it crosslegged to shut it all the way. He heard a series of clicks and stood up smiling, before realizing that he had put the clothes he was going to wear for the day in his trunk, also. "Oh, no!"

Ten minutes later, he came down the stairs into the kitchen, dressed in Muggle attire with his wand in his pocket, dragging his trunk behind him.

"Al, thank goodness you're ready. Put your trunk outside, your dad should be home soon, I don't know what's keeping him - where's your owl?"

Albus gasped. He had forgotten to grab Struana; the little black owl was very quiet, and Albus often forgot she was in the room until he did something she found objectionable.

He sprinted back up the stairs, almost bowling over James at the top. "Have you seen my wand?"

"No, I - How do you lose your wand?!"

"Well, maybe if we were allowed to use it over the summer, I wouldn't have lost it!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Albus ran into his room, grabbed the owl's cage (she awoke with a loud squawk), and ran back down the stairs, this time almost colliding with his father.

"Harry! What took you?! It'll be a miracle if we make it on time!" his mother shouted. Her panicked voice followed him as he took his trunk and Struana outside. When he looked up, his eyes opened in surprise.

"Dad, you got a different car?" Every year, they drove an old banged up car that made a terrible banging noise the whole way to Kings Cross. His parents didn't see the point in getting a better car, since that was about the only time they needed to use one, so Albus was surprised to see a shiny purple sedan sitting in front of their house.

His mother and father appeared at his shoulder. "Yeah, Arcturas felt bad about holding me up, so he let me borrow his car so we could get there on time. It's got, er, some... extra features." Here, Albus saw his father give his mother a wink, and his eyes grew wide in surprise as her look of panic disappeared, replaced by a curious grin.

"Excellent... as long as these 'extra features' actually work!"

"Oh, they work..."

Five minutes later, they were all seated with plenty of elbow room in the magically expanded car. Their father had a huge grin on his face. "It's been a while since I've done this."

"Well, don't cock it up, we're already running late."

"Mum! Such language!"

Albus was surprised to hear his mother laugh in response to James's chiding. "Let's do it," she said, and the car turned invisible around them.

"Whoa!"

"Cool!"

"Wicked!"

The car accelerated, and then lifted off the ground with a low growl. Within a minute, they were soaring through clouds, and into a brilliant morning sun.

"Dad, why don't we have one of these?" Lily asked.

"Because your grandmother would have a fit."

"Harry!"

"Well, that's the only reason keeping me from getting one. I don't get out on my broom much anymore."

They settled down beneath the cloud cover, and watched the ground go by beneath them in brilliant patches of blue, green, and brown.

"So, Dad, you think you can get me into Hogwarts next year?" Lily asked suddenly, still cheerful.

"What?! You're still two years away from being able to go!" their father yelped, confused.

"But I'm sure you could get them to let me in a year early, and just think of all I could do: I'll be out a year early, and able to start my life earlier, and get more done, sooner!"

"Great, you can get out and get married and have babies even sooner. Fantastic plan, Lily."

"Dad! That's not what I meant!" The whole car laughed.

"Lily, you're not going early. The reason students start after their eleventh birthday is because that is how long it takes for your magic to develop to a point where you can learn to control it properly. Any sooner, and you likely wouldn't be able to do as much as the older kids, no matter how talented you may be."

"But, I mean, my birthday's in September! I'm going to be ten in just a few weeks! I'll be eleven not long after school starts next year!"

"You're not going."

"But, DAD!"

"Lily, don't whine. It'll be your turn when it's your turn! It's not that long!"

"But, MUM!"

"Lily, stuff it. Nobody wants you there anyway."

"You're so mean, James!"

"Am not, monkey cheeks."

"Frog lips."

"Lizard breath."

"Rat tail."

"Get stuffed."

"Make me!"

"No."

"Hah. James can't make me, James can't make me, James can't make me, James can't - "

"SHUT UP, LILY!" the whole car roared.

***

Half an hour later, the conversation had mellowed out and returned to the year ahead of James and Albus at Hogwarts.

"So, looking forward to the Sorting?" their mother asked Albus.

"I suppose."

"Maybe you'll get lucky, and the Hat will go loopy again this year," James said nonchalantly.

"What?" their father asked, confused.

"Oh, you didn't hear about that?" James was surprised. "Yeah, my first year, the Hat had itself a fit in the middle of the Sorting, started shouting about not being treated with respect, after somebody dropped it. Victoire said it did something similar a few years before. Started singing a drinking song at the top of its voice - while someone was wearing it. She said the staff suspects the enchantments on it were tampered with - or else it's just going senile."

"Can hats go senile?" Lily asked.

"Apparently," James answered.

"I can't say I blame it," their mother said. "Must be a pretty boring life."

"So, have your dream again recently?" James asked Albus, smirking.

"James..." their mother warned, looking back.

Albus started at the mention of the dream: He had forgotten about it since he had woken up, and was startled to remember the differences from his usual dreams.

"Yeah... but it was different."

James stopped smirking, and even his mother looked interested.

"I knew it was a dream this time. I didn't put on the hat, I just told the professor there that I knew it was a dream, and I knew that the hat would send me to Slytherin when I put it on."

Now he knew the entire car was listening. Even Lily, sulking in the middle, was pouting a little less, and he could tell that his father was splitting his attention between driving and paying careful attention. It was the first time any of them had heard him talk about his recurring nightmares.

"He asked if it was a good dream, which I found odd. Of course it wasn't a good dream! I told him I didn't want to be in Slytherin, and he said that not everyone from Slytherin was Dark. Which I had figured, but, I mean, so many Dark wizards come out of there, and I don't want to be in there with people like that..." Albus trailed off. "Then he said something odd. He said 'the House doesn't make you; you make the House.'"

In the front seat, his father started, eyes wide. "Dad, what is it?"

"Where did you hear that before?" he asked Albus, a sharp edge to his voice.

"I don't know, just that dream. Why?"

"Harry, are you okay?" their mom asked, alarmed.

"I... I heard somebody else say that, once..."

Albus was intrigued. "Was it during the war?" Anything that could make his father jump like that had to be related to something that happened during the war.

"No," he responded, surprising Albus. "It was after." Here, he shot their mother a meaningful look. Her eyes also opened in surprise for a moment, then iced over. She turned and looked out the window.

There's something going on there...

James was more vocal with his confusion. "Mum, what's Dad talking about?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean, nothing!"

"Nothing, now be quiet."

"But - "

"Yeah, James, you heard her, be quiet," Albus interjected, desperate to shut his older brother up. He could tell this was not a discussion they wanted to be involved in.

"You shut up, what, are you sucking up, now? That's a great trait for Slytherins..."

"Shut up."

"Little snaky..."

"I'm not going to be in Slytherin!"

"Sure, that's what you think, even your dreams think that's where you'll be! That last one more or less told you, you'll be there and you'll have to make it better. I don't fancy that job."

Albus's heart sank. Was that what that last dream meant?

Before he could ponder anymore, the car took a sudden dip downward. "We're almost there," his father said.

"Alright!" James yelled, and Albus couldn't help but feel a twinge of excitement. The car landed in an empty alley near the train station, and their father turned off the invisibility booster. They pulled out onto the street and quickly found a parking spot. Clouds in the distance were turning gray. A storm was coming. All five of them piled out of the car, and as Albus looked at the large train station in front of him, he felt James clasp him on the shoulder. "Welcome, Albus," he said with far more drama than was warranted, "to the beginning of your Hogwarts career!"