Finding Out Who We Are

Finding out who we are

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

If you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

~*~

Being half a Potter and half a Weasley means getting sorted into Gryffindor house. At least that is what it meant to Lily Luna Potter, last-born child and only daughter of Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley.

Lily had two older brothers. The eldest, James Sirius Potter, had the trademark red hair of the Weasley family and was a proud Gryffindor. He was named after their father's father and their father's godfather. James Potter and Sirius Black had been the cleverest students of their time, intelligent and rebellious. Whereas James Potter had followed his family into Gryffindor, Sirius Black had been a proud breaker of his Slytherin family's tradition. Lily always thought her brother didn't really live up to his name and that he was much more like their uncle Ron than either of his namesakes. James took a long time to grow up, he was very dependent on the opinion of others and, to Lily's annoyance, very protective of her. As Harry's first-born child, he was the self-proclaimed patriarch of all Weasleys and Potters in Gryffindor house, and it took Lily a while to escape his reign.

Her second eldest brother, Albus Severus Potter, had even more to live up to than James. Albus Dumbledore had been a model student, Gryffindor of course. He had been as clever as James Potter and Sirius Black, but much less rebellious and more intent on earning a respectable name in the wizarding community. Severus Snape, on the other hand, had been a Slytherin. Bad-tempered, but with a deep heart and extraordinarily brave, according to their father. He had been one of the most cunning and important spies of the legendary Order of the Phoenix. And on top of these two namesakes, Al looked just like Harry, saviour of the wizarding world and celebrated hero. Lily was sure that it was very difficult for Al to find his own way in this mass of seemingly inspiring examples. When Al came to Hogwarts, he was sorted into Slytherin. He refused to try out for the Quidditch team, even though he was a very talented flyer, and befriended Scorpius Malfoy. With Scorpius Malfoy being the pure-blood descendant of a respectable Slytherin family and Al the breaker of tradition from a purely Gryffindor family, the two of them became something like the Slytherin version of James Potter and Sirius Black. They were intelligent and admired and always got what they wanted. Or so it seemed.

Lily herself also had the trademark red Weasley hair and greenish-blue eyes; but in her case, that made her resemble her grandmother, Lily Evans, after whom she had been named. Lily Evans had been a brave, talented and good-natured Gryffindor, who had had a lot of admirers, including James Potter and Severus Snape. Or so Harry and Ginny had told Lily. Harry had also confided in Lily that her mother, Ginny, had had even more admirers at school than her grandmother Lily Potter, and that he supposed Lily would also. Lily's second namesake was the only living person after whom her parents had chosen to name one of their children. Luna Lovegood had been a Ravenclaw, rather unpopular during her time at Hogwarts and with a strange habit of believing the most unlikely things. Lily hadn't quite figured out yet why her parents had named her after Luna, unless it was her open-mindedness and her funny and unconventional ways. Lily knew that Luna had been a great support for Harry during his fifth year at Hogwarts.

All in all, Lily had always felt that she had less to live up to than her brothers. She spent her first two years at Hogwarts under James's reign, exploring the talent at Charms and Hexes that she had inherited from both her mother and grandmother, and which earned her an appropriate reputation quite soon. She was happily surrounded by her family. Among the many Weasley cousins was Hugo Weasley, second child of Ron and Hermione, and Lily's dearest childhood friend. Hugo was also a redhead and much like her uncle Charlie in personality. They spent a lot of time together, because, like Lily's favourite brother, Hugo's sister had been sorted into a different house. Rose had the red Weasley hair colour, but Hermione's curls and intelligence. Lily hadn't yet figured out what had caused the Sorting Hat to differentiate between Hermione, who had been a Gryffindor, and Rose, who was sorted into Ravenclaw, but she supposed there was a reason.

Lily assumed that she was in Gryffindor because almost her whole family was or had been there, and that she just had a quality about her that came from her genes or from her upbringing. It was not until her third year that she began to truly understand why she was in Gryffindor. That was the year boys started being interested in her. That was the year she decided to cut her hair. That was the year she joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

~*~

It all started with the Quidditch tryouts the second week of term. James was a Chaser, and Lily had to admit that he flew quite well. There was another boy in his year, Daniel Wood, who was Keeper and the captain of the Gryffindor team. Lily tried out as Seeker and was immediately accepted to the team. Nobody was very surprised about this: she had inherited both her mother's and her father's talent at Seeking (and her grandfather's, from what she had heard). The Beaters were identical half-Asian fourth-year twins, Lucy and Lena Chang, who had been on the team for two years. They didn't have the usual heavy Beater's build; both were rather small and slender, but they had a lot of talent to make up for this. The other Chasers were a fifth-year boy named Richard Smith, whom everyone called Dick, and a second-year girl, Kathleen White, their youngest team member and one of James's natural protegees on the team.

After her first very excellent team practice, Dick asked Lily out. She considered him. He was quite handsome, with his sky-blue eyes and messy blond hair, and Lily surprised herself when she refused. Afterwards she decided to cut her hair. She told herself that she did it because it kept blowing all over her face when she was flying, making it difficult to see and catch the Snitch. But she also felt that she didn't want to be asked out by boys simply because of her looks. She knew that many girls tried to attract boys with good looks, but she had a diffuse feeling that she wanted more.

She had an argument with James about her new haircut.

"You looked so much better with long hair, Lily. Why did you have to cut it?" he complained.

"How am I to see the Snitch with my long hair whipping all over my vision when I fly?" she asked back.

"Mum flew with long hair, and she was able to catch the Snitch! You could have pony-tailed it for Quidditch. That's no excuse."

Lily sighed. "James, what does it matter to you what I do with my hair? You can grow yours long, if you like it that much."

"You are my sister, Lily! I want you to be pretty and happy."

"Why should you have a beautiful sister if I don't have a beautiful brother?" she retorted and then left before he could think of an answer.

Al took a different view on things when she complained about James.

"Is it asking too much to be able to do what I want, without first consulting James?" she asked Al.

"Of course not. It's completely up to you how you cut your hair. James shouldn't tell people what to do, especially not such a bold Gryffindor as you are. But he's not the kind of guy to understand this. He has always felt that, as our older brother, he knows better than we do. And he thinks that gives him the right to mess with our lives." His voice betrayed a hint of bitterness, and Lily remembered Al's fear of being sorted into Slytherin before coming to Hogwarts, and James teasing him relentlessly about it. She had no idea what had happened between her brothers on Al's first trip to Hogwarts and after his sorting. Somehow she had never thought to ask.

"Did you have a fight with James when you were sorted into Slytherin?"

"Sort of. I guess he had trouble imagining his little brother in a rival house and cold-shouldered me for a while. Then I became friends with Scorpius, and James and I had a row in the Great Hall. He said some pretty nasty things about Scorpius. I told him he had no right to choose my friends for me, but I'm not sure if he really understood that."

Lily could imagine it only too well. James would have been furious to see his brother being friends with someone he himself considered his arch-enemy. He would think of it as base treachery. Al was, after all, half a Weasley; and Weasleys and Malfoys never made friends. That Scorpius and Al then had become the most intelligent and admired students at school certainly had done nothing to soothe James's anger. To be always outshone by one's younger brother was surely not a comfortable feeling, and Lily guessed that this was part of why James still kept throwing dark hints about sneaky Slytherins. At least on the house-matter, in his opinion, he had defeated Al.

~*~

Lily's first ever Quidditch game was Gryffindor versus Slytherin. She was glad she didn't have to play against Al. He was excellent at Seeking and could have played for Slytherin any time he wanted. But instead he claimed to be a good flyer, but a lousy Quidditch player. And since no one apart from his family had ever seen him Seeking, everyone believed him. Lily knew that Al just didn't want to do the Seeking, because their father had been the best Seeker Hogwarts had ever seen. Lily was confident that she was equal to Al (and to their father), and that her against him would be a very exciting match. But she wouldn't like having to play against Al in such a situation. It would feel like tearing apart the family. Quidditch was still a very serious business between the houses at Hogwarts, especially between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Instead she had to play against Scorpius Malfoy, who had become Slytherin Seeker when Al had refused. Scorpius was very much like his father; blond, arrogant and selfish, and Lily knew that he was quite a good Quidditch player, the whole school talked about Slytherin's Quidditch hero. Despite herself, Lily was feeling a bit apprehensive about having to play against him.

Lily stood on the Quidditch pitch, clutching her broom, and looked into the cold grey eyes of Scorpius Malfoy, with his trademark Malfoy sneer firmly in place. Lily would have greatly disliked him, had she not known that he was a Slytherin and that he as such felt obliged to display arrogance and indifference. They took off, and Lily immediately knew that Scorpius was no match for her. He started following her around the pitch instead of looking for the Snitch himself, an old Slytherin tactic he had no doubt adopted from his father. James, Dick, and Kathleen played well together and scored several goals to great cheers from the Gryffindors below. The first goal of a Slytherin Chaser was greeted with loud boos from the Gryffindors and cheers from the Slytherins. "Not so happy now, are they?" shouted Scorpius. Lily knew he was trying to get her attention away from her Seeking job, but she did not reply and sped off to the other side of the pitch, Scorpius following her closely. Even though she knew he was Al's best friend, she took pleasure in his being almost unseated by a Bludger sent from Lucy. On the pitch they were rivals, as all Gryffindor and Slytherin players had been for centuries. Then Lily spotted the Snitch far below, just above the ground, and she went into a spectacular dive. Scorpius followed, but he pulled out several feet above the ground, afraid to crash, and Lily caught the Snitch easily in her hand. She heard the cheers of the Gryffindors in the stands as she soared around the pitch, fist raised, and knew she had achieved their victory and toppled Scorpius from his pedestal.

From then on she was the Gryffindors' Quidditch hero, popular and admired. She got an idea of how her father's life at Hogwarts must have been: people whose names she didn't know greeted her in the corridors, clapped her on the back or wanted to shake her hand. She liked doing something for Gryffindor, but she wasn't sure she liked all the attention she was getting. Boys were asking her out now because of her status as Quidditch hero, and somehow she found she liked it just as little as being asked out because of her looks. Some of the boys were really good-looking and seemed to be nice, but the more she was asked, the more she got bored with them.p

Quidditch also enabled her to find out with whom her elder brother was in love. Even though she knew James would never admit it, she was sure he had fallen for Lucy Chang, one of the Gryffindor Beaters. She didn't know Lucy well enough to find out if she shared his feelings, but it was quite fun to watch James. Lily had always known he would fall for a Gryffindor girl; nothing else was fitting for James, who was really very much a Weasley after all.

~*~

It was not until her second Quidditch match that Lily met someone who sparked her interest at once. Daniel Wood was shaking hands with Rachel Smith, captain of the Hufflepuff team, and Lily looked into the startling green eyes of the Hufflepuff Seeker, a fourth-year girl with jet black hair. She marvelled at her opponent, but before she could say anything, they took off. As usual, Lily circled high above the rest of the players, looking for the Snitch. She first saw it at the Hufflepuff goalposts, fluttering some twenty feet above the ground. She dived, and suddenly the Hufflepuff Seeker sped next to her. They were neck and neck. Lily could feel her knee rubbing against that of the other girl. Then a cloud shifted and suddenly the sun was full in their eyes. By the time she could see again, the Snitch had gone and both Seekers resumed their circling. Lily found herself shooting the other girl covered looks out of the corner of her eyes, while still searching for the Snitch. The Hufflepuff had a short hair-cut like Lily, but the jet black colour was startlingly similar to that of Al or Harry. She even had the same emerald green eyes as Lily's brother and father.

Lily saw the Snitch again, high above her. The black-haired Hufflepuff had seen it as well. They sped upwards, neck and neck again. The Snitch fluttered away towards one side, which suited Lily slightly. She put all her energy into her acceleration and reached the Snitch a nanosecond before the other girl. As she closed her fist around it, she felt the hand of the Hufflepuff girl glide uselessly across the back of her own, and she relished that victorious touch.

They all landed amongst cheers from the crowd, and after having ended their usual victorious mass hug, the Gryffindor team went over to the Hufflepuffs to shake hands.

When Lily reached out to the other Seeker, she said: "I'm Lily Potter, by the way. Who're you?"

"Jill MacMillan. Good match, wasn't it? You fly really well!"

Lily smiled at her. "Thanks! You are really good, too. You almost got me up there." But before she could say much more, she was caught in a hug from Al, who had come over from the stands to congratulate.

~*~

For the rest of her life, Lily never knew what made her go down to the Quidditch pitch and watch the Hufflepuffs' team practice that night. She just acted on a spontaneous impulse, abandoning Hugo and her homework in the common room to watch Jill fly. As she watched her weaving in and out among the Chasers and Beaters, Lily couldn't help but admire Jill's aerodynamics. Jill definitely looked at home on a broomstick. She knew the Hufflepuffs were training hard, but Jill seemed a natural. Rather like Lily herself.

After the practice, Lily waited outside the changing rooms. Jill was last to exit. She smiled at Lily. "I didn't know you would be coming to watch."

Lily shrugged. "I just had to, somehow. It looks amazing the way you fly."

Jill smiled. "Thanks. The same can be said about you, though." Then she laughed suddenly. "If you were a Slytherin, I would accuse you of trying to spy on our tactics."

Lily laughed as well. "But I'm a Gryffindor. My brother is a Slytherin, though I doubt he would sink so low. He is not as nasty as Slytherins ought to be."

Jill grinned. "So why did you come?"

"I... like I said, I wanted to see you fly. I don't know why... just that, I suppose."

Jill scrutinised Lily.

"What is it?" Lily asked, confused by the intensive green stare.

"Nothing... it's just... I suppose it was very Gryffindor what you did tonight."

Lily wasn't sure she understood, but Jill offered no more explanations, and after a short silence, she asked Lily about her family.

"Oh, my mother's family is really big, so you get used to a lot of kids hanging around together. But you don't really get close relationships with all of them. People always expected me to get along with James better than with Al, since we both look much more Weasley than Potter. But I expect Al and me have more Potter blood in our veins than James. Al really looks just like my father, even though he doesn't really like it, and I always think I'm more like my father's parents than like any Weasley... well, except maybe my mother. The only other one I get along with really well is my cousin Hugo. He's very much a Weasley, but on a sort of... different... level than James. He's always so kind, believes in people and things. James just wants to boss everyone around. I sometimes think he is a bit like a cockerel." They laughed together.

"You should give him some time," Jill said, "you and especially your brother have a lot to live up to. That is never easy. I've heard about the big Weasley family, but I reckon as the children of Harry Potter, you're the ones that everyone expects great deeds from. My parents were at school with your parents. My dad told me a lot about the war and the Wizarding world, and who is who. I'm coming from two very old wizarding families as well, but luckily nothing as famous as yours."

"Who're your parents, then?"

"Hannah Abbott and Ernie MacMillan. My dad was quite friendly with yours. Both of my parents were in the DA when they were at school, but they somehow grew apart from your dad after that. My dad's family is from up north, from Scotland. But we're living in Wales now. My mum's family is from Godric's Hollow, originally, but they left the town for Goodwick several generations before my mum was born."

Lily looked at Jill. "We live in Godric's Hollow. Dad's parents lived there before Voldemort killed them. The place is sort of holy to Dad now. You could come over and visit, if you like. Then you'll see what James is like." She pulled a face.

"Be fair, Lily. This kind of thing is always hard."

Lily looked at Jill; that night she understood what it took to be a real Hufflepuff.

~*~

From then on, she was friends with Jill. She felt like she had known the Hufflepuff forever. It was amazingly easy to talk to her about everything. Easier even than talking to Al. Since Jill was a Hufflepuff and Lily was a Gryffindor, that meant a lot of hanging around in the library and out in the grounds and always being first and last in the Great Hall at mealtimes. Lily often sat at the Hufflepuff table and vice versa. She had never had a friend like Jill. She was cheerful and astonishingly patient and fair. But the Hufflepuff's sparkling green eyes intrigued her, and Lily sometimes suspected that Jill knew more about her Gryffindor friend than she was letting on.

Al and Scorpius sometimes joined them in the library when they were working. Jill was a hard worker, Al and Scorpius were both intelligent and ambitious and Lily as the youngest profited the most from their meetings - she wasn't surprised to see her marks steadily improving throughout that year. She was a bit sad that Hugo stayed away from the meetings in the library. But he only studied as much as necessary and greatly enjoyed his free time in the common room. Al was getting on well with Jill, and Lily thought that even Scorpius liked her, but with him, that was hard to tell. The four of them started to spend their Hogsmeade weekends together and once it got warmer, spent a lot of time out in the grounds together. Outside they weren't bound to their separate houses' common rooms, and it meant cheerful company away from the strict rules of the library. Lily found she liked this much better than being surrounded by Weasley cousins in the Gryffindor common room, where James still tried to claim his reign over the family.

One weekend in their summer term, they all sat underneath their favourite beech tree in the grounds. Al was lying on the grass at the feet of Scorpius, who sat with his back resting against the tree trunk. His blond head was thrown back and his grey eyes were closed. Compared to Scorpius's pale skin, Al looked positively tanned. That and his sparkling green eyes, which were so like Jill's, made him really good-looking. Lily noticed several sixth-year Ravenclaw girls shooting him looks from where they sat at the water's edge. Scorpius had noticed it, too. He grinned at Al. "Go for it. You've had them waiting long enough to spark their interest." Al laughed and hit him playfully on the arm. But he got up and walked casually over to the group by the lake. Lily had noticed that her brother seemed to like casual affairs with girls. She hadn't counted, but she was sure that he'd had several already. Though none seemed to last very long. Well, as long as Al was okay with that, she was. She caught Jill's eye, saw her soft smile and knew Jill was thinking the same. After a while, Al returned and laid down on the grass again. Scorpius raised an eyebrow at him and Al grinned. Lily was amazed by the way they seemed to communicate without words. Then she realised that she and Jill often did the same.

~*~

During the summer holidays before Lily's fourth year, she and Jill visited each other. Jill was amazed at all the people that seemed to be around Lily's parents' house all the time. She had only one brother and wasn't used to this mass of cousins. Al and Scorpius were staying in Godric's Hollow, too. Most of the time the four of them escaped the stuffy house full of Weasleys and Potters, and sat underneath a shady tree in the garden, drinking lemonade, or played Seeker-only Quidditch on a nearby field.

When Lily went over to visit Jill, she was welcomed good-naturedly by her parents. Ernie MacMillan had a pompous manner, but Lily found she didn't mind, and Hannah was just a funny and lovely person to be around. Jill's older brother, Julian, had already left Hogwarts and started his own business in the Magical Artefacts industry, which seemed to be going quite well. Most wizards and witches that were self-employed were either hard-working Hufflepuffs or ambitious Slytherins. Lily and Jill spent most of their time out on the beach or in the green hills of Wales, talking about this and that or simply enjoying each other's company in silence.

At the end of the summer holidays, Lily had got so used to Jill sleeping in the same room with her, to her small sounds when she was falling asleep, to her murmuring when Lily tried to wake her, that for the first time ever Lily was a bit sad about the return to Hogwarts and to their separate house dormitories.

Their friendship continued throughout the next year. At Christmas they managed to get their families together, which was a joyful experience especially for their fathers, who renewed their old friendship. Later that year Jill entered into her OWL phase and didn't have as much time for Lily as she used to. Lily was slightly let down by this, but reasoned with herself that it was in Jill's nature to work so hard and that she couldn't be put off it.

During the next Easter holidays, Jill stayed at Hogwarts to study, whereas Lily went home with Al. James was staying at Hogwarts, too, because it was his NEWT year, and because he had finally started dating Lucy Chang, who was also staying at Hogwarts because of her OWLs. Al had brought Scorpius along, and even though Rose and Hugo came over a couple of times, Lily spent most of her time playing Seeker-only Quidditch with Al and Scorpius.

One day, when Al had gone back to their house to help Ginny with the lunch, and Lily and Scorpius lay in the shade of an old ash tree on the field were they played their Quidditch, Scorpius suddenly said: "You play really well," and then lapsed back into his customary sneer. Surprised, Lily met his grey eyes, where she thought she saw a flicker of the friendliness of his compliment. During all their months together with Al and Jill, he had only rarely said anything purely friendly. A Slytherin never betrayed his feelings, and Scorpius was a true Slytherin down to the bottom of his soul. She didn't quite know what to say to his compliment except a feeble "thanks", and was glad when Al came back a little while later to fetch them for lunch.

~*~

Back at Hogwarts, Lily was around Al and Scorpius more, since Jill still didn't have as much time as she used to. She even started to finish her meals at the Slytherin table, because Jill often left the Great Hall early to study.

One evening, when Scorpius had Quidditch practice, Al asked her to take a walk in the grounds with him. They walked around the lake in the mild May evening air, watching the Slytherins on the pitch. Al looked at her.

"Lily, there is something I want to talk to you about, something I want you to know." He paused, hesitating slightly. "You might not have noticed, but I'm pretty sure Scorpius has fallen in love with you."

Lily stared at him, open mouthed, and couldn't believe it. How did he know? She hadn't had the slightest idea, except for that one moment underneath the ash during the holidays. And at that time, she had thought it was only after all those years that Scorpius's ice had melted and he had tried to be civil.

Al answered as though he had read her mind: "He would never let any of this slip to you until he can be sure you share his feelings. But I know him, and being a Slytherin myself I can read the signs. Scorpius is my best friend, but you are my sister and I want to warn you that he is going to try to make you fall in love with him."

Lily gasped.

"No, nothing illegal like a love potion or anything." Al quickly added. "He is honest deep down in his heart, and he wants you to truly be in love with him. He already found out that he can't impress you with Quidditch; he's lost every single match to you," Al shot her a grin, "but he is trying to find other ways. He's a Slytherin and a Malfoy to boot and I'm sure he's figuring you out at the moment."

Lily was at a loss for what to say. She stared at Scorpius's distant figure in the sky, his elegant manoeuvres, the gleam of the evening sun on his silver-blond head. Could he really be in love with her? It was almost impossible to read him, at least for her.

Al continued. "You're almost fifth year now. Most people have shown some interest or other by this time, and so shown everyone who's in the running. But you seem profoundly uninterested."

He paused, giving her the opportunity to say something, but Lily was still at a loss for words. Why did this have to happen? She wasn't in love with Scorpius, but she also didn't want to make Al's best friend sad. Why couldn't boys just leave her alone?

Al looked at her again and then said: "If, as I take it, you do not share Scorpius's feelings, it would be nice for him and useful for you, if you could let him know somehow. And I'm not talking about something Gryffindor like going to him and telling him. I mean something more subtle, like making clear that your interest lies... elsewhere."

"That sounds very calculating," Lily complained.

"Well, you have to calculate your love affairs, don't you?" Al asked.

"No," Lily said, "do you?"

Al looked at his feet and seemed strangely embarrassed for a moment. "Have to make sure," he murmured.

Lily was very bad at subtle Slytherin things the likes of which Al had mentioned, and would have liked Scorpius to just ask her out, so that she could simply refuse and be done with it. An instinct-driven decision, very Gryffindor, without any complicated calculations. However, as Al had said, that was not in Scorpius's nature. And as Lily had no chance to act according to her nature, she started avoiding Scorpius. She caught Jill in the library the day after the talk with Al.

"What's up?" Jill asked, knowing, as always, when something was troubling Lily.

Lily sighed and told Jill about what Al had said. "And he reckons I should just signal to everyone where my interest lies to stop the others thinking they might have a chance, especially Scorpius."

"And have you figured out where your interest lies?" asked Jill.

Something in her tone made Lily look at her, but she didn't have an answer to that question.

~*~

With this and that, Lily was glad when the summer holidays came; although thanks to a lengthy trip to Australia with her family, including Hermione and Ron with their children, she wouldn't see Jill until the end of August. But she also didn't have to put up with the presence of Scorpius, for which she was glad, despite feeling sorry for Al. However, as they met an Australian wizarding family with a beautiful daughter Al's age, it became clear that Al had other stuff on his mind than his best friend. Al had always been a player, and Lily was happy for him that he had met Sandra, the Australian witch, for he seemed to really like her.

Since Rose and Al were about to enter their NEWT year, Rose was getting obsessed with studying and stayed inside a lot of the time. Even when Harry and Ron tried to convince her to come along into the jungle to do some crocodile hunting with local witches and wizards, she refused, claiming her homework was too important. It was then that it dawned on Lily why Rose was a Ravenclaw and not a Gryffindor. She was afraid to do the crocodile hunting! Her intelligence seemed much greater than her bravery, whereas within her mother Hermione these two were a match. And adding Hermione's early conviction that Gryffindor was the best house, it became clear why she had been sorted into Gryffindor, and why Rose was not.

Lily felt that she had outgrown both Hugo and James, and with Al and Rose being busy, she had time to think things over. Jill's last question kept returning to her. Where did her interest lie? She tried picturing herself with a boyfriend, but the only guys she could imagine were those she had turned down, so that didn't work. One night, when she was lying alone on the beach, looking at the stars and listening to the sea, the answer came to her. Jill was her interest! She could quite easily picture her life with Jill at her side for ever. Then she thought about all the things couples normally did. She had never so much as kissed Jill. But now she thought about it, she realised she liked the feel of Jill's soft skin, liked being hugged by her and to sit close to her in the Great Hall, the library or in the grounds. Did that mean she was a lesbian? She tried picturing herself kissing Jill and immediately felt a swooping and prickling sensation in her stomach, like she had missed a step going down. That was the answer! But the glory of it faded quickly. Did Jill feel the same? She had never had any boyfriend and she was a year older than Lily. But that did not necessarily mean anything. Even if Jill didn't like boys, there was nothing saying that she was in love with Lily. Maybe she was in love with another girl, someone else than Lily. No! She refused to think that.

That night, Lily decided that she would find out what Jill felt for her when she next saw her. But first she would speak to Al and hear what he might have to say.

She got a chance to talk to Al a couple of days later. He was walking along the evening beach alone when Lily caught up with him.

"Hi Al. How come you're alone? Where's Sandra?"

"She had to get to some family event with her parents. What are you up to?"

"Nothing... well, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

Suddenly, Lily didn't know where to start.

"I'm not really sure myself... it's just... please don't get angry at me now, but I told Jill about Scorpius being in love with me and you advising me to show everyone where my interest lies, so that they know what to expect. And then Jill asked me where did I think does my interest lie."

"And...?"

"And I didn't know! And then it was the final exams and I didn't find time to think about it. But since we came here, I've had a lot of time to think and last night... last night I found the answer. And I think it's Jill."

Al smiled. "You mean you're in love with her?"

"I think so. I mean, when I think about kissing her, that feels just right. I've really no problems imagining spending the rest of my life with her. And now I think about it, I believe I've been in love with her ever since I first saw her. It's just that I've never thought of her that way before, never realised it. Well, I haven't really thought of myself that way before."

"Well, if you say it like this, I'm pretty sure you're in love with her and have been since you first met her."

"Really? What makes you say that?"

"It's a Weasley thing, I think, and we all have it. Look at Mum, she was in love with Dad ever since she first saw him, before his very first trip to Hogwarts. And Ron has been in love with Hermione ever since their first year, even if it took ages for him to realise it. And James, he's really been fretting all over Lucy for ages, but like Ron it took some time till it got home to him. And I'm ready to bet Hugo is in very much the same situation, though I'm not sure with whom."

"So, you don't mind that I'm in love with a girl?"

"Of course I don't! You're family, and if that's what makes you happy... well, who'd I be to spoil that for you?" He paused and then asked: "Are you going to ask Jill out?"

Lily was ready for that question at least. "Of course! Next time I see her, I'm going to find out what she feels for me. She never had a boyfriend, and she is a year older than me. Now I think about it, it's pretty obvious. I'm ready to bet she's a lesbian as well."

"You're so Gryffindor." Al laughed.

"Well, the worst that can happen is that she doesn't have feelings for me. But imagine: me not daring to ask her out and her having feelings for me, but us never getting together, because we both don't dare to ask!" She stopped, thinking that she was nevertheless nervous at the thought of telling Jill, and so risking to ruin their harmonious friendship. But then she thought of what Al had said before. If it was really true, Jill was the one, and she wouldn't feel like that for anyone else in her life.

A frown appeared on her face, and she said: "What about you, though? You just said we all have this Weasley thing of having been in love with Mr. or Ms. Right for ages. But you are more the player, really. Have you ever truly been in love?"

Al looked at her. "I've been in love with someone ever since I first boarded the Hogwarts Express. But they're not interested in me, so I decided to try out several others in the hope of finding someone who might be an acceptable substitute."

Lily's frown deepened. "Who is it? When you say "they", do you mean you are in love with a boy?"

"Yes."

"But why have you been trying it out with girls then, when you really want a boy?"

"Well, as I said, he isn't interested in me, he's straight. And how many gay guys are walking around at Hogwarts, do you reckon? If I want to find a substitute, it's far easier to just try out a lot of girls, 'cause, you know, I like girls as well."

"But who is the guy?"

Al looked uncomfortable. "Since it doesn't really matter anyway, I would rather not tell."

"Oh come on, Al, you can tell me! I'm not going to tell anyone. And anyway, you know about me being in love with Jill as well."

"Yes, but that's different, because there is a good chance that you are going to make it work with Jill. And, as I said, there is no chance that that guy is interested in me. He'll never be, so that's just that. And besides, you're a Gryffindor, you might not mind everyone knowing with whom you're in love. Lots of Gryffindors don't. But I'm a Slytherin and I don't want everyone to know such things about me."

"I'm not everyone, I'm family! And besides, you said people should make it clear where their interests lie."

"There's a difference, Lily. I show everyone where my interests lie, and that is with those girls! I want them to know that I'm looking for them. Makes finding an acceptable one a lot easier. But I don't want people to know that there is a guy whom I'm in love with. That would just make me vulnerable."

"Al, who is it?"

Now it was Al's turn to frown. "All right, you'll probably never rest now. Just don't tell anyone, Lily, no one, not even Jill or anyone in our family, 'cause I really don't want anyone to know."

"I won't. Who is it?"

"Scorpius."

Al stopped and Lily saw tears glittering in his eyes. She stepped up to him and pulled him into a long hug on the nightly beach.

~*~

Lily felt terribly sorry for Al. She imagined feeling about Jill the way she did and knowing that Jill was straight and secretly in love with one of her brothers. Even the pain of the imagination was torture to her, she didn't like picturing how much more Al suffered from the real thing. Would he ever find someone with whom he could make a life, someone who wasn't Scorpius Malfoy? She hoped so very much. She wished Al only the best, and knowing that he would never get what was best for him hurt her a great deal.

However, when they got back from Australia, Al was pushed to the back of Lily's mind. She would be spending the last week of the holidays at Jill's place, and then their families would meet at the Leaky Cauldron the night before the Hogwarts Express left. Jill greeted her with the same smile and the same sparkling green eyes as ever. As they hugged, Lily wondered why she hadn't realised that she was in love with Jill before.

"Did you have a good time in Australia?" Jill asked.

"Yes, it was a very interesting holiday," Lily replied, and as she met Jill's eyes she knew that Jill sensed more behind her words.

At tea, Jill told her about her OWL results. She had got a couple of Outstandings, several Exceeded Expectations, and two Acceptables. Lily was happy for Jill, and it was cute seeing how proud Ernie and Hannah were. But she found it nevertheless hard to concentrate. Now that it had come to telling Jill about her feelings, she wasn't at all sure how to do that.

That night they sat huddled close together on Jill's bed, Jill reading a book to Lily. Lily felt Jill's body against hers, felt her chest rising and falling gently with her breathing, heard her voice washing over her, all the while wondering how she could possibly tell Jill what she felt.

"Lily...?"

Lily startled up from her thoughts. Jill had stopped reading and had put the book down on the bed.

"What is it?"

"I said that it's late, maybe we should be going to sleep."

"Sleep...? I'm sorry, I think I was already half asleep."

Jill smiled. "You looked peaceful. What did you think about?"

At first, Lily couldn't answer. It was like her mouth had suddenly gone dry. Tell her now, a voice said inside her head. She raised her gaze and met Jill's eyes. Why was this so hard?

"You," she confessed.

Jill said nothing but just looked at Lily. Lily couldn't read her gaze and got nervous again. What if she had been wrong? What if Jill wasn't in love with her? What if Jill was straight? And she had said the unforgivable, the irreversible, she had confessed.

Agonised, Lily jumped of the bed. Jill caught her by the arm. Her voice sounded hoarse as she said: "Lily... do I understand you right? You... are you..." Jill stopped, seemingly lost for words and searching in Lily's eyes.

Lily's doubts were blown away in one breath of air. She fell into Jill's arms and pushed both of them down onto the bed. "Yes," she whispered into Jill's neck.

"Oh Lily," Jill murmured, stroking Lily's neck, "I've waited so long."

Lily drew back and met Jill's eyes. "I'm so sorry. I've been in love with you ever since I first saw you. But it was not until this summer that I realised it."

"As long as you've realised it now," Jill said, half laughing, and reached out for Lily.

Then they kissed in sheer bliss and sank back into the pillows.

Later that night they were lying together in bed. Lily was cuddled comfortably against Jill's warm body, enjoying the feeling of it.

Jill suddenly said: "I somehow knew that this would happen. When you came down to the Quidditch pitch that night, I knew you were there because you felt more than friendship. Simple friendship after one encounter wouldn't have made you come down then. I thought you knew it, back then. That's why I said that it had been very Gryffindor of you to come, very daring, because you couldn't know what I felt. Only when you said nothing to that, I realised that you weren't aware of what I was sure you felt even then. Even more Gryffindor of you to come down then, when you didn't even know why you did it, and just acted on an impulse."

Lily looked at Jill. "I've always had the feeling that you knew more about me than you were letting on. And I suppose that is very Hufflepuff, isn't it, not saying anything all these years? I could never be patient enough for that. I'm like my granddad in that. He kept asking Lily Evans to go out with him for two solid years before she finally realised that she liked him."

"Well, I had to let you find out for yourself. What use is impatience? Everyone needs to go at their own pace. If you hurry someone too much, you can do more damage than good. And I did give you small signs throughout the last years."

Lily laughed for the simple pleasure of it all and kissed Jill again.

~*~

The week went by much too quickly for Lily's liking, and soon she found herself among her family again. The night before the Hogwarts Express left, they were to meet in the Leaky Cauldron with Jill's whole family, including Julian, and Lily's whole family. Even James would be there: he was about to start his job in their uncle George's joke shop in Hogsmeade, and would be coming with them on the Hogwarts Express, so that he could be with Lucy on the journey. And of course Ron, Hermione, Hugo and Rose would be in the Leaky Cauldron, they always did such things together with Lily's family. Then Lucy and her whole family planned to meet them: her twin, Lena, and her parents, Cho Chang and Michael Corner. Scorpius would be there as well; his whole family had been invited by Al, but he came alone.

Jill had been out to her family for quite some time, and she and Lily hadn't made a secret of their relationship while staying with Jill's parents. Now it was time for Lily to come out to her parents. Back in Australia, Al had offered to back her up. But now she felt she first wanted to talk to her parents alone. So before dinner she made her way into their room. She knocked and entered on Ginny's answering yes. Suddenly she found herself almost as nervous as she had been a week before, when she had told Jill about her feelings.

"Uh... " Lily felt like she'd lost her voice again. Ginny was sitting at the desk, writing something, and Harry was sitting on their bed beside an open trunk, re-sorting some clothes.

"What is it, dear?" Ginny asked, seeing the strained expression on her daughter's face.

"I've got something to tell you," Lily said. Harry shifted on the bed and patted the empty space next to him, inviting her to sit down. Lily consented gladly to this time-buying procedure.

"Spit it out," Harry said, grinning at her.

Lily swallowed and then decided on the hard way; both her parents were Gryffindors after all. "Mum, Dad, I'm a lesbian." Silence greeted her words. Lily quickly thought about Jill and how happy she was to be with her. "And Jill is my girlfriend. You may not like it, but that's the way it is. That's what makes me happy. That's who I am."

"Lily, that is...," Harry started, but Ginny cut across him. "Perfectly okay with us, dear. You're our daughter, we love you, and we'll support you in your decisions, whatever they are."

"Well," Harry objected, "not if you decided to study the Dark Arts, but really, being lesbian is not quite as big an issue as that."

He grinned at Lily, and Lily grinned back. "So you're okay with it?"

Harry hugged her. "Of course we are."

"I just thought you should know," Lily said, "'cause Jill's parents know already, and since we're all meeting tonight, I thought it would be best if I tell you before."

"Have you told your brothers already?" Ginny asked.

"Al knows. He was the first I talked to after I realised it myself. But James, I don't think he'd be all right with it. I'm not sure if he's... mature enough."

Harry laughed. "Go and fetch them both. If James makes trouble, I'll read him a lecture."

Lily and Ginny both laughed.

Lily went to Al's room first. She knocked and Al looked up to puzzle at the happy expression on her face.

"Lily!"

"Hey Al, I've just told Mum and Dad about me and Jill being together now."

"Wow, congratulations! Both on telling them, and on being with Jill." He stepped to her and hugged her. "I'm so happy for you, little sister. At least it works for one of us."

"Yeah," Lily smiled a little sadly, "I just hope you'll find someone as well."

"Never mind that now. What did they say?"

"They're okay with it. They want me to fetch you and James so that he'll know as well."

"All right then, I'm coming. I don't want to miss that."

He and Lily fetched James and then returned to their parents' room. When Lily told James about her relationship with Jill, he wasn't at all happy at first. But then Harry read the promised lecture to him. Faced with his parents' unquestioning support for Lily, James finally had to accept her choices as well. Lily hadn't felt so happy in a long time: no longer having to face James's would-be head of the family, being out to her parents and accepted by them, and being together with Jill! It could hardly be much better.

They were a merry lot in the Leaky Cauldron that night. Since they were a party of eighteen, hardly anyone else found room in the bar. Lily was sitting next to Jill, and they made no secret of their relationship. Lily couldn't have been happier. Her mother had told Ron and Hermione, who in turn had told their children. Lucy's parents were much too Ravenclaw to be upset by the sight of a lesbian couple, and their daughters simply were two ideal open-minded Gryffindors. All evening, Lily could feel the cold grey gaze of Scorpius, who was sitting between Al and Rose just opposite her. Lily was sure that he would give up any hopes of ever dating her now. She had done exactly what Al had told her to do. She had shown everyone where her interest lay. She might have been vaguely concerned about Scorpius, since he was a Slytherin and a Malfoy, which didn't exactly speak for his tolerance or open-mindedness. But since he was Al's best friend, she felt confident that he would never try to do something to her.

~*~

Lily spent her happiest year at Hogwarts ever. Her parents had told all their children about the Room of Requirement, but since Al didn't really need it, Lily felt confident about spending a lot of her nights there with Jill and so making it unavailable to anyone else. She stopped hanging around with Al and Scorpius so much, partly because she still didn't want to be around Scorpius, and partly because she just wanted to be alone with Jill. As the weeks went by she realised how much she loved Jill, and what love truly meant. When they were in the same room, Lily always knew where Jill was, even without looking at her; she always knew when Jill entered a room and she always saw Jill first, when she herself entered somewhere. She knew about all of Jill's habits, and was so used to them that she missed her typical gestures, her small sounds, the look in her green eyes, when she wasn't around. She also knew about Jill's weaknesses and found herself loving them just as much, because they were part of Jill.

She was happy that boys left her well alone now, even though she still was Gryffindor's popular Quidditch hero, and now captain of the team to boot (Daniel Wood had left with James the year before). The best match she ever played in was the one Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff that year. Playing against Jill had always been great fun in the past. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff weren't such great rivals in Quidditch as Gryffindor and Slytherin, so when they played it was more about fun than about winning (even though Lily was proud that Jill had never managed to beat her). Their match that year, however, would set a new Quidditch record.

It was Lily's first match as captain and the first match of that season for both houses. The final was still wide open and hardly depended on the outcome of this match, so the pressure was relatively low on all concerned. The Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors of course animatedly supported their separate houses' teams, and the Slytherins would always oppose the Gryffindor team. But most Ravenclaws hadn't taken sides, and the atmosphere in the stands was as friendly as it could possibly be during a Hogwarts Quidditch match. Lily shook hands with Rachel Smith, the Hufflepuff captain, then blew a kiss over to Jill before taking off. She and Jill spiralled around each other until they were high above the other players. There they sped off in opposite directions to circle the pitch in search of the Snitch. Each time they met in mid-air they did some loops or pirouettes around each other, to great cheering from the crowd. The Chasers below them did good work. Lily had trained her team well, but the Hufflepuffs were a match for them. It looked like the Seekers' work would decide the ultimate outcome.

When Lily first saw the Snitch, she was at the Gryffindor end and Jill at the Hufflepuff one. The Snitch fluttered around mid-way up the pitch, and by the looks of it, Jill had seen it, too. They both accelerated and Lily heard the crowd give a great collective gasp as she and Jill sped towards each other, head on. Lily didn't take her eyes of the Snitch, and she didn't need to. She knew they wouldn't crash; she had played against Jill during the holidays, and it always ended in spectacular moves. Lily stretched out her hand, ready to grasp the Snitch, and saw Jill do the same. The crowd was going mad. Lily pulled her broom slightly to the right, her left hand extended towards the tiny golden ball. Ahead of her, Jill mirrored her movements. And then their hands met in mid-air, the Snitch caught neatly between them and sending them into another pirouette. Every single student was on their feet now, cheering and clapping, as Lily and Jill slowly sank to the ground, their hands still tightly intertwined and their eyes locked. In the end, the Snitch's flesh memory confirmed that they had both touched it at exactly the same time, and it was the Chasers' work that decided the narrow victory for Gryffindor (310 vs 300).

Later that year, Lily started studying for her OWLs, and even though she didn't work quite as much as Jill had, she still spent a lot of time in the library. A lot of fifth and seventh years now sat in the library till late in the night, and Lily was surprised to often see Rose, Al and Scorpius together, almost like Al, Scorpius, Jill and herself had sat together two years ago. During their OWL phase, Rose had mostly studied with her Ravenclaw friends or quite alone, and Al and Scorpius had mostly stayed to themselves. But then again, everyone changed, and since Rose had only recently broken up with her first boyfriend, who was in her year in Ravenclaw, it seemed understandable that she wanted to stay away from the Ravenclaws for some time.

Lily mostly studied with Hugo. Now that she was spending more time with her cousin again, she found out that he was very much in love with a beautiful black-haired Gryffindor fourth-year girl called Paula Patil. He kept shooting her looks when she was around, and couldn't refrain from ruffling his hair on the occasions that she looked at him. Lily was surprised that she didn't mind it a bit and instead thought it rather cute. Hugo somehow reminded her simultaneously of his father Ron and of her grandfather James, after all she had heard about him. She wondered if Hugo would ever make it work between him and Paula, and wished him the courage he needed to ask her out. But he spoke little about girls, and Lily's head was much too full with Jill and her OWLs to mind that much.

~*~

That summer Jill came over to Lily's place when her OWL results were due. James had taken Lucy, who was now off age, to a trip through the US, but Al, Scorpius, Rose and Hugo all were around their house as well.

When the results came and Rose got only 'Outstanding' NEWTs, they decided to throw a big party. Al and Scorpius had both done really well, too, both of them had mostly 'Outstanding' NEWTs. Lily got 'Outstanding' in Charms and Potions; Hugo, expectedly, got none (though a lot of 'Exceeded Expectations').

As Rose held her letter in her hand, she and Scorpius looked at each other, and Lily knew what was going to happen the moment before it did. Scorpius bent down and they kissed passionately. Everyone was looking at them, so Lily was the only one who saw the grief and incredible loneliness on Al's face at that moment, and the extent to which he felt both was revealed by his inability to hide any of it.

Later that night Lily found out that she hadn't been the only one to see Al's face at the moment of Scorpius's kissing Rose. She was lying in bed, in Jill's arms, exhausted after their love-making.

"Al's in love with Scorpius, isn't he?" Jill asked.

Only slightly surprised, Lily nodded.

"What do you reckon is he going to do now?"

Lily sighed. "I don't know. Last summer, when I found out about my feelings for you, I talked to Al about love. He said that it is this Weasley thing, to be in love with Mr. or Ms. Right from the moment we first see them. That is how it was with my mum, with my uncle Ron and with James, and I think also with Hugo. That was also how it was with me." She looked at Jill, who smiled and stroked Lily's cheek. "Only when with most of us it worked out, with Al it didn't. He's going to hate me for telling you this, but he's been in love with Scorpius for ages, ever since he first saw him on platform 9 ¾ before his very first year at Hogwarts. But Scorpius is straight. He will never love Al the way Al loves him. Al is bi, so he has been trying out a lot of girls, hoping to find some acceptable substitute. I think it was worse for him to actually see Scorpius with someone else than just knowing he would never be with him. ... I feel so sorry for him." Lily's voice shook and Jill wrapped her in her arms. "I guess you should go and find your brother now."

In the dead of the night, Lily found Al at the end of their garden. The moon was illuminating his features, and even in the ghostly light she could still see the loneliness in his eyes that was never to leave him now. She also saw his tears, and it broke her heart. She hadn't seen Al cry for years. She didn't say a word, just stepped up to him and hold him.

After a long silence, Al stepped back, stared out over their garden hedge and began to talk. "I knew that this would happen. When we were studying together, I could feel Scorpius falling for Rose, like I had felt him falling for you. And then Rose told me that she has been in love with him since first year, almost as long as I have. Only she didn't want to believe it, because of what Uncle Ron had been saying about him. So she avoided him. And when that Ravenclaw boy fell for her, she tried it out with him to forget Scorpius. Very much like me." His laugh sounded forced and humourless.

"But like my tries, hers didn't work. During the NEWT phase they got quite close, and I knew that this was what would come from that. I wish I could at least be happy for her, be happy that she doesn't have to face what I have to, but I can't." His voice was punctuated with sobs.

Lily put her hand on his shoulder. "What are you going to do now?"

Al turned and looked her in the eyes. "I'm leaving. I'm doing what my first namesake couldn't. I'm going to tour the world. And I hope that in the years to come, I can manage what Albus Dumbledore did, and forget the man I love above all others." He was silent for a moment. "I have written Mum and Dad a letter. I hope they'll understand." Silence again. "I wish you only the best, Lily. Take care." With that he hugged her and then turned away to pick up a backpack from near the hedge.

Lily stood at the garden gate and watched Al walk away, his backpack high on his back. She knew she wouldn't see her brother for a long time, and it was only Jill's hand that slipped quietly into hers at that moment that stopped her from breaking down. "He should have been a Gryffindor after all, with the courage he's got..." And her voice cracked with tears as Jill pulled her into a hug.