Less Than Strangers

Chapter Eight

Hermione woke with a start. She blinked rapidly to clear her vision. After a few seconds, she recognised the now familiar shapes of Severus' guest bedroom, and lay back down with a sigh.

A little over a week had passed since he had brought her to his home. Christmas had been an awkward affair.

Severus persuaded her to write to her parents, and after a long discussion she finally agreed. She sent a short note, telling them that she was alright and that their presents were upstairs under the bed in her room. When the owl returned, there was a present for her and a long letter from her mum. She didn't read the letter, but she unpacked the present. Not surprisingly, her parents sent her a few books. Oddly enough, this year she would have liked something different.

The presents from her friends were predictable. There was a self-made cake from Hagrid, a small photo album from Harry (with lots of photos from their sixth year), a new set of quills from Ron and lots of sweets from other people in her year. She also received a pair of socks from the headmaster. She felt a little guilty about not getting him anything - but then again, Dumbledore had never before given her anything, so it wasn't surprising that she didn't have anything to give in return.

The atmosphere was a bit tense that day, since neither of them was comfortable with the Holiday. There weren't any decorations, but she didn't mind. In fact, she thought she couldn't handle a fully-fledged Christmas that year.

That night, they sat in silence, neither knowing what to say. She had made him a present, but she wasn't sure if she should give it to him. She felt silly - her present for him was a self-made calendar, personalised and colour coded. She had one herself, and Severus had commented on how practical it was. So she had made him one. But at that moment, it seemed childish and awkward.

Finally, Severus reached into his pocket and handed her a present. Relieved, she handed over hers as well. She watched him unpack the calendar, and immediately knew that it had been the right present. Severus inspected the calendar from all sides until he opened it. He wrote his name onto the first page, and the script flashed brightly orange for a second. That was a charm that prevented anyone but the owner to read the entries being activated. He thanked her, and then waited for her to unpack.

Hesitantly, she had pulled off the wrapping. She just hoped that it wasn't anything romantic. She wasn't sure she could deal with that.

She had been surprised. Severus had given her a knife. And not just a knife to chop potion ingredients - a real knife, one that was made for combat. The handle was made of dark, almost black, wood, with her initials, surrounded by little stars, craved into it. The blade was about eight inches long, both sides sharpened. The metal it was made out of was unlike anything she knew. It had an odd colour - a dark grey that changed to a dark blue or a complete black when you moved it in the light. It had been the best present of all.

Glancing at the bedside table, she frowned and shook off the memory. It was eight thirty already. Normally, she and Severus would be in the lab already, preparing ingredients for the day. Over the last week they had fallen into a routine of daily potions making. They would start early and prepare ingredients, then brew several potions and experiment with variations of other potions.

She took a closer look at her alarm clock and noticed that the alarm was turned off. Why didn't he wake me up? she wondered. A bit miffed, she dressed quickly and went down into the kitchen.

On her way downstairs, she passed the lab. It was not, as she had expected before her arrival, in the dungeons, but on the first floor, opposite the bedrooms. The first time she saw it she just stood there with her mouth open, gaping speechlessly at the enormous room that stretched over the whole side of the building. On one side, there were cauldrons of every size and material lined up on long rows of tables, with working spaces in between. Another wall was hidden behind high wooden shelves containing all kinds of potion ingredients. Drying plants hung from the ceiling, and in one corner there were several sacks filled with already dried herbs. On the side facing the door, several cages and terrariums for various animals sat, and the window-sills were packed with flowerpots of varying sizes, different kinds of plants stretched out towards the sun.

Severus had explained that the humid air in dungeons normally caused the ingredients to become mouldy and that it needed special spells to prevent that. He thought it wasn't worth the trouble to do those spells at home since he spend most of his time at Hogwarts.

Hermione walked into the kitchen and found Severus bent over some scrolls. He didn't look up to greet her, but she knew he wasn't being rude on purpose. He was probably so enthralled by what he was reading that he hadn't noticed her yet.

Quietly, she poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. Severus looked up.

"Good morning. You are awake already?"

"Hmm," she said, swallowing her coffee quickly. She hadn't noticed it was still so hot. Breathing through her mouth, she tried to cool her tongue a bit. "Someone," she started after a while, "turned off the alarm. I wonder who it was..."

Severus looked up again. "I thought you could use a bit of extra sleep." His expression was serious when he continued. "How long have you been having these nightmares?"

Hermione looked down. Two nights ago, she had woken up screaming. Only seconds later, Severus had stormed in, wand at the ready. She had been forced to tell him about her nightmares.

"I don't know," she said warily.

"Hermione." She didn't even have to look up to know his expression had changed from serious to reproachful.

"A month," she said. "Maybe two."

"Have you seen Madam Pomfrey?"

She nodded. "She gave me a potion. It worked - but only as long as I took it." She hadn't gone back to Madam Pomfrey. The older witch asked many questions, and she didn't know if she wanted to answer them.

Severus didn't reply. He was studying the scrolls again, but she was sure he would want to talk about it again.

Hermione finished her coffee and put the empty mug into the sink. "Are we going to work today?" she asked, leaning against the table.

Severus nodded. "Yes, but I need to translate this first." He pointed towards the scrolls. "You can start, if you want."

Hermione nodded eagerly.

"I wanted to try a variation of the Wolfsbane Potion today," Severus continued. "Lupin says that he is feeling more restless before and after the full moon, and I thought that he might develop a resistance against the potion. If we change the ingredients, his body will have to adjust before it can start resisting again. That will buy us time to find a permanent fix."

"So, what do I have to do?"

Severus started to look uneasy. "Maybe I should do it. It's a bit-"

"Severus! I can handle your delicate ingredients," she said. "It's not as if I'm incompetent."

"I know. It's not that." He met her eyes. "We'll need a lizard's eyes and the heart of a mouse."

"Okay," she said. That doesn't sound too hard.

"They have to be fresh," Severus added. "In fact, the lizard has to be alive when the eyes are removed, and the mouse mustn't be killed by magic. You can't use anaesthetics either, because they would get into the mouse's blood circle and into its heart. From there they would go into the potion and ruin it." He narrowed his eyes. She did not look away. "Do you think you can do that? Kill a mouse and hurt another animal?"

Hermione swallowed. She had never killed an animal, not even by accident. Her dad had run over a cat once when they were on their way home from a visit at her grandparents', and she had cried all the way home. But she'd been seven, and she was older now. She knew that mice didn't live too long anyway, and Lupin needed this potion. Not only for his safety, but for others as well.

She nodded. "I can do it."

"Very well, then. I'll be up in an hour," Severus said. "A list of ingredients is on my desk."

Hermione turned and went upstairs. At least now I have a reason to put Severus' present to use.

***

Hermione was pacing. The ingredients of a Wolfsbane Potion were similar to a Polyjuice Potion. They were the basic ingredients used in every potion that had to do with human transformations. She had prepared the fluxweed (that had been picked at a new moon instead of a full moon), the powdered bicorn horn, the leech juice and of course she had chopped the monkshood, along with other herbs and plants. The only things that were missing were the lizard eyes and the heart of the mouse.

She swallowed. Carefully, she lifted one of the lizards out of their terrarium and carried it over to the workbench. She didn't want to hurt the animal more than necessary, so she quickly tied it to the table and raised the knife. She needed to cut around the eye and then remove the eyeballs without damaging the iris. It should be easy enough. She swallowed again and gripped the handle of her knife tighter, her hand hovering ten inches over the lizard.

The force of the memory hit her so hard that she almost fainted. One second, she was standing over the work table, and the next moment, she was back in the dank dungeon, being tied to a table. A hooded Death Eater was standing over her, and he seemed to be grinning through the ugly mask. She shivered, and then she saw a flash of bright silver. He had a knife. But just when she thought he was going to cut her, hurt her with that knife, another Death Eater came in, dragging a girl with him. She seemed to be a bit younger than Hermione, and she was crying. Hermione didn't have any tears left. Then the man with the knife laughed, and went over to the girl. He told her to watch. He pinned the girl down with his weight and gripped the knife firmly. Then he cut out her eyes. She couldn't look away - the other one forced her to watch. The girl screamed and wailed and pleaded. In the end, they cut her throat.

The clattering sound of her knife falling to the ground brought her back to reality. She blinked away the tears and the shame. She hadn't done anything to help the girl. She was disgusting. And now she planned to do the very same thing to an innocent animal. She knew what the lizard was feeling, being tied to a table and threatened with a knife. She knew how much it hurt to be cut and cut and cut, again and again and again. How could she even consider doing such a horrible and disgusting thing?

Professor Lupin needs this potion, the logical part of her mind tried to reason. He could hurt innocents if he wasn't restrained in some way.

"Then why not lock him up in a cell deep underground, where no one will find him?", she whispered. At the same time she knew that she didn't mean that. She couldn't let Lupin hurt and kill innocent bystanders, but she couldn't let him hurt himself either.

It's inhumane, locking him up like an animal, the voice of reason said. He's your friend. And sometimes, we must make sacrifices for our friends.

She nodded slowly, and bent to pick up the knife. It's just an animal, she repeated over and over in her head.

Basically a lower life form, the voice added.

Hermione froze. I'm just like them, she thought with horror. I will hurt and kill, all because I think it's a small sacrifice for a greater good. I'm just like them.

"I'm just like them," she whispered. She couldn't afford not to be. She raised the knife.

After she had made the first cut, it went easier. It took her only five attempts to cut the eyes out of the lizard's skull. The animal writhed and wriggled, but she held it firmly in place. Once she had the eyes removed from the animal, she put them into a jar filled with a mixture of brine and leech juice. Later, when the lizard eyes had dissolved in the liquid, it would be added to the potion.

She healed the animals wounds and carefully put it back into the terrarium. "I'm sorry," she said.

When she cleaned her knife, she felt strangely detached from herself. Her whole body was numb, yet tense. She knew it had been necessary, and she knew that there was no one that would hold it against her that she hurt the lizard. But it was the fact that she didn't feel more horrified and disgusted with herself that made her frown. Maybe she really was as horrible as those Death Eaters.

She went over to the mouse cage and knelt down, her head now on one level with the mice. "Now, which of you wants to go?" she asked, and opened the cage door. The mice seemed to sense the danger emanating from her. They all shied away when she tried to touch them, and they squeaked loudly. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this." She grabbed the nearest mouse. It tried to free itself, and even managed to bite her finger. She cursed and grabbed the leather straps to tie down the wriggling animal. After consulting the book, she knew where she had to cut and how deep she could go before she could uncover the heart.

She worked quickly and efficiently. The mouse squeaked loudly when she started, but died shortly afterwards. Against the white fur of the mouse and the pale colour of her hands, the blood was shockingly red, and outright hot. And there was a lot of it. She hadn't known that an animal that small could have so much blood in it.

"Consider it not so deeply," she murmured quietly to herself, quoting from her favourite Shakespearean play.[1]

Soon enough her hands were bloody, and the tiny heart lay in her palm. She though she could almost feel it still beating. Shaking her head, she put the heart into a bowl and covered it with the bicorn horn powder. That way, the powder's magical energy seeped into the heartstrings of the mouse and made it a powerful agent in the reaction.

She wiped her hands off with a towel and then wrapped the mouse's body with the blood-stained cloth. She carefully lifted the bundle and went downstairs. She wanted to bury it properly in the garden. Perhaps near the old oak tree that stood by the lake. Although she had the feeling that she wouldn't need to ask for permission, she thought it would only be polite to ask if she could bury the mouse on his grounds.

She had to push the kitchen door open with her shoulder since her arms were full. "Severus, I wanted to ask-" She broke off. Severus wasn't alone in the kitchen.

Remus Lupin was sitting at the table, a cup of steaming hot tea in front of him. Severus had shoved the scrolls aside and was taking notes about what Lupin told him. She assumed they were talking about his lycanthropy.

Both men had looked up when she had entered the kitchen, and they were now staring at her.

She bit her lip. She was sure that no one knew about her and Severus' former relationship, but she didn't know if they knew she was visiting him. But knowing Severus and the headmaster, and judging from Lupin's bewildered stare, she was pretty sure that no one knew where she spent her holidays.

"Hermione?" he finally asked.

She nodded, and said weakly, "Hello, Remus."

She shot a glance at Severus. He was scowling, and, upon her questioning gaze, nodded towards the bundle in her arms. She looked down. Of course, the mouse. She had forgotten all about that.

"What are you doing here?" Lupin asked, his gaze drifting from Hermione's face to the bloody bundle in her arms, and to Severus.

"I was," she started, but then stopped. What should she say? Killing a mouse so that its heart could be used in a potion that prevents you from killing anyone?

"Preparing the ingredients," Severus said, drawing Lupin's attention towards him.

Or that, she thought dryly.

"And what kinds of ingredients require the one preparing them to carry dead animals through the house?" Lupin asked, his voice cold. He stared at Severus accusingly.

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Ingredients of the Wolfsbane Potion," she said sharply, before Severus started insulting Lupin. "And before you asked, I volunteered to prepare them."

With that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen, and into the gardens.

***

"And there I was, thinking that you were the one with a brain," Severus sneered. "But between Black and Potter and that snivelling Pettigrew, it probably wasn't very hard to come off as intelligent."

Remus turned his gaze from the door where Hermione had been only seconds before to the Potions Master. Severus' face was expressionless, but in his eyes, Remus could see hatred and contempt.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know she was here." That was true. He hadn't known. Dumbledore had told him that she was somewhere safe, but he had obviously forgotten to mention that 'somewhere safe' was Severus Snape's house.

The first second after Hermione's entry, he had panicked. He had smelled blood on her, and had been alarmed. But then he had realised it wasn't human blood, but animal blood. But still, seeing Hermione with bloody hands and smelling of blood had been shocking.

"You stay here," Severus said and rose from his chair. He put his quill down and went to the door. "And don't touch anything," he called, already leaving the room.

Remus sat for a moment. Hermione Granger was spending her Christmas Holidays at Severus Snape's house. It was hard to understand why she would want to. And he did not doubt that she did want to. She had been smiling when she entered the room, and she had called him 'Severus'. Even he was not delusional enough to assume they still hated each other.

A friendship with the greasy git, he mused. Harry and Ron would be disgusted. He smiled. Those two had always been narrow-minded. They only saw black and white, but couldn't grasp the shades of grey in between. Being a werewolf, he knew what it meant to be supposedly evil. It was the same with Slytherins. Because of what they were, everyone assumed they were evil. He knew how hard it was to overcome these prejudices, and how easy it was to give in to it instead. After all, it was far easier to be what people expect you to be than to prove them wrong and gain their respect and trust.

He tilted his head to the side, but he couldn't hear them talking. They were probably outside.

Careful not to touch anything, Remus went into Severus' study. From there, he could overlook almost all of the grounds and a part of the forest.

He spotted them immediately. Hermione was kneeling beside a tree by the frozen lake. Her shoulders were shaking. She was either cold, or crying. Or both, he thought. And it's my fault.

Severus' black coat was billowing behind him as he crossed the grounds as fast as he could.

He reached Hermione's kneeling form and placed a coat over her shoulders, crouching down next to her. They seemed to be talking, and then Severus drew his wand.

***

Hermione ran. She ran until she couldn't breathe anymore, then she slumped down on her knees and started to cry. She was still holding the mouse's body, so she couldn't wipe away the tears that were tickling her. But she didn't mind.

It was icy outside, and her trousers started to soak with cold, wet snow. Her throat hurt from crying and breathing in the dry winter air, but she still didn't mind.

She didn't move - she couldn't. She had forgotten her wand, and without it, she couldn't bury the mouse. The ground was frozen and covered with ice and snow. She could hardly dig a hole with her bare hands.

Then Severus was there. He knelt down beside her and put a warm cloak around her shoulders.

"Shh," he said soothingly, and carefully stroke her back. It didn't hurt because her whole body was numb from the cold. "You wanted to bury it?" he asked, and she knew that he didn't expect an answer. She nodded nevertheless.

He took out his wand and murmured a spell. The snow and ice melted away and soon, a small hole appeared in the ground. He carefully took the bundle and laid it down gently. Then he covered it with earth.

Only then did she look up, and found him watching her. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. She didn't know what she was sorry for. Was she sorry for killing the animal, or was it because she was making an embarrassing scene? Or was it maybe because she let Lupin know she was here? In the end she decided that it hardly mattered.

"I know," he simply said, and stood up. He helped her to her feet, and together they stared into the distance.

"I didn't think I could do it," she finally admitted. "I always thought I could never-" Her voice faltered and then broke.

He didn't reply but continued to stare at something out of her sight.

"Does it get easier?" she asked, and shifted from one foot to the other. Her legs were cold, and she was still shaking. She drew the cloak tighter around her.

Severus still didn't reply.

"I am just like them," she whispered.

Severus' head whipped around. "No, you are not," he said sharply, making her flinch. "Hermione, listen. You are nothing like these monsters. You did what was necessary, and you didn't enjoy it. You did it because it was the lesser of two evils. You had to choose between killing one innocent being or endangering hundreds of others." Severus paused and drew in a breath. "You just proved that you weren't like them, just by doubting yourself, and doubting your actions."

Hermione thought about it, and found that he was right. She was not like them. She was not a monster.

They fell silent again, and she moved a bit closer to him. She was still cold, and she remembered the warmth Severus could emanate. Her hand brushed his, and he shot her a sideway glance. She took his hand.

"Can we go back inside?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied. "We should get started on the potion soon."

She nodded, and together they went back into the house.

***

Remus watched them, fascinated. He had never seen Severus react like that. They were now harder to make out because they were sitting so close together. He couldn't tell where Hermione stopped and Severus began. After a while, they stood up, but neither of them moved away.

They seemed to be talking.

Remus frowned. Are they holding hands?

He went back into the kitchen, pretending he hadn't watched them. Thoughts were spinning in his mind, images of Hermione and Snape, together at Order meetings, flashed before his eyes. Now that he thought about it, they always seemed to sit close together. Of course, Harry and Ron were always flanking Hermione, but Snape was never far away from her, and usually, the two of them arrived together, while Harry travelled with the headmaster, and Ron accompanied an Order member from Hogsmeade. He'd always thought that was coincidental, but now... He would, of course subtly, ask Harry and Ron if Snape was often around them, and Hermione especially.

The kitchen door opened and Hermione came in. Her red face was stained with dried tears, and she was biting her lip. Severus stood behind her, and Remus had the strong suspicion that he was somehow touching, holding her.

"Remus, I'm sorry," she burst out. "I was just-" She broke off, tears shimmering in her eyes.

Remus was shocked. Hermione Granger was one of the most calm and composed people he ever met, and she hadn't even cried after her rescue, as far as he knew.

Severus placed a hand on her shoulder, and she calmed down a bit. "Maybe you should go and clean yourself up, Miss Granger," he said. "I have special soap in my bathroom upstairs."

"Yes, Professor," she said in a flat voice. She still sounded very upset, and left without another word.

Severus came back to the table and gathered his scrolls and his notebook in his arms. "I'm afraid you'll have to go now, Lupin," he said, his voice the usual cold sneer.

"No," Remus said, surprising even himself. "I want to know what's going on. Is Hermione alright?"

"And again you manage to destroy all evidence of your intelligence by asking the stupidest questions," Severus said. "Of course she is not alright!"

"Why is she here? And why are you two so... chummy all of a sudden? Does Dumbledore know of this?" he asked, standing up.

"It's the safest place for her at the moment," Severus said, putting the scrolls and sheets of paper into a bag. "And that's none of your business."

Remus exploded. "Of course it is my business!" he yelled. "She's-"

"Yes, Lupin. Pray tell, what exactly is she to you?" Severus shot back.

"I... I," Remus stammered. He didn't know what to say. She had been his student, but she was Severus' student, too. She was a friend of Harry's, but that didn't put him in a position where he could judge her or her actions. So far, it didn't seem as if she was here against her will. It was just that he cared for the girl, and he didn't want to see her hurt.

"Exactly," Severus said, his eyes clouded with emotion. It was then that Remus realised that Severus cared for her, too. Maybe more than he could imagine. And by the looks of it, she cared for him as well.

For a moment, neither of them moved. Then Severus opened the kitchen door. "I trust you know the way out."

Remus nodded. "I will talk to the headmaster about this," he said. He still wasn't convinced that Hermione's staying at Severus' house was a good idea.

Severus didn't answer.

***

They had worked in silence, and only made a short pause to eat lunch.

Hermione checked the watch while the potion was simmering. "We have to add the knoxgrass in two hours and twenty-seven minutes," she said. Until then, the potion had to simmer without being disturbed.

Severus just nodded, and pointed at a plate to cover the cauldron with. He was busy cleaning the ginger roots.

Suddenly, a voice from downstairs could be heard. "Severus!" He almost let go of the roots.

Hermione groaned. "Not another visitor!"

Severus merely grunted. "That one will be worse than Lupin," he finally said.

The voice called again, "SEVERUS!"

"It's my sister," he explained, his expression pained. He was clearly not very eager to see her.

"Your sister?" Hermione asked. "But why-" She broke off.

"Why would she come and visit me?" Severus finished dryly, a thin smile on his lips. "You see, where I come from it's customary to visit one's family once in a while," he said, clearly teasing her. She was still amazed at how different he was from the Snape she knew as her teacher.

"You know that's not what I meant," she said indignantly. "I was just wondering why everyone seems to pick today to pay you a visit."

"Well, Lupin was here because it's the full moon the day after tomorrow," he said. "He wanted to know if the potion was ready. He always comes by a day or two before the full moon to collect it."

"And your sister?" she asked, curious despite herself. "What is she like?"

"SEVERUS!!!" the voice bellowed. "I KNOW YOU ARE HOME, SO COME DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"Well, obviously, she's very loud," he said, chuckling. "She comes by once or twice a year, I don't really know why." He dried his hands and checked on the potion. "We'd better get down there, or she'll come upstairs."

Still curious, Hermione followed Severus down the stairs into the sitting room. As soon as he stepped through the door, the woman - his sister - started talking.

"Severus, there you are. Have all those potion fumes finally impaired your hearing? I called three or four times until you heard me! I-"

"I heard you just fine, Cecily," he said, "I just chose to ignore you."

Severus' sister huffed indignantly. "Of course you did. Always the charmer, right, Sev?" Her gaze fell upon Hermione, who was still standing in the doorway. "And who's that? Don't you want to introduce me to your... friend?"

"Yes," Severus said, stepping aside. "Cecily, this is Hermione Granger, a... colleague of mine. Hermione, my sister Cecily Snape."

Hermione stepped inside and extended her hand. Cecily shook it, and Hermione could feel the woman's eyes scrutinise her.

"You seem very young," she finally said. "How long have you two been - working - together?"

Hermione heard the hesitation in the woman's voice, and couldn't blame her. She knew what it must look like - and if she was honest, it was highly inappropriate that she was staying at a teacher's over Christmas, especially under the circumstances of their former relationship.

"Not very long, Miss Snape," she said. "I just finished school."

"And now you are working with Severus," she murmured, "in the holidays." That was directed against her brother, who ignored it.

"Do you want some tea, Cecily?"

"Yes, please." Cecily pursed her lips. "Do you still drink that horrible blend?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Well then, it's still better than coffee. Mother always says that only barbarians - and Americans - drink coffee," Cecily said, sitting down on the sofa.

Hermione's head started spinning. The woman was talking too much, and too fast. While she wasn't exactly quiet herself, she still had never heard anyone talk that fast without breathing in between.

Severus excused himself and went into the kitchen, and Hermione was left on her own.

"So, Miss - Granger, wasn't it? - where do you come from? How did you meet Severus? And what exactly are you two working on?" she asked, and it all came out as one huge sentence.

Hermione was saved by the doorbell. She quickly excused herself and went to open it. She shortly wondered why everyone seemed to pick this day to visit.

She opened to door and came face to face with an old lady in a black cloak. Neither of them said anything; the lady seemed surprised to see her.

"Who are you?" Hermione finally asked.

"Who are you?" the lady asked back, her voice unfriendly and cold.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. Whoever she was, she was making her already hard day not easier to endure.

The old lady cleared her throat. "I was under the impression that my son lived here. Alone."

Hermione sucked in a breath. That was Severus' mother! "You are Severus' mother," she said, and mentally kicked herself for saying such a stupidly obvious thing.

"Indeed," the old lady said. "How perceptive of you to notice."

Well, sarcasm seems to run in the family, she thought.

"Are we going to stand outside all day, or are you going to let me in?" Mrs. Snape asked impatiently. "You are blocking the doorway, Miss!" She already made Hermione feel like a two-year-old.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Snape," she said hastily, and stepped aside. "I didn't know you would be coming, too."

Mrs. Snape arched an eyebrow. "Why? Who else is here?"

"Your daughter, Mrs. Snape," Hermione said. "She arrived a few minutes ago. Severus is making tea." She felt stupid. She had been rude to Severus' mother, not seeing the obvious relation between them.

While Mrs. Snape took off her cloak, Hermione studied her. The nose and the eyebrows were distinctively prominent in Severus' features as well.

"I'll go and tell Severus that you are here," she said, and wanted to go, but Mrs. Snape held her back.

"Wait a minute, girl."

Hermione turned around. "Yes?"

"My son... you are a friend of his?" she asked. It was clear that she had wanted to ask if she was something more, too. But Hermione decided to ignore it.

"Yes, I suppose you could say that," she answered.

The old woman's eyes narrowed. "What's your name?"

"Hermione Granger."

A frown appeared on Mrs. Snape's forehead. "Granger... Do I know your parents?"

"I doubt it," Hermione said, smiling. "They are dentists."

"Muggles!" Mrs. Snape exclaimed. Hermione wasn't sure if she was just surprised, or appalled.

"Yes, Mrs. Snape. My parents are Muggles," she said loudly, anger starting to rise. "And I really hope that you don't have a problem with that, otherwise this afternoon might be a bit strained."

Mrs. Snape's expression changed. "You don't know," she murmured, her voice sad.

"Don't know what?" Hermione demanded to know. The woman was starting to irritate her.

"Don't you know what he is, child?"

Hermione froze. She did know. But she also knew that he was different. He wasn't a monster.

Slowly, Hermione raised her head a bit and looked her in the eyes. Mrs. Snape seemed to be genuinely concerned.

"I do know," she finally said. "Severus is a good man, and I trust him."

The sound of someone clearing their throat made them turn around. Severus was standing in the hall.

"Mother," he greeted. "Hermione. Tea is ready." His voice was devoid of emotion, as usual, but Hermione knew that he had heard her.

Mrs. Snape entered the sitting room, leaving her and Severus alone. For a minute, there was silence, then Hermione spoke, softly, "I meant it, you know."

***

The hours went by slowly. Mrs. Snape and Cecily were asking hundreds of questions, and Hermione did have the feeling that both women didn't like her particularly well. It only got worse every time Severus left the room to check on the Wolfsbane Potion.

Finally, after what seemed like eons, Mrs. Snape stood up and announced her departure. Hermione could see that Cecily would have loved to stay, but a cold glare from her mother made her stand up, too.

"Yes," she agreed. "I'd better go, too."

Hermione let out a sigh of relief. She and Severus accompanied the two women to the door. And while Severus said goodbye to his sister, his mother bent over to Hermione and grabbed her arm.

"I hope you now what you're getting yourself into, girl," she said in a low voice. "It may seem like a great adventure now, but I assure you that there's only pain and despair awaiting you."

Hermione smiled at her. "Mrs. Snape," she said, "I'm aware that you probably don't see him that way, but Severus is a good man." She quickly glanced over at him. "If it wasn't for him, I would be dead by now. And besides, I'm already in too deep."

The old woman studied her for a moment, and then nodded. "Yes, I can see that." She sighed. "You have seen so much pain, child. I just hope that the future holds a bit of happiness for you, too."

Hermione frowned. What was that supposed to mean? Was Severus' mother a Seer? But before she could ask any of these questions, the old lady gave a curt nod in Severus' direction and followed her daughter out of the house.

Severus closed the door and exhaled loudly. "Another minute with those two and I would have taken Basilisk venom in my tea instead of lemon."

Hermione smiled weakly.

"Are you alright? You look pale," he said, concerned.

"I'm fine," Hermione said. Together they went into the lab. "Severus?"

"Hmm?"

"Is your mother a Seer?"

"Not that I know," he replied. "Why? Did she say something?" He smiled bitterly. "I mean, apart from her usual warnings and deterring stories about me."

"Not directly," Hermione said pensively. She shrugged off the uneasy feeling and concentrated on her task of powdering wolf teeth.

"She wasn't always like this," Severus said after a while. He was measuring the monkshood. "It all started, of course, with the Dark Lord's first rise. My father didn't support him, but he wasn't directly opposed to his ideas, either. In fact, he could often be heard talking about Mudbl-...Muggle-born and Muggles in a derogatory way."

She looked at him, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"My mother was indifferent at first, or she thought that it was a 'phase'. But it wasn't. My father and I would often sit together and talk. One day he mentioned that he knew someone who knew the Dark Lord. I was intrigued.

"Shortly afterwards, I joined the Death Eaters. Mother was furious. She was afraid I would sully the family name and get myself killed in the process." Severus laughed humourlessly. "But in fact it only got my father killed."

Severus added the last ingredient and stirred the steaming liquid ten times clockwise. He put the lid back on and cleaned the worktables.

"You already told me this, haven't you?" Hermione asked carefully.

Severus nodded.

"It's okay. I don't have to know."

"Yes, you have," he shot back, the old Severus back in place, the scowl deeper than ever. "But I would prefer to have this conversation downstairs with a good glass of whiskey."

***

Hermione leaned back and watched the stars through the huge windows. They were sitting in Severus' study; she was snuggled down in an armchair while Severus fetched a bottle of firewhiskey and then settled down on the sofa.

"Do you want some?" he asked, holding up a second glass.

Hermione nodded. She didn't drink alcohol often, and she had never had any firewhiskey. But she had the feeling that she might need it this evening.

Severus filled their glasses and leaned back.

"My father was very proud, and he didn't back down easily. He wouldn't let anyone tell him what to do.

"My mother is very stubborn, and proud, too. She didn't agree with my choice to join the Death Eaters, and she certainly was against my father's interest in the topic. And she made sure that we knew it." Severus took a sip of his firewhiskey.

"One day, my father decided to come along. He wanted to meet the Dark Lord. So I took him with me. But unfortunately, the Aurors chose that night to conduct hundreds of raids. Our group was under surveillance. Of course they didn't know who we were because we all wore our masks, but that didn't stop them. They wanted to arrest us, and McGuiness, the fool, started a fight. We were six Death Eaters and my father against fifteen Aurors."

"Who is McGuiness?" she asked. She had never heard the name before, and she was almost sure that McGuiness was no longer among the living.

"McGuiness was just what I said, a fool. He was a year younger than me, and very idealistic. However, he is not important to this story." Severus swallowed hard. "You have to understand that the times were dark. People hardly went out after dark, and everyone was on their guard. The Aurors didn't hesitate to kill, and neither did we."

Hermione put her glass down. "Why didn't you just Disapparate?"

"Do you know how Anti-Apparition Wards work?" Severus asked back. Hermione nodded. The wards created a field of magical energy that disturbed people's elemental magic that was needed for Apparating and Disapparating.

"Well, the Aurors can erect such energy field for a short time. It is, however, long enough to surprise their opponents and kill them. Or stun them.

"When I saw my father fall, I did the only sensible thing." Severus fell silent.

"Did you... surrender?" Hermione asked hesitantly, sipping her firewhiskey.

Severus laughed harshly. "I ran."

"Oh." She didn't know what else to say. And her tongue felt funny.

"I didn't go home, though. I couldn't face my mother. Not after... That was the night I went to Dumbledore. I confessed, but not because I saw the error of my ways, but because I was afraid. Fear, I learned, is a very valuable thing." He downed his second glass in one huge gulp.

"And your mother?" she asked, finishing her first glass.

"She still hates me, and makes sure that I don't forget."

They sat in silence, until Hermione quietly said, "I still mean it. You are a good man. And I do trust you."

Severus smiled and slowly shook his head. "I don't know if that's a good thing or not."

Hermione stood up and poured herself another glass. She went to the window and leaned her head against the cool glass. She could see Severus' reflection in the glass. "Tell me something," she asked, her warm breath clouding up the window.

"Tell you what?"

"Anything. Something about you." She didn't turn around, but she saw Severus shift uncomfortably on the sofa.

"Maybe you should go to bed," he said, obviously trying to distract her.

Hermione glanced at her watch. "It's not even midnight, and it's New Year's Eve. We have to stay up until after midnight!"

She turned around and found him scowling at her. She rolled her eyes and sat down beside him. "You can't scare me anymore."

"Well, if you insist." He sighed. "I spent a few months in Azkaban. The headmaster couldn't stop them from taking me there until my trial began and-"

"No." She didn't want to hear depressing stories. She wanted happy memories, stories she could remember in sad times, and laugh about.

"What?" Severus seemed confused.

"Don't you have any happy memories?" she asked pleadingly.

"Of course," he said. "What do you want to hear?"

She considered fro a moment, and then smiled. "Tell me about... Professor McGonagall. She was already teaching at Hogwarts when you went there, right?"

Severus groaned. "Do you want to make me feel old?" he asked jokingly.

"But Severus, you are old..." Hermione giggled. She thought that maybe the firewhiskey had something to do with that.

"Old!" he snorted. "I'll show you old!"

And then he did the thing Hermione least expected him to do. With a predatory grin on his face, he leaned over and started tickling her. She doubled over with laughter, unable to keep a straight face.

"Mercy!" she pleaded after a few minutes, out of breath from laughing so much. Severus stopped tickling her, and she slumped forward, all the tension leaving her body. She was still giggling, and didn't even realise that Severus' body tensed under her weight.

"Hermione..." he said, trying to lift her off of him.

She looked up, and time seemed to freeze. They were incredibly close, a tangled mess of arms and legs. She could feel his breath on her skin, and his eyes seemed to pierce her very soul. She had never realised that his eyes were really as black as they seemed. She had assumed that they were a dark brown, when they were in fact deep black pools that were now full of contradicting emotions. She saw lust, but also fear and trepidation.

Later that night, she couldn't remember who had made the first move, but she assumed that she herself initiated the kiss. But that moment, she didn't care. She didn't care that she wasn't ready, and that she would only hurt herself and Severus. She didn't care that she was being unfair towards Severus.

In fact, when their lips touched, she didn't think at all.

All she could feel were Severus' lips, and his hands on her arms. She closed her eyes and savoured the feeling of warmth and comfort that enfolded her. She sneaked her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, wanting to feel his warmth.

What she didn't expect was his erection pressing against her thigh.

Alarmed, she disentangled her legs from his and stood up quickly, her heart racing in her chest. She panicked, and without giving Severus the chance to say something, she bolted out of the room and locked herself in the guestroom.

End Chapter Eight