Less Than Strangers

Chapter Seven

"What are you doing here?"

Hermione crossed her arms in front of her chest. Angrily, she stared at the intruder.

"You disappeared from home. Your parents were worried," Snape answered.

She couldn't read his expression (No surprise there, she thought grimly), but didn't think it mattered that much. "Yeah, of course," she replied, in a tone that made it quite clear that she didn't believe him. "Who let you into my room?"

"Dumbledore sent me," he continued stoically, as if she hadn't said anything. Her anger rose and rose with every word. How dare he?

"I don't see where that is any of his business where I spend my holidays," she said, her voice dripping with venom. "Or yours, Professor."

Instead of answering, Snape pulled his wand out of his pocket and started to shrink her belongings.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, alarmed. What if that wasn't even Snape? What if someone was using Polyjuice Potion to kidnap her - again. Her anger immediately switched to something close to panic. "S-Stop that," she stammered, and raised her wand again, trying to look unafraid, and failing miserably.

Quite-possibly-not-the-real-Snape summoned all her belongings to him and pocketed them. Then he looked up, and his whole appearance changed. He didn't change into another person, but still, he looked different. He looked like the Snape she'd seen in her memory tour a few months back.

His features had softened a little, and he his eyes weren't devoid of emotion anymore. He looked concerned, and she thought that he might actually be worried about her. His wand was nowhere to be seen, and he didn't look threatening at all.

Neither of them moved for a few moments, until Snape finally cleared his throat and slowly approached her. She put her wand away and looked up, steadying herself by grabbing the door handle behind her.

"Why are you here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I told you: Dumbledore sent me. He told me to take you somewhere save."

She hadn't noticed she'd been whispering, but when he answered in an equally subdued tone, she realised how close they were standing. Again, they didn't move for some time.

Hermione tried to analyse her feelings. She was still a bit angry that he came and took over so easily, and not even bothering to explain. But at the same time, she knew that he wasn't going to hurt her in any way, and that she was safe with him. There were other feelings, too, but none of them were stronger than those two.

"You are blocking the door."

Snape's voice startled her out of her thoughts, and she abruptly let go of the door handle. Too abruptly, it seemed. She swayed, sure that she would fall over any second.

But Snape grabbed her shoulders and kept her from falling. He held her a bit longer than absolutely necessary, and she dropped her eyes.

"Thank you," she said, and moved out of the way, so that Snape was forced to let go of her.

"We should get going," he said, and took the bags from Flourish & Blotts that were still lying at her feet.

"Where are we going?" she asked as she followed him out of the room and down the stairs.

"Do you want to go back to Hogwarts?" he shot back. He didn't slow down or stop to check if she was following him. She was a bit miffed that he expected her to follow him like a lost puppy. But she didn't say anything. Instead she simply answered his question.

"Not unless I have to." She paused. "We are not going there, are we?"

He shook his head. "No. Do you want to go back to your parents' house?"

"No!"

He half-turned and raised an eyebrow at her sudden outburst, but shrugged it off when she ignored him.

"Do you know any other place you could go?"

She made a face. "The Leaky Cauldron," she said, "but that's not an option anymore, I suppose."

They had reached the ground floor now and Snape strode across the bar to the passage that led outside to Diagon Alley. She hurried to keep up with him, ignoring the curious glances the patrons sent their way.

"You're coming with me then," he decided.

"Excuse me? I'm doing what?" She felt the anger rise again. Was he really expecting her to just follow him without knowing where they were going? He must be so full of himself to believe I won't protest, she thought angrily. "I won't move a muscle until you start answering my questions," she said, stopping half-way down the hallway that led to the courtyard in the back.

A witch on her way to Diagon Alley shot them a curious look, and Snape backtracked a few steps until they were face to face. Or face to chest, it really depends on perspective, Hermione thought dryly, when she found herself staring into Snape's chest rather than his face because he was so close again that she had to tilt her head back to look him in the eyes.

"What?"

"You heard me," she hissed. "I am old enough to decide for myself, in both the Muggle and the wizarding world, what I want to do. I could decide to leave now and never come back. I could decide I wanted to go to Hogwarts after all. I could decide to go back to my parents' house." She paused. "I could decide to go with you. But why should I?"

He stared at her, his expression a mixture of disbelief, anger and something she could place. She stared back, not ready to back down and give in.

After a few minutes of silent staring, Hermione began to feel uncomfortable. She knew she was being unreasonable, but she was determined not to give Snape the satisfaction of winning their little staring contest.

"I had a couple of hard months. I was kidnapped, and tortured, and raped. I thought things could go back to normal once I was safe. But they didn't." She swallowed, but still didn't look away. "I cannot make a move without either Ron or Harry or you following me. Or all three of you. I have to lie to everyone because they don't know, and the Order can't let them risk finding out. I haven't had a decent night of sleep since the start of the year. A prophecy is basically dictating my whole life, and on top of all sits Albus Dumbledore, smiling his crazy knowing smile at me, and I just want to hit him to make him stop smiling because it annoys me so much." She paused, startled, because Snape was actually smiling.

She frowned. "Actually, I don't think my life going down the drain is that entertaining," she said icily. "Don't you understand?" Her voice was faltering, and she swallowed again. The smile had disappeared, and Snape was looking at her with... compassion? She wanted to turn away, and hide her tears, but found that she couldn't.

"My world is falling apart," she sobbed. "I went home for Christmas because... because I thought-"

She couldn't go on. She had hoped that she could forget everything once she was back at her childhood home. She had always felt safe at home. She had her books, and her parents, and nothing could happen to her when her dad wrapped his arms around her and held her. And now it had all gone terribly wrong, and she wasn't safe there anymore.

"I heard my parents talking. They don't want me anymore. They said I'm not their daughter anymore." She could no longer see. Tears flooded her eyes and blurred her vision. "And Harry and Ron are great, really. They try very hard to make things easy for me... but - they don't understand. I thought that at least Harry would understand what it means to be touched by the darkness. That he would understand that it changes people. And makes them feel... separated. That once the darkness has touched you, it is difficult to stop it. It's hard to get up every day, and to talk and to pretend that things are alright. It's hard to live and not give in to it. It's like being sucked into an abyss, and you can't escape. But you try, every day, but you still find yourself nearer to the edge every second. And you try so very hard not to fall, but there's nothing to keep you back." She finally cracked. "Nothing to hold you." Tears were running down her cheeks, and she averted her eyes. Suddenly, she felt very self-conscious. It felt like everyone in the bar was staring at her, and although they couldn't possibly have heard what she'd said, she thought that they all must have heard somehow.

Snape stepped slightly to the right, blocking her view of the bar. He touched her cheek lightly, then put a hand under her chin, gently forcing her to meet his gaze. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay to feel that way."

He leaned down to her and placed a kiss on her forehead, his lips barely touching her skin. Then he pulled her into his arms and held her. "I just want to help you," he whispered into her ear. "Will you come with me?"

She simply nodded, her head still buried in his shoulder.

"I was planning to take the Knight Bus and have a talk while we were on our way, but I think it's better if I just Apparate us out of here." He paused. "Are you alright with that?"

She nodded again, and tightened her grip. He wrapped his arms around her, and under the curious glances of the Leaky Cauldron's patrons, the two figures disappeared.

***

Hermione leaned against Snape, breathing in the earthy smell. She didn't let go, even though she knew they had arrived and she didn't necessarily need to hold on to Snape.

"We need to walk the rest of the way," Snape said with his head buried in her hair. Hermione shivered a little. They were really close, and she was afraid. Not afraid that it might feel wrong and awkward, but because it didn't. It felt oddly comforting, and familiar, to be embraced by Snape.

I probably should start calling him Severus, she thought, reluctantly releasing him. Snape - Severus stepped back, but didn't let go of her hand.

"There are Anti-Apparition wards on the grounds," Severus explained. "But it's not far."

Hermione simply nodded. Her cheeks felt still wet, and she wiped the tears away with her free hand. She looked around, but all she could see were trees and some more trees, mostly fir trees and pine trees. They seemed to be in a coniferous forest. Unlike in London, here was actually snow covering ground and trees. The air was clear and dry, and not unpleasantly cold. She didn't want to think about it, but couldn't help noticing that the warmth coming from Severus' hand was enough to keep her from freezing.

After a two minute walk, the trees got fewer, and she could finally see the house. It was not an ancient manor, or a medieval castle, but an ordinary, modern house. Of course, it was huge, and the next-door-neighbours seemed to be at least 10 kilometres away, but it was still a normal house.

"Surprised?" Severus asked. "I had some workers tear down the manor after... after I joined the order. I didn't want to live in the house I spent my childhood in."

Hermione looked up at him, seeing a pensive expression on his face. "What was it like? Your childhood, I mean?"

Severus looked at her shortly, and she was afraid that he wouldn't answer her, but tell her off and take points for insolence. But he merely shrugged.

"Normal, I suppose. My mother was very creative. She taught me all about Potions. And Father always practised spells with me." He chuckled.

Hermione could only stare. Severus Snape, the man who had practically invented the scowl, was chuckling in her presence. It was disturbing, in a way. But it also made him look more like a man, and not the professor she'd known for so long.

"I did not have an abusive family, and trust me, none of the stories are true!" Severus continued; obviously he hadn't noticed her bewildered stare - or he ignored it.

They reached the front door, and Severus opened the door with a simple unlocking spell.

"Shouldn't you at least use a password?" Hermione asked.

"I did," he replied. "The lock responds only to me, and a few selected others. Besides, there are mostly Muggles living in this area, and no one else knows where I live. The house is unplottable."

"Where are we, anyway?" Hermione asked, when Severus held the door open for her. She stepped inside.

"Near Durham, not that far from Hogwarts, actually," he smiled.

Hermione did a double take to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Severus Snape was smiling a genuine smile. Next he would start dancing and wearing clothes that are not black. She shook her head and finally entered.

The first thing she saw was the black and white checked floor (most definitely marble) and the grand wooden staircase leading up to the first floor. Apart from that, the hall was rather small and unremarkable.

Severus helped her out of her coat and stored it in the small cupboard next to the door. "I don't

have any house elves here. I'm afraid we'll have to do everything ourselves."

"I don't mind," she said absently. She had just noticed the French door leading into a nicely furnished sitting room. It was all so different from what she had imagined it would be like. No black walls and heavy velvet curtains greeted her, but cream coloured walls. The huge windows didn't even have curtains, but allowed her to see directly in to the garden. She stepped into the room and looked around. There were no pictures or paintings, and even the shelves looked strangely naked. Of course, there were books - lots of books - but no knick-knacks or small ornaments. She at least expected a decorative bottle of a particularly good brand of whiskey on the mantelpiece or a set of gold scales.

"Do you want me to show you around, or would you rather go and look at everything yourself?" Severus asked from where he stood in the doorway. Noticing her surprised expression, he shifted uncomfortably. "I only use it when my family visits. Normally, I sit in my study. It's down the hall." He pointed towards another door. "Why don't you have a look at everything and I take your belongings upstairs to the bedroom."

Alarmed, Hermione raised her head. "Bedroom?" She felt a burst of panic. Surely he didn't expect her to sleep in his room?

"The guest bedroom, yes. It's the first door on the left." If he noticed her short burst of panic, he ignored it. Hermione was slightly thankful that he didn't make it more embarrassing as it already was.

Snape left, and she was on her own. Casting one last glance around the impersonal room, she started down the hallway. She opened the first door to her right and found herself in a bathroom. It was only a small guest bathroom, and didn't have a shower or a bathtub in it. Considering that it was directly next to the sitting room, she was not surprised. Severus wouldn't want people all over his place, even if they were family, she mused.

On the opposite side was the kitchen. It was huge compared to the kitchen at home. Biting her lip, Hermione tried to distract herself from the bad memories that thought brought up. She inspected the fridge and opened a few cupboards. She was a bit disappointed that the house seemed to be fairly Muggle so far. She hadn't seen anything magic at all. There even was a normal coffee machine and a non-magical toaster sitting on the sideboard.

Then there was only one room left to inspect. Severus' study. She opened the door and gasped. The room was about the same size as the sitting room, but looked much more like a sitting room than the other - impersonal and sterile - one.

Two royal blue sofas sat facing each other in one corner, with a comfortable looking armchair on one side. In another corner a huge mahogany desk was loaded with folders and loose pieces of paper. As in the sitting room, bookshelves lined the walls. Now she realised what had seemed a bit off about the books in the sitting room. They looked as if no one had read ever them, whereas the book in this room were well-worn. In fact, the leather cover of some books was so worn out that she couldn't decipher the title and had to open the book to read it. On one side of the room was a large glass cabinet, where various items were on display. She recognised some Dark Arts Artefacts that were highly illegal, but thought it was just fitting perfectly. After all, this was Severus Snape's study.

But probably the most remarkable thing was the far wall of the room. The entire wall consisted of glass. The view was overwhelming. She supposed it would be a lot better in summer, but it was stunning enough in winter. In fact, the snow covered landscape held a beauty she had seldomly seen. In the distance, there were trees of all sorts, and she had no doubt that they were part of the forest they had Apparated into. A small lake was situated halfway down the way to the forest, and the iced over surface glistered in the light of the setting sun. It was late, and soon it would be completely dark outside.

She checked her watch. It was barely half past five, but she was hungry. She decided to go to the kitchen, and maybe make some sandwiches.

End Chapter Seven