It All Started with a Kiss

Chapter Five

"Do you think we can escape yet?" Severus murmured, leaning over. He cast a glance at the Headmaster who was standing several feet away, chatting with Professor McGonagall and Hermione's mother. "Those three look as if they're up to something."

"I think this moment is perfect," Hermione whispered, grabbing the cape that she'd slung over the back of her chair. "Let's go as long as they're distracted."

Severus nodded and stood up. "Slowly now, until we're out of their peripheral vision; we don't want to attract their attention."

She nodded. "And as soon as we're out of sight, we run."

"That's the plan."

She walked with a natural speed as she followed Severus, as if she merely wanted to go to the ladies' room. She smiled at a few guests but steered clear of those she knew would want to talk to her. They made good progress, and she could already see the doors, when-

"Hermione! Severus! Off to shag already?"

She turned, suppressing a sigh. Severus stopped and pressed his lips together.

Kingsley Shacklebolt was walking towards them, starting to make his lewd jokes again. She'd endured him all through the last hour until Albus had shooed him away.

"Kingsley," Severus said, scowling. "Kindly fuck off."

Hermione barely managed not to roll her eyes. Men were like children sometimes.

"Why, Severus, so eager? Maybe that cool exterior hides the beast that is your--"

"Kingsley Shacklebolt?" a new voice entered the conversation. It was William, and Hermione silently thanked the gods for sending him over.

"I don't believe we've been introduced properly," William said, smiling, and held out his hand. Soon, Kingsley was engaged in a conversation about Quidditch.

Unfortunately, the Headmaster had had enough time to block the entrance while they were preoccupied with Kingsley.

"Plan B?" Hermione muttered.

"We have a plan B?" Severus asked.

"No, I just made it up," she said, surveying the guests. "Okay, here it is: we both try on our own to get out. I'll go and talk to Ginny, then wait until she wants to go to the loo. I'll pretend to go with her and then I'll make my escape," she whispered.

Severus cocked an eyebrow. "Good plan," he said approvingly. "I'll just stand in the corner and glare at people. At some point, everyone will be so intoxicated that they'll forget all about me and I'll slip out," he said pensively. "Meet me in the dungeons?"

Hermione nodded and made her way over to the Weasley table.

***

"Ginny!"

Ginny let out a squeal and hugged Hermione fiercely. "I can't believe you are really married!"

"Er, well, I am," Hermione said, not knowing what else to say. Harry and Ron, who were sitting opposite Ginny, pointedly ignored her, while Mrs Weasley glared at them. Hermione smiled at the older woman. She'd had a short conversation with her before the wedding, and although Mrs Weasley couldn't stand Severus, she'd been supportive and nice. She'd been very angry at Harry and Ron for their behaviour.

"Oh dear, I have to go. Arthur is having his fifth glass of brandy. He'll do something embarrassing again if I don't stop him," Mrs Weasley said, standing up. Within seconds, she had crossed the room and started telling off her husband.

"So, do you have plans for your honeymoon?" Ginny asked eagerly.

A spluttering sound could be heard from across the table. Hermione turned around and stared at Harry and Ron angrily.

"What is your problem?" she asked.

"Well, you are married to Snape!" Ron yelled. "Why did you go and marry that sl-"

"Hey, you all right?" Bill's calm voice interrupted Ron's loud yelling, and he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, even though the question was directed at Hermione.

"Yes. Ron is being stupid, that's all," Ginny said, glaring at the brother in question.

"Why don't we talk about this - quietly?" he added with a sideways glance at Ron.

"Fine," Ron said in a tone that clearly said that it was not fine.

Harry, who hadn't said anything at all up to then, looked at Hermione reproachfully. "We can't understand why you would marry Snape! I mean, he's a bastard - he really is. He's not even remotely nice. He's mean and hateful," Harry said, unconsciously gesturing wildly. "He tortures his students, he makes fun of everyone, and I bet he would run over a puppy just because it dared to look cute - not that 'cute' is in his vocabulary..."

"And he's never even been nice to you, Hermione!" Ron added in a calmer voice. "He makes fun of how you look, and he calls you names. He insults your heritage, your parents, everything. He favours the Slytherins, and he goes as far as taking points from you because you know the answer when Malfoy doesn't!"

Hermione smiled sadly. What could she say? They were right. Severus was mean. He was not nice to his students, and he did favour the Slytherins. He'd insulted her so many times that she'd lost count. And she still loved him.

Ooh, wait a second. I love him? she thought, frowning slightly. Well, I guess it could be worse... after all, if you think about it - I'm in love with my husband. Not that unusual, is it?

"Hermione?" Bill looked at her expectantly.

"What?" She blinked. "Er, sorry. I was just... remembering something."

"Well, why don't you tell us your side of the story?"

"There is no story. I love Severus. He is my husband because I want to spend my life with him. If you can't accept that, then I don't know what will happen to us, to our friendship. I have always tried to accept your girlfriends, even if I didn't like all of them. The only thing I can think of is a break - we need a break."

"What do you mean?" Ron frowned.

"I mean that we should take a break from out friendship, get a little distance between us. We can cool off and think things over. If you don't want to be friends with me after that, well..." She trailed off, a lump forming in her throat. She didn't want to lose Harry and Ron as friends. They'd been through so much, and it seemed stupid to stop being friends because of something like her love life when they'd survived worse things.

"Well, that's a sensible thing to do," Bill said, grinning.

Right at that moment, she wanted to kick Bill and have him pick his teeth up from the ground. How can he laugh and be happy when my two best friends will leave this wedding as just temporary acquaintances?

She felt like crying.

***

Severus could see that Hermione was distressed. Something upset her gravely, and judging from the hateful looks the Weasley boy was sending him and the depressed expression on Potter's face, he figured that it had to do with those two. He scowled at them.

It was his fault that Hermione was upset. He should have tried something to stop the wedding. If they hadn't married, she would still be friends with Weasley and Potter, and she'd be happy.

But deep down he knew he didn't want to change it. He wanted to be married to Hermione. He wanted her.

"...and then we can see it. It should appear over her dress," he suddenly heard Draco Malfoy's voice say to his left.

Draco and his cronies were huddled together in a corner of the Great Hall, obviously plotting something. Sighing inwardly, Severus crept closer, careful to avoid being seen by the group.

"Are you sure that's the spell, Draco?" Pansy asked, looking doubtful.

"Of course," Malfoy said indignantly.

"Fine, prove it!"

"Vestimenta Visiblis!" Malfoy whispered, pointing his wand discreetly at Hermione's back.

Severus knew the spell, of course. It was a harmless little spell used to humiliate friends - or in this case, enemies. It made the victim's underwear appear on their clothes for everyone to see.

And of course Severus knew he shouldn't be curious, but he couldn't help looking. But he saw - nothing. All he could see was Hermione's creamy white dress.

"Why doesn't it work?" Malfoy asked.

"I told you it's not a real spell!" Pansy said with a smug expression.

"Of course it is a real spell," Blaise Zabini retorted. "My brother used it on Katie Bell during the match against Hufflepuff last season, remember?"

"Malfoy, did you say it wrong?" Millicent Bulstrode asked, grabbing the spellbook from Malfoy.

"I did not!" Malfoy huffed. "I'll have you know that my articulation is perfect!"

Malfoy's incantation and wand movement had been flawless, Severus mused, but that means - she doesn't even wear underwear!

Snape sucked in a breath. Why isn't she wearing anything underneath that dress? No, he didn't want to think about that right now. It might get embarrassing...

He needed something to distract him from his wife's underwear-less body. Ah, Malfoy and his fanclub. He took a menacing position right behind the group and then cleared his throat.

Satisfied, he noticed that Parkinson jumped and Bulstrode gave a surprised yelp, while Malfoy blanched even more and Zabini's eyes widened. Crabbe and Goyle didn't show a reaction, but that might have been because they were too busy paying attention to the wedding cake.

"So, you think you can go around hexing my wife and get away with it?" he asked, glaring at them. "I don't want to hear your excuses, Mister Malfoy. I know what I've seen and heard, and there's no way you are going to talk your way out of a detention with Filch. All of you, Saturday afternoon."

"But sir!" Malfoy protested.

"It's Hogsmeade that weekend!" Parkinson screamed.

"Can't you give us detention another day?" Zabini tried, but to no avail.

"Saturday afternoon, three o'clock. Be punctual." Severus smiled a bit, knowing that it would make them squirm. He turned to go, but then stopped and looked at Malfoy.

"Oh, and Mister Malfoy, your incantation was indeed perfect. You didn't do anything wrong," he said, roughly estimating it would take them about ten seconds to figure out what that meant.

Grinning maliciously, he left for the doors. No one tried to stop him.

***

Right outside the doors, he met Hermione, who came sneaking into the Entrance Hall from the direction of the toilets.

Instantly, Severus felt himself blush. Hermione gave him a confused look, but didn't say anything.

"I think we need to leave quickly. Ginny is inside one of the stalls, talking about some designer robes she's seen in Diagon Alley last month, and she'll notice my absence when I don't huff and scoff every two minutes," Hermione said, taking off towards the dungeons.

Severus, trying not to think about underwear - or lack thereof - followed closely.

***

"Severus!" Albus Dumbledore's voice called.

Severus shook his head, gesturing for her to stay silent. But Hermione hadn't intended to say anything. She only wished that the Headmaster would leave, thinking that they weren't in Severus' chambers.

"I know you are in there," the Headmaster's voice drifted through the door. "I promise you that you won't regret letting me in. I bring the first of your many gifts."

Hermione looked up. Presents? She hadn't even thought about getting something, but of course, it was tradition. Great, she thought. Lots of stuff no one needs.

"I won't leave, you know."

With a resigned expression on his face, Severus stood up and opened the door. "We will not go back up there, or I swear I will hex Shacklebolt and use his balls as-"

"Yes, Severus," the Headmaster interrupted. "You needn't worry. This," he said, holding out a card, "is from the entire Hogwarts staff - except, of course, you - and me. Enjoy it." With that, he turned around and left.

Suspiciously, Severus turned the card over in his hands. It was a simple white card, about the size of his palm, with only one word written on it in golden letters: Relax.

Hermione came up behind him and eyed the card, equally suspicious. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know," Severus said. "Must be one of Albus' little tricks."

"Let me see," she said, trying to take the card out of his hands. But the second they both touched the card, Hermione felt a nauseating jerk behind her navel and she lost her footing. It was only Severus' arm that kept her from falling.

"Ah, Mr and Mrs Snape," a voice to her right said. "We've been expecting you."

Hermione shook her head to clear out the dizziness that always accompanied travelling by Portkey and opened her eyes.

They were standing in a large sitting room, decorated in blue and silver, with a white leather couch dominating the lounging area. She counted four doors, seven windows and four men in ridiculous uniforms.

"Severus, where are we?"

"Madam, if I may?" one of the uniformed men said, holding out a silver platter. She fought the urge to laugh at this; he looked so sincere and earnest that she thought it wouldn't be appropriate. So she merely took the letter sitting on the platter and broke the seal.

"My dear Severus and Hermione," she read aloud. "By now you will have arrived at the Relax Hotel - I hope you like it. As a wedding gift, the staff and I have booked you a four-day stay at the hotel since we were sure that neither of you would have wanted to go on a honeymoon in the middle of the week. Of course, this is a special occasion, and none of us is opposed to covering for your Potions classes, Severus, or to excuse your absence in class, Hermione. So, enjoy your stay, and stop scowling, Severus. Best wishes, Albus. PS: You have to try out the Jacuzzi."

"What is the meaning of this?" Severus asked, of course still scowling.

"This is the Honeymoon Suite, sir," one of the uniformed men was saying. "It's been booked for four days, including breakfast on Friday morning and Portkey back to Hogwarts. You and your bride will find your luggage in the bedroom. If you have any more wishes, my name is Alfonse, and you can summon me through ringing this bell." Alfonse held up a tiny silver bell and set it on the table. "Dinner will be served shortly. Do you wish to dine in the dining hall, or shall we bring it upstairs?"

Hermione looked at Severus. She didn't really feel like going outside just yet. She still had to get used to being married.

"We'll eat here," Severus said firmly, and Hermione nodded.

"Very well," Alfonse said. He made a short gesture with his hand and the other three men left through a double-winged wooden door that obviously led out to the corridor. "Dinner will appear on this table," Alfonse said, pointing at a large mahogany table in the adjourning dining room. With that, he left them alone, staring at each other.

An uncomfortable silence spread.

Finally, Hermione opened the door leading to the large bedroom. The bed was huge. Hermione had the feeling that the entire seventh year Gryffindor class could sleep inside of it without touching each other. Of course, that was slightly exaggerated, but it was enormous. She gulped and felt herself blush. People thought she was having sex with Severus right now, and she wasn't sure if she was disturbed by it or not..

To distract herself, she opened the wardrobe and found several dresses she'd never seen before. "Severus?" she called.

"Yes?" he said from behind her.

"I don't know what these are, but they are not my dresses," Hermione said, pulling out a deep red, long-sleeved velvet dress with a high collar.

"Yes, they are. I bought them."

"WHAT?"

"Well, I owled Madam Malkin the day we came back from Diagon Alley. You hadn't bought anything else except that wedding dress, and you can't be my wife if you aren't properly dressed," Severus said matter-of-factly.

"Properly dressed?! So I was wearing old rags you would use for wiping dirt off your shoes before, or what? Who do you think you are? You can't just go and buy me new dresses! What if I don't want new dresses?" she yelled. "I happen to like my old ones!"

"Sorry, I didn't realise you'd be upset about this," Severus said, scowling again. "Next time I want to do you a favour, remind me not to."

She snorted. "Favour? Yeah, right."

"If you stop being childish we can go and have dinner," Severus said in the voice he usually reserved for the classroom.

"I'm not hungry, and I'm being childish if I want to," she said stubbornly. "Now if you will excuse me, I'll go and take a bath!" Hermione barely resisted the urge to stamp her foot and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"Well, do what you want!" she heard Severus' voice say through the door. "I for my part will enjoy a quiet dinner without your constant babbling!" Seconds later, the bedroom door slammed shut behind him.

Hermione sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, before undressing and lowering herself into the hot water.

At some point, the day had started to get worse and worse, until the big explosion happened and they'd reached the bottom of it all. Now she only had to find a way to make things right again.

End Chapter Five