Soul Mates

Prologue: The Many Secrets of Severus Snape

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, and comes short, again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

~Theodore Roosevelt

The secrets of Severus Snape were many. Some had been made public over the years, humiliatingly, of course, and some had remained secret. Such as the fact that he loathed being loathed, yet found no other way to keep himself impassive to the enemy; or, the fact that he really did like Christmas, but due to said secret above, he kept it to himself. There were many others, many, many others, but never did he dream that one day, his deepest, most treasured one would walk through the doors of Hogwarts.

You see, Severus Snape, being a secretive man, had kept his emotions hidden for many years, hatred, fear, longing, and most especially, love. Love was the reason that the Snape, known to Harry Potter and his friends, was the way he was. It was a deep, passionate, unrequited love for someone who had been brutally wrenched from his life, long before he had time to really live it--so brutally, in fact, he had vowed never to love again, which, of course, did not work, as will be seen later on.

Severus Snape, unchallenged Potions Master, former Death Eater, and Hogwarts Professor thought he had buried the emotion of love, long before she came knocking on his door again. He never thought of her, never acknowledged that she had ever existed, nor gave off a trace, to anyone, that he had ever loved before. That is, before Hermione Granger walked through the door, sending everything awry and making his life miserable, all over again.

"Why Hermione Granger?" You ask? Perhaps it is prudent to start in the beginning, where, undoubtedly, our story begins. Severus Snape, having been a Hogwarts student and a Slytherin to boot, had been raised to appreciate the Dark Arts. Nothing had ever been more exciting to him than the powers and mysteries that lay hidden in them--not even the powers and mysteries of girls. He deemed them unworthy of his attention, as they were usually interested in relationships, and dressing up. Never did he realize that he could be more wrong, that is, until he joined the Death Eaters.

Severus was only a child, newly graduated from Hogwarts, when the Dark Lord gave him place in his ranks. He was given the tattoo, the clothing, and an honourable position as the resident potions expert. Being young, he did not really see what he was doing was wrong, that he was not only in the company of intellectuals of great power, but those of great and terrible cruelty and hatred as well. It is true, he did not like many of the things they did, deeming them of little use, such as killing for fun; however he maintained his delusion that they were really, truly people of his caliber.

He worked with many different people, young and old alike, who, like him, were fascinated by what the Dark Arts could bring, and he respected them for it. One such person was a woman named Sekh, who had been to Hogwarts as well. Six years his senior, she had graduated his second year of school, and only knew his name by reputation. He liked her very much, and was even willing to overlook the fact that she had been a Gryffindor. She was a goddess in his eyes, not only for her beauty, but her intellect, quick wit, and love for research as an art rather than work. Every day he worked with her, he was dazzled by her brilliance and even a little chastened to learn that she was an even better potion brewer than he; but, that did not stop him. He continued in his work, and adoration, until one night he was called with the other Death Eaters to a meeting with Voldemort, and watched, that which he never, in his life, would have dreamed he would see. The Dark Lord had captured an unfaithful servant, and the rest had the pleasure, and horror, of seeing him tortured to death.

The panic and utmost revulsion he felt almost overwhelmed him, and it was only the strength of Sekh standing close that sustained him through the ordeal. After all was over, and they dis-apparated from the scene, she took him to her house, sedated him, and comforted him while he remembered. There was no way around his remembering, in minute detail, what happened, and she let him sob into her shoulder until he was completely devoid of tears. She looked down at him, harsh sympathy rampant in her face, and told him that she too had undergone the same shock that he had witnessed that night. She told him, and he listened, of her utter regret for ever joining the Dark Lord at all, and of her new position as a spy against him.

Severus was very relieved to hear her say such things, and made it clear that he wanted no more to do with Voldemort if possible; and, after a fashion, she agreed to help him take on the burden of double agent. He did not, in fact, go to Dumbledore immediately, which he might have been the wiser for doing, he felt that he could keep up Sekh's tutelage on the art of spying quite well without the help of the Headmaster of Hogwarts. And he was right, mostly; he learnt how to keep an immovable façade whilst in the presence of Voldemort and the other Death Eaters. He also learnt how to glean information without being seen, and how to protect his mind from Voldemort's prying skills as a Legilimens. He did not count on becoming just as dependent on her as had once been on his former Master. There was no indication that he would fall deeply, hopelessly, desperately in love with Sekh--but he had, and there was no time, or even means, to rectify such a weak position in the ranks of the Death Eaters. He could not help himself; he had begun to trust her as he had never trusted anyone in his life, and he loved her for it.

He did not know that this would be his eventual downfall, the Death Eaters, sensing the weakness he had for Sekh, began to investigate, on their own, and found out that she held the same feelings for Severus. At first, they were prepared to let it go, many of them, indeed, were in love with their spouses; but, later on, they still felt it was not quite right. Something between them had much more power over their love and their duties with Voldemort and they intended to find out what it was. It took them many years, but they finally found the one piece of information they had searched for so, Sekh was a traitor. Mercifully, they did not find out the same about Severus; but, they might as well have for when Voldemort found out, he gave the honour of torturing Sekh to her young lover, as a reminder to Severus that his place was in his ranks. Severus, being frightened, did as he was told, but not for long, he could not continue to see the pain in Sekh's eyes as she looked wordlessly at him. The killing curse came to him, without much thought, though not before she whispered a spell, and the most precious thing she owned came to rest in his hands, her soul.

He was praised, of course, for doing as the Dark Lord asked, and after the meeting, he sought out Dumbledore to give away everything, even if it meant his life. He told of all plans, people, and anything else he could think about, whilst Dumbledore listened kindly. Before he left, he told of his ordeal with Sekh, and how she had entrusted her soul to him, and that he could not bear to keep it, knowing he had failed her by living himself. Dumbledore smiled at him, and offered to take it, and he would give it a safe home. Severus, all too willing, did not ask, then, or even later on what had been done with it. Not even when a girl came to the school who acted all too much like his beloved Sekh. He only sat, in silent anguish, every time he had contact with her, remembering his Love. Only Dumbledore knew the reason for Hermione Granger's behaviours, but he did not seek out either her or Severus, intending for them to take their own course, and hopefully things would end much happier than they had before.

Chapter One: The Schooling of Hermione as seen by Severus Snape

Professor Severus Snape had not counted on anything going so terribly wrong with his life, that it/she sat his classes nearly every day for seven years. He never expected, not even one little bit, that when he just thought he had been over her she would come striding into the great hall to be taught by him. That he would see her nearly every day for seven years, raising her hand repeatedly because she inevitably knew the answer, helping other Gryffindor brats during class, staring at him with her piercing eyes and breaking his heart all over again. He never once doubted that it was, indeed, Sekh, come back to haunt him, but he conveniently forgot he had given her soul to Dumbledore; and, so, was dumbfounded as to why or how Sekh could be alive in this muggle-born girl.

He watched her, now, sitting in Seventh Year Potions, as she elegantly performed the tasks given her, every movement just as he remembered, everything down to the line of concentration on her face, the way she moved her hands, how graceful her stirring was, all of it the same. There was a slight pain in his chest, which had been growing, year after year as he watched her grow as well. She became taller, curvier, more feminine in form, stronger; and, just this year, more drastic changes had occurred. Her hair, which had always looked like it was warring between trying to be straight or curly, had decided on curly--and not the bushy curls that had always been a distinguishing feature of Hermione Granger, but long, sleek curls that shone with a heavenly brilliance--he stopped, realizing he would look a right fool at the moment if any of the class were paying attention to him. Being that he was not one to make cow eyes at anyone, let alone a student, he forced himself to concentrate on grading their potions, doing Hermione's first, to get it over with. This was not fun, and he could not wait for it to be over at the end of the year.

Chapter One cont'd: Hermione grows up, as seen by Hermione

Hermione had always been a practical witch, never toying with things that did not warrant it (except with Harry and Ron of course,) not caring much for her appearance in the face of a good book to be read or a new potion to be brewed. Never once suspecting that the reason she was so fascinated with Professor Snape, was because she had his lover's soul inside her, giving her powers, practicality, dignity, loyalty and, of course, brilliance.

No-one in Gryffindor, least of all Harry and Ron, could figure out why she always defended Professor Snape. Even she did not know the real reason, cashing it in to his brilliance, as it was definitely not his personality, and one particularly obscure part of her said she liked him, but she managed to quash that. She gave up trying to find out otherwise, however, as she never seemed to get anywhere with it, although that did not keep her from her secret respect towards him. He was, in due respect, a greasy git, but he was brilliant, and she was sure that behind that harsh surface there was a human being somewhere, so she quit pushing it.

So, the years went by, and she grew, and changed, and hardly noticed much unless it was drastic. A larger bra size for instance, was something to notice, and the fact that her hair gave up its bushiness for long, sleek curls was also. Long ago she had given up any hope on her hair being anything but bushy, so it was a great shock to wake up one morning and find her hair manageable without a special potion to make it so. She also noticed that it was darker, for some reason, the day Lavender and Parvarti came running up to her asking who she had asked to dye it alerted her to that one.

Sighing, she looked back at her potions book, and concentrated again. It would not do to have an accident due to her lapse in concentration. As she worked she felt as though she was being watched, which of course she was, they were in Snape's dungeon after all. She stole a sideways glance anyway, and confirmed that it was, indeed, Professor Snape. He did stare at her a lot lately, but, then everyone did, although it was still unusual to have the formidable Potions Master staring at her rather than Pansy Parkinson. Turning once more to her potion, she felt relieved to see that he had not noticed her looking at him looking at her. She knew he would be distinctly embarrassed if she found him out, and did not want to aggravate him in any way.

Continuing to work, she almost did not notice him grade her potion then slip away again, but she did, and she caught a whiff of something on him, she could not tell what it was. An almost gleeful thought entered her mind, was Professor Snape wearing cologne? Banishing the thought, though smirking as she did so, she managed to sniff the air again as he passed up the aisle. No, it was definitely not cologne, but whatever it was reminded her of roses and her father's dark, musky cologne, and sweet tobacco all rolled into one. Oddly pleasing, although very melancholy as well. She decided she liked the scent. It intrigued her, and fired up her curiosity about the man in question, again. Deciding that she needed to know more about him, was the easy part of her determination, actually finding out was the hard one. It was not as if she could just walk up to Professor McGonagall and say, "I caught this really nice scent Professor Snape was wearing today, and I wondered if you could tell me more about him," without being noticed. She cleared her cauldron and began to pack up for class, confused as to why she really wanted to know more about her nasty Potions teacher, she had not really done so before, aside from her general curiosity about his brilliance and such. The bell rang for dinner in the great hall, so she left the dungeons with the rest, but not before glancing at the man she was suddenly interested in. He sat at his desk, stacking papers, and organizing the samples from their cauldrons. He seemed to feel her eyes on his person, as he looked up at her sharply. She held his gaze for a moment, smiled slightly and left the dungeons. Not noticing as she did so, the look of surprise on his face, or the smile that followed it.

Chapter One Cont'd: Hermione and Severus, as seen by Albus Dumbledore

Professor Dumbledore had watched, and weighed his options ever since he found a resting place for the soul he had been entrusted with. He did not know what would truly happen, or if his actions had been quite rash, but he did know that he would do all he could to help if things did go wrong. He remembered well the meeting he had with Severus, and how scared the boy had been that he had such a powerful object in his possession. He remembered the look of pure terror on Severus' face, and felt his anguish running off him in waves, he had killed his lover and not died for her as a noble person, such as she, would have. He had blindly obeyed Voldemort and tortured and eventually killed her, as if he had not loved her at all.

Dumbledore sat, and remembered himself telling the frightened boy that no harm would come to him. That Sekh had obviously not held it against him as she had given him her own soul, and it only took a powerful love to make a person do such a thing even in the face of Death.

He remembered, also, the small baby that he found, only days old and straight from the hospital, sleeping in her pram as her mother talked to a friend. He had been looking for a suitable spot to place the precious item he carried all day, and nowhere had seemed more appropriate than that perambulator in the park. The baby, although asleep, seemed to call him over. He did as all people do when faced with a newborn baby, made over her, told her mother she was the most beautiful baby he had ever seen, and as he did so, slipped his object into the baby's open mouth. It had worked perfectly, the baby did not wake, the mother was joyous of the compliments and he was joyous that his task was finished. At least that part of it was. Afterwards he watched little Hermione Granger grow up as much as he watched Harry Potter, her first steps, first words, learning to ride a bike, learning her numbers, and, eventually, receiving her Hogwarts letter, all under careful supervision, and note-taking. And all, so far, perfect.

He wandered out of his office, enjoying the autumn sunshine and the sight of students skipping class, and making stuttered excuses as he passed. He just smiled pointedly, and they scuttled off, leaving him to wander. He walked about for some time, not aiming for anywhere, until he felt he must check on Hermione, and Severus as well for that matter as they were in the same class today. Smiling at the un-intended pun he cooked up in his head, he headed down to the dungeons, where Potions class was ending, and made it just in time for the steady stream of students fleeing the clutches of their "evil" Potions teacher. Hiding in the shadows he watched as Hermione paused in her leaving and looked back at Severus; who, in turn looked up when he felt her staring. He saw her smile and leave, and just caught Severus' smile afterwards. Yes, they would be just fine.