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The smell of his hair, the warmth of his breath. They intoxicate me. I can't think. All I can do is plead with him.

Don't stop. Oh, please don't stop.

The fact that I'm lying here is still a shock that hasn't sunk in yet. I keep wondering why, why he chose me, why it isn't one of the giggling, swooning girls from his fan-club or even James.

James.

Oh Merlin, why is James standing there? And Peter behind him? Sirius hasn't noticed, his face still buried in my chest. But I see them. And by god, they see me. Us.

I start to get up, but the sheets that tie me to the bedpost stop me. Sirius raises his gorgeous face and looks at me with surprise and--oh no don't--hurt.

I look back at Peter and James. He follows my gaze, and jerks away from me. I try to jerk with him, but the bloody sheets...

Sirius looks guilty. "James I'm sorry-"

"Shut up." I don't understand, why is he angry? Sirius jumps off the bed swiftly, brushing against me, torturing me for the briefest of moments. He moves towards James with determination.

"James, I-"

"I don't want to hear it!" he shouts.

"I love him!"

He loves me. He just said he loves me. I gape at the two of them, James glaring, Sirius meeting his gaze with intent.

"I love him," he says again, more softly.

"I love you," James chokes, reaching out and touching his arm, the arm that just moments before was around me.

I can't believe it. James and Sirius? But then why is it me on his bed?

I look toward Peter, hoping to see the same surprise in his eyes. But he meets my gaze with perfect composure; obviously he knew all this already. He hovers behind James for a moment, before coming around to the bed. He smiles at me reassuringly, and starts to wrestle with the restraining sheets. I lie there awkwardly, not able to do anything else. Sirius sees where Peter has moved to, and stiffens. He doesn't look happy.

He doesn't want me. He wants James. I knew this couldn't be real, I knew it was too good to be true...

"Peter, I'll do it-" he begins. Peter turns him away with a look.

"I don't think Remus wants to witness this, Sirius," he says with uncharacteristic forcefulness. James looks at the sheets around my wrists, at my open shirt, at Sirius...

I'm free of the sheets, finally. But I'm trapped in this nightmare. I can't move. No-one moves. No-one speaks.

"Can...can we go somewhere a little more private?" James asks Sirius hesitantly. He shakes his head. Peter nods his.

"I can't love you James. Not like that. You're my best friend, you're the brother I always wanted, but Remus is-"

"More."

Sirius nods. I don't know what to think. What's happening? James and Sirius? Or Sirius and Remus...?

"What's going on?" I ask quietly. Everyone looks at me, James with hurt, Peter with pity, Sirius with...I don't know...what does that little smile mean...?

Love?

I feel like an idiot. No, worse, like I've betrayed James. But I didn't, I didn't know. You can't betray someone if you didn't know something like that.

Can you?

James still looks at me. His face is unreadable. Before I can move, he turns and leaves. Without hesitation, Peter follows, shutting the door resolutely behind him.

I'm up and off the bed before I can think, but Sirius stops me as I make for the door.

"Please don't go," he says, his hands on my arms, his hips so close...

"I don't understand." Was that me? Did I say that? Of course I understand, it's blatantly obvious.

"Let me explain, please."

"I need to talk to James." WHAT? What the hell did I say that for? James is the last person I want to see right now. I don't want to see James.

"You don't want to see James," Sirius insists.

"I know." Oh, NOW I'm making sense. I think.

He steers me back to the bed. He sits down, pulling me close beside him. I don't object. He sighs, brushing his hair away from his face. His beautiful, black hair.

"I don't love James." Good start. I don't say anything. He looks at me for a moment and then leans over and kisses me on the neck. I fall back in surprise, and he follows, stroking my exposed chest.

"Sirius..." he cuts me off, covering my mouth with his, oh, god, he tastes so good.

"Remus," he gasps, "I want you."

"Why?" I venture. Do I want to know why?

"Because I love you." He slides his hands down to my trousers, pulling at the button.

"But James..." Shut up mouth, shut up shut up.

"You're more. You're so much more," he says earnestly. He stops, meeting my eyes

"I love you." Simple. Pure. I reach up and pull him back to me, now not only letting him have me, but taking him as well, pulling his clothes away, claiming him as mine......and why not?

I'm in love. Let James deal with it his own way, let him find some girl or guy to replace Sirius, this one, irreplaceable boy that wants me. He wants more...

This werewolf has backed down for the last time. And now I want more.