Surviving September

September 1.

My name is Alice Sharp. I am seventeen years old and I go to Hogwarts. That's about it, really. My best friends in the world are Lily Evans, Jewel Ember, and Stacy Kay. Lily gave me this dairy for my seventeenth birthday a week ago. I've never had a diary before.

Lily is always writing in diaries and journals. She records EVERYTHING and wants the rest of us to do so too. But Stacy and Jewel never will. Write in diaries, I mean. Stacy's so silent and shy, and doesn't have a way with words like Lily does. And Jewel is, well, Jewel. She wouldn't be caught dead writing in a diary.

Lily has this amazing red hair. It's extremely pretty. Its waist length, so she can do all this cool stuff with it. Lily also has pea green eyes. Then there's Stacy, who's Greek, and has dark hair and eyes. When she was three, her family moved from Greece to England because her muggle father got transferred. Stacy is muggleborn, just like Lily. Then there's Jewel, and I for one have never met anyone quite like her. She has pink hair and she's not even a metamorphmagus. That should tell you enough.

Oh, no, not again, the Marauders just entered our compartment. Lily looks like she could kill James Potter. Then again, she always does.

James Potter is currently smirking, and asking me what I'm writing.

ME: Something too sophisticated for a boy like you to understand

JAMES: *Looking offended* A boy like me???

LILY: Yes Potter, bigheaded, arrogant jerks like you wouldn't understand a diary.

JAMES: Aw, come on, Lily, if you go out with me I'll get you a diary

LILY: Never in your life!

I really don't understand why she turns him down all the time. If someone (Okay, Frank) were to ask me out, then I would say yes on the spot. But the odds of someone (okay, Frank) asking me out is about one billion to one.

This is disappointing.

I was kind of hoping that Frank and I would be Head Boy and Girl this year. Then we would be able to spend more time together. But Lily became Head Girl. That didn't come as a surprise. I mean, she's never broken a rule in her life, and she gets the best grades. I wonder who the Head Boy is. I bet its Remus Lupin. He's a complete and utter bookworm.

Frank will never ask me out. I know that for sure. Frank is the most handsome creature on this Earth, and I'm, well...me.

I have this long dirty blonde hair and boring gray eyes. Put that together with the fact that I'm not exactly thin, and you get a walking disaster.

Jewel says that I'm too hard on myself. She says that if I started thinking about my good qualities I would have a lot more self confidence. Jewel should try being me for a day and see how hard it is.

Lily and James are at it again.

LILY: I HATE YOU, POTTER! JUST GET OUT OF MY COMPARTMENT- GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

JAMES: *Looking hurt* Sorry Lily, I can't, I'm Head Boy.

Can't they just- wait a second- James Potter is Head Boy??? JAMES POTTER, the prank king????

OMG, Lily looks as though she's fainted. Now Jewel is throwing the Marauders- James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin- out of our compartment. Good. They deserve it.

OH MY GOD FRANK LONGBOTTOM JUST ENTERED OUR COMPARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must look like a freak. Frank just said hi, and here I am, scribbling away.

ME: Hi.

FRANK: What are you writing?

ME: Um.

FRANK: Diary?

ME: Yeah.

FRANK: Am I in it?
ME: *thrilled to pieces* Sure, if you want to be.

FRANK: Cool. See you around, Alice.

ME: See you.

I think I need to catch my breath. Frank Longbottom just had an actual conversation with me. ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE my life.

Later, Great Hall

I completely take that back. I DO NOT love my life. I hate my life instead. Here's what made me change my mind:

When I got off the train along with Lily, (who was grumbling) Stacy (who was blushing ferociously because Remus had just complimented her hairstyle) and Jewel, (who was lecturing us all on boys) Bellatrix Black suddenly appeared out of the blue.

She walked right up to me with her cronies- Pansy Zelman, Millie Avers, and her younger sister, Narcissa.

BELLATRIX: So. You're still overweight.

LILY: Get a life.

NARCISSA: *Giggling, to Jewel* Look at your hair!

JEWEL: What about it?

MILLIE: You've got VERY bad taste.

BELLATRIX: Shut it, Millie. *To me* Ever consider a weight loss charm?

That was when I noticed that Frank could totally hear everything. He turned around and glanced at Bellatrix, then at me. That was when his friend Paul tugged on his arm and they walked off.

I have never been so mortified before in my life.

Bellatrix Black has tormented me ever since she first laid eyes on me. Jewel says that I should stand up for myself, and that I should tell Bellatrix to her face what I think of her. That's a lot harder than it sounds. I DO NOT want to try it.

After she said the thing about the weight loss charm, Jewel slapped her, and then, taking me by the hand, she dragged me to an empty carriage.

That's Jewels main problem. When she gets mad, she can't express herself, and usually chooses violence. When Stacy gets mad she starts crying, Lily starts yelling, and I usually don't do anything until I'm alone. That's when I start punching my pillow very violently.

While we sat in the carriage, Stacy started biting her lip. She always does that when she's nervous. This time she was nervous because her younger twin sisters, Selma and Cynthia are starting Hogwarts this year. Stacy has been worrying all summer about what House they'll be in.

When Stacy's lip started to bleed Lily cried "Anastasia Mary Kay! Will you stop abusing your lip at once!"

Stacy stopped biting her lip, and Lily began ranting on about James Potter again.

LILY: He's such an arrogant bully. Did you see him tormenting that poor second year? And just because she was a Slytherin! Honestly! He's such an idiot! And he keeps on asking me out and everything! Ugh, I could KILL him! I can't stand him, I hate him, and I want him to go find some place to-

JEWEL: Lily, that's men. Males have always been arrogant. You know why? Because they're just having trouble accepting their place in society. They're just going to have to accept that the females are MUCH more intelligent and sophisticated than they are.

LILY: But I think Remus is an exception.

JEWEL: Lily, do you STILL like Remus Lupin?

LILY: *blushing* well...

ME: She's blushing! She does!

JEWEL: Honestly, Lily.

STACY: Will you stop teasing Lily?

So now we are all in the Great Hall watching the Sorting. OMG, now its Cynthia's turn to be sorted, poor Stacy, she's so worried about Cynthia...

SORTING HAT: RAVENCLAW!

Whew, at least she's not a Slytherin. Stacy looks relived.

MCGONAGALL: Kay, Selma!

SORTING HAT: SLYTHERIN!

Stacy is very pale. I must go comfort her.

Later, in bed

What an exhausting first day. You don't know HOW happy I am to be in my cozy bed, which is in between Lily's bed and Jewels.

Bellatrix Black found me again after the LOVELY feast, but before she could do anything, Jewel stepped up in front of me, and she escaped before Jewel could slap her again.

But here's the best part:

*Drum roll*

Frank said goodnight to me. Yeah, nobody noticed because every one was watching Lily send curses after James, but FRANK LONGBOTTOM SAID GOODNIGHT TO ME!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always knew that we were made for each other!!!

September 2.

This morning we were all awoken by a very bad song. It was sung very out of tune, and the singer had no singing voice what so ever. It was something like:

"My Lily,

My beautiful Lily,

My Flower!"

The first thing Jewel said was: "What the hell is that?" She has never been a morning person.

Lily was white and her nostrils were flaring. "Potter." She said in this really menacing voice.

"My Lily,

My Lily,

Won't you-"

Lily: POTTER!

James: Yes my love?

Lily: WHERE ARE YOU?

James: That's a secret.

That was then that Lily started yelling her head off about spying or whatever, and Jewel threw a pillow at her to make her shut up. It only made her yell even louder.

Stacy and I searched frantically for the source of his annoying voice. I had never hated James as much as Lily, but believe me, at that moment I was ready to blow his head off for waking us like that. I mean, my hair was sticking up and everything! What if Frank saw me?

It was while I was rummaging through my trunk, looking for him, that Stacy screamed.

I turned around and saw her pointing at the window.

Floating outside our window on his broomstick was James Potter, grinning cockily. I rushed over to the window and gave him a quick warning.

Me: James! You better get out of here fast! Lily's pretty mad-

James: I'll take care of it.

I stood aside to make way for Lily who was stomping over to the window.

Lily: JAMES POTTER!

James: Can I help you?

If only Frank would float outside my window and sing to me. It's a very romantic idea. I wonder why it irritates Lily so much. If Frank (or any other boy, for that matter) treated me the way James treats Lily, I would be in heaven. But that will probably never happen. I mean. I'm seventeen and I've never had a boyfriend. How pathetic is that???

Lily: Please remove yourself from this window.

James: Not until you agree to go out with me!

Lily: JAMES POTTER! YOU ARE THE MOST ARROGANT, BULLYING JERK I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE! DO YOU ENJOY MAKING MY LIFE MISERABLE? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THIS: MY LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT IDIOTS LIKE YOU FLOATING AROUND ON BROOMSTICKS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW! I HATE YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE! I SWEAR ON ALICE'S LIFE, POTTER, THAT IF YOU EVER, EVER, SAY SO MUCH AS ONE WORD TO ME, OR EVEN GIVE ME A LETTER, I WILL THROW MYSELF OFF THE TOP OF THE ATSRONOMY TOWER!

She said it so severely that I wouldn't be surprised if she actually DOES throw herself off the top of the astronomy tower.

And then it would all be my fault. Why? Because I am her best friend and should have somehow prevented it all from happening. Also, in third year I sat next to Sirius in Transfiguration, and while sitting next to him, I should have told him, to tell James, never to float on a broomstick outside the girl's dormitory window and sing some hideous song, and refuse to leave when asked to. PLUS in first year, I got sorted right after Katie Shamber (now a Hufflepuff) who later dated Remus. In that short while that she passed me the Sorting hat, I should have told her that when she went on a date with Remus Lupin three years later, she should tell him, to tell James, never to float on a broomstick outside the girls dormitory window singing some hideous song, and refuse to leave when asked to. And if this isn't enough, then there's that little detail that me and Lily are related. My mom's sister's husband's former wife's brother's daughter's cousin's son's wife's sister is Lily's mom. We like to say we're half sisters. So, seeing as we are related, it would all be my fault if Lily threw herself off the top of the astronomy tower.

Why is my life so confusing????

Lily slammed the window shut and stormed into the bathroom. I looked out the window and watched James fly away, his head hanging down.

I actually felt sorry for James Potter.

Later, History of Magic

I hate this subject. I mean, what's the point, anyway? WHO CARES ABOUT GOBLIN WARS???

And Binns is SO boring. I bet he knew Godric Gryffindor personally, he's so old.

Jewel is putting on black nail polish, Peter is asleep, Stacy is looking at the professor with this glazed look, James and Sirius are laughing over something, Paul is playing tic tac toe with himself, Remus and Lily ARE ACTUALLY TAKING NOTES, and Frank (heart flutters) is reading a book. I saw the title five seconds ago. It's Quidditch through the ages.

Frank is a Quidditch player; by the way, did I ever mention that? He's a Keeper on the Gryffindor team. James is a Seeker, Jewel, Derrick (fourth year) and Aninka (second year) are chasers, and two buffoons from third year are beaters.

I bet I can't play Quidditch. I can't do anything else, really, so why should I be able to play Quidditch? I mean, honestly.

Lily occasionally stops taking notes to glare at James. Now Sirius has passed her a note. She's reading it. I bet she'll kill the Marauders one day. I wouldn't be surprised. Now she's passed it to me. Here's what it says:

Lily-

James wants to know if you'll forgive him.

Circle one: yes no

Lily just took the note back and is ripping it up in front of both of them. James looks pretty hurt. Sirius is patting him on the back.

Jewel just woke up and passed me a note:

Alice,

Wouldn't it be cool to try and get Lily and James together?

Jewel

Um. No. They hate each other. Or at least, Lily hates James. Their relationship would last about a week. If not less.

Jewel should be asking people how to get me and Frank together. Our relationship would last forever. Or at least I think so.

Note to self: Borrow Quidditch through the ages from the library this afternoon. That way, I can try to talk to Frank about it!

September 3

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, Alice Marian Sharp, have detention for tonight and tomorrow with SIRIUS BLACK!!!!!!!! SIRIUS BLACK, I tell you! Here's what's so shocking:

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT????

Here's what happened:

Me and Lily were walking down to the Great Hall for breakfast, and I was talking about how Frank said goodnight to me.

Lily: Oh my God, Alice, that's great! You guys are so cute together! I bet Frank secretly likes you!

I giggled. Hey, I couldn't help it. The only thing that makes me giggle is Frank.

Me: You and Remus would be cute together!

Lily: Well...

Me: come on, admit it, you like him!

Lily: Okay, okay, I do. But it would be great if he didn't hang out with Potter and Black.

It was at that moment that Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and James all approached us.

Remus smiled good naturedly and said "Good morning Lily, Alice."

Lily: *blushing* Good morning, Remus

Sirius link one arm with me and the other with Lily and said, "Let me escort you ladies to the Great Hall." I laughed, but Lily looked all irritated and pushed him off.

Lily glowered at him, and then James.

Lily: Get away from me, Potter.

James glanced at Sirius, and Sirius, as though reading his expression, said: "The agreement was that he wouldn't attempt communication with you. You never said anything about walking with you."

Lily: YOU TWO ARE THE MOST ANNOYYING, BULLYING, IRRITATTING, IDIOTIC, ABNORMAL, UNKIND-

Sirius: Whoa, Prongs, we got ourselves a whole dictionary there!

James barely noticed him. He only nodded glumly and glanced at Lily. Lily took this whole glance thing WAY too personally, because she stopped in her tracks, took out her wand, pointed it at James, and yelled a curse that made James into a frog. A FROG!!!! He was really gross. He started jumping around and croaking. Lily was glaring at the frog (James), Peter was staring at Lily with his mouth open, Remus was picking James (the frog) up and muttering something about taking him to the hospital wing, and Sirius pulled out his wand, yelled: "FURNOCULOUS!" But luckily, the curse missed Lily.

I pulled out my wand, just in case. Lily sent a curse at Sirius, who started tap dancing, while yelling a curse that hit ME by accident. UGH!

All of a sudden my hands got all red and blotchy, and I could tell the same was happening to my face when Lily cried: "Alice- your face!"

It was chaos. Sirius was dancing all over the place, bumping into people, I was covering my face with one hand, and held my wand in the other, Peter ran off to find a teacher, James (the frog, remember?) had gotten out of Remus' grasp and was hopping merrily around on the floor, Remus was desperately trying to catch the frog (James) and Bellatrix Black was standing behind Lily laughing her head off.

After about five minutes of this, Peter came running back with Professor McGonagall. "WHAT IS THIS?" She cried.

Remus: Professor, it was-

Bellatrix: It was all-

James: Croak!

Lily: It was-

Me: Professor-

Sirius: STOP ARGUING AND UNDO THIS CURSE!

Professor McGonagall undid the curse and glanced at me, and then fixed my face.

She glanced at the wand in my hand, and then the wand in Sirius' hand.

MCGONAGALL: Miss. Sharp, Black, with me, please! Lupin, take er... who exactly is that frog?

REMUS: James Potter, Professor.

MCGONAGALL: Take Potter to the hospital wing and get him back to normal. Sharp, Black, with me!

Lily: it wasn't Alice, P-

Bellatrix: Shut up, Evans.

So I had no choice but to follow Professor McGonagall to my doom. In her office she told us that we would be scrubbing all the awards clean for detention tonight and tomorrow night. Hallelujah.

Why does everything happen to me?????

Later, Transfiguration

I told Jewel, Stacy, and Lily about my detention. Lily was very sympathetic, Stacy was all shocked, and Jewel started lecturing me. Again.

Jewel: Oh, my God, Alice, you should really have stood up for yourself in McG's office. I mean, honestly, you are so not guilty! What is it with you? You really have to stop letting people walk all over you. I just don't get it. Alice, you should have told McGonagall that you are innocent! Because I know you, Alice! You're so gullible! I bet Bellatrix Black is laughing over your bad fortune right this instant! I bet that wouldn't be happing if you stood up for yourself! You-

Lily: Okay, thank you, Jewel.

Jewel glared at her for a few moments, and then started talking about the stupidity of the ministry.

But I guess Jewel is right. I SHOULD have told Professor McGonagall the truth. But quite honestly, when I stood in Professor McGonagall's office, my mouth turned to sandpaper. It's quite tragic. It happens every time I'm face to face with a teacher, Frank, or Bellatrix Black.

Even later, Defense Against the Dark Arts

I just thought of something: what if my detention will be remembered throughout the rest of my life???

What if I'm not allowed to graduate because I got detention???

What if I'm not allowed to become an Auror because I got detention for a crime I didn't commit???

They don't send people to Azkaban for hexing someone in the hallways do they??

I bet this has ruined my life.

Gryffindor Common Room

Okay Alice, breathe in and out. Deep breaths now, in, out, in, out, in- THIS ISN'T WORKING!!!!!!!

Jewel just told me to relax and get a grip. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RELAX IF I HAVE DETENTION IN EXACTLY FOURTEEN MINUTES?????

Lily is very sympathetic and is telling me that she will get James back for this. Stacy says that she's sure James didn't want this to happen.

Speaking of James, he still hasn't come back from the hospital wing. The other three marauders have been acting very coldly towards Lily. I guess I can understand that. I mean, if James turned Jewel into a frog I certainly wouldn't treat him very well.

Maybe Madam Pomfrey can't fix James. Maybe the curse is permanent. Oh well, I guess James will just have to learn to live with it.

HOW CAN I BE THINKING ABOUT JAMES WHEN PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL THINKS I'M A CRIMINAL?

Oh, no, I think I'm going to throw up. Sirius is coming down from the boy's dormitory now. He says its time to go. I'm pretty sure I won't survive this.