From the Ashes

The night before, when Harry had made his way to the Gryffindor common room, refusing politely when people asked him to sit with them, the Great Hall had been in full celebration, and there was noise and laughter everywhere. So when Harry pushed open the grand doors and stepped in, his steps faltered as he looked around. Of course, this was to be expected, and he frowned as he continued walking. As the joy of victory had lost its edge, grief and mourning replaced it, filling the survivors' hearts with pain and sorrow. Now families sat huddled close together, weeping and murmuring softly. Not being able to spot the Weasleys, and noticing that his appearance had people craning their necks to gawk at him, Harry took the closest seat; a seat next to Luna, who was sitting with Dean Thomas.

With a slight shock, Harry saw that the two had jumped apart slightly as he joined them, but were stilling holding hands on the table, something he didn't notice before. Harry was about to apologize, but Luna turned to Harry, and with a dazed smile, stood up, kissing Dean on the cheek after releasing his hand. "I have to find daddy, it has been so long since I've seen him. Bye, Harry. See you later, Dean." Gracefully she turned around and drifted off in to the crowd, calling, "Goodbye, Ronald," over her shoulder.

As soon as she was gone, Ron took her seat and grinned at Dean. "Do you know who you were just cuddling up to? It was Luna! Luna Lovegood! Since when have you been dating Loony Lovegood?" Ron had leant in closer to Dean, though his voice was actually getting louder as he teased him, who had turned a shocking shade of red.

"Well..." Dean tactically avoided eye contact with Ron as he poured himself some pumpkin juice. "We're not really dating as such. Just when we were at your brother's house together I sort of got to know her better. I admit she is sometimes strange; but really she is a caring and sweet girl. Plus she was like a bat out of hell in battle." Dean smiled, with an almost proud glint in his eye, and raised his cup to his mouth. Then, at that precise moment, Ron thumped him on his back, causing him to splutter over the table.

"A true Gryffindor this one, must be brave if he'd date Luna Lovegood after all," Ron said to Harry, with a smirk on his face which instantly made the three young men start laughing, but it died quickly. Their laughter seemed to echo in the mourning room, coming back at them hollow and twisted. In that moment of silence between the three, they started feeling the grief enter their hearts too, causing Ron to look around the hall. "I wonder where my family is... Where Fred is..." Ron's voice cracked when he mentioned his dead brother and he looked down at the table to hide the tears threatening to overspill.

It was Dean who spoke after another silence; his voice was also injured with grief. "They moved his body in the broom cupboard out in the Entrance Hall while the other bodies were moved in to the anti-chamber." Dean nodded in the direction of the door behind the Staff table. "Hermione told me that she was with Ginny and that if you came looking for them they would be with the rest of the family sitting with Fred." His eyes darted towards the door again before muttering, "Sorry, mate."

Suddenly Harry had lost his appetite as he imagined the rows of dead waiting beyond that door; all the people those people had died for him. Roughly the number of dead had been forty-five the night before, but not all the bodies had been retrieved and some people might have passed away from injuries since then. No, Harry shouted at himself furiously, don't think like that. Slowly he got up, hoping others didn't see how his legs were shaking. Hardly taking his eyes from the door he thanked Dean and slowly walked towards the chamber, with Ron right behind him.

Before Harry had thought the room was hushed; now it was deathly quiet as the people sitting turned to watch the Boy Who Lived, along with his best friend, go pay their respects to the dead. Reaching the door Harry raised his hand to turn the handle but he froze, horrified by the amount of lifeless bodies he would see on the other end. Finally it was Ron who gently pushed Harry out of the way and opened the door himself, instantly rushing out of view as he spotted his family.

Hardly daring to look, Harry stepped in to the chamber, his eyes on his feet, and shut the door behind him before finally dragging his gaze from the floor. Fifty-four coffins. He counted them twice. Some could say that they were lucky that so few had died, but to Harry every life here was precious and wasted, and all could have been saved if he only sacrificed himself sooner. These people were dead because of him.

It was one grieving family that caught all of his attention, however. His feet suddenly so heavy, Harry made his way over to the huddled crowd of ginger-haired mourners. Harry looked at all the pained faces, lingering slightly on Ginny, before looking down at Fred. Even in death Fred's face looked light-hearted and carefree. The joke he was telling when he died was still on his face, making it glow with laughter. But Harry would never hear the twins laugh together again. He would never see the twins playing pranks on unsuspecting victims again. At least more didn't die. Harry wouldn't be able to cope if more of his adopted family died.

Some of the Weasley family had looked up, hearing his approach, but Harry was pulled aside by a thin man who clutched a red eyed woman to his side. "Mr Potter, I would like to say thank you. So much." His wife nodded quickly and Harry looked past the couple to see two coffins lying close to each other, the bodies inside obviously brother and sister. He was thanking Harry for causing the death of his children.

More and more grieving families started coming towards Harry, thanking him, and smiling at him, some even trying to give him gifts. A watch, a ring; anything they had on them. Now Harry lost sight of the Weasley clan, and no matter what Harry said, he was still being praised and thanked from all sides. "No... Don't... It's... Please... Stop!" The last word came out more forcefully than Harry meant, but at least he got those who surrounded him to pause.

Without another word Harry pushed through the crowd and back in to the Great Hall. Quickly, almost jogging, Harry made his way through the room, averting his eyes from the glances he was now getting. He pretended he didn't hear it when someone shouted his name, and when Neville tried to grab his arm Harry just shook it off and gave such a pleading look that Neville left him alone. Now in the entranceway Harry pushed open the huge oak doors and felt spring air slap him in the face. It strangely felt good. Putting his hands in his pockets, Harry stumbled forward on to the lawn before his knees buckled from under him.

Sitting in the cool and damp grass Harry let himself cry for the first time since killing Tom Riddle, as he now stubbornly called him, and pulling his invisibility cloak from his jacket pocket, draped it over himself so at long last he could be left to grieve and mourn for the lost souls in peace.