Figuring

FIGURING

Awake! Give thyself to the lovely hours.
Drinking their lips, catch thou the dream in flight
About their fragile hears' aerial gold.
-- Trumbull Stickney

"I need to talk to you."

James looked up from his book, and his seat by the fire, and flinched.

Remus Lupin had a baleful stare, when he wanted something. Combined with a flush on his cheeks (probably from the warmth of the common room) and wild hair still damp after the gang's afternoon out in the rain, he was a fierce sight.

"I hope that's all you need," he said, marking the book and closing it, folding his hands in his lap. "You could brush your hair, you know."

Remus ran a hand through his tufty, almost furry brown hair. "And not here," he added.

James realised Remus wasn't irritable; he was nervous. He shrugged, and stood, following the other boy through the Portrait-hole, and out into the damp corridor. They walked barefoot, and didn't make much noise; Remus shoved his hands into his pockets, waiting until they were a relatively good distance from the common room before he spoke.

"Sirius," he said succinctly.

"I'm aware of his existence," James replied, in a dry tone.

"You're not making this easier on me."

"It would help if I knew more than 'Sirius'," said James. Remus stopped, and leaned against a wall, facing him.

"Sirius kissed me," he said. James raised an eyebrow.

"He does that, to boys, sometimes," he said. "I thought you knew."

Remus shook his head, hair falling into his eyes, and he brushed it out again carelessly.

"Then he's been more circumspect than I gave him credit for," James continued. "Did you kiss him back?"

"What, are we third years?"

"Well, you brought it up."

Remus crossed his arms, and sighed. "I did."

"Good show, Sirius! We had a bet on about you, you know, back in fifth year. Wonder if I can still get him to pay up."

"Not funny, James."

"Here, if you're getting action with the Pads, how come you're so cranky?"

Remus covered his face in his hands, and sighed.

"James, Sirius told me things. I'm having a bit of trouble believing about the mechanics of everything, but that's not here nor there...he told me you and he..."

James shifted, uncomfortably now, and blushed. "Well yes. But that was ages ago, Remus, and it was just a bit of a lark, you know."

Remus nodded, behind his hands. "As usual, one step behind the pair of you."

"Well, better one step behind us than one step ahead of anyone else," James replied smugly. Remus nodded again, allowing that this was probably true. "Is that all you wanted to know?"

"No. I mean..." Remus sighed, and dropped his hands. "This is terrifically embarrassing, suddenly. I mean do you really....and with your...and then....sex is a lot less complicated with women, you know."

"Not really. Well. Maybe some parts." James grinned, suddenly. "Ah, you haven't done more than kissing, have you? Least you've got someone who knows what he's doing, think what we had to go through. Lots of...figuring out bits."

"James!"

"S'true."

"Well, I've never done any figuring out and Sirius seems to have it all figured out and I'm just a bit nervous that between his figuring and my figuring there's a lot I don't know," Remus said, in one breath, voice nearly cracking. "And he says he wants to do things and of course I want to do things, but honestly. I mean, there's some things I really think he's having me on about."

"And you want the advice of someone who's...been there?" James asked, grin widening. Remus, distracted from his wretched monologue, gave him a small smile.

"If you want to put it like that," he said shyly. James nodded, and tapped one finger on his chin, imitating Professor Binns down to the facial expression.

"Don't ever do that again when we're talking about this," Remus said, with a mock shudder. James broke his pose, and laughed.

"I tell you what, I'm not going to give you any gory details in the hallways of Hogwarts," James said. "We'll go to the Three Broomsticks this week-end, you can buy me a butterbeer while Sirius and Peter are in the sweet shop. Because I am definitely going to need a drink."

Remus nodded, and gave him another fleeting smile. "Ta, James. I appreciate it."

"Yeah, well, Sirius has roaming hands. A boy ought to know what to do about it," James replied, laughing.

***

"So," James said, as he settled in over his butterbeer. Remus, across from him, looked anxious still. "What exactly has Sirius told you?"

"About you, or -- "

"Well, not that I wouldn't like to know, but no." James held up a hand. "About, in order of importance, boys kissing boys, boys touching boys, boys doing things to other boys, and...boys doing other boys."

Remus choked on his drink, and coughed. James hit him on the back.

"Is that even possible?" he asked.

"It takes skill," James replied thoughtfully. "First thing's first."

"Oh well. We've kissed and that," Remus said, waving a hand, still trying to fully clear his throat. "And, and...listen, should we have some kind of code for this?"

"I think that would be," James said cautiously, "an incredibly bad idea."

"All right then. The first two pretty much I've got covered, it's not all that different from...um..."

"Right," James said hurriedly. He took another deep drink. "And the third?"

"Well...when I was seeing that Ravenclaw in sixth year, she told me right up front she wasn't ever going to...you know. So I...I know it can be done. I just don't know how."

"I really hope we're thinking about the same thing here," James sighed. "That's nothing, you make Sirius do that first, he's good at it."

Remus looked horrified. "Make him? I don't want to even mention it to him! Not that he hasn't brought it up, but really, James, what do I say?"

James grinned. He let his tongue slide out and around the edge of the butterbeer bottle. Remus' eyes widened. The black-haired boy lifted it and took a sip, lips slipping down over the neck just enough --

When he put the bottle down, Remus was flushed, and looking away.

"If you want it," James said slowly, "You have to ask for it."

"Just out with it?" Remus asked, his voice low and a little hoarse. My god, James thought, the boy must be trembling for it if that little trick can put him into a state like this.

He hoped Sirius hadn't been toying with Remus. That was unfair and cruel.

"Or there's that," James said, and had the pleasure of seeing the blush deepen. "Now, as to number four..."

"Sirius said some sort of...unbelievable things," Remus muttered.

"Like?"

"Arses and that."

"Oh that. Yeah. Lucky for you Sirius likes to...er...be the arse, as it were."

Remus laughed, and James realised what he'd said.

"It's just like with girls, only you have to sort of...get things ready ahead of time," he said. "And it's easier if you're not...facing each other."

They were, James thought, going to win the all-time record for uncomfortable pauses.

"It's true though?"

"Aye. Did you think Sirius would lie to you?"

Remus shrugged. "I thought he might have been playing games."

James reached across the table and tipped his chin up a little, looking in his eyes.

"What did you do when Sirius kissed you?" he asked.

"Kissed him back, course," Remus answered. "After about two seconds of intense confusion."

"Never fancied lads before?"

Remus pulled back and looked away. "Not like I fancy Sirius," he said quietly. "Do...do you ever?"

"Nah. Sirius was pure desperation. Oh, and I on his part, I'm sure," James added. "We were just mucking about because we didn't have girls to try it with."

Remus nodded musingly. "Could you erm...show me that thing with your lips again?"

James lifted an eyebrow. The other boy looked pleading. "Just so I can see how you did it," he insisted. James grinned.

"Wotcha, lads!"

Sirius appeared so suddenly that Remus started, and James set his bottle down with a thud.

"Didn't order for me?" Sirius demanded. "Ah well. Peter, get us a butterbeer?"

Peter, at the counter, nodded and said something to the barkeep.

"Up to anything?" Sirius asked, and both Remus and James blushed a little; Remus thought he heard something odd in Sirius' voice.

"Just talking," James answered. "Figuring out some things," he added, with a grin in Remus' direction. Sirius gave them a suspicious look, but just then Peter arrived with their drinks. They moved on to other topics, Sirius extolling the virtues of the new Honeyduke's dark chocolate, until evening was falling and they were expected back soon.

"And if all else fails," James said in Remus' ear, as they left, "You could try getting drunk."

"That might be helpful," Remus muttered back, before Sirius slung an arm around his neck to match the one around Peter's.

***

Sirius was extremely good at getting rid of people in the dormitories. It was a knack. With the added influence of James, who was willing to babysit Peter for an evening in order to give Remus time to put new theoretical lessons to practical use, it was hardly any time at all before Sirius -- shirtless and lying on his bed -- and Remus -- trouserless, in boxers, and lying on his, reading -- were alone.

"I have a question for you," Sirius said, into the silence that Remus knew was fast becoming awkward.

"Oh?" he asked, not looking up.

"Are you screwing about with me?"

Remus frowned, and closed his book, turning to glance at his friend. "What?"

"Because if so I'd just as soon you not bother," Sirius continued, in a tone that Remus knew was his calm-but-furious voice.

"What on earth makes you think that?"

"You and James," Sirius said sullenly. "I saw you today. Chatting before we got there. And James being all slick, like he is."

Remus grinned. "If you're going to be jealous of the people I spend time with, you're going to be angry at James and Peter an awful lot, you know."

"You weren't just talking," Sirius accused.

"No, we were actually making mad passionate love. We can do it telepathically, you know," Remus said, disgusted.

"What were you talking about?"

"That's really not your business, Sirius."

"Did you not see him molesting his butterbeer bottle? No, I know you did, because I saw the way you looked when he did it."

Remus paused. "You were spying on us?"

"He was giving you a sex show in front of the world! It'd be hard not to!"

"A sex show, Sirius, he was drinking his drink!"

"With sex!"

"You've gone utterly mad," Remus replied.

"Have I? Do you deny that there's anything going on between you and James?"

"Of course I do! Bloody hell, I can barely handle you, what do you think I am, the Casanova of Gryffindor Tower?"

Sirius threw himself off his bed, and crossed his arms. "What were you talking about that made him want to give his butterbeer an orgasm in front of you and the rest of the bar?"

"You, if you must know!" Remus blurted. Sirius stared. "We were talking about you, all right? And me. And things. Sex things. Okay?"

"Why...?"

"Because I don't know anything about it." Remus flopped back on the bed and closed his eyes, covering his face with his hands. "So I asked James to give me some advice because god knows I can't ever tell when you're pulling my leg. And as it turns out you're not, which is still rather hard to believe, but there's no point in any of it now because you're obviously off your rocker and even if I wanted you to -- to do things to me -- you wouldn't."

It startled Sirius, he could tell; there was a quick intake of breath, and the sound of him moving towards the bed.

"You were asking James for...advice?" he asked. Remus nodded, mournfully. "Because you didn't want to ask me?"

"Because I couldn't ask you, Sirius, because you are y -- " Remus stopped halfway through the word, because Sirius' hand had dropped to his stomach, and was touching it gently.

"I wouldn't lie to you, not about this," Sirius insisted.

"You don't know what it's like, suddenly having to deal with...with you after years of thinking girls were the only option," Remus said. He still hadn't opened his eyes, but he could feel Sirius' fingers tugging on the waistband of his boxers, and he lifted a little, encouraging. There was a low noise from Sirius as he slid them off.

"I can show you," Sirius said. Bedsprings creaked. Remus felt a warm kiss on his navel. "All you had to do was tell me."

"But I can't tell you. I'm scared."

"Of me?"

"Of doing it wrong."

Sirius laughed, a deep vibration against his skin.

"You won't do it wrong," he assured him, and Remus arched his hips as the warmth of Sirius' face pulled away. Only for a second, though, because Oh.

Sirius.

Oh, Sirius.

He opened his eyes and moaned as Sirius' mouth slid over his cock, a thousand times better than anything he'd ever felt before. Even Sirius' hands, the rough rub of Sirius against him, was nothing like this, gods above he was in Sirius' mouth, and he wasn't even coherent enough to be taking notes on how....

His hands instinctively tangled in Sirius' hair, pulling him closer, and for a second he was worried but then Sirius followed, moaning around him -- must remember to try that -- and gripping his hips, holding him down. He struggled against it, because it felt so good even to struggle. And then Sirius moaned again and the words went out of his head and he forgot everything except Sirius --

His back arched and tensed as he came, crying out between gritted teeth, Sirius still moving around him, clutching his hips. Short, unbearable bursts of pleasure wracked his body, and when he finally collapsed back on the blanket, he realised Sirius had...

Oh, there was so much wonderful to learn about Sirius.

The dark-haired boy crawled up his body, kissing his ribs, his chest, his collarbone, sliding lips along his jaw and tongue into his mouth. Remus realised, with a start and a pleasant shiver, that he was tasting himself in Sirius' mouth.

"Congratulations," Sirius said. "Enjoy it?"

"Mmm," Remus answered, aware that Sirius' body was covering his, that their hips were rubbing slowly together, that Sirius obviously did enjoy doing...that...

"Not scared anymore?" Sirius asked, shifting, shifting. Remus smiled and slid one hand down his back, under his trousers and around his hip, shoving him gently over. His fingers found Sirius' erection and the other boy moaned into his neck.

"More, please Remus..." he asked, and Remus smiled and stroked tighter, fingers and palm rubbing across the sensitive skin, setting a rhythm faster than Sirius' thrusting hips, faster than his short sharp breaths. He felt Sirius' pulse quicken -- was this how he had sounded? Moans and incoherent pleading and so hot and ready...

Sirius tensed, a wild cry torn from his throat, and then he was silent again, in Remus' arms, breathing deeply against the sensitive skin of his neck.

"I don't think you need to worry about doing anything wrong, Moony," he said, after a while. "I think I forgot my own name."

Remus smiled, and stroked his hair. "It's Sirius."

END