Tell Me How You Really Feel

Tell Me How You Really Feel

To Grow Up

Last night I took a good look at myself in the mirror after having the best shag of my life, and I realized how much I really have changed in the past seven years. When I first looked, I didn’t recognize myself. My hair is longer, shaggier, my face has lost its baby fat, and I finally look like a man. My body? Well, let’s just say that two long years of working out for three hours everyday before classes, and two hours everyday after classes, has finally taken effect.

Do you want to know something else about growing up? I think we’ve all kind of matured. Not just physically, even though we all look quite different from all the training, but mentally. Doing what we do, I think change is sort of unavoidable. We have to accept things, deal with things, and we are forced to grow up. I never wanted that for any of us, especially Ginny, but in the end it’s probably for the best, you know? Noticing myself looking differently has really made me look at the family I have around me. We’ve all grown into such amazing people, into true adults

So, anyway, back to the best shag of my life. Ginny calls me a man whore, but…I just like to think of myself as really social. When you got it, you use it, and what can I say? I most definitely have it. She really has it too...I’ve never thought so much about a night like this. I had no intentions of taking her offer, I was going to walk her to her common room and say a polite goodbye...okay so maybe I would have had a good snog, but I didn’t plan on anything else. You know, she’s a great kisser...so good in fact, that I became concerned with her safety, so much so that I had to see that she got safely to her room. She did. I admit I have had my fair share of women, but damn, that girl...I don’t even know what she did differently...but bloody hell, I’m already ready for the round two she promised me. Speaking of which...maybe I should owl her right now...

Ha, maybe I’m so...social...because I’ve come into adulthood so fast. Ha ha, well whatever it is, I like it. What guy wouldn’t, I mean come on, can you blame me? Oh well, call me a man whore, I don’t care, it’s what I love and who I am. I’m pretty fabulous huh?

I am Ron Weasley.

Tell Me How You Really Feel

Chapter 6 Control

Well that’s it. My own inescapable stupidity has broken down the barriers I have so carefully built up and it is because of this that my life will soon be ending. I cannot believe I had the audacity to do that. Of course it wasn’t entirely my fault, but I am the man and I am older. Even now, I don’t think I could recall how it all even happened… one minute I was alone, walking down the corridor (which I thought to be deserted, thank you very much) and then suddenly I was not alone, and my hands were no longer at my sides but on her body . . . her beautiful body.

I remember the taste of her kiss on my lips, like I just placed them upon hers . . . and I starve for her. I remember distinctly the way her throat quivered right before it released a guttural moan as my lips brushed over the skin. In that moment, the sensation that ran through my body was nothing short of . . . well, orgasmic. Although this mistake is supposed to have been a horrible one, for the first time in my life I find myself thankful for my weakness.

That girl… no, that woman… is so beautiful it’s terrifying. She has something . . . I’ve never seen it in anybody else before. She pulls you in, and you just can’t seem to get out . . . but then you realize you don’t want to get out. You want to be with her, a part of her, for as long as she’ll have you. If I can know this, realize this, after one encounter . . . my heart cries to know what it’s like after another, and another. I’m not supposed to want her, I’m not supposed to care . . . but Merlin, I do. I used to be able, albeit with great concentration, to rip my eyes away from her. Now, I know that it is impossible.

I can count at least eight grown men that will want my head on a stake if they find out what we did, or what I feel for her. I’m going to have to be near her every single day for the next year, and if I’m smart (which I have come to question lately) I will find a way to restrain my fingers from touching, my eyes from looking, and prevent myself from wanting to feel her beneath my touch. Argh! It’s hopeless. They are bound to notice. How can they not? I’m still stuck between praising myself for letting go, and scolding myself for letting it happen. It is not meant to be this way; I am supposed to be able to control my emotions and my feelings, no matter how she plays with them. That is what I specialize in, is it not?

She takes away my power and my strength; she sucks out my control with every glance. Her kiss… it makes me want to give it all up, just to be able to have her. But I cannot, and I shouldn’t have done what I did.

I kissed a Goddess.