Bitter Means To A Bitter Future

chapter one

Severus Snape was a bit of an outcast. He was skinny and gangly. His black hair was disheveled and unclean. He was a know-it-all and a smart aleck. He wasn’t very athletic, and was actually not very good at Quidditch. The severity of his unpopularity often threw Severus into long bouts of depression and sleepwalking. He often found himself waking in odd places around the Slytherin common room. And he constantly daydreamed.
 He particularly dreamed of being one James Potter. Potter had everything. He was attractive and funny and athletic. He was probably the most popular student at Hogwarts. It was already rumored that he was going to be head boy. But worst of all was his girlfriend, Lily. Severus thought Lily must have been the most beautiful girl at school, possibly in the entire wizarding world. And she was all Potter’s.
 Just thinking about it brought Severus down. And this made him vulnerable. As he sat thinking all this he was approached by Lucius Malfoy, an intrusive and cruelly witty blond.
 “Snape, old boy,” he said loudly, “I’ve got this wonderfully terrible plan I think you might like to get involved in. You see me and some of the other boys are going to play a nasty little trick on Potter and his group of idiots, and I just thought that you, being that you are in line for a bit of revenge, might like to join us.”
 Severus was entitled to some revenge towards Potter’s friends, for trying to kill him. But Potter had saved him; he was in Potter’s debt. But at the same time the humiliation of Potter might make Lily free—what was he thinking? As though Lily Evans would speak to him if he were the last man on earth. Malfoy was a jerk, but he was popular his group was always growing these days and if Severus was to get into the top level of friends
 “Tell me more,” Severus said decidedly.

* * * * *

 The next day in potions the professor decided it would do the students well to mix houses. James Potter was partnered with a clever Ravenclaw girl. One of his less fortunate friends, Peter Pettigrew, was partnered with Malfoy. To Severus’ utter delight and complete horror, he was paired with none other than Lily Evans. She even smiled as she sat next to him.
 “I must be in luck today,” she said kindly. “You must be the best potions student in our whole year!”
 A hot blush burned Severus’ cheeks. He started to pull out his book as he mumbled, “Well I, I’m sure I’m not not the best at—“
 “Don’t be so modest!” Lily put her hand over his on the book. “I bet you don’t even have to look in that book to see what the ingredients are.” She was staring at him, smiling. “Go on.”
 “W-well there’s uh ” he began, and shakily named off all the ingredients.
 Lily pulled the book out and pointed at the spell. “You see!” Severus smiled quietly trying to get rid of the terrible blush. Lily went on, “This must be my worst subject. I suppose it doesn’t help that its James’ too.”
 “Well I ” stuttered Severus, “I’m sure I could help you sometime, if you liked.” That had taken a great deal of courage, so he settled back in his seat.
 “Do you mean it?” Lily said in disbelief. “I’d like that very much!”
 The rest of the period went very well for Severus, because he was so cheerful. It went rather slow for the rest of the class because of the ungainly conflicts produced by mixing houses.
 Lily even hugged him on their way out, and thanked him again.
 “That was interesting,” said James, taking Lily’s hand while walking through the hallway. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were close behind.
 “So Lily,” said Sirius, “what was that little bit of affection on the way out?”
 “Severus is going to help me with my potions,” Lily said matter-of-factly.
 After this of course there was a bit of controversy in the group. Business about the dangers of mingling with a Slytherin so soon before a Quidditch match with them, and about possible supervision needs.
 “Seriously, the way he goggles over you,” said Remus, “why you’d even take that risk is beyond me.”
 “That’s the truth.” Sirius gesticulated over dramatically as he spoke. “I’ve seen him a bunch of times during meals just staring at you, and I think he has drawings of you in that crazy book of his!”
 Peter began to chime in. “Prongs if I were you, I wouldn’t let—“
 “James really,” sighed Lily, “if you had told me when we agreed to go steady that I would have four boyfriends I would have said no.”
 James stepped back and put both hands up. “I didn’t say anything, nothing at all!” Everyone glared at him. “Hey, do what you want, I think it will be fine.”
 Lily smiled triumphantly.

* * * * *

 Severus was studying when he was, again, approached by Malfoy. Malfoy stretched out on the couch and yawned before actually saying anything.
 “You know Snape, you don’t want to get involved with mudbloods.” He noticed Severus’ hard stare. “Oh sure, they can be fun and all, if just for a good romp or something. But love Snape? Really. Those types are so below us. Do you understand?”
 Severus sat for a moment, staring at him. “Malfoy, do you want my help or not?”
 “I see how it is. But someday you’ll understand. We have to get rid of them, they are just tainting the wizard gene pool.” Still the same stare. “Fine, have it your way, but you’ll see. I promise you’ll see.”
 Severus closed his books and went into the dormitories. As he closed the heavy green curtains and, soon after, his eyes he saw one image: that smile.