Famous Last Words

Famous Last Words

By SacredDreams

For Libby, Gena, Ankita, and Ginny <3

"Wakey wakey," Sirius crowed, hitting James over the head with a pillow.
James pretended he was asleep.
"That's not fooling me! Get up. I'm the only one awake and if I hit Remus over the head he would probably curse me to death." Sirius said, hitting James harder.
"Did it ever occur to you that I could just as easily curse you?" James grumbled.
"Yeah, but I know your mum and she would kill you!" Sirius said.
"Shut up, you lunatic, and get some sleep!" James muttered, pulling the blankets over his head.
"Wake UP, you lazy git!" Sirius responded, whacking him harder.
James sat up and pushed Sirius off his bed with a loud thump.

"Good morning to you, too," James said.
Seconds later, he rolled of his bed and dove under Remus' to escape Sirius' mad pillow.
"Ra!" Sirius yelled, yanking on James' ankle.
"Go play somewhere else," Remus said over James' yelps, opening one eye and staring at them like they were insane asylum escapees.
"Good idea," James said, grinning, and made a break for the door.
Sirius followed, only to have the door slam shut in his face. "I'll get you for that!" Sirius shouted, opening the door and following James' peals of laughter and running down the stairs.
"Ah! Help!"
"I've got you now!"
"Leggo, you ugly brute!"
"Ouch! When's the last time you cut your toenails?"
"About a month ago. Why do you ask?"
"Because you just cut me with them!" WUMPH!
"Ah!"
Lily's eyes opened to slits. Before she could inquire as to who was yelling at such an ungodly hour, the outbreak continued.
"Sirius, you git! Give me back my socks!"
Sirus? That prat from the train?
"No way, toenail boy!"
Then who was the other voice?
"JAMES!"

Lily's feet hit the floor with a loud thump. Before she could think of any coherent response to the outbreak of noise, she was marching down the stairs and into the common room.

The two boys jumped apart from their wrestling match on the floor when a voice reminiscent of Mrs. Potter's snapped, "What are you doing?"

"Ah!" James yelped, thinking it was his mother, and rolled across the floor away from Sirius and his socks, smacking into legs covered with a white nightgown. The girl lost her balance and fell, carried by James' momentum into a tangled heap on the ground.

"Ow," James moaned, rubbing his stomach. "Move your elbow."

"I can't," Lily retorted, you're laying on it, toenail boy."

James rolled onto his back and Lily extracted her limbs from James'.

"Why'd you come and yell at us?" Sirius asked, irritated.

"Yeah, Lily. It's early; you might've waken somebody up," James added.

Lily stared at them, mouth agape, as two spots of red colored her cheeks. "I'm making noise!" She hissed in a shrill whisper. "I'm making noise! You two-" she pointed accusingly at the two boys "-woke me up with your antics and I came down to tell you to shut up! You're not supposed to play this early in the morning!"

"Well what would you be doing at this hour if you were awake? Brushing your hair?" Lily glared at James.

"Think of it this way," Sirius said pleasantly. "Now you have more time to get ready."

Lily glared a final time and turned on her heel, marching back up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

Just quiet enough to keep from waking her roommates, Lily huffed to the vanity table. She glared at her reflection in the mirror for a moment before sitting down and running a brush through her red hair.

* * *

James and Sirius, needless to say, were the first to arrive to breakfast. The House Elves polishing the tables looked up and squeaked in dismay to see the two students so early.

"You is too early!" The House Elf with a polka-dotted cap protested, shooing them with her hands.

"Sorry," James and Sirius apologized in unison, stumbling over each other to run from shooing hands.

"Stops! Sirs can bes here, Dotty!" Another House Elf said hurriedly.

The House Elf seemed to vanish in thin air, and Dotty along with it.

Sirius and James eyed the rest of the room warily.

"That was weird," Sirius said slowly.

"I heard Dumbledore is liberal with the House Elves," James shrugged. "I guess it's true."

Sirius nodded and both took their places at the table to wait for breakfast.

It wasn't long before other early-rises staggered in, most rubbing their eyes and falling into their seats.

By the time breakfast magically appeared on the table, James and Sirius were ravenous. They piled their plates high with scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, sausage, waffles, as well as anything else that came their way.

"Hungry?" Remus asked with a smile, sliding into the seat across from them.

"Yffth," Sirius replied through a mouthful of food.

"First years!" A clear voice rang out. "Here's your schedules! First years!" A prefect walked by and handed schedules to the boys.

"Look, we've got charms first!" Sirius exclaimed. "I bet we get to learn how to make fireworks shoot out of our wands!"

"And if you take my socks again," James said threateningly, pointing his wand at Sirius' robes. "You'll find yourself very cold."

Remus and James laughed as Sirius pulled his robes tighter.

From the other end of the table, two girls glared at the three boys.

"How could they be so awake?" Lizzie grumbled, pushing her breakfast around on her plate. "It's way too early."

"Then maybe you shouldn't stay up all night anymore," Lexi teased, pushing her identical twin's shoulder. "We have Charms first! You're going to need your full attention for that. Don't forget what happened to Uncle Jacques."

"What happened to Uncle Jacques?" Lily inquired over a blueberry muffin, forcing herself to stop glaring.

Lexi and Lizzie looked at each other. "Well," Lizzie started. "He wasn't very good at Charms..."

"And he was really clumsy, too," Lexi jumped in. "One day he shattered a mirror, and everyone knows what happens then-"

"-seven years bad luck," Lizzie interrupted. "So he tried to put it back together to escape the bad luck, except it had already set in. So when he tried to put the mirror back together-"

"-he tried to use the reparo charm," Lexi interjected. "And he did something wrong and the charm reflected off of the mirror. He turned into a cricket in front of Aunt Hilda's very eyes and jumped away. We never saw him again."

"But Hilda keeps every cricket she finds now," Lizzie said cheerfully.

Lily stared at the twins. Were they serious, or were they just joking?

"You're joking," Lily decided.

"'Cross my heart it's true!" Lizzie said, touching her heart.

Lily raised her eyebrows and did her best to look skeptical, but felt her stomach lurch. By the time she had taken her seat in Charms class she knew why: she was a tiny, little bit scared.

"Welcome students!" The tiny professor squeaked, waving his wand in the air and beaming. Streamers shot out of the end and arched over the class, disappearing with a flick of his wrist.

"Wow!" James said, grinning widely at Sirius.

"I am Professor Flitwick, Professor of Charms. I'm very pleased to be teaching you Charms 1!"

Lily smiled weakly at the enthusiastic Professor. It was hard to match his enthusiasm when Lily was scared out of her wits. She didn't hear a word the Professor said, even though she watched his mouth move. What if she messed up like Uncle Jacques? She could end up as a cricket--or worse!

"We'll begin with a simple levitation spell," Professor Flitwick said. "Groups of 3 will do quite nicely. Just remember to catch anyone who flies up!"

The Professor distributed feathers among the students as Lizzie and Lexi pushed their desks up to Lily's.

"Our first charm already!" Lizzie said excitedly. "I thought we'd get a few lectures in before we could do anything!"

"Yeah," Lily said. "So did I."

"I'll go first!" Lexi volunteered, grabbing her wand and raising her arm. Imitating the Professor she flicked her wrist, haltingly reading the words off the board. "Wingarbium Leviosa!" The feather sank through the desk.

Lily, Lexi, and Lizzie all stared wide-eyed at each other.

"Lexi!" Lizzie hissed. "What did you do?"

"I didn't mean to!" Lexi protested. She peered under the desk at the floor. There was no feather.

She craned her neck and looked at the bottom of the desk and saw a feather pressed into the wood.

She came back up and smoothed her hair. "Nothing happened. Lizzie, it's your turn."

"Okay," Lizzie said. She picked up her wand and gave it a few practice flicks. "Wingardium Leviosa!" The feather jiggled but didn't move otherwise.

"Darn it," Lizzie said, wrinkling her nose.

"Your turn, Lily!" Lexi said, eager to go again.

"Do you want to have another go at it Lexi?" Lily asked.

"No, it's your turn," Lexi said, pushing a feather towards Lily. "Go on!"

"Right."

Lily gripped her wand until her knuckles turned white. She swallowed and flicked her wrist. Her voice trembling, she said, "Wingardium Leviosa."

The feather didn't move.

"Good try!" Lexi said. "My turn!"

"No, look!" Lizzie said, smiling. Lily's feather was slowly, uncertainly, rising up.

"Ah, someone with a natural affinity for Charms!" Professor Flitwick said excitedly. "Try it with a bit more confidence next time--Charms react to feelings."

"Thanks; I'll try that," Lily said, flushing.

"Try it again!" Lexi urged. "Only this time be confident! You heard the Professor."

"Okay," Lily said. Charms wasn't as bad she thought! She hadn't turned into a cricket, had she? She flicked her wrist and repeated the spell.

Behind her, Sirius playfully shoved James as he, too, flicked his wrist and spoke the spell. James' spell, thrown off by the shove, didn't hit the feather. Instead, along with her feather, Lily shot straight up to the vaulted ceiling.

Sirius's jaw fell as the class silently looked up at Lily, who was holding a beam for dear life.

"Whoops," James said.

"Good heavens, boy, watch your aim!" Professor Flitwick sputtered, springing to James. "Let her go and I'll catch her."

"Let her go?" James repeated, confused.

"With the wand! Break contact with the wand!" the Professor explained, exasperated.

"Right," James said. He looked at his wand, which was pointing towards Lily, and moved it so that it pointed straight down.

Lily let out another piercing scream as she slipped from the beam and fell straight downwards. Suddenly, she was floating as softly as the feather beside her and landed gently on the ground.

"Are you okay?" The Professor asked, hurrying over. "The Feather Charm helped?"

"Yes, I'm quite all right," Lily said, flushing scarlet and pushing her hair behind her ears. When the Professor turned away, she sent a murderous glare towards James. He shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

"Be careful of your aim, students!" Professor Flitwick said loudly. "Class is dismissed!"

Lily gathered her things and left as quickly as possible, with Lexi and Lizzie trailing behind.

"Are you all right?" Lizzie asked, looking worried. "It was really high up there..."

"Don't remind me," Lily moaned. "I'm terrified of heights. That's why I was closing my eyes."

On the other end of the hall, Sirius threw an arm around James' shoulders. "Congratulations, old pal!" He said gallantly to James's scowl. "You just successfully performed your first charm!"

"Thanks to you, it was a smashing success," James said sarcastically.

"Well think of it this way," Remus started. "With a little practice and control, you could levitate anyone, anytime, anywhere."

James and Sirius grinned widely at him. "Good point, old boy," James said mischievously. "Good point."

* * *

"Welcome to Potions," A short and slightly plump brunette said, sweeping into the room. Dropping books onto her desk, she beamed at the class, revealing a perfectly white smile and rosy cheeks. "I'm Professor Bandworth. We'll begin by taking roll."

The students obediently recited "Here!" until the Professor reached "James Potter!"

"Absent," He said loudly.

Remus snickered.

Professor Bandworth raised her eyebrows.

"I mean present," James said, flashing her a brilliant smile.

"That's what I thought," Bandworth said before addressing the entire class. "One of the first things you will quickly notice is that you will always be working with at least one partner. Unfortunately, there is not enough space in this dungeon to work alone, as the other is being searched for lumpwags."

Students whispered excitedly, grabbing arms of new friends.

"The second thing you will notice is that I choose the groups."

The class fell silent.

"The groups are chosen at random. I trust you will all be able to work as a successful team no matter who you are paired with," Professor Bandworth nodded decisively. "Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, I'll read off the group parings. Lindsay Nelson, Zachary Gates. Stacey Monahan, Carl Junker. Sirius Black, Elizabeth Bell-"

Lizzie looked despairingly at her sister before turning her gaze to Sirius. He winked cheekily at her. She moaned.

"-Severus Snape, Hannah Brewster. Alexia Bell, Remus Lupin-"

Lexi kept her gaze straight ahead, only allowing herself to react by pursing her lips.

"-Lily Evans and James Potter."

Lily and James' jaws dropped.

"How could I have gotten paired up with him?" Lily hissed to Lexi and Lizzie.

"Of all the luck..."James grumbled. "I get stuck with the girl I levitated."

"I'll write out the instructions on the board," the Professor continued. "Set up your supplies and start working!"

Lily dragged her feet to James' workstation. "Hello, Potter," She said sourly.

James nodded, trying to remember her last name. "Erics," He said.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "It's Evans."

"Right. Evans," James said, slightly embarrassed. "Let's get to it then, shall we?"

Still miffed about floating in Charms class, Lily said nothing but went to the front of the room with the rest of the crowd of students to get potions ingredients.

While she was gone, James read the instructions off of the board. "A Shrinking Potion is made of the following," He read. "1 dried caterpillar, 5 chopped daisy roots, 1 splash leech juice, 1 rat spleen, 1 shrivelfig. Sounds easy enough to me!"

"Did you write it down?" Lily asked, dropping the ingredients on the desk.

"No," James answered, reaching for the rat spleen.

"Well write it!" Lily said, pushing his hand away. "While I chop the daisy roots."

"Right." James selected a quill, dipped it in ink, and wrote down the ingredients from memory.

Shrinking Potion :

"Why don't you powder the caterpillar?" Lily suggested, still chopping roots.

"Okay," James agreed. Time passed in silence as the rest of the class chattered.

James looked over at Sirius as he heard his friend burst into laughter.

"Oh come on, it's just a rat spleen," Sirius teased.

Lizzie made a disgusted face. "Gross!" Lizzie stuck out her tongue. "It's dripping green stuff!"

Sirius brought it closer to her face before she hit his hand, forcing Sirius to drop it into the potion.

"Spoilsport," Sirius accused, tugging one of Lizzie's curls.

James rolled his eyes. Sirius was always joking around when things were supposed to be serious.

"Ready with the caterpillar?" Lily asked, trying to keep her sentences as short as possible.

"Ready!" James chirped. He poured in the powder. Lily stirred her daisy roots in, leaving James to search for the flask of leech juice.

"Gross," James said, plugging his nose as he uncapped the flask. He poured in the entire flask and recapped it.

"Okay," Lily said. "Now we have the rat spleens." She looked at James and smiled sweetly.

"Oh no you don't!" James grinned. "I know that face. It's your turn."

Lily grabbed the jar of rat spleens and extracted two with the tips of her fingers and hurriedly dropped them into the potion. "There," she said with some relief.

She stirred the potion while James fidgeted.

"Um, Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry about Charms."

Lily blinked. "It's all right," She said. "I'm a little afraid of heights, so I guess I overreacted." It was his first Charm, after all, she reminded herself. "And the Potion should be done."

Lily gave it a final stir and stood up as James came to peer into the cauldron.

"What is that?" James asked, pointing at something rising in the middle of the potion.

Lily squinted at it. "Is it a bubble?" She asked.

"Will it break?" James asked.

As they stared at each other with wide eyes, the bubble burst.

Lily screamed as drops of liquid hit her arms as she tried to protect her face. James furiously wiped a glob of potion off of his cheek and nose. It seemed to be absorbing into his skin!

"James!" Lily shrieked. "You're GREEN!"

"What?" James demanded. "I'm what?!"

Lily dove into her bag and pulled out a hand sized mirror. James peered into it and was shocked. His nose and cheek--where the potion had landed--was a neon green.

"My arms!" Lily moaned. "They look like they have fungus!"

Professor Bandworth hurried over. "Oh dear," She said, looking over the two students. "What happened here?"

"I don't know," James explained. "I wrote down the ingredients but it came out all wrong."

The Professor picked up his parchment and read over what he had written. "You wrote down the ingredients incorrectly," She said. "And did you remember to stir clockwise?"

Lily and James glared accusingly at each other.

"I suppose we'd best get you off to the hospital wing then. Run along, I'll clean your area."

"You wrote down the ingredients wrong?" Lily hissed as soon as they were out of view of class. "Good God, Potter, can you do anything right?"

"Well I wasn't the one who stirred counterclockwise!" James said angrily. "So I wouldn't go thinking it was my fault, Evans!"

"What, do you think stirring the wrong way would affect a potion as much as putting in the wrong ingredients?"

"Yes!"

"Well you wouldn't know, would you, Potter?"

"Shove off, Evans."

"You shove off!"

Lily pushed James into the wall and ran up the stairs to the infirmary.

James picked himself up and glared at her fleeing form. "Stupid girl," He said to himself. "The infirmary's downstairs."

* * *

Lily spent her lunch hour finding her way back downstairs and to the infirmary, directed by the portraits on the wall who were only too happy to help once they stopped laughing.

Lily pulled out her schedule and looked up her next class. "Herbology," She read. "Taught by Professor Malloren in Greenhouse 1."

Tucking the schedule back into her bag, Lily made her way to Greenhouse 1, careful to read the signs posted on the Greenhouses before entering to make sure she was in the right building.

"Lily!"

Lily turned to see Lizzie and Lexi standing at the opposite end of the greenhouse.

"Finally found the infirmary?" James said.

Lily held up her head and walked past him as Sirius and Remus smothered their snickering.

"Hi Lexi! Hi Lizzie," Lily said, smiling. "I can't wait for this class to start! My mother loves to garden, it would be fun to-"

"This class is not muggle gardening, I can assure you."

Lily jumped and turned to face a Professor with long black hair that fell in curls to her lower back. She had large violet eyes framed in thick black lashes and creamy brown skin. Her mouth was curved into a smile that made every boy in the room fall into silence.

"I am Professor Malloren," she said. "And contrary to what this student has just said, Herbology is not gardening."

Professor Malloren turned her gaze back to Lily. "What's your name and House?"

"Lily Evans. I'm a Gryffindor," Lily said proudly.

"A Gryffindor," Professor Malloren smirked. "Of course. Five points from Gryffindor for your ignorance."

Lily's jaw dropped.

"That's not fair," Lizzie protested.

"I assume you're a Gryffindor as well," the Professor said. "Five more points from your house."

Lizzie pouted.

"Geez, was she a Slytherin or something?" Sirius muttered.

"As a matter of fact, Mr. Black, I'm the Head of Slytherin House," the Professor haughtily informed him. "Five more points from Gryffindor for your cheek."

The Gryffindors looked around at each other and bit their tongues to keep from saying anything more.

"Now that we've dealt with Gryffindor impudence," the Professor said, making the Slytherins snickers, gather around this table to observe the proper way to feed a Jupiter Fly Trap."

A shy Gryffindor girl raised her hand. "I thought they were Venus Fly Traps," She said softly.

"Muggle born, are you," the Professor said rather than asked. "Jupiter Fly Traps are the next step up; much too dangerous for muggles. Now, as I was saying..."

James, Sirius, and Remus watched with little interest as the Professor took a pinch of food from a jar, forced open the plant's mouth, held it open, and shoved the food down its throat.

"You will need three people to accomplish this," the Professor said. "I don't think I need to tell you to watch your hands."

James, Sirius, and Remus quickly grabbed a more docile-looking plant and positioned themselves around it.

"Vinnie?" James asked incredulously, eyeing the name scripted on the front of the pot. "Since when do people name their Jupiter Fly Traps?"

"Since she was born," Remus nodded towards their teacher.

"She's gorgeous," Sirius commented. "Too bad she's a Slytherin."

All three nodded solemnly, fixing their eyes upon the Professor.

"Okay, let's all grab food and stuff it down its throat," Sirius suggested, reaching his arm to the plant.

"Sirius you'll get your arm eaten," Remus knocked his hand out of the plant's reach.

"Sirius, grab its stem so it won't wiggle, I'll force the mouth open, and you feed it, James."

"Sir, yes sir!" Sirius saluted.

"Go!"

The three descended on the plant and James managed to force some food down its throat.

The plant made a growling noise and tried to snap at them as soon as Remus let go of its mouth.

"Haha, can't get us from there!" Sirius taunted, sticking his tongue out at the plant.

"Let's switch positions," James suggested. "I'll hold the mouth, Remus, you get the stem, and Sirius can put in the food."

"Sure," Remus agreed.

"Great!" Sirius grinned.

Once again, the three approached the plant. Remus and James immediately grabbed the plant Sirius stuck its hand down the poor plant's throat.

"Ouch!" James yelped as he was cut by the plant's teeth. He let go of Vinnie's mouth. Vinnie snapped his jaws ominously and clamped down on Sirius' arm.

"Ah!" He cried. "Leggo! Leggo, you stupid Jup--er, Vinnie!"

"James!" Remus said shortly, trying to pull Sirius out of Vinnie's grasp. "Why'd you let go?"

"It bit me," James said, still shocked.

"What is going on here?" Professor Malloren demanded, looking very cross.

"Well, um, Professor," Remus started. "Vinnie's trying to eat Sirius.

"I can see that," the Professor snapped. She looked at Vinnie and her expression softened. "Vinnie," She gently scolded. "You know better."

Vinnie sullenly let go of Sirius' arm, straining towards Professor Malloren.

"I can see my work is cut out for me," Malloren said, eyeing Sirius. "Class is dismissed."

Sirius walked dignifiedly out of class. Once clear of the Greenhouse, he flung his bag into the air, raining books and parchment onto the ground, gave a great whoop, and ran around Remus and James.

"Transfiguration!" He yelled. "We get to turn each other into strange things!"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Is this what he's like when he eats too many sugar quills?" He asked James.

James grinned. "Not even close."

James and Remus picked up Sirius' things and followed him into the Transfiguration room.

"Let's sit in front!" Sirius said excitedly.

"No, the back," James said. "That way we can goof off and she won't see."

"Teachers always pay attention to the back because of that!" Sirius countered. "The front is obviously better."

"She can see us just even better in the front, genius, we'll be right in front of her!" James shot back.

"How about the middle?" Remus suggested. "If what you both said is true, then we'll be invisible in the middle."

Comprehension dawned on James and Sirius' faces.

Sirius slung an arm around Remus' shoulders. "Remus, old pal, have I ever told you how glad I am that you're our friend?"

"Only twice," Remus laughed, setting his stuff down on a desk.

"Well, Remus, I'm glad you're our friend!"

"Touching," Professor McGonagall said, walking in. "But please take your seats."

The class sat down, rummaging in their bags for parchment and quills.

"If you forgot, I am Professor McGonagall," The stern witch said. "It is my job to oversee your training in the art of Transfiguration."

With a flick of her wand, her desk was suddenly a giraffe. It hit its head on the ceiling and, with another wand flick, shrank back down to a desk.

"Whoa!" James said, gripping his wand. "I can't wait until-"

"It will take years for you to get to that level," the Professor continued as if nothing had happened.

James sighed.

"But today I will get you started on turning matchsticks into needles. If you'll direct your attention to the board..."

Lily sighed and leaned her head on her hand. This class was going by so slowly!

She glanced at the watch on her wrist. Sure, the giraffe bit had been exciting, but note-taking was not what Lily had expected the class to consist of. Idly twirling her wand in her fingers, Lily deftly caught the note lobbed her way from Lizzie when McGonagall's back was turned.

Lils and Liz-

Isn't this class mondo-boring? I can't wait until it ends. Thank God this is the last class!

-Lexi

Tell me about it! Can't we get started with the matchsticks-to-needles instead of taking all of these notes?

-Lizzie

"Any volunteers?" McGonagall asked as Lily read the note.

James, although bored out of his mind, was quick to spot a golden opportunity. He stared at Remus until Remus looked his way and then looked at Lily.

Lily sat, reading something on her desk, and twirling her wand between her fingers. She was obviously pay no attention whatsoever.

Under his desk, Remus pointed his wand at Lily's, flicked his wrist, and whispered, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

The wand slowly began to levitate. Remus cursed himself for not having enough strength in his Charm, but soon forgot about that detail. As the wand lifted, Lily followed it with her hand.

"Miss Evans?" Professor McGonagall said.

Lily's head snapped up. Wide-eyed, she looked from the Professor, to her wand and hand stretched in the air, to the Professor again.

"I-I," Lily stammered.

"Don't be shy, come to the front," McGonagall directed.

Lily slowly stood and Remus broke the Charm by moving his wand.

Slowly, she approached the front of the classroom.

"Just do it like I explained," Professor McGonagall said.

Lily bit her lip. She hadn't been paying any attention!

James, Sirius, and Remus shook with silent laughter as Lily obviously panicked.

Swallowing, she raised her wand, squeezed her eyes shut, and began to improvise.