To Seduce a Serpent - The Diary of Pansy Parkinson

December 1997
The Room that is so utterly perfect in Malfoy Manor

So, between the grey silk sheets of my overstuffed mattress that rests on the oversized bed, I had a wonderful night's sleep. In all seriousness, I could get used to living this life so easily. I slipped out of bed without a snag, my pajamas gliding easily along the silk sheets I was raving about before. I dressed and went down to breakfast, where I had the best pancakes I've ever eaten served by house elves that appeared whenever you needed syrup.

Once again, I could easily get used to living this life.

Draco and I snuck off to the upstairs library, and he lit a roaring fire in the fireplace, and we snuggled up on the couch. He smells so amazing, and I was utterly giddy, almost unable to contain the schoolgirl like giggles swelling in my chest.

"What are you thinking about doing after school?" he asked, tossing a blanket over me.

I snuggled into it. Cashmere. I smiled. "I don't know yet. I was thinking about travelling a bit; you know, seeing Paris and Milan before I settle down for a job." I wrinkled my nose. It was no secret that I had zero work effort. "Just enjoying myself before work overtakes my life. What about you?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure yet. I thought about travelling too, but I don't have any really serious plans yet."

I could feel there was something he wanted to ask me. "I see," I replied calmly, trying to keep my wits about me as I imagined what it was. Maybe he wanted me to travel with him?

He looked into the fire and smiled. "Maybe we could go see the world together. You know, when all's said and done."

My insides exploded with joy. "Yes!" I exclaimed, a little too loudly. He stared at me strangely, but I could see a playful smirk playing across his lips. "Oh, you know what I mean!" I giggled and snuggled closer to him.

He wrapped his arms around me and we just sat there for a while. Sure, after about ten minutes, there was an obligatory fabulous snog session, not that I objected. Things got pretty intense, and I enjoyed it immensely.

After spending a glorious hour wrapped up in each other, Draco proceeded to give me the grand tour, which included twenty bedrooms, fifteen bathrooms, a grand ballroom, a not-so-grand ballroom that was still grand in its own charming way, three formal sitting rooms, two informal sitting rooms, three dining rooms, two libraries and the kitchen. He explained all the rooms to me, and while that sounds incredibly boring, I was incredibly fascinated. Unlike my pathetic excuse for a house, there's history and character in every nook, cranny and imperfection. It's possibly the most fascinating house ever, and let me say it is very rare something gets my attention and keeps it for as long as this house did.

There was also the fact that Draco looked absolutely edible in that shirt I bought him for his birthday two years ago.

We went down to dinner; it was just us since his parents had some function to attend. It was almost like being married, as he sat at one end of the long table and I sat at the other end. We chatted pleasantly and passed the salt and pepper back and forth, just like I imagine his parents do when he's at school.

Suddenly, he jumped up and pushed the candlestick holder to the side. He took my hand and backed me up against the side of the table. I jumped up on it eagerly, and he proceeded to snog me on the formal dining room table.

I can't lie; if that's what being married is like, I cannot wait to get married.

Love,
Pansy, Queen of the Dining Room Table(s)

PS- The pastries tonight were delicious, in case you were wondering.

Later...

The closer Christmas comes, the more nervous I get. Other than that, I've died and gone to heaven, dear diary. Of course, you already know that.

Mother wrote to me, and I burned the letter without even looking at it. Perhaps I am finally escaping her hellish grip. Even though I seriously contemplated opening it as I stared at her freakishly small handwriting, in the end, I threw it away and I was very proud of myself for it.

Back to my holiday nervousness...

Draco asked me home with him, which means he is obviously emotionally invested in this relationship. After all, he told me I was the first girl he'd ever asked home, so that's got to mean something, right? I mean, you don't ask girls you're not serious about home to snog madly on dining room tables, do you?

And when he opens the gift I got him for Christmas, he's going to think I'm not as emotionally invested as he is, which is totally not true.

All this thinking has made me extremely stressed and hungry, therefore I will go down to the kitchen and find me something delicious to make me forget my many predicaments. After all, the house elves do make ridiculously fantastic pastries.

-Ten Minutes Later-

The house elves love me. They excitedly piled a plate full of lemon tarts, small slices of pound cake and strawberries with whipped cream piled on top.

If you can't imagine, I am truly in heaven.

As to not spill my wonderful food onto you, I will close tonight, again.

Love,
Pansy, who is too preoccupied with her treats to close properly

December 1997
Atop my silken sheets, which lie atop my fabulously comfortable bed

I had to push Draco off me this morning, as he spent the night last night. We fooled around a bit last night, but we didn't... you know, and we probably won't for awhile.

It really doesn't help that he thinks we did that one night when I accidently molested him while he was inebriated.

Lucky for me, he hasn't tried to push me into something I don't want to do. It's not like I don't want to, but I want to wait until the time is right.

And by the right time, I mean the time when I have a 14 carat ring on my finger that's so glamorous, it glitters in the dark. It's not that I'm materialistic (well, I am, but only a wee, little bit); I just want a commitment. A serious, long term commitment.

And what else screams commitment like a 14 carat ring, I ask you?

Nothing is the answer.

Alas, Draco stirs. I must quickly shove you under my mattress, which is not an easy feat considering he's practically lying on top of me.

Love,
Pansy, the Queen with 'Glitter-in-the-Dark' Jewelry

December 1997
The second floor Library

I received this letter from Daphne today.

My Darling Pansy,

As I am still incredibly furious with you, I will make this short. Theodore and I are having an absolutely SMASHING time playing house here, and despite the fact I said I'd never get married, I could absolutely marry Theodore and I will, mark my words.

He doesn't know it yet, but we're going to get married this summer. I set a date and everything. This way, all he has to do is show up. I figure I can jump out from behind a huge planter in my gown and yell surprise loudly, knock him backwards and give him a concussion. He won't realize what he's doing; I'll get the wedding of my dreams, and it will be a complete win-win situation for all involved.

Well, time for our daily shag session. Today's session is taking place on the kitchen table, and I don't want to be late. I knew you wouldn't want to hear about it, so I made a point to include it in my letter.

Love,
The still furious Daphne

PS. I'll have you know I've had no need for your snow boots, thank you very much.

So, as I scrub viciously at my eyes to rid myself of the scarring image of Daphne and Nott procreating on a kitchen table that's probably so old it creaks under their combined weight, I wish you good day.

If you don't hear from me again, I've gone blind or died of soap poisoning.

Love,
Pansy, the first Queen to suffer from Blindness induced by rose-scented soap

December 1997
My lovely room

My letter to Daphne goes as follows:

Dear Disgusting Daphne,

As you are probably amazed by my witty use of alliteration, I wish to tell you the escapades of you and your unwitting fiancé/husband have caused me to go blind. I kid you not, I scrubbed at my eyes so viciously with the lovely rose-scented soap they have here, and it blinded me.

Therefore, I can at least come to your wedding since the sight of you kissing Nott cannot blind me if I'm already blind, so there is actually something good that came out of this tragedy.

I'll also have you know that your marriage plan lacks a crucial element.

Me, of course!

Love,
Pansy, Princess of Perfectly Perfect Alliteration

PS. The snow boots were a thoughtful gift, thank YOU very much.

Sometimes, my wit astounds even myself.

She responded, and it was short, sweet and to the point.

Perfectly Imperfect Pansy,

Go to hell.

Love,
Darling and Devastatingly Delicious (According to Theodore) Daphne

PS. Take that alliteration and shove it!

I must admit, she's good. I didn't respond so I wouldn't sink to her level.

And I could think of no more alliteration. Shame.

Love,
Pansy, Queen that perches on a higher pedestal than Daphne the Disgusting

December 1997
First Floor Library

Mother sent another letter, but I burned it again. Less hesitation, but it was still there. It's abnormal when Mother writes me twice, and it made me think maybe something was going on, but I'm happy. I'm really, really happy and all Mother does is rain on my parade. Therefore, I pitched it into the fire.

Draco and I frequented our new favorite snogging spot, the coat closet on the first floor. It may be a closet, but it's a closet the size of a small room, therefore it is large enough to comfortably snog a person for a good twenty minutes.

We're sneaking around like randy teenagers (which we are) and I'm secretly enjoying it. The thrill of his mother walking in and catching me corrupting her only son makes it so much better. I, of course, choose to ignore the fact she might kill me in my sleep or tell the house elves to slip poison into the pastries that I frequent while everyone else is asleep. Of course, she could just strangle me with her bare hands, but her hands are rather small, so that may be out of the question.

Of course, I wouldn't put anything past her.

Draco's been sleeping in my room for the past couple of days, and let me tell you, it's a truly lovely feeling to wake up next to someone you love.

I can't believe I just used the 'L' word, but it's true.

I, Pansy Parkinson, love Draco Malfoy.

Love,
Pansy, Your Lovely, In-Love Queen