To Seduce a Serpent - The Diary of Pansy Parkinson

November 1997

My Dorm

Bloody fantastic news.

Well, a bit of a back story first: after my disastrous incident with a naked, inebriated Draco, he insisted on taking me to Hogsmeade. "A proper date," he whispered, winking at me. For once, I didn't blush. Well, at least, not much.

So we went to lunch at the Three Broomsticks. He pulled my chair out for me and was completely charming. He didn't try a single thing, and it kind of scared me. I liked him better when he was a bit (note: a miniscule bit) lewd, especially when he had some offhanded comment about my knickers. It told me he was paying attention. Does that make me sound-- risqué?

So, back to lunch...

He was telling me about his summer, and how nice his summer home is. "Maybe we could go there sometime," he added, taking his napkin off his lap and draping it across his now empty plate.

I smiled. "I think that would be very nice."

Cue awkward silence. "This is a little awkward," I began after taking a sip of my Butterbeer.

"Aren't all first dates?" he retorted, smiling at me. It was one of the few times I've ever seen him smile, and it was a nice change. Although, I must admit, the smirk is hotter. "I meant what I said last night," he added, his voice becoming quieter.

I opened my mouth to respond, but the waiter came with the bill. I kept quiet as he paid, and we left. He opened the door for me, and we walked down the street in silence. "So what does this mean?" I blurted out. I was dying to know what he really thought, even though I figured I had a pretty good idea.

He looked over at me. "What do you think it means."

"I asked you first." Immature? Yes, but I was damn curious.

"Well, I'd say it means were official. After all," he added, wiggling his eyebrows, "I don't think it gets much more official than last night."

I probably should mention I never fessed up about the whole 'we-didn't-ACTUALLY-sleep-together' thing. But, what Draco doesn't know won't hurt him any. Right? "That is true," I lied, looking down at my feet. Suddenly, I felt this... guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I, Pansy Parkinson, do not feel guilty. Ever. Well, sometimes I do, but it's not usually this horrible!

The rest of the date passed with only a few words passing between us. When we reached the carriages to go back, however, things changed.

He opened the door for me, his hand 'accidentally' brushing my posterior as I climbed the steps. No one else was in there, so as it started to move, Draco tried out some of his.

First, he dropped his arm around my shoulder. His hand brushed my shoulder, and suddenly, it began moving south. I looked at him, and he looked back at me and smirked. I shifted, and in the brief moment my arm left my side, Draco's hand slipped in between, brushing my side. His hand was awfully close to a part of my anatomy I do not enjoy talking about. His smirk grew, and he became incredibly bold.

Well, two can play at that game.

I smiled innocently and gently ran my fingers up his thigh. My nails made a slight scratching noise on his pants as I ran them up and down. I bit my lip and rose, throwing on of my legs over him and sitting back on his knees.

"Just can't resist me, can you?" he asked, his voice getting deeper. He ran his hands up my legs and toyed with the end of my, well, Daphne's, skirt. "Well, go ahead. Give into your primal desires and rip off my clothes." He leaned back and folded his arms behind his head. "I'll just watch."

I smiled and gently loosened his tie before running my fingers through his hair. Luckily, he lightened up on the gel or else I'd never be able to move it. I scratched his scalp a bit, and he closed his eyes and let his head fall back. I smiled and leaned in, pulling his head up and kissing him.

It was our first real kiss. It wasn't hot and fiery, like I imagined it would be. It was slow and soft, two words I'd never have thought to associate with Draco. He cupped my bum and pulled me closer, and I felt like I was spiraling down. The world was spinning and I was falling.

The carriage stopped abruptly, sending me flying forward onto the ground. Draco offered me and hand and pulled me up. I stood over him, feeling the same spiraling feeling I'd felt moments before. He stood up, and we left.

He walked me to the common room, and kissed me briefly before saying something about research for a paper. I bit my lip and nodded. Once he was out of sight, I ran upstairs, dove on my bed and found you.

Oh wow, I really hope I don't screw this up.

Love,

Pansy, Queen of all Things Spiral-y

November, 1997

Potions

Snape hasn't showed up yet, so I'll make this quick.

I've got more homework than I have hairs on my head.

I've started bursting into nervous giggles when I'm alone.

The mirror whistled at me again.

Daphne thinks she pregnant.

And I'm falling in love with Draco.

Love,

Pansy, Queen of Confusion

November, 1997

Great Hall, Study Period

Good and bad news.

Firstly, Daphne is not pregnant. We spent hours in the library trying to find some type of spell or potion to tell us whether she was or not. Nott even volunteered to help, but Daphne told him it'd be best if she and I did this alone. Before going off to do whatever it is he does when he's alone, he told her he'd stand by her no matter what.

I tried not to hurl.

We finally found a spell that someone else had to cast. Preferably the father, but considering Daphne didn't want him there, I did it. Of course, we had to do it in our dorms, but the test came back pink, meaning negative.

Thank Merlin, because the world does not need anymore Notts running around this green earth.

Daphne broke into a fit of giggles and fell back on her bed. "You cannot imagine my excitement!" she squealed, kicking her legs up in the air. "I hate kids!"

I couldn't help it. I bust out laughing. "How can you hate kids?" I asked, sitting on the edge of her bed. "You don't want any at all?"

"Oh, good Merlin, NO!" Daphne shouted, jumping up on the bed. "All they do is snot, shit and eat. Theo does that enough already." She threw her arms out and her head back. "I feel like a new woman! I've got to tell Theo."

She bounded off the bed and downstairs. Hopefully, they'll remember a contraceptive charm this time.

So, I'm sure you're wondering: With news like that, how can things be bad? One word:

Mother.

I received this lovely letter from her this morning. Draco wanted to know what it was and who it was from, but I hid it. No way in hell I was going to let him see what it said.

I hate that woman, I really do.

I realize that I should probably just ignore it. After all, what's the worst she's going to do, slap me? Pish posh, the woman couldn't break an egg with her bare hands. She does, however, have an iron fist when it comes to my emotional well being. She often guilts and coerces me into doing evil things. After all, when she put me on my starvation diet, she didn't lock up the food. She repeatedly made off hand comments that were extremely passive-aggressive. It got to the point where I wanted to stab her with a sharpened chicken bone.

I resisted, of course, and after I dropped a few sizes, Mother said, "See, Pansy. I did it for your own good."

She narrowly missed the sharpened chicken bone aimed for her throat.

Alas, dinner. I think I'll have some chicken...

Love,

Pansy, Queen of the Natives Who Fight with Sharpened Chicken Bones

November, 1997

Dorms, Way Past Curfew

I just returned from Draco's room. It's a nice room he has, I must admit. Lots of room for lots of things. And by things, I mean clothes.

The guy has so many clothes, it almost makes me wonder if he's secretly gay. Of course, it also has it's perks because I can take as many as I want, and he'd never, ever know. I took full advantage of this, as every good girlfriend should. Even Daphne has nicked quite a bit of Nott's clothing, despite the fact he doesn't have all that much to take in the first place.

So, after three undershirts, one trouser and boxer combination, one silk shirt and five handkerchiefs, I was ready to go. Not only were they amazingly soft, they smelled so amazingly good. Draco just... has this scent about him. I can describe it- woodsy and fresh like- but it does not do justice to the amazing smell.

We fooled around for quite awhile, nothing serious, just quite a bit of snogging and over-the-shirt feeling up. I must admit; it was lovely. In between the kissing and the touching, he told me about his life.

His father wants him to become a Death Eater to 'redeem the family name'. His mother is panicked about the whole thing. As an only child, he is doted on. I can honestly say, sometime I'm glad my mother is a heartless bitch. Doting would piss me off.

It was a little weird; talking about his mum while he was unbuttoning my shirt, but I've discovered he is truly a mum's boy. He's a lot different when were like this. Not in the public eye or around people he has to impress. I do truly enjoy this side of him; it's quite refreshing.

Another thing I discovered is that Draco Malfoy is a-- a breast man. It's quite embarrassing to write that, and as I'm sure all boys are, but I honestly don't know why boys are so excited when the get to touch a breast. I mean, all they do is bounce violently when you run, which hurts, swell and become very tender when you're on your period, which hurts even more and get constantly run into because they protrude from your chest, which hurts, but not as much as they do when you're on your period. All they do is cause pain to women, but they are an endless source of entertainment for men.

I really, really don't get it.

We lay side by side for awhile, staring up at his dark green canopy. I laced my fingers through his and sighed, quite content to just lay there with him. My heart swelled and I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that by doing that, the overwhelming feeling of love that just swallowed me whole would go away.

I'm so totally screwed.

So, after all the good stuff ended, I snuck out with an eighth of his wardrobe and back into my room. Mother would so not approve of this.

I shoved his clothes into my trunk and proceeded to fall on my bed in a fit of lovesick giggles.

Merlin, I am so screwed.

Love,

Pansy, Queen of Her Screwed, Screwed Heart

November, 1997

Great Hall, Study Period

Hallo, darling. This is Daphne. Pansy's hand is otherwise indisposed, as she slammed it in the loo doors yesterday. Madam Pomfrey healed it, but it's wrapped for 'safety precautions.' She just said she wouldn't write today, but someone has to fill your lovely pages, and who better to do it than Pansy's best friend, I ask you?

So, back to Pansy's hand...

So, we're in the loos and she's yacking about how Theo is completely bad for me. It's her favorite subject to bitch about, much to my dismay. You see, Theo is not as bad as she makes him sound. Not only is he extremely caring and a great conversationalist, he's marvelous in bed. And if anyone would know, I, Daphne Greengrass, would.

So, where was I? Oh yes, Pansy and her constant bitching...

Pansy's going in, and she leans her head out of the loo. I wasn't paying attention, I was writing a note to Theo. When Pansy realized I wasn't paying attention, she slammed the door as hard as she could. Right on her hand.

I had to practically carry her to the Hospital Wing, she was carrying on so bad. "Dammit, Daphne," she moaned, "if you would've just listened to me!"

Madame Pomfrey got it healed in a snap, and I told her to wrap it extra tight. You see, Poppy and I have a special relationship. I didn't get my period until I was 15, and being as my mother had never said anything about bleeding out of your freaking vagina, I was convinced I was dying of some freakishly disgusting disease. Poppy just laughed and told me I'd be okay. She gave me my first ever sex talk, and for that, I am ever grateful. She taught me all the contraceptive charms and even gave me brochures! Thanks to her, I'm never going to have to worry about being pregnant. She's like, the mother that was never emotionally distant and constantly sloshed that I never had.

I also come to her when I need advice. Pansy my be my best friend, but her advice sucks. Poppy, on the other hand, gives a very insightful opinion that has never failed me. She advised me on both Blaise and Theodore, agreeing that ending it with Blaise to be with Theo was a good idea. I told her to wrap the bandage tight because Pansy refused to see the light. Poppy nodded knowingly, understanding that the light in question was my obvious, slightly borderline obsessive, love for Theo. She wrapped the bandage tight.

Pansy squealed, my life was made, therefore, all was well.

So, after Pansy's broken hand, I decided to take over the diary writing and correct all the horrible lies about Theo.

Firstly, he is an amazingly supportive boyfriend. During the brief pregnancy scare last week, he held me and told me no matter what happened, he'd see that the baby and I were taken care of. He even wanted to cast the pregnancy spell, but I was too scared to let anyone but Pansy do it. Well, I wanted to do it myself, but as I couldn't, Pansy was the only other option.

Secondly, he's amazing in bed. Need I say more?

And thirdly, I went through hell to get him. I spent three years trying to get to at him. I've snogged almost every boy in the year above us, our year, and the year below us. I even sunk so low as to go after the Longbottom boy in Gryffindor in fifth year. It was a hallway ambush, and the poor kid was so shocked he didn't speak for a week.

Of course, my whole crusade could've went a lot smoother and quicker if I had known how much Theodore hated Blaise. I don't know why, and I might never know, but the two absolutely despise each other. The moment I started showing affection for Blaise, Theo finally snapped. After class one day, he pulled me aside and snogged the life out of me. I don't know where he learned this (and I'll kill the girl he learned it from if I ever find out), but he does this thing with his tongue that makes me weak in the knees.

Sure, we've hit some bumps, but from here on out, I'm predicting smooth sailing. Besides, if we hit any bumps, someone's head is being served to me on a platter.

And with that being said, I'm out! My daily snogging appointment with Theodore is approaching, and I do not want to be late.

Farewell,

Daphne, Queen of Theodore's Pants