Thinking Hurts

Thinking Hurts

Hermione thinks feelings are overrated.

She'll admit that she quite liked the fluttery feeling when Victor Krum had brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes at the Yule Ball, and the feeling of pride when Ginny ran up to her in the Common Room and announced that she was seeing Michael Corner, but she doesn't like the feelings she's come to associate with Harry and Ron.

She thinks it's not sensible to let worry for Harry's welfare overcome the practical side of levitating him down from a parapet halfway up the Astronomy Tower, and she thinks it's ridiculous that she was too relieved that he was all right to chastise him for leaving his wand in the Transfigurations classroom.

She thinks she treats Harry as Molly Weasley treats the twins - with some wariness, a large portion of fear, and a reluctant knowledge that they're all actually fully capable of looking after themselves.

She does think it's nice to be like Molly, though: her maternal instincts and protectiveness - if somewhat overwhelming - are a constant reassurance to those she cares about, and no one, not even Sirius Black, would change her for anything.

She thinks that these characteristics suit someone bustly and homey like Molly, though, and don't quite fit with her more practical and logical outlook on life, but she also thinks that her upbringing as an only child may bring out her more sisterly side, because her worry for her boys doesn't really feel unnatural.

She finds herself worrying about one more than the other most of the time, though: she knows that Harry is resilient and can handle his own problems, but Ron still can't even cast a basic memory charm without her supervision.

She thinks she treats Ron as Molly Weasley treats Arthur - with exasperated fondness and a caring that reaches beyond her bond with any of her other friends, even Harry.

She worries about this, though, because she thinks it's absolutely insane that she was so happy to see a grin on his face that she was barely even angry that it was there because he and Ginny had charmed her copy of 'Hogwarts, A History' to shout swear words whenever she turned a page.

She thinks it's scary for her to let her emotions overpower her thoughts, and doesn't like the lack of control (and morals) she has when she's absorbed in solving another argument, undoing another hex, or correcting - and rewriting, more often than not - another essay.

She also thinks Ron must be the most frustrating person she's ever met, because he doesn't understand anything about romance, and tells her it's 'stupid and sappy' when in fact it's all just simple logic, mostly, to interpret someone's feelings.

She's sure it's pointless to waste her time over someone so completely blind, but when Ron smiles shyly at her she thinks that all these feelings she has might be love, in which case he was actually right about it being stupid; when Ron takes her hand she thinks that it doesn't matter, anyway; and when Ron kisses her she finds herself unable to think any more.

~end~