My Own

Episode 4

Waiting

Draco felt his face burn as he lay at the feet of Severus Snape. Potions Masters, proficient in Legilimency and Occlumency, cunning spy, with razor sharp wit, and a death glare that made pink bunny slippers hide, to follow up. He was a bonafide bastard. The said bastard still smirked down at them.

"So," said Snape, with his arms crossed, "do you like wallowing in the dirt that covers the floor?"

Harry meeped. What the hell? thought Draco. Why the hell is he meeping? Draco looked at Harry. Draco and Severus were friends. Well, as friendly as one could get with Snape. Nevertheless, it was blatant that Severus and Harry weren't. They just had some sort of weird silent respect thing. Harry wasn't really afraid of Snape when they were students because he wasn't allowed to cast unfriendly spells on them. However, now that Harry was a grown man... Well, let's not think about what should happen if Severus's legendary temper flared.

Draco got up gracefully, while Harry tried vainly to get himself up the same way. Harry tried using his legs before his arms and got into some awkward position where he slipped and hit his chin hard on the floor. Draco glared at him, annoyed. It's just Snape.

"Draco," said Severus, as he broke into Draco's thoughts, "I think you should help your companion, who has lost all his brain functions that control his mobility. But most likely, he hasn't any brains to begin with."

Draco smiled at Severus. He picked a very embarrassed Harry up and rolled his eyes as Harry tried to fix his glasses back on his nose. He rubbed at the pink area on his chin. Draco resisted the urge to rub it for him. Harry's eyes darted sporadically around the dungeon and he nervously rocked on his heels. Draco jabbed him with his elbow.

"Huh? Oh!" said Harry haphazardly. "Hi, er, Professor Snape."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Apparently, your brain hasn't enough capacity to fuel your memory for you to remember that I am not your professor any longer. And thank Merlin for that!"

Draco chuckled as Harry looked at him darkly as though he were a traitor.

"And as much as it sickens me," said Snape, with his voice low, "you shall refer to me as Severus now. Only outside of business matters of course."

Harry nodded quickly. A little too quickly. "Yes, sir. Er, S-Severus."

"Only say my name when you are prepared to speak it properly... Harry."

Draco raised a faintly surprised eyebrow while Harry gaped. Draco rolled his eyes again.

"Right-o sir," replied Harry, as he saluted a slightly annoyed Severus.

"You fell in love with a fool," said Severus, as he eyed Harry with distaste.

"He needed someone to guide him around," said Draco causally. "Otherwise, he'd be bouncing off walls."

Draco loved to banter with his former head of house. They did it frequently in his seventh year. He used to come down here to the dungeons to Snape for advice sometimes. Severus may seem unapproachable, but if you do it right, he'll talk to you. The memories of the smell of old texts, liquor, and lavender came to mind. Draco didn't notice that Harry glared at them.

"I am not a fool," said Harry, with his arms crossed. "And if I am, then he is one too."

Draco wheeled around to face him. "How do you figure that, Potter?"

"Because," said Harry, then paused for effect, "only fools fall in love." Harry smirked triumphantly at Draco.

Draco scowled at him. Whatever, thought Draco as he turned around. He was shocked to meet an impressed Snape.

"Very observant, Potter," said Snape. "Then it seems you are indeed, a fool as well, Draco."

Draco felt his cheeks heat and glared at Harry again. He felt slight betrayal from his former Head of House.

"It seems your wit is rubbing off on him or else, he's stealing it," quipped the Potions Master.

"Whatever," said Draco, as he regained his dignity. "We were here to meet with a mediwizards."

Severus looked very amused as he looked at Draco. What's brewing his potions? thought Draco.

"When we are casually speaking, you will refer to me as Severus," said the elder wizard. "When we are conducting business, you will refer to me as Mr. Snape."

Huh?

"There's a private practice here." Draco looked at Severus and then Harry. "We were turned away because the other clinics were founded by and controlled by self-righteous, posh gits."

Severus put on a bland expressed and spoke flatly. "I am aware of a private practice here. I would know, since I operate it." Draco tried to stop his descending jaw. All in vain of course. "Another thing, I am well aware of all the egotistical, 'holier than thou' arseholes who run the clinics here in Europe as well. That's why I opened here."

"Why?" asked Harry curiously.

"Because I have the only place that accepts homosexual couples on the continent," replied Severus coolly.

Draco put his hand on hip and Severus raised his eyebrow again. "Don't you have classes to teach, papers to grade, and other stuff?"

Severus gave an indignant snort. "You don't think all I do is teach, grade, and brew potions, do you?"

Draco couldn't look him in the eye and say no, so he turned to Harry who already looked back at Draco. Draco already assumed the raven haired man turned away for the same reason. Draco glanced sheepishly at Severus.

"Merlin," said Severus irritably. "I do like other things than potions!"

His exclamation prompted the encouragements of "Yes, of course, Severus." from Draco and another "Right-o, sir!" from Harry. Severus scowled at them.

"Idiots," he muttered.

Draco could say he felt humiliated about the situation. He really did think that all Severus liked was potions. The man did have an eye for art and maybe a good book collection, but Draco thought that his heart lied in potions. Art and books. That's right! exclaimed Draco's mind. Next year for Severus's birthday, Draco wouldn't get him a recipe to an ancient highly dangerous potion to toy with, he'd get Severus something different. He felt a slight excitement at the possibility of surprising the man this year. Draco kept his expression bland though.

"All right," said Severus curtly. "Moving on. I don't have such a heavy workload now that I do not have to chase around after Mr. Potter. I have more free time than I had when you two were here. When the medical world first discovered this Gender Switching potion, it was right before Voldemort's second fall. The idiots that think of such things when there's a war going on." Severus shook his head and Draco smiled, and wondered whether Severus was the source of his constant muttering.

"Anyway," continued Severus, "they fined-tuned it a couple of years ago it because it is a very difficult potion to make. Even more difficult than making Wolfsbane and it was this that made it very expensive. Bloody Lupin taking advantage of my superb skills for free."

Draco looked at Harry to discover the Gryffindor battled a snicker. Draco battled his snicker far better than Harry did. Nevertheless, he still fought one. He carefully kept his expression mildly interested.

"It's a very dangerous concoction, I might add," rambled Severus, with his back turned to them.

Harry repeatedly mouthed the word 'cock' while he gestured lewdly. Draco shook his head at Harry's immaturity. Even though, now that the word cock was pointed out, it was kind of funny. Stop falling into Potter's foolishness! said a voice in his head that sounded very much like Severus's. Draco straightened himself and listened more intently, while he wished he'd never fallen in love with the perverted man that stood a little ways beside him.

"...the ingredients can be disastrous if mixed incorrectly. The side effects are few and minor. Thankfully, it isn't like the beta project it was years ago. Terrible side effects if brewed poorly." He looked pointedly at Harry, who positively sucked very much at potions. "Even death." He glared at the both of them and Draco knew that Severus's death glare would never lose its potency. "But being the skilled Potions Master that I am, you won't have to worry about that. Unless, you give me a reason to give you a faulty potion."

Draco chuckled nervously and didn't want to even dwell on the possibilities if that were true. Harry smiled weakly and looked a little pale to Draco. Draco knew he was white a sheet. Severus smiled at them grimly.

"Pomfrey assists me, along with a few other nurses," he said. "You'll need a thorough physical examination before undergoing the change. We don't want to have any media crowded funerals, do we?"

Harry glared at Severus and then smirked as he turned to look at Draco. "I'm not the one undergoing the change."

Severus now looked genuinely surprised. "What? Draco, you're actually going through with it?"

Draco nodded because he didn't trust his mouth to say the right things. Especially with Harry beaming smugly a few feet away.

"Merlin, help you, man," said Severus severely. "I don't think we have to discuss or make any bargaining on costs. I hear you sit loftily upon your Quidditch income, Potter."

Draco felt a surge of anger. "You know, he isn't the only one that works."

Another inquiring eyebrow. "I apologise, Draco. What is it you do again?"

"I am the CEO of Posh and Trendy," replied Draco haughtily. "I mingle with the stars. I make connections. In addition, I make things happen for people. Support charities. You know, the usual boring stuff." Draco knew his drawl wasn't missed, Severus knew better.

"Oh? So you two are partners in crime?" said Severus, business-like. He stood back and surveyed them. "Both of you are filthy fucking rich."

Draco stared. Severus rarely used vulgar language, unless he was enraged, passionate about something, or just plain impressed. It was obvious that he was impressed, and Draco knew it took a shit load of intelligence and charisma to impress Severus Snape. It was an honour. Harry suddenly grabbed his waist and pulled him tightly against his side.

"And lovin' every minute of it," said Harry proudly. Draco felt awkward in Harry's embrace while in such close proximity Severus.

Severus's lip curled in disgust. "I'd rather not see either of you displaying disgusting affection toward each other or anything for that matter. I know how you Gryffindors practically love, tree hug, and have feelings for everything." He turned suddenly and beckoned with a slight head jerk towards a door Draco hadn't noticed behind him.

"This is the examination room," said Severus, while he gestured to the door. "Here you will undress, completely," he smirked at Draco, "and answer all the questions our mediwitch has for you. And, you will answer truthfully."

He looked at Draco gravely. "Things can go wrong if the evaluation is full of rubbish. She will then perform tests to make sure your body is healthy. Afterwards a counsellor will come and discuss your decisions with you and the mediwitch. It is the standard here in Europe because of the circumstances of the transformation. Some aren't mentally prepared to take the plunge, you might say. Moving on to the costs."

Severus crossed his arms and eyed them both. "Assuming that you are perfectly healthy, the costs will be fifty-five thousand galleons."

Harry choked and Draco felt his mouth open somewhat. It seems The Wizard Medical Times weren't lying when they said prices were steep. Of course, being the Malfoy that he was, Draco was used to buying things that were expensive. It was their nature. However, it wasn't his nature so much after the war when he found himself, lost, cold, hungry, and homeless on the Weasleys' front steps. Oh no, he'd learned modesty and humility. However, his base personality would always love to spend and flaunt money. He just learned how to save and spend, thanks to the wonderful Molly Weasley. Everything would work out.

"Wow," breathed Harry, who had already had a fortune his parents saved for him before they died.

"Yes," said Severus, while he looked amused with Harry, "it is very expensive. However, my price is lot less than what those narrow-minded pillocks charge the heterosexual couples. "

He walked to his desk and pulled out a scroll of parchment. "This here," he said, as he held up the scroll, "is for you to sign. This form explains how you give permission to for us to retain any information you give out and to keep your information private. The other contract," another zoomed out of the desk drawer, "is for you to sign saying that we're not liable if anything happens to you. Plainly because you already knew all the side effects and whatnot."

Severus rolled his eyes and pulled out yet another piece of parchment. Merlin, Severus must have had a lot of lawyers on this, thought Draco, as he started to get bored with all the brown paper. Severus ignored his boredom. "This is a contract saying that when you agree to take the potion, if for some reason, before, after, or doing consummation the potion reacts or you react badly, the potion brewer has the right to give you the proper ingredients to try to neutralise the effect. It states that we are not liable as well."

Draco and Harry breathed a sigh of relief and started towards the doorway. Severus glared at them.

"Excuse me," he huffed, "but I am not finished."

Draco closed his mouth and forgot Harry didn't have the sense to. "You can't be serious. We're not going to sue you, Severus!" protested Harry.

"If I were anyone else looking to kill you," said Severus menacingly, "you both would be dead and conned out of your money. Listen to what I say because it is important, Mr. Potter. And, refer to me as Mr. Snape."

Harry glanced at Draco as though he were supposed to say something. What the hell am I supposed to say? thought Draco. He shrugged.

Severus obviously noted this little silent battle and had the grace to look amused. "It seems to me, Potter, that your inattentiveness was never limited to my class. How pathetic."

Harry stood eye to eye with Severus. "You didn't make class interesting and enjoyable enough to pay attention."

"Work and learning aren't supposed to be enjoyable!" snapped Severus, as his eyes flashed dangerously.

"Severus, ignore the sod and please continue," said Draco softly. He needed his charm and he needed it now. He would not have breasts growing out his back or something like that. Merlin.... "I was listening."

Severus looked doubtful at first, then continued. "This last one states that you have to attend counsel sessions with our counsellor every week for three months after you go through the transformation. Do not miss an appointment. It is for your mental stability. "

Draco rolled his eyes and before he could protest, Harry stilled his sarcastic reply with a firm grip on his arm. "Thank you, Mr. Snape. Will I be allowed to be with him whence the sessions start?"

Draco stared at Harry now. It was obvious he made an effort to calm the argument that would've stemmed between Draco and Severus. Harry knew how Draco felt about bloody psychiatrists and psychologists. Bloody leeches.

Why pay huge sums of money to have someone talk everything over with you that you know already? That's what friends are for. Like Granger.

Draco quietly pouted at how Harry always ruined his fun. Draco noted that Severus stared at Harry as well.

A black had eyebrow quirked. "I am astonished that you put that sentence together in such coherency. I have to admit, for once, I am impressed Mr. Potter," said Severus.

A smiled threatened to seize Harry's features for just a moment until Severus answered in his usual scathing tone.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, you will be able to attend sessions with Mr. Malfoy unless the counsellor advises against it. I have no doubt that you'll need the therapy more than Draco will. But then again, I could be slightly mistaken; you are both quite amply mad without the company of each other."

Harry smiled in spite of what should've been an insult. "Thank you, Mr. Snape."

Severus scowled and muttered something that sounded very much like, "Gryffindors."

*

After they read all of the forms, agreed on the terms, and signed them, Draco was a ball of nerves. He rocked on heels and fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve. He looked around and Harry seemed to be questioning Severus about terms of the contract. Harry questioned the reasons for all the laws and specific wordings, not about it being faulty. Draco noticed that strange extreme intelligence streak happening again. Harry wasn't stupid, but he wasn't Granger either. It just seemed to happen more often suddenly.

Draco decided he should take this free time to himself to think about things he had tucked away. Besides, it was a rare occurrence when Severus got engaged in a real conversation with someone. They would have to be worthy enough of course, and Harry could ramble until the sheep called home. Draco sat in one of Severus's favourite chairs and hoped the owner wouldn't notice. Severus could be frighteningly possessive, if provoked.

As Draco settled back in the wonderful chair, he thought. He wondered what Delinda was doing. Draco heard rumours of her literally going to every Applebee player's house ranting, threatening, and hexing. Draco knew Delinda would never do anything so public or foolish on purpose. He had to admit the woman was more than intelligent, she was devious as well. If she hadn't attended Durmstrang, she would've done well in Slytherin.

Most likely, she probably would've already been in the player's house in her best robes, sipping their most expensive wine, twirling her wand around in her fingers, and going through their personal things. Delinda wasn't to be reckoned with, she was quite a powerful witch. She knew how to find the grimiest dirt on anyone as well. Delinda would've threatened them so subtly, they couldn't really claim it as a threat but they would know her true intentions behind her words. He liked her but he still didn't trust her or her stepbrother.

Now that he thought about it, Draco remembered the time Harry was in the hospital after the attack. Delinda had somewhat hinted that Carlo was all over him but Draco dismissed it as her being her usual bitchy self. However, when Draco walked into the room and saw Carlo sleeping in an uncomfortable looking chair, he had thought just for the merest of seconds Delinda might be right. Nevertheless, he dismissed it again. Carlo was Harry's friend; of course, he would there. Carlo was the team captain, it only made sense.

However, when Harry woke up, Carlo looked at him like Draco did, and an alarm rung in Draco's head. Carlo looked very interested in Harry, more than interested, and Draco felt possessiveness, jealously, and deep down, insecurity. Maybe Carlo wasn't just the beer swigging, man handling, womanising prick, Draco always thought he was. Maybe Carlo had homosexual tendencies. That's what any self-respecting straight guy would call it. Whatever it was, Draco didn't like it and would delve more into Carlo's background. After all, he had connections. Why not use them?

Draco moved on to the next subject, which happened to be Ginny Weasley. Oh, right, Draco corrected himself. Ginny Tyler. Yes, the woman did seem quite smitten with Harry and Draco would've cursed her if it hadn't been for the number of witnesses and formidable brothers in the room. No doubt Harry would've been upset, but so what? The woman tried to move in on spoken for territory. It didn't help that she seemed to forget she was married whenever she was around Harry. That bothered Draco quite a bit. For someone to even forget that he or she had a spouse somewhere that loved them....

Well, Draco thought Ginny might as well be called an obsessed, red headed, jealous cow. Honestly, he knew she'd take it badly, since she'd been fawning over Harry since her first year, but this was a whole new level. Sometimes Draco felt that she thought that one day Harry would, per se, 'come to his senses'. That kind of infatuation could be dangerous. Draco leaned back to ponder it more when a very cold voice slashed through his thoughts.

"Mr. Malfoy," said Severus, as he stared intently at Draco, who wanted to be anywhere but sitting in that chair then, "what are you doing in my chair?"

Draco hastily jumped up and took two huge steps to the side well away from the chair. He looked at Severus apprehensively. "I was just resting my legs, is all. I've been on my feet all day." He smiled faintly and tried to induce humour into the situation.

Severus, however, didn't appear to notice the charm. "If your legs or feet were tired, I would've gladly taken them off." He smiled forbiddingly.

Draco was just about to think of something to say when Harry's laughter rang throughout the room. It was a clear youthful laugh and he shook so hard his glasses slipped to the end of his nose. Harry's eyes became enlarged and looked like big green emeralds as Draco looked through the lenses. He really does need to get a new style of glasses if he's going to continue wearing them, thought Draco. Severus had a slightly amused scowl. Severus Snape was the only man alive Draco knew of who could manage to look amused and annoyed at the same time. Snape was Snape. Draco fought the urge to suddenly shrug.

"We should just get on with it," said Draco sharply, as he glared at Harry. "I don't want to take up your time."

"Quite right," said Snape promptly. "Walk through the door and it will begin." He monumentally gestured to the door. That simple statement brought back Draco's nerves.

Suddenly, that door looked so far away. The changes of his future started when he walked through the door. The thought and door was very daunting but Draco squared his shoulders and held out his hand for Harry. Maybe it wasn't the most manliest thing to do, but so what? He was the one about to have a hole situated where there used to be a pole. If you were guy, you can't say that that wouldn't frighten you in the least. Not to mention breasts and an ass.

Harry started towards him when Severus said, "No, he goes alone."

Harry looked quizzically at Severus, as did Draco.

"Well, let's say some of the technicality of things that he'll have to listen to, you're better off hearing from him afterwards," replied Severus, as he looked disgusted with the very idea of technicalities. "They need to evaluate him as well, without your presence, just to make sure you don't influence him. Even though I doubt you hold much clout over Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter."

Harry didn't rise to the bait; he just rolled his eyes, which just annoyed Severus even more. Draco stood there and fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve again. He felt Harry urge him on and looked in Harry's direction just to find out he was right.

Draco walked the door and grasped the warm knob. Breathe, breathe, breathe, repeated Draco's mind. He turned to look at Harry and lost his composure. He flew at the bespectacled man. Draco kissed Harry roughly and hugged him tightly. Then Draco ran his fingers through Harry's unruly locks, as he stared lovingly into a bright green haze. Draco gave Harry another hard long kiss, without tongue, by the way, since Draco was too nervous to get any kinky thoughts. Draco ran to the door. He flung it open and quickly immersed himself in the sudden white light. He closed the door behind him.

~*~

If this wasn't awkward, Harry could tell anyone that they, apparently, haven't ever met Severus Snape. He sat alone with the man in his office, in one of his favourite chairs. They sipped their tea and ate cookies. (Not the juvenile way of course.) Snape seemed to value clean space as he carefully snapped the cookie in pieces to make sure there weren't any crumbs that would fall before consuming it.

Here he was, Harry Potter, saviour if of the wizarding world, having tea and cookies with Severus Snape, all around bastard, ex-Death Eater, and snarky Potions Master. The image was just absurd even as it happened. Harry felt unchecked hysteria build up in him; he wanted to giggle like a crowd of fourth year Ravenclaw girls. The silence was uncomfortable and tense, and Harry thought that was stupid when just mere minutes ago they were actually having a civil discussion on fertility rights and laws. Harry felt a surge of smugness and thought that Hermione would've been proud. Harry wasn't much of debater but Snape pushed him to it, and he'd proved to the man that he was more than just a courageous, tree hugging Gryffindor.

He now looked at Snape and ascertained that the man hadn't changed much since he last saw him the previous year at the Christmas party held at Hogwarts in the Great Hall. His hair was still greasy, his skin sallow, and his face thin. The only difference Harry could see was that his teeth were no longer crooked and yellow. That made Harry wonder and he didn't notice that he was staring at Snape. However, Snape did notice.

"What are you staring at?" he questioned, as he held a cookie.

Snape was holding a cookie. Harry felt that familiar feeling of giggles build up again. A cookie. As he tried to quell the giggles, he snorted instead.

"N-nothing," choked Harry, as the giggles finally made their presence known.

He knew he probably looked like a fool as he giggled like a girl. He fought to keep his glasses on his face and chanced a look up at Snape's expression. The man looked annoyed and slightly confused, but he still had a cookie in his hand. A new fit of laughter overtook Harry and he had to get up to move with his back facing Snape to try to stop it. Snape holding a chocolate chip cookie was like Harry falling off his broom. It was hilarious.

"What are you laughing at, Potter?" came a cold, scathing voice behind him.

Harry knew he had irritated the poor man whilst he laughed giddily like a twit, but it was hard not to laugh. Wait until I tell Draco, thought Harry happily. He took a deep breath and turned slowly around. Harry noticed that only half of the cookie was in Snape's hand and the other piece was most obviously in the man's mouth as he chewed. Another snort escaped Harry and he whirled around to catch himself before he dissolved into another fit of embarrassing giggles.

When he heard Snape swallow, he knew was in trouble, especially by the following sound of half a cookie being slammed down on the plate.

"What is so humorous that you cannot contain your foolishness?" asked Snape harshly.

Harry turned around, walked swiftly in front of the man, and spoke rapidly. "It's amusing to see you with a chocolate chip cookie in your hand." He'd rushed it out hoping it would soften the blow. Harry silently hoped that Draco wouldn't pay for his idiocy. Please don't let him poison Draco. Please don't let him poison Draco. Please don't let Draco kill me when he finds out.

Harry had stared at a rather interesting brick the while he prayed and chanted silently. He moved away from the man and continued to stare at the rather descriptive brick.

"Mr. Potter, I knew your intelligence was very sparse and immature, but this is really beyond my expectations. It's a wonder how your body matured past your mind, the world really should work the other way around so that standing before me would be an eleven-year-old boy in your stead."

Harry looked at him surprised. That was unexpected.

"However, we can't always get what we want." Snape snorted cynically and looked up at him. "You aren't the first one to find me eating anything sweet humorous, Minerva seems to find it amusing and entertaining, as does Flitwick and Sprout. It gets quite annoying, I am human you know. I'm starting to think Albus tempts me with lemon drops just to amuse the others."

Harry stared at him.

"You want to change the subject?" asked Snape reasonably.

Harry hastily nodded. Silence continued for a few seconds.

"I think now would be a good time to do it," said Snape, over his teacup.

Harry felt the hysteria again and wondered briefly if Draco put something in his ice cream while he wasn't looking. Today, he seemed to have a wide range of emotions today. He decided to talk about anything but cookies and teacups, he didn't even realise what he said next until after his brain processed it.

"So how did your teeth get all Lockharty?" asked Harry, as he rocked on his heels. He stopped in horror when he noticed what words came out his mouth.

I'm going to get Draco if he put something in my ice cream, Harry thought determinedly.

"Lockharty?" repeated Snape. "Merlin, Potter. Are you really making up your own words? Planning to write a bestseller like Lockhart did? It'll probably be called 'The Mighty Book of Potter'."

Suddenly, Harry noticed it had been him making thing tense. He was the one making uncomfortable silences. Snape kept making jokes to lighten the mood, well, jokes in a Snape-like way. No wonder Draco looked at me like a fool. Snape really is all right. At least somewhat.

Harry sat down on sofa opposite on Snape on the other end. He picked up a cookie. "No, I think I'll call mine 'The Adventures of The Golden Trio' instead. I know Ron and Hermione will help me write it," he replied with a grin.

"Yes, Albus's three favourite students," said Snape. "That ought to be sold out before stores even begin to open. Speaking of Ms. Granger, she expressed her opinion about my... Dental dilemma and convinced me to let her parents... 'Work their magic' I think was what she said. Ironic, considering they're Muggles. She had convinced them to do it pro bono much to my vexation. I have enough money saved up to do whatever I want with it. I am just not flamboyant like some idiots who drip jewellery."

Harry noted that Snape obviously liked to talk, even though he rarely did. The way Severus spoke reminded him faintly of Draco. Draco just spoke with more dramatics and flare. What was it about him and attraction to dangerous things? Harry shook his head.

"I know what you mean," said Harry conversationally. "I've lived most of my life in somewhat poverty. Well, that's the way the Dursleys treated me. I'm rich in the wizard world and in the Muggle one now. I had some of my galleons converted into Muggle money."

Harry sipped his tea and looked to find a very surprised looking Severus. "What?" he said ineloquently.

"They treated you what way?" said Snape, who had now set down his teacup on its matching saucer.

Harry noted kittens frolicked on the cup and the saucer and to his surprise his own. Probably a gift from McGonagall, thought Harry. He was about to snicker when he saw Severus's serious face. Oh, he really wants to know, thought Harry shocked.

He set his teacup down. "They hated that I was wizard, they treated me worse than Dobby was when he was at Malfoy Manner. They didn't like magic, thought it was unnatural and freakish. I didn't even know I was a wizard until Hagrid delivered my letter."

Snape now looked interested and got into comfortable position. Harry did the same, finding it strangely disconcerting that he was actually telling Snape about his family in the first place.

"Well, you see," said Harry, as he shifted on the comfy sofa. "I think it all started with my mum..."

*

Draco looked around the pristine room. It seemed that Severus never took on more than three people at a time because there were two other rooms other than his. The door had led to a bright hallway, and on the right were the patients rooms, and Draco guessed the rooms on the other side were for examinations, and equipment. A nurse showed in into his room where he undressed and put on hospital wear. They really must need to get some new fashion tips, thought Draco. Just because I'm about to be a woman doesn't mean I have to look like a man in a three-year-old's pyjamas.

A woman came in without looking up. She was dressed in pink robes and held a clipboard. She wore round glasses, which looked strangely like Harry's and Draco decided then that he would get Harry new spectacles because those made a very negative fashion statement. She had dull brown hair, a long straight nose, and a cleft chin. All around, she looked rather plain. Draco panicked suddenly. Olimpi's word's echoed in about being completely different. Am I going to look that plain?

"Are you all right?" asked the plain woman.

Draco was horrified at the thought not being at least a little pretty, even though he had no idea what he would look like as a female. "Peaches and cream." A favourite phrase since the time he heard one of his Muggle-born co-workers listening to the Muggle song.

"Great," said the plain woman brightly. Draco wondered how anyone could let themselves stay that plain. She didn't even wear lip-gloss. "Now, do you know where we can owl to get your medical records?"

Draco snorted. "Our family had a personal mediwizard. I haven't been in a real doctor's office since." Not unless you counted after the war when he was in the hospital wing.

"Well, what's his name so I can contact him?"

"Jargus Jarten. It won't do any good though."

"Why?" she asked, as she scribbled down the name, much to Draco's amusement.

"He's vacationing with good ole' Voldie in Hell."

She blinked at him.

Draco laughed.

~*~

"So there was once a time when Hogwarts was boycotted?" asked Harry, engrossed with the new conversation he was in with Severus.

They had moved from the Dursleys, to Harry's mother, to Muggle borns, to Dumbledore, then the previous headmaster before Dumbledore. Severus regaled him on the strong prejudice of the early forties and fifties.

"Yes," replied Severus, as he seemingly tried to restrain his enthusiasm. "There was a lot of prejudice at the time in both the Muggle and wizard world. Personally, I think most of it was ridiculously stupid. There were people upset about ethnicity, bloodlines, culture, religion, glad I stay from that, and all other types of idiocy."

Harry ate another cookie as Severus talked. Whoa, since when did Snape become Severus? Harry thought. He gave mental shrug as he continued to listen to the discussion.

"Grindelwald was at large at the time so it was not surprising wars and all hell broke loose." Snape looked calm as he wrapped himself in his own knowledge. Harry had to credit the man. He knew his shit.

"Why was Hogwarts boycotted though?" asked Harry, as reached for the everlasting supply of cookies.

"Well, mostly all the issues I just named," said Severus. "However, what was most common were problems with Muggle borns and pure-blood students and their parents. A lot of Muggle parents happened to be religious and it was deemed to them that magic was apart of some evil plan this Muggle entity, the Devil or Satan, or whatever the bloody hell you want call him, had prepared for us mortals. Therefore, being a wizard or witch was dangerous and Muggle borns were often persecuted by their families. Headmaster Dippet kept these poor souls at school and usually found support houses for them to reside at and get their lives together when they left Hogwarts. Not having a family can sometimes make chances of survival nil."

Harry nodded, this more of a history lesson than anything. It was better than Professor Binns droning on goblin wars, which should've been more entertaining than boycotts. Harry took another sip of the delicious tea and decided he would ask Severus what kind it was before they left. If he and Draco were going to have a mountain of tea, Harry might as well get some that he liked.

"Pureblood families were offended that the Headmaster didn't go out of his way for their children, and didn't like the idea of Muggle borns getting a step up in society. They boycotted the school hoping to change the laws that state Muggle borns be accepted. They tried to persuade the school governors not to let Dippet help Muggle born students. Dippet would've caved had it not been forAlbus. There were many attacks on Muggle born wizards all over this continent and beyond, at the time. In fact, it still happened with frequency when I attended. However, when Albus became Headmaster, well, you know him, it became difficult to attack your fellow peers." Severus smiled thinly.

Harry smiled back sheepishly; he remembered how he'd tried to curse Malfoy in front of his face back in his fifth year. "Hermione would've loved this conversation." He knew she would mentally be scribbling in her mind with all this knowledge.

"In fact, we've had it already," said Severus, much to Harry's shock. "Ms. Granger and I do stay in contact sometimes. Do you know she's now working on the uncensored version of Hogwarts: A History?"

Harry laughed at how Hermione-like it was. "That's sounds exactly like something she would do."

"You have no idea," muttered Snape, as he reached out for a cookie.

Harry laughed again. He could picture Hermione's eyes wide in excitement and glee. The poor man must've suffered through one of her rants. Hopefully, they hadn't touched on house elf ground. It wasn't bad having a conversion with Severus, even though it was filled in sarcasm, insults, and the occasional eyebrow quirk.

"She'll be interviewing the whole staff separately for interviews on what they know of the history," continued Severus. "Of course, I seem to be a favourite of hers."

Harry blinked and looked at him. "Why?"

"Because she knows I will not lie."

Harry snorted.

*

Draco had just finished filling out the forms to his medical history. He remembered it by heart, a technique he'd learned from his mother. She'd told him if important documents were ever lost, you should remember every detail about them. Strange, considering it sounded like a fatherly thing to do. Then again, Lucius wasn't around much to begin with. Draco sighed as he pushed the memory away.

The plain woman's name was Frances Sedro. It was an actress's name on a plain woman. Draco mentally cringed as she came back in. Her pink robes were stiff and hardly moved at all. He wondered if she knew how to clean her clothes efficiently without turning them into threaded sand paper.

He had shocked her when asked about his former physician and he had laughed. He didn't think it was mean, he thought it amusing. He was bored after all. There was a window in the room above the bed (what good will that do when you're lying down?), a nightstand, a carpet, and a very plain bathroom. McGonagall must've decorated this because even Snape has better taste than this, thought Draco, as he looked everywhere but at Frances.

"Now that that's out of the way," said Frances brightly, "we can begin on our discussion on coping with your body. Poppy and Pell Walton, the psychiatrist, will be here shortly."

She seemed to be very happy about this. Draco couldn't see why, since this Pell woman was coming to see if he was a sad homo on the edge on his sanity. Draco rolled his eyes and set the Malfoy sneer in place. He didn't like anyone who decided they enjoyed mindfucking people. No one will be fucking my mind, thank you, thought Draco defiantly. He knew he wasn't a good patient, but so what? He wasn't made of glass no at all; he and his mind were strong. Very strong.

Poppy bustled in a moment later, and Frances seemed relieved and left quickly. Poppy looked after her, confused, before she glared in Draco's direction knowingly. Draco had experience with Poppy and none of it was very cooperative.

"Not a very good patient, is he?" said the Pell woman.

Draco suddenly noticed her. Draco's jaw dropped. Severus... He couldn't be serious could he? The Pell woman had on faded jeans that flared and hugged her barely there hips. The jeans themselves looked as thought they didn't belong on her, which was probably due to the fact she didn't have the body for them. She wore a grey themed tie-dye shirt with black plain sandals. She looked like a bloody hippie!

Draco shook his head before anything happened. No, no, no, no. No, Severus did not send this hippie to fuck with my mind. He looked up at her once more to see that she was pretty and had very nice curly light brown short hair. The only thing was, it looked as if she'd been baking in the sun. She was really red. Like really red. Maybe she'd been puffing the wild cheeba.

"Draco," said Poppy warningly.

The Pell woman laid a hand on Poppy's arm. "No, it's all right." She looked very people pleasing, which was never a good sign in anyone. She hesitantly came towards Draco with that 'we come in peace' air about her.

"Sorry I look like this, Draco," said the Pell woman. Draco glared at the hippie woman he barely knew. She picked up on the glare though. Smart girl. "Excuse me, I mean, Mr. Malfoy, since it makes you more comfortable."

He made a noncommittal grunt. He didn't like this woman, pretty with very nice hair or not. She could really look nice if she had some fashion sense and if she didn't try to get skin cancer.

"I'm only in this get up because I'm sort of on tour with my friends," she said.

That made Draco somewhat interested. Tours and things of that nature usually made their way into his magazine before anyone else's papers. "What tour?" he asked, as he tried to sound slightly interested.

"The Vagina Monologues."

NO! NO! NO! That was definitely not, what he wanted to hear. DEFINITELY!

He covered his ears in horror and shook his head fiercely as he tried to block out the woman's words.

Vagina, vagina, vagina, it echoed.

NO!

~*~

Severus just entertained Harry with a story of a seventh year prefect and a fifth year. They were caught snogging at the edge of the Forbidden Forest while Snape had been collecting his much needed potions ingredients. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff lost seventy points, for being out after curfew, fraternising in an inappropriate way, and practically being in the forest.

Severus was telling him about the girl's expression while Harry laughed. A pair of eyes like saucers with crooked glasses on her face was funny. Harry was caught in the middle of his laughter when a cry broke out.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT?"

Harry knew as well as anyone that the shriek came from Draco. That man could get loud when he wanted to. That particular thought brought back some rather interesting and kinky memories. He was jolted from that pleasantry though when he heard another shriek.

"AHHH! KEEP AWAY FROM ME, HIPPIE!"

Harry felt concerned and got up to check on Draco when a hand stilled his ascent. Harry looked down to see a very smug Severus.

"Going off to save the world by yourself again, Potter?" asked Severus wryly.

Harry looked at him confused then realised.

"Yes, Mr. Potter," said Severus serenely, "your boyfriend will be fine. Sit down."

Harry did, slowly, as he looked at the door. The urge to fling it off the hinges came to mind with rescuing Draco. He then looked solemnly at his frolicking cats on his teacup. Why did Severus have this particular tea set out?

"Don't worry. You're melodramatic other half will be out in one piece," reassured Severus, which Harry found strange. "Told you, you wouldn't want to be in there."

Harry smiled slightly but his thoughts wandered back to Draco again.

"Trust me, Draco will be fine."

"What if he goes berserk?"

"Poppy's in there. She has teeth and claws."

Harry laughed.

*

"Come on, Mr. Malfoy! You're being unreasonable!"

Poppy held her wand and Draco held a pillow. The Pell woman waved that hideous 3D diagram in her hands.

"Me? I'm being unreasonable!" squeaked Draco, as he made sure he stayed away from either of them.

"You just have to get to know you inner vagina," said the Pell woman powerfully.

Draco stared at the hippie, holding the biggest plastic cunt he's ever seen and decided that she's not credibly sane.

"I DON'T WANT TO GET TO KNOW MY INNER VA-VA-" Draco tried to get it out, but it died in his throat. Every second, Draco felt as though his penis got more flaccid and shrunk in size. Hysteria bubbled in Draco. Something had been seriously wrong with him ever since Harry's accident.

It's Potter's fault.

"I DO NOT HAVE ONE!" shouted Draco. He grabbed his penis and tried to will it to life with thoughts of Harry. "I HAVE A PENIS! PENIS! SEE?" Draco pointed between his legs.

The Pell woman and Poppy looked at each other as if to say he was the mad one. But no, he wasn't the one who waved the big plastic cunt around in the air like a flag saying mentally scarring phrases like 'inner vagina'.

He wished he hadn't left his wand in the room. Severus probably knew what he'd do. Traitor... Draco held his pillow protectively in front of him. This was going to be a long day. He grabbed himself for another demonstration of his manliness.

~*~

Hours later, after Harry jumped up several times of his own accord because of Draco's shrieks, he and Severus made potions. Harry was a lot better at them now than before. They decided earlier that talking wouldn't easy with Draco's yelps. Severus said brewing potions was soothing and to Harry's surprise it was. Well, when one only concentrated on the potion one made. About an hour into it, Harry's concentration drowned out Draco's nancy boy shrieks.

Harry and Severus worked in companionable silence and at separate tables while they made Wit Sharpening potion. Easy enough. Harry had a question that nagged at him and decided to ask it. Since they were mates now after all. Somewhat.

"Severus?"

"Hmm?"

"What made you decided to open up a fertility clinic? Here at Hogwarts?"

Severus turned the burner off as his potion was finished. Harry's was almost finished as well. Severus looked very pensive.

"I supposed Hogwarts got very boring without you here raising hell," replied Severus. "I needed something to do, besides potion brewing. I like things outside of that as well."

"Like what?" asked Harry, as he turned off his burner. He peeked into it and accessed that he had completed the potion flawlessly. Harry restrained his smirk as Severus scowled at him. "Er, never mind."

"Anyway, I wanted to do something besides terrorise the student population," continued Severus. "This became appealing because of the horror so many couples would experience coming here. The money was not an issue; I had plenty from inheritance and from my job. I don't squander much." He looked thoughtful.

"So this isn't some midlife crisis sort of thing?" asked Harry. Suddenly, he smacked himself for his stupidity.

"No, this is not some midlife crisis thing," said Severus coldly.

"Er, sorry," mumbled Harry, while he looked for that interesting brick again.

Severus sighed annoyed and the silence stretched out. That uncomfortable feeling came back and Harry blamed himself again. He'd have to break the ice again. Then he thought of something that just occurred to him.

"Hey, did you notice Draco stopped shrieking?" questioned Harry, as he looked at the door to the examination room.

"Shrieking like a woman?" said Severus, with an eyebrow cocked. "Why, yes."

Harry was about to investigate when Draco shuffled out the door. Harry's breath caught as he looked at Draco. He was still a man that was for sure. His hair was limp, a little dishevelled, and he had wariness in his expression that made Harry's heart ache. He ran to him.

"Draco? Are you all right?" asked Harry urgently.

Draco looked as though he had the Dementor's kiss placed on him. Draco's eyes rolled up, glazed over, and then focused on Harry. Draco seized Harry and squeezed him painfully.

"It's was so horrible, Harry!" Draco sounded distraught.

Harry looked up to find Poppy when she happened to stand behind Draco. Harry had to admit Poppy looked a lot worse than Draco did. There were tears in robes and her hair was a mingled mess. Her flushed cheeks did nothing for her fed up expression that made Harry back up while Draco still clung to him.

"He is truly a troublemaker. You sure you haven't been dabbling in gillyweed?" she said, while she jabbed her wand in Harry's direction. He knew now to be very cautious.

He shook his head and began to get uncomfortable with the tight hold Draco had on him.

"Well," she breathed, "we took skin samples, body fluids, and hair for the potion. I made him listen to everything the psychiatrist had to say. Quite frankly, I'd advise you against letting him do it. He went into hysterics! Luckily, when I stunned him I got some Calming potion down his throat. He took everything else without a fight, even talked in somewhat detail with Mr. Walton about his reasons why he'd want to do this. That was sane but everything else..." She threw her hands up exasperatedly.

"Er..." sounded Harry, unsure of what to say.

Poppy turned to return through the door when she turned suddenly. "Yes, one more thing. Mr. Malfoy's potion will be ready a week from now since we have ample samples of his body makeup for the potion to excel faster. Be here before dinnertime. There's a list of precautions and requirements the day you come back to take the potion. Follow them strictly, because I will know if you have not! Good evening!" She turned in a flurry of torn robes and slammed the door shut behind her.

Harry was shocked and speechless. He could've sworn that Draco would take it today. How come Severus never said anything about that? Why let them suffer in anticipation? He looked up to see that Severus shook with light laughter.

Harry's eyes widened in angry disbelief when Snape threw a ball at him and he caught it automatically. Harry said, "Bastard." before he even realised that it was a portkey. They whirled away from the laughing, mean, snarky, bastard Severus Snape.