The Life and Times of a Girl Named Blaise Zabini

Chapter 7

Notation: [...] means the words are being spoken in Elvish

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"So, Lina-chan, who do you think is the most powerful: Lina Inverse or Sailor Saturn?"

"Inverse, hands down."

"Pft! You're just saying that because you have the same first name, Lina! At least think about it! Saturn can blow up a planet, and, when she uses magic, at least the power comes from her. Lina Inverse is just channeling power from mazoku when she casts black magic. She's just really durable, not powerful. Plus, Saturn also has healing magic! Inverse can only cast the least of white magics."

"Hey, I thought Saturn was all weak and stuff! She can't move around for very long when she's not transformed."

"That's because she's got psychic wounds and stuff from being possessed by Mistress Nine. All of her power had been going in to keeping Super Skank from taking over her body. The whole passing out thing, I think, was so her power would be able to get out and defend her without her becoming aware, because she hadn't been 'awakened' as a senshi yet. Like a massive up-surge of energy to shove Mistress Nine away long enough to get out one good blast."

"...Okay, you've made your point. Saturn's more powerful...But Inverse could still kick her butt in a fight!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yuh-huh!"

Ah, the joys of friendly debates via telephone.

[You *stink*!]

[You stink *worse*!]

Not to mention the joys of arguing in elvish. ...Hey, Blaise and Lina are both happy little Tolkienites. Where Blaise learned various elven dialects because it was a part of her heritage, Lina did the same because that's just the kind of obsessive fangirl she is.

*knock-knock!* "Blaise! Keep it down and get off the phone soon; we have an early start tomorrow to get you to the train in time!"

Blaise pouted to herself, then said, "Hey, Lina-chan? I gotta go. Granda and I are at a hotel, and we've got to get up early for the train to school."

She could practically hear Lina's own pout. "I hate this, Blaise-chan. Why couldn't you have gone to high school with me? You would've already graduated by now, and we'd've seen each other nearly every day! Boarding school must suck."

Blaise sweatdropped (Author's note: I know it's not physically possible to sweatdrop like in an Anime, but I'm rather bored with having to explain stuff, so, people sweatdrop when Anime characters would in their place. It gives the right feel to it). "Actually, Lina-chan, the school is pretty darn cool. I get to see Draco- kun all the time, and the classes are interesting. The only bad things are my room- mates, mostly."

"And how *is* the notorious Mister Malfoy? Has he gotten off his arse and asked you out yet?"

"Lina-chan no ecchi. Draco and I are just friends; always have been, always will be. I don't know where you got this crazy idea that we should be dating. It's icky. Dating Draco would be like dating a brother, or a really close cousin."

"But you're sixteen, right? A girl your age and as pretty as you has no excuses not to be dating!"

Blaise smirked. "Says the nineteen-year-old who has *never* been on a date. You are such a hypocrite, Lina. And I'm not pretty."

An indignant sniff came across the line, then: "I have the good taste to not be attracted to the immature little babymen I go to Uni with. And you are too pretty! I swear, for a certified genius, your self-esteem is far too low."

"Am not and is not! I'm darn sure I can kick the arses of every student at my school, and a good portion of the teachers."

"And you know this, how?"

"P. E. is practically nonexistent for anybody not on the House sport team at my school, and I'm pretty sure that, as skilled as I am, I can't throw the eight-foot-tall groundskeeper. And my Chem teacher is just so darn cool. And there are plenty of people who are prettier than me."

"...Your mom doesn't count."

"Bite me."

"You're scared! The Mighty B-ster is scared of little hormonal boys!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"BLAISE ELESSARIO GREEN, GO TO BED BEFORE I YANK THIS PHONE CORD OUT OF THE WALL!!!"

"...Igottagobye!" Pause. "Am not!"

*Click!*

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The next day, Platform 9 3/4...

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"KYAAAAAAAAA! I'mlateI'mlateI'mlate...!"

Leaning back to halt her headlong rush through the barrier, Blaise paused and looked around, noting her fellow students leisurely boarding the Hogwarts Express, and double-checked her watch.

11:30.

She looked over at the large clock that was hung on one of the supporting arches that held up the platform's roof, and compared the time.

10:30.

Grumbling, Blaise set to work re-setting the time on her watch. That was damn sneaky of her father to change her watch so she thought she was late, although it was probably more to make sure she got to the train on time. Even so, she made a mental note to smack him upside the head for tricking her when she went home for Christmas.

"Sneaky relatives equal monkey doo," she growled under her breath as she moved away from the barrier.

Dellai peeked up at her through the grid of her carrier's door. Blaise's face softened, and crouched down so that she and the cat were at eye-level, and cooed, "You love your mummy, don't you, Dellai my ickle munchkin? You wouldn't play such a nasty trick on me, would you? No you wouldn't, because you are Mummy's itsey-bitsey snuggle-kins, aren't you? Yes you are!"

She just could not get over the cuteness that was her cat.

"Merlin, B, could you be any more sickeningly sweet?"

Blaise straightened, turned, and grinned at her bestest of best buddies. "Maybe, I've never really tried." She gave him a quick hug, then bestowed another one on the blond-haired figure next to him. "Hi, Cissa! How've you been?"

Narcissa Malfoy smiled lightly and squeezed back slightly, then stepped back and answered the girl she thought was her late best friend's daughter. "Oh, well enough. This one here," pointing at Draco, "Has been moping about all week and doing his best to annoy his father to death."

Blaise's face went blank, then she turned to Draco. His face went blank as well.

"The humans have deduced our dastardly plan." Blaise.

"We must engage plan beta: The Look." Draco.

As one, they turned back to Narcissa, who was fighting to keep from bursting into a very undignified bout of laughter at the children's antics. Then they let loose the most dangerous weapon known to all of creation, so dangerous that some wonder if it is, in fact, the Ultimate Evil.

Puppy Dog Eyes.

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On the train, settling down in this year's chosen compartment...

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"...So, anyway, I met a cousin on my mum's side of the family that I never knew existed," Blaise commented towards the end of her telling of the boring version of her summer vacation. She still wasn't cleared to tell any of her friends about what had really happened.

"Are they Muggle?"

She leaned over and playfully smacked him on the arm, then went back to double- checking that her trunk wouldn't unexpectedly get loose and fall during the ride. "Jeebus, Draco, the term is 'mundane,' not 'Muggle!' How would you like it if they called you a Tinkerbell just because it sounded more demeaning than a Wizard? And no, he's got some powers."

Stepping back from the luggage rack, she nodded to herself, then plunked herself down on the seat opposite Draco's and let Dellai out.

A short time later, their conversation ground to a halt when the compartment door slid open, revealing the flushed face of Ginny Weasley, who had her hands full with her trunk, which seemed to have lost a wheel.

"I'm sorry, but all of the compartments near here are full, and my brothers bolted off, and my trunk is broken so I can't get very far, and I was wondering- Oh, it's you, Malfoy." The last part was said with disdain, which, though rather obvious, didn't quite cover up the slight waver of fear in her voice.

Blaise sighed to herself. Ah, the curse of having evil ba*****s for relatives: people fear the reputation without bothering to get to know the person. That was, quite frankly, the only reason why she was in Slytherin. However, she was not one to waste an opportunity, and she *had* been planning on hacking away at her Ice Queen persona this year, so she might as well start with the youngest Weasley.

Besides, if she saw Draco giving the girl cow-eyes when he thought nobody was looking one more time before they graduated, she was going to scream rather loudly, and chuck them into a cupboard together. That boy was, despite his best efforts not to do so, starting to act more and more like his father when around girls, and she did not want to see her friend in as screwed-up a marriage as his parents'.

"Hi! Virginia, right? I'm Blaise." Blaise smiled her most sincere smile, made all the more believable because it actually *was* sincere, and held out her hand to the redhead.

Ginny tentatively took her hand, looking ready to bolt at the slightest hint of nastiness. Blaise responded by squeezing gently but firmly, just like her sister had always taught her, because people tend not to trust people with wimpy handshakes as much. Ginny's grip went from nonexistent to polite at that. They then released hands, and Blaise gestured into the compartment.

"Come on in! To tell the truth, we've been avoiding Parkinson and the Brute Squad, which is why we snagged this compartment for ourselves." Blaise stepped aside, then reached for one of the handles on the trunk, easily hefting it and helping Ginny settle it on the luggage rack. A quick repair charm later, and the busted wheel was back in place.

Ginny, however, was suddenly reminded that she was sharing a compartment with the renowned and dastardly evil Draco Malfoy. She really didn't know what to think about Blaise, since the girl was generally quiet and stayed in the background, though the young Gryffindor had heard some rather scary rumors about her, that she was vying with Lucius Malfoy to be You-Know-Who's second in command.

She shivered in fear.

Blaise intentionally misinterpreted the shiver as one implying chill. "Yeesh, there must be a draft somewhere, what with all of that shivering you are doing, Ginny- May I call you Ginny?"

Ginny nodded slightly.

Blaise grinned, then said, "Hokay, sit just about anywhere-" she quickly re- directed Ginny when she started to sit on the section of seat right behind her, "-Except for there, because my cat seems to have claimed that for napping for the day. Draco, would you move your great lump of a bum and let Ginny sit? Thank you!"

For some reason, Ginny was blushing at the mention of Draco's bum. Ah, progress!

Blaise felt so evil sometimes. She blamed her Uncle-Aunt Desire, who, because basic familial titles in reference to him/her/it/whatever were just so darn long and confusing to Blaise, will be referred to from now on as Uncle Ira; Uncle because Blaise was a heterosexual female, and as such was generally attracted to males, and Ira because it was a male name that vaguely sounded like Desire.

Get it?

Get it?!

...Eh, whatever.

"Well, now that we're all settled- Ooh, look, train's moving! -what were we talking about, Draco?"

Draco, promptly pushing aside the urge to sneak looks at Ginny before either of the girls noticed, answered, "We were discussing who was the better fighter: Legolas or Aragorn. And I still think Aragorn could kick that pansy-arsed elf's pansyarse."

Blaise bristled at the unintentional insult to her father, but was interrupted when Ginny broke into the conversation.

"You two, of all people, like Lord of the Rings!?"

Draco smirked, then countered with, "Don't believe everything people say, mini- Weasel."

"Quite. But that's beside the point, because Legolas isn't an arse-pansy! He could kick your arse to Valinor, and then the elves would kick your arse back here because you're not pretty enough!" Blaise sniffed the sniff of self- righteousness. "So there, Ferret!"

"Shove it, Stoat! Aragorn is known in the books as the best swordsman in the world! No way some silly Elf Prince could beat him!"

"Which is still beside the point, because Legolas and Aragorn were friends, so, even if they ever sparred, they would have never gone full-out, so we'll never know. But Legolas' Immortal, so I win!"

"I think Frodo was better," came the timid voice of their compartment-mate.

Both Slytherins turned and gave the redhead an incredulous stare.

Blushing, Ginny then firmed her resolve and said, "I mean, well, Frodo was the Ringbearer, and he kept fighting Sauron and keeping him from taking over. Doesn't that count for something?"

Blaise and Draco both paused, pondering this point. Finally Blaise nodded to herself.

"You do have a good point; Frodo lasted quite a while as the Ringbearer, though he probably had it for almost the least amount of time. But, considering he had that tainted wound, and Sauron was actively trying to mess with his mind, he did a darn good job.

"Even so," Blaise continued, a thoughtful _expression on her face, "In the end, he couldn't resist the pull of the ring. If it weren't for Gollum, Sauron would have won."

Blaise's thoughtful look transformed into a smirk. "But I still think Legolas could kick Aragorn's bum!"

This last statement started a zany and utterly ridiculous chase around the room, with plenty of whooping and growling and laughter.

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Several hours later, everybody in their uniforms...

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"Monday, Monday..."

"Ba-dah, ba-da-da-da..."

"So good to me..."

"Ba-dah, ba-da-da-da..."

"Monday morning, it was all I hoped it'd be..."

"But Monday morning, Monday morning couldn't guarenteeeeee!"

"That Monday evening you would still, be here with me..."

"Everyotherday!" Draco belted out.

"Everyotherday!" Blaise and Ginny sang back.

"Everyotherday of the week is fi-ine, yeah!" In unison!

"But whenever Monday comes," Draco.

"But whenever Monday comes," Blaise and Ginny.

"But whenever Monday comes you can find me cryin', all of the ta-aah-ime!" In unison again!

"Dun-dun!" Blaise.

"Monday, Monday..."

Finally the three collapsed into a pile of giggling teenagers on the floor in the middle of the compartment. The sudden movement had the virtue of scaring the bejeebers out of Delight the Kitty, who madly skittered up the back of the seat, hissing.

"Stupid spastic cat..."

"Hey! Do I insult *your* pet's intelligence?!"

It seemed that the three had found yet another thing in common: they all liked to sing, and they were darn good at it, too!

Ah, friendly bonding...

Suddenly, there was a knock at the compartment door.

Still giggling, Blaise managed to curb her mirth long enough to respond, declaring, "Green's Cashew Farm; which nut would you like to speak with?" Then she joined Draco and Ginny in another round of uproarious laughter, which the person on the other side of the door seemed to take as an invitation to come in.

Ron Weasley's head poked in, starting with "Hey, have you people seen my sis...? GINNY!"

Ginny absently blew a few strands of hair that had somehow gotten over her eyes away, then waved cheerfully at her big brother. "Hi Ron!"

She might have said more, but Ron was suddenly through the door, followed by pointing his wand threateningly at Draco.

"GET YOUR SLIMY MITTS OFF MY SISTER, MALFOY!"

Blinking, the two girls looked at just how Ginny and Draco were situated, and Ginny started as she realized that Draco was sitting rather close to her, with his arm companionably around her shoulders.

She blushed.

Blaise, on the other hand, was giving Draco a quick thumbs-up while mentally crowing, 'Mission Accomplished!'

"Wuh?" Draco blinked at Ron, then at Blaise, and then noticed how he and Ginny were situated.

Hmm, this seemed like a win-win situation for Draco. He was next to a rather delightful girl, and he was annoying Weasley just by sitting there.

Draco leaned back, stretching slightly, and said, "I don't see how it is any of your business, Weasley. The lovely Virginia here isn't complaining," a comment that got Ginny blushing even more, and Blaise's smile stretching even wider, "And you are not her father."

Ron was now seething with anger, and snarled out, "Well, I happen to know the guy, and he wouldn't like it either! EAT SLUGS, MALFOY!"

Fortunately for both Draco and Ginny, Blaise decided to intervene with a quickly- cast disarming spell.

"Expelliarmus!"

The next instant, Blaise was on her feet and giving Ron a (relatively) gentle whap upside the head.

"By the Valar, Weasley, did someone drop you on your head a couple hundred times when you were a baby, or you naturally this oblivious?! Ginny's fine, Draco has been, is, and will continue to do so, behaving himself, and all you have succeeded in accomplishing is disrupting a rather interesting conversation." She leaned around him to see who was still in the hall (darn Tall People! Grr...), smirked, then said, "And your girl-friend looks like she's about ready to wallop you a good one."

"HERMIONE IS NOT MY GIRL-FRIEND!!!"

"That's not what we've heard!" sing-songed Draco, Blaise and Ginny, the last of which having seemed to have recovered from her bout of blushing.

Ron seemed to be torn between towering rage and beet-red blushing embarrassment, and Harry Potter and Hermione Granger's muffled laughter behind him in the corridor weren't seeming to be helping the situation, though Granger's face seemed to be almost as red from the girl-friend comment.

Things might have gone further, but the sensation of the train slowing alerted all present to their impending arrival at their institution of mystical learning.

"YES! I LOVE THIS SCHOOL! GO HOGWARTS!!!"

Blaise promptly broke into her "Happy Fish on Tuesday" dance, her personal version of which she had developed after reading "Good Riddance" by Crazy_gurl70. The expanded explanation behind the "Happy Fish on Tuesday" dance is that the fish are happy because there is no fishing on Tuesdays, hence "Happy Fish on Tuesday". It was her personal tradition to annually dance the "Happy Fish on Tuesday" dance in the compartment, or, lacking a compartment devoid of people she did not trust, to do so in the loo, thereby properly welcoming the new school year and hopefully ensuring a lack of bad experiences for the year.

Of course, Blaise is a mature young woman who has reached that wonderful stage in her psychological development (a stage that, unfortunately, not everybody reaches) where she doesn't give a flying rat's arse what anybody thinks about her when she is being weird, hence her engaging in her "Happy Fish on Tuesday" dance with people other than Draco present.

"...Blaise, what are you doing?" Ginny asked, one eyebrow raised as she wondered if she really should have gotten quite so chummy with the Slytherin.

"My 'Happy Fish on Tuesday' dance! Come, frolic in fishy happiness with me! It's a wonderful way to start the school year!"

Shortly thereafter, Blaise grabbed Ginny's hands and proceeded to induct her into the Sisterhood of the "Happy Fish on Tuesday" dance.

Hermione noted to herself from the corridor that the "Happy Fish on Tuesday" dance looked rather a lot like the Snoopy Dance, only with some fish-like movements thrown in at certain points.

Then the Gryffindor Trio had to motor out of there, because the train had stopped and they did not want to be among the last people off of the train, followed shortly after by Draco, Ginny and Blaise, who only waited as long as they did to leave because Dellai was being persnickety and wouldn't go back into her carrying case.

"Zip-adeedoo-da, zipadee-ay; Pansy's ugly face can't ruin my day!"

A snort of laughter and a feminine giggle were Blaise's response, along with some curious and amused looks from their fellow students as the three made their way to the horseless carriages.

"Plenty of pranking, heading her way; zip-adeedoo-da, zipadee-ay!"