The Art of Forgivness

Remus Lupin was waking down an old dirt path when the hair on the back of his neck stood up. He drew his wand but kept walking. Before long the site of a one story log cabin met his eyes. He smiled. Home. The uneasiness from minutes before was forgotten and replaced with a melancholy that had once been so devastating he'd considered burning the place down.

Flashback:

"Will you please take this blindfold off?" a young Remus Lupin whined as he stumbled.

"Not yet," replied another young man with hair that stood up every which way.

"You're taking all the fun out of this," the man who was leading him added.

"Fun for who?"

"Us."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself so much Sirius, but that's the third root I've tripped over."

"Don't you trust me?"

"Not at the moment, no."

"He doesn't trust us," James feigned hurt.

"Oh shut it," Remus muttered.

"Maybe we should leave him out here," Sirius suggested.

"He'll only apparate to the nearest town."

"Not if we take his wand."

"I wouldn't do that," a decidedly feminine voice joined the conversation.

"Unless you like sleeping on the lawn," another woman added.

"Lily, Sophia," James' voice almost squeaked. Sirius shook his head. The boy was whipped.

"We know our names," Sophia glared.

"Were you planning on getting to the house sometime today?" Lily questioned.

"What house?" Remus demanded.

"Now you've spoiled it," Sirius exclaimed. With an exasperated growl he tore the blindfold away.

Remus blinked as his eyes re-adjusted to the light. Before him stretched a familiar dirt trail.

"Might as well apparate now," James shrugged.

"Anti-apparation shields," Lily reminded him, "Besides it's just around the corner, and it's a nice day."

***

Remus stared at what had been the Potter's vacation home before their recent deaths. It was a log cabin in the mountains of Alaska. It had been built by a miner during the gold rush. The property had been bought from the state many years ago, but the cabin itself was on no records, had been made unplottable (no small feat) and had other wards such as the anti-apparation shields. Some of these had come after Voldemort's rise, but many had already been there due to Mr. Potter's desire for privacy. His own words had been "When I take my family on a vacation I intend to take them on vacation."

"What are we doing here?" Remus questioned with a lump in his throat. The Potters had been amazing people. In some ways they'd been more understanding of his lycanthropy than his own parents.

"It's yours," James replied softly.

"Mine?"

"Dad saw how much you loved the place when you came up here in the summer."

"Mine?"

"Earth to Moony," Sirius waved a hand in front of his face.

"I can't, this should be yours," he turned to James.

"Nonesense," Lily spoke up.

"It's yours whether you want it or not," Sophia informed him, "Of course I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands."

"Nice try," Remus smiled as it finally sunk in.

"Home sweet home," Sirius smirked as he and James dragged Remus into the cabin.

End Flashback

***

Using his wand Remus disabled the wards and unlocked the front door. The smell of dust and disuse pervaded the room. The cabin had two editions. One was a master bedroom and the other a bathroom that the Potters had added soon after they'd discovered the place. The main space a was just one big room divided into a small living room area before the fire, a kitchen with an antique stove and a dining room that consisted of a hand crafted table accompanied by hand crafted chairs. A set of stairs led to a loft that extended across half of the main floor of the cabin, and a three man bunk was attached to the far wall. The cabin had been rather crowded toward the end of the Potters life what with he and Lily and Sophia joining the "family" as Mrs. Potter had called it. Remus had never felt more at home than those summers he'd spent in this place.

Pulling the plastic cover from the bed in the master bedroom he quickly scanned the dark corners, rafters, and space under the bed for anything unusual before dropping to the bed fully clothed. He was asleep in minutes. He didn't see the wolf that propped it's paws against the outside windowsill and stared at him with large hazel eyes. He didn't see the wolf turn into a tall blond woman. And he didn't see her tears.

***

The next morning Remus apparated just outside Anchorage and set off into the town. ½ of his meager savings later he had groceries, materials to begin a garden, several sets of muggle clothes from a second hand store, bedding, and he'd paid the storage fee on an old, but dependable single engine plane he'd received as payment for a tutoring job in a small village in Alaska years and years ago. Wizard or not when you lived as far out as he did a plane was a necessity.

When he had landed and loaded all his gear into a box which he preceded to levitate, he set off down the path that led from the flat grassy area at the edge of the forest which served as a landing strip, to the cabin. Once again the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, but he figured it was just being so alone after almost a year of being surrounded by students.

That was until he saw the flash of silver darting in and out of the trees. A wolf. Not a werewolf, just your average North American grey wolf, but it was acting strangely. He'd never before been trailed by one. Except for... but no it couldn't be her. Not after all these years. Suddenly an overwhelming anger welled up inside him. His box clattered to the ground as he suddenly whipped his wand towards the forest and cast a stunning spell. He heard a surprised yelp and then nothing.

He slowly approached the motionless wolf. It was sleek, and small, a female. Carefully he pried open one eye lid. Letting the eye lid drop he sat back numbly. It was her. No wolf had eyes that color except her.

***

Sophia slowly became aware that she was no longer in the woods, and no longer a wolf. She was lying in a bed. Frantically she sat up and began to search for her wand before seeing the shadowed figure at the end of the bed.

"Looking for this?" he asked stepping forward. In his hands was her wand.

"Remus."

"So you remember my name. How very touching."

"You sound like Severus Snape."

Remus laughed bitterly.

"You didn't have to stun me."

"I want answers."

"Nothing I can say is going to change the past eleven years."

"No it won't. I still want to know why."

"You know why."

"Refresh my memory."

"I was dying inside Remus and you know it too. I think part of you enjoyed it because it meant you had company while you dug your own grave. Did you ever stop drinking?"

"I haven't touched a drop in six years, but that's not what this conversation is about."

"What do you want to know? That I went back to America? That I drank and slept around for three years before the private eye tracked me down to tell me my parents died in a helicopter crash? That I almost let their company go to hell while I moved in with some prick who slapped me around? That when I found out I was pregnant I left? That I salvaged the company, and I've been trying to raise my daughter by myself ever since? That when I heard about Sirius that the bottom fell out of my world all over again?"

"You have a child?"

"Yes."

Remus seemed to take a minute to absorb this information before he spoke again.

"What have you heard about Sirius?"

"I went to see Albus Dumbledore. He claims that Sirius is innocent."

"It's true Sophia. I was there. I saw Peter."

"Twelve years Remus. We let him rot away for twelve years."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"I said I saw him. Says he forgives me. Wanted to know if I'd forgive him. Isn't that just a kick in the head?"

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know."

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you forgive me?"

"Let's just say we both made a lot of mistakes, but the past is the past."

"I like that. Friends?"

"Family. You forgive family things you'd kill friends for."

"He can't know Remus. He can never know."

"Don't you think we owe him the truth?"

"It was a long time ago, and neither of us was thinking clearly. There's no reason to hurt him anymore."

"More lies?"

"I never lied to you. I just disappeared."

"You know what's really ironic? That's probably the only reason I didn't end up killing myself. After I lost you I moved out here and started taking odd jobs. Did better in the muggle world than I ever would have back home. Losing everything is how I found myself."

"Listen I need a place to stay for awhile. The Ministry is watching me. They seem to think Sirius will seek me out, and I'm afraid he will. There's also been a threat on my life. I work part time for the American wizarding government. Some of my "talents" come in handy. They're interconnected with the Ministry. I was spying on Lucius Malfoy. Personally I'd like to run into him in a dark alley, but I can't put Alexandra in danger."

"Alexandra? Is that your daughter?"

"Mhm. She just turned five."

"You can stay here as long as you need to."

"Thank-you. Can I have my wand back now?"

"Oh right," he said as he tossed it back to her, "You've changed it."

"After I got my life back together the old one just wasn't right anymore."

"Same core?"

"Same core."

"Good to know not everything has changed."

"But that's the thing Moony. Everything has."