Wizarding Idol

Lee: " Welcome to Wizarding Idol! I'm your host, Lee Jordan! Everyone is standing outside the charms classroom, awaiting the chance to become the next Wizarding Idol! Our Judges are Sirius Black, Severus Snape, and You Know Who himself. Our first contestant is: Dobby The House Elf! Tell us Dobby. What's it like being a house elf? Actually. Never Mind. Hermione's about ready to kill me, I think. Just be sure to bring me back some sweets from the kitchens, ok Dobby."

Hermione: LEE!

[Dobby runs into the charms classroom shaking his head furiously]

IN THE CHARMS CLASSROOM

[Dobby rushes in]

Dobby: So sorry I late sirs!

Voldemort: [yawning and pulling out his wand] I can't believe this! We aren't actually going to let this... thing compete, are we? Can't I Just kill him?

Snape: Granger would have your head.

Sirius: Dark Lord or not, Severus is right. The slimy git. Hermione would be serving you as lunch for Hagrid's hippogriffs.

Voldemort: Fine. Let's get on with it then. House Elf! What are you going to sing?

Dobby: [looking nervously around] Ummm...

Voldemort: Ok. No song no audition. [Raising his wand] Avada-

Sirius And Snape In Unison: NO!

Voldemort: Fine. I'll kill Granger, and then I'll kill the House Elf.

Sirius: Over my dead body.

Voldemort and Snape In Unison: That can be arranged. [Both shrink back in horror] Ugh!

Snape: Oooooooookay. NEXT!

[Ron enters]

Snape: No! Leave while you're ahead Weasly. Or else I might let Voldie here kill you.

Everyone turning towards Snape: Voldie!?

Snape Jeez! Mutters something under his breath including Potter's not dead yet.)

[Ron stifles a laugh]

Snape: Ten Points From Gryffindor!

Ron: Hey! No fair! You can't do that!

Snape: Wanna Bet? Twenty points from Gryffindor. I told you to leave while you were ahead.

Ron: Some Idol the lot of you will find!

Snape: Thirty points! [Ron stomps off]

Voldemort: NEXT!

[Harry Potter enters]

Voldemort: Oh! Please can I just kill him?

Sirius: No! He's my godson. Why don't you just go kill a rat?

[At that moment. Pettigrew appears]

Pettigrew: You Called?

Voldemort: Yes? Jeez! No respect around here!

[Pettigrew then begs VOLDIE for forgiveness. Voldemort raises his wand. Only Pettigrew objects]

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra!

Harry: You're pathetic

Voldemort: Excuse me? Hey Snape! What was that about house points?

Snape: Hey, you can't kill him during competition. Wait. Never mind, by all means, kill him.

Harry: [muttering] You bastard.

Sirius: Just let the boy sing, we haven't heard an audition yet, and given the amount of Butterbeers the two of you have consumed already, you'll be drunk by midnight anyway.

AUTHOR: Will Harry sing? Better yet, will Harry survive? How long does it take to get a death eater drunk? And the question everybody wants an answer to. (Drum roll please.) Is any body going to sing, or is this just another one of those completely pointless fics? I will answer one question. This is not just one of those pointless fics. There is a plot although it is somewhat twisted.