Rose Among the Thorns

Chapter 27

A soft wimpering sound woke Charlie from a shallow sleep. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and padded down the corridor to the nursery. Sure enough, a tiny bundle of blankets in the cot along the wall was wiggling and crying. Charlie lifted the bundle out of the bed and cradled it against his shoulder.

"Hush now, Davie, love," Charlie murmured. He carried the baby down to the kitchen and warmed a bottle. Settling into a rocking chair, Charlie sat in darkness, the only sound was his son's gurgling and sucking on the bottle. It had been two months since David was born, and Charlie still marveled at the miracle of new life. Ten perfect fingers, ten perfect toes, a straggly mop of red hair and a pair of dark brown eyes. His mother's eyes.

Charlie closed his eyes and sighed. In the months after Ron's death, Hermione had changed dramatically. She had become introverted, rarely speaking to anyone, even himself and Harry. She had even left her job at the Ministry, on the premise of taking care of baby David. While she did an excellent job taking care of their son, Charlie often caught her staring off into the distance, with a glazed, blank look on her face.

Charlie leaned his head back and listened to the rhythmic creaking of the rocking chair slowly rolling back and forth on the wooden floor. He had always known that Hermione would take Ron's death badly, but he had never imagined it would have been this bad. It felt as if she had never loved Charlie at all and was grieving Ron as though he had been her husband instead. As much as it hurt him to see her in such pain, His own heartbreak of losing her to the memory of his brother far overshadowed his sympathy for her.

David's wiggling brought Charlie back to the present. He quietly carried his son back up to the nursery and carefully placed him in the cot. Looking down at his sleeping son, Charlie's heart broke. Only a few months ago, he and Hermione had been looking forward to the birth of their first child with joy and anticipation; now it was if they barely knew each other. Charlie choked back a sob as he gently smoothed his son's tuft of bright ginger hair. How could his life be so unfair? The loss of his brother was difficult enough to bear, but the loss of his wife's love...

*****

The next morning, Charlie awoke bright and early, as usual. He quickly dressed in his work robes and went down to the kitchen. Hermione was facing the stove, and did not acknowledge his presence. Charlie leaned down into the carrycot where his son was gurgling and waving a toy wand and tickled his stomach. He sat and ate the breakfast already laid out on the table as his wife ignored him.

Finally wiping the last bit of egg yolk from the plate with his toast, Charlie stood and picked David up and kissed his round cheeks.

"See you this afternoon, Davie boy," he said. Putting the baby down, Charlie shrugged on his raincoat and turned to face his wife.

"I might be late tonight, there's a meeting for the entire Reserve," he said, picking up his rucksack.

Hermione shrugged noncommittally as she placed the breakfast dishes into the sink.

Taking a bracing breath, Charlie leaned over to kiss his wife on the cheek.

"Goodbye, love," he said.

Just as his lips nearly brushed her cheek, Hermione abruptly turned away. She continued washing the dishes as if nothing had happened.

Stunned, Charlie backed toward the door. Although there had been little contact between them during the past five months, Hermione had never before turned away when he kissed her goodbye.

Struggling to compose himself long enough to Apparate, Charlie slowly trudged down the muddy road to the Dragon Reserve. He suddenly felt that something had shattered between them.

Charlie's sight began to blur as tears he could not stop began to stream down his cheeks. Completely oblivious as a steady rain began to fall, he sat down on a large boulder on the side of the road and began to sob. Head in hands, he wept bitterly; Hermione's complete rejection had finally broken him.

*****

A soft tapping at the kitchen door started Hermione from her reverie. Opening the door, she was surprised to see Remus.

Hope I'm not intruding," he said, shaking off his umbrella and removing the mud from his shoes with his wand. He shrugged off his overcoat and sat at the kitchen table.

"David's napping," Hermione said in a matter of fact tone as she set the kettle on the stove.

Remus nodded. "He's already grown so much since he was born."

Hermione busied herself with the kettle and the kitchen filled with an awkward silence. When she finally set the tea on the table, Remus cleared his throat.

"Hermione, this isn't exactly a social call," Remus began.

"Oh?" Hermione said with an air of disinterest as she fidgeted with her napkin.

"To be very blunt, I came to talk to you about Charlie," Remus said, giving her a level look.

"Charlie's at work," Hermione replied, taking a long drink from her cup.

"I know," Remus said. "I want to ask you why you've been treating him so very badly the past few months."

Hermione's head snapped up and she looked Remus in the eye for the first time since he arrived.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied sharply.

Remus leaned back in his chair and looked at her in surprise. "You've barely spoken to him in five months! In fact, you've hardly said anything to anyone, even Harry."

Hermione shrugged. "I don't have anything to say."

Remus laughed sarcastically. "I hardly think that you, of all people, could run out of things to say."

Hermione's cheeks reddened slightly and she stood and began to clear the table. "What I say, or don't say, and to whom I do or do not speak to is none of your business," she snapped.

"It becomes my business when you hurt our friends," he replied. When Hermione opened her mouth to counter, he continued. "I know that you cared very much for Ron, and that losing him was extremely painful..."

"Painful?" Hermione shrieked. "I have been in love with Ron Weasley since I was thirteen years old! He was the only man in the world that I ever wanted to spend my life with! You have no idea how it feels to lose the greatest love of your life!" By now, Hermione was red faced and breathing heavily, clutching onto the back of a kitchen chair for dear life.

Remus allowed Hermione to catch her breath before he began. "Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel. Six years ago, I was married to the most wonderful woman on earth."

Hermione paled slightly as she remembered. "Tonks," She breathed faintly.

Remus smiled faintly. "Tonks," he repeated. "She was the only woman to know exactly what I was, and love me in spite of it. For the first time in my life, I could love someone and know that she loved me in return. Tonks loved me freely, without holding anything back. She was the most generous and open person I have ever known."

He paused and took a drink of tea. "When she died, I thought that I had died too. Obviously, I hadn't, but it felt as though my very soul had been torn in two. At first, I couldn't do anything without thinking of her. I was so wrapped up in grief and self pity I was a very wretched creature indeed. Then I got angry. It wasn't fair, I had been miserable, shunned by society nearly my entire life, and just when I had finally found happiness, it was all torn away from me. After that, I was consumed by guilt. 'If only I had gotten to her in time,' or 'If only I had saved her.' I especially felt guilty because I pushed her away for so long. I punished myself by thinking of all of the time I missed with her because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself."

"After a very long time, I finally realized that as hurt and grief stricken as I felt, it was never going to bring Tonks back. None of the tears or anguish could ever bring her back. I was going to have to face life on my own, without her. And so I did. It wasn't easy, and it didn't happen immediately, but I learned to live without her. And that's what you need to do too."

By now Hermione was openly crying, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. "But it's so hard," she whispered.

Remus smiled gently. "I know," he replied. "But do you think that Ron would have wanted you to be so miserable? Would he have wanted you to treat Charlie so badly?"

Hermione shook her head. "I know I shouldn't have been so cruel to Charlie, but I was hurting so badly, I was blind to what I was doing."

"But you aren't anymore, Hermione," Remus said, taking her hand in his. "Charlie loves you very deeply, and these past few months have nearly broken him."

Hermione sighed heavily, but remained silent.

"There was a point in time that I believed you loved him too, wasn't there?" Remus asked gently.

Hermione sat quietly for a moment, and bowed her head. "Yes," she said. "I loved him, and I still do." She sighed again. "When Ron died, I felt so guilty that I had fallen in love with Charlie, that I wanted to make myself stop loving him." She paused. "But I can't."

Remus brushed a stray curl from her forehead. "Then you need to tell him that, before it's too late."

Hermione gulped. Remus stood and wrapped her in a tight hug. "You'll be alright. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but everything will work itself out."

She gave him a watery smile. As she shut the kitchen door behind him, Hermione exhaled heavily, releasing all of the pent up energy she had been keeping hidden for the past five months. She had a lot of work to do if she wanted to save her marriage, and her happiness.

********

Charlie stepped into the dimly lit kitchen, soaked to the bone. He had barely pulled off his overcoat when a small body flung itself at him.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she kept repeating over and over again.

Charlie fell back into the door in shock.

"I've been so horrible to you and you didn't do anything to deserve it, it's all my fault, I felt so guilty about being in love with you when I was supposed to be in love with Ron, I've been so selfish, I wouldn't blame you if you hated me," Hermione rambled into his shirt collar.

As Charlie gradually began to recover from the surprise of his wife's actions, he carefully pried her arms from his waist. Hermione suddenly fell silent, and stood before him, hanging her head.

Charlie placed his hands on her face and gently raised her face. Hermione's blotchy, tearstained face gazed silently up at him.

"I'm so sorry," she said, blinking back tears.

Charlie kissed her as hard as he could. When he pulled away, Hermione gazed at him in wonder.

"You don't hate me?" she whispered.

"I could never hate you," Charlie replied forcefully. "I am in love with you, and I will love you until the day I die."

Hermione smiled. "I love you too."

Charlie sat down in one of the kitchen chairs and pulled Hermione down into his lap. "Whatever happens, I want to make this work," he said. "I want to make us work."

"Whatever it takes," Hermione answered.

Notes: I've had a rough time with this chapter, trying to get it as close to how I think the characters would react. I didn't want to drag out the Charlie/Hermione reconciliation, and as Hermione hasn't been speaking to Charlie for five months, it would have been hard to write without much dialogue. I'm glad I decided to keep Remus alive, because he just became a natural confidante for Hermione, given the circumstances.