Destroying Myself

Chapter Five

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Hermione Granger - if I wish her dead, will she vanish? She's a Mudblood, just a brainy, witchy, know-it-all Mudblood, and she's giving me orders! No Mudblood is going to give me orders!

"You'll do as she says," Harry hisses at me in a low voice.

I give him a glare of death but he completely ignores me, turning to Hermione.

"Hermione, take him to Flourish and Bolts, and feel free to curse him if he tries anything funny."

Oh, I'll show her funny.

"What are you going to be doing, Harry?" Hermione asks. Her voice is irritating.

"I have to speak with Malfoy." Harry lets out a deep sigh, his face troubled. "I'll join you in a bit."

"Alright." Hermione nods. "I'll Apparate with him."

Harry nods to her, and then, looking distractedly down the hallway, he gets up and leaves.

"Well, come on," she says to me, giving me a look of distrust.

I obey silently but reluctantly, watching her stand up to find her wand in her robes.

"Ron," Hermione says, as she takes my arm.

I stare at her hand touching my robes and I wish nothing more than to wrench my hand away, to curse her.

"Yeah," Ron says quickly.

"I could use your help on this." She looks past him as she speaks.

"Oh, right," Ron says to her carefully. "I'll meet you in Diagon Alley."

Hermione nods and I feel the familiar sensation of Apparation.

We land in the place I know so well as Diagon Alley, outside the great Wizarding bank - not a lot has changed. A few new shops, new people, but the basic set-up is still the same. I don't really know what I was expecting.

"This way," Hermione says, pointing in the direction of the bookshop. "Ron will meet us there."

She lets me lead the way as Harry had done, and she's careful to watch my every move or glance, as though worried that I'd disappear if she looked away for even a moment.

We enter the bright but eerily silent bookstore, Flourish and Blotts. There's just the shop assistant and one other customer inside, and immediately the clerk comes over to us.

"Anything I can help you with?" he enquires.

"Could you tell me where the Time Travel section is?" Hermione asks. I watch her slide her wand up her sleeve a little so that the clerk doesn't notice it and get suspicious.

The clerk nods and leads us over to a selection of books.

"Here you are." He leaves us.

"So, what sort of spell did you use?" Hermione asks as she runs a hand along the spines of the books.

"I created it," I say proudly. "It's sort of a Seer spell."

Hermione doesn't flash me a surprised look when I tell her I created it, as I would have expected; she just furrows her brow as she continues to study titles.

"Here," she says, pulling down a few books. "We'll start with these."

The door to the shop opens and we both look up to see her little red-haired boyfriend walking towards us.

"Sit in one of those chairs," she says to me.

I feel a sudden rush of loathing and she does a double take, as I don't bother to hide it.

"We need to get you home," Hermione says to me in a businesslike tone. "So go look it up; you have more of an idea of what we're looking for than I do. I'll ask you a few questions in a moment."

I pass closely by her, pretending I didn't hear - a statement to tell her who is in charge. Or maybe that's just me kidding myself.

I sit in a chair and flip open a book, but I'm not bothering to read it right now. I'm looking for an opportunity.

Hermione approaches Ron and they speak in low voices, clearly trying to resolve their disagreement.

They're getting pretty deep into the argument, but Hermione glances over at me at even the tiniest movement.

Ron runs a hand through his hair and then points to me, though I can't hear what he says.

"I am watching him!" Hermione says. "I'm not completely incompetent, Ron! And at least I can remember a few simple dates."

The clerk glances at them, as they are clearly disturbing the peace.

Hermione drops her voice, and hisses to Ron, "At least admit that you forgot and apologize, Ron!"

"I am sorry!" Ron yells.

"Shh," Hermione shushes him.

A stickler for the rules, a bitch in her own right - if I were Ron I'd have dumped her already. I'd have cursed her as quickly as possible, too.

Now's my chance - I've almost made it out of the chair and she still hasn't looked in my direction. I quickly jump up and turn to move away from this area but I come face-to-face with Harry.

Shit.

"Where are you going?" Harry says, his wand pointed straight at me.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "I'm looking for a spell to get me home; do you mind?"

"Yeah, I do. Sit down," Harry says.

I don't sit right away - I take my time with it. I'm not used to following orders, especially under these sorts of circumstances.

"Hermione," Harry interrupts them. "Have you found anything?"

"Oh, I gave him a few books to look at," Hermione says, nodding at the books on the table in front of me.

Harry turns to the books and picks one up. "Alright, then let's get moving."

"Right, of course, Harry," Hermione says, giving Ron a look, and then coming to join us at the table.

She sits beside Harry, pulling out a quill and parchment.

"Alright," she says to me, dipping her quill into the ink. "Go through the spell, one step at a time."

I stare at her. Why should I have to divulge my secrets? This is my brilliance, something I worked long and hard to earn; I couldn't just unveil it to a mere girl like this Muggle.

"Why don't you just let me figure this out on my own?" I say. "I just need to figure out what the flaw was in my spell, and from there I can work out the kinks."

"Just tell her," Harry says wearily. He looks exhausted, as if he's got this massive burden on him.

I shake my head. "If you really want to help me figure this out then you can find me something that will help me evaluate my spell from an objective position."

"There's no such spell," Hermione says. "There's the Prior Incantatus spell, but it only replays the last spell you used, it won't show you the details."

"We can work with that," I say. "Get me the spell information."

Hermione quickly nods and rushes off to find a book.

"How did you learn to create spells?" Harry asks curiously.

"Practice," I mutter. "I'm not the greatest wizard of my age for nothing."

Harry suddenly freezes, looking at me as if I've grown extra arms and legs.

"What?" I ask, frowning.

"You-you..." Harry trails off for a moment, clearly unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Yes, me?" I say. Harry doesn't say anything; he's still just gaping at me, so I turn to Ron. "Ron, could you tell me why Harry's looking at me like that?"

"I dunno," Ron says, sounding concerned. "Harry, what's up mate?"

"Brilliant," Harry says softly.

"What is?" Ron asks before I can.

"The souls, Ron," Harry says, glancing from me to Ron.

It takes a moment but the revelation that Harry had just experienced dawns on Ron as well. I still have no idea what he's talking about.

"Do you think," Ron says, "he'd know?"

"He will," Harry says.

"Will he tell us?"

They're looking at me like a pair of hungry lions.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" I demand.

Harry opens his mouth to respond but is interrupted by a loud pop as Malfoy appears in front of the table.

"Potter!" Malfoy says hurriedly.

Harry's face falls in horror. "Malfoy! Get out of here! What are you-"

"We found it," Malfoy says. "Come home, now."

Malfoy disappears again and Harry stares at the spot where he'd been stood, dumbfounded.

Found what exactly? A spell to get me home?

"Ron, tell Hermione to buy any books she might need, I'll reimburse her," Harry says quickly. "We have to get home."

He takes my arm quickly and we Disapparate.

I land back at Harry's house in confusion.

What's going on? And what do I have to tell them?

Malfoy is standing, waiting for us - or more precisely, waiting for Harry. He has his arms folded across his chest and a smug look on his face.

"I told you I was good, Potter," Malfoy says in a voice that only adds to my confusion.

"Where?" Harry asks, ignoring his tone.

"Mundungus sold it to an old collector; we tracked him down," Malfoy says, keeping his eyes on Harry. He holds up a locket, a completely ordinary, mundane locket - or what would have been, had I not recognized it immediately.

My heart stopped, everything froze, my eyes narrowed and everything was focused on this one object.

Did they have any idea what this was... What that locket is to me? What are they going to do with it? And why had they been searching for it?

Harry snatches it from Malfoy, and I watch him eye it carefully.

"Why-" I start to say.

Harry's eyes fly wildly to me, and he holds up the locket as if taunting me.

"Do you know where the other two of these are?" Harry asks.

Other two? A moment of fiery fear and nerves. Ginny told me about the diary, how it had been destroyed.

How did they know about my Horcruxes? How the hell did they know?

I shake my head as if I don't know what he's talking about.

"I have no idea," I say.

Harry doesn't believe me, I can tell by the look in his eyes.

"If you want to get home, Tom," Harry says, "then you're going to tell me what sort of objects your other two Horcruxes resemble."

This is when it hits me - because of whatever I have done in this time, they're trying to destroy me.

Now, it's my turn to get the answers; I want to know why and how this is happening, and I want to know immediately.