Destroying Myself

Chapter Two

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Things are very wrong. I can feel the cool air of the hallway, I can smell the musty dust ridden castle - this isn't right. I'm supposed to be watching everything that will happen to me, I'm supposed to travel through time as a wisp of smoke, unnoticed by all; but I'm not; I'm here in the flesh, and someone is talking to me. When you travel as a Seer, you travel as a spirit --; but I'm flesh, blood, mind, body and soul, all right here, standing where I'd assume the Room of Requirement used to be in my time at Hogwarts.

I can't tell what I look like, but I know my clothing is the same; and I know there is an older woman, shockingly pale, --leaning against a wall and looking as if I'm the bloody grim reaper here to collect her soul. Her hand is covering her mouth, but that doesn't stop me from recognizing her as the woman Dumbledore has around his office as a trainee. I think it's Dumbledore's girlfriend, fifty years older.

She hasn't moved since she first caught sight of me, she hasn't made a sound - maybe she died of a heart attack and I just didn't notice it. But her eyes are on me, a splash of fear I've never seen the likes of before.

I try to remember her name, but everything is a bit much. I'm really not supposed to be here!

She finally lets out a shaky gasp that so perfectly matches her expression that I even become a little afraid; she's coming to her senses, I can tell because she's rummaging through her robes to find her wand, but she's fumbling awfully badly.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I say. I say this to calm the pitiful-looking woman, but she ignores me as she drops her wand.

I step on it as it rolls towards me, and she looks from her wand up to me, eyes full of horror.

"How did you get in here?" she asks. Her voice is quivering, but I can tell that she's started to get a hold of herself.

I'm not quite sure how to answer her, so I don't.

"What year is this?" I ask.

Her mouth falls open a little and, staring at me hard, she says, "You can't be- Can't be him."

"Tom Riddle?" I ask in a low voice. She recognizes me, but from where? Surely not just Dumbledore's classes.

She slowly nods. "Riddle? "

"I am," I say. "Now could you tell me what year it is?"

She thinks she's helpless, because I have my wand in my hand, and hers is trapped under my foot. I'm really not sure why she's afraid of me, but if playing on that's the only way I'd get answers, then I'd go with it.

"How...are you here?"

"Listen, lady," I say, fed up with her confusion at my being here. I'm more confused then she is - well, I amend, looking at the expression on her face, perhaps not. "I just want to know what year it is."

"19...1998..." she says slowly.

1998, and my year is 1945. I'm a long way from home, --fifty-three years away. 'How am I here?' that's actually a question I'm really starting to wonder about, myself.

Maybe Dumbledore knows, maybe he's stuck around at Hogwarts for the past fifty-three years; he would, it would be so like him. But did I really want to rush off to Dumbledore? I hated him, I didn't want him to know what sort of mess I had gotten myself into, because the truth is, I have no idea how to get home. I never considered that this might happen.

If I swallow my pride... what would happen if Dumbledore saw me? Would his reaction be the same as this woman's?

Screw my pride, I decide, mostly because I want to know what's going on here, and Dumbledore always knows, because he can't keep his nose out of anything.

"Can you tell me where I can find Professor Dumbledore?" I ask her.

I thought she looked frightened before, but it was nothing to the horror and -- confusion that filled her face this time.

I give her an annoyed look, and she mutters, "Al-Albus i-is dead..."

Dead? That's a shocker, but the -- thing that shocks me the most is the way she said this, as if I was the one who caused his death.

"Dead," I say simply, watching for her reaction.

She winces.

"Well, if he can't tell me what's going on here, then maybe you can," I say to her.

She looks at me, sternly. "May I have my wand back?"

There's a squeak in her voice, because she's still frightened, but I think she's realised that I don't know why she's afraid of me.

I look at her, blank faced; she's under my power, all I have to do is use that. I scoop up the wand and twirl it in my hand for a moment, -- then turn my eyes towards her.

"What happened to Dumbledore?" I ask coolly.

She doesn't answer right away, and I'm just about to tap my wand, to remind her who's in charge, but I hear footsteps coming, and as I glance over she catches me off guard, and in one bold movement, she snatches her wand from me and yells, "Stupify!"

Black. Still. Nothingness.

When I wake up, the room is fuzzy, and when things start to come into focus, I realize I'm on a couch, in a house. My confusion is only matched by my anger when I realize I can't move.

Not only do I have my hands, legs and feet all tied up in silvery looking rope, but I also have the full body bind curse upon me, a silencing spell, and a dozen other spells around me that I can sense but can't identify.

I am forced to stare directly at a empty fireplace, and I'm laying on my side - it's really rather uncomfortable.

I hear voices behind me. I can only surmise that there is a mob of people, I can't count how many because their voices run together, and all of them seem panicked.

"Harry, what's your call?" I hear a man ask someone.

"Get a Veritaserum," 'Harry' says in the distance.

My guess is he's using that potion on me to get me to tell him what I know; of course, to his disappointment, I won't be able to explain anything. Oh well, that's not my problem; what is, is getting out of this place, out of this time - after I find out what happened to me of course. I didn't travel all this way for nothing.

Two guys, one older with brown hair and shabby robes and the other about my age, black hair and glasses over green eyes, pull up chairs and sit in front of me.

The older guy removes my silencing charm.

"What's the big idea?" I ask. They seem to think I'm playing dumb - but really I'm not.

"Open your mouth," the boy says to me; he gives me a look of pure disgust and hatred.

I do as he says as I see the Veritaserum in his hand; he opens the bottle and dumps a few drops into my mouth, and I swallow it.

"Riddle?" the boy asks me.

"Yes," I am forced to reply, though I would have told him anyway.

"Do you know who I am?" he asks, eyeing me.

"I really don't know who you are," I say. "You don't even look remotely familiar, but then again you were born after my time."

He turns to the older man, giving him a confused look.

"Is this stuff any good?" he asks.

"The best." The older man frowns. "He's telling the truth."

"Blimey," the young guy whispers. "How did you get into Hogwarts?"

"Traveled through time," I say. "I've been working since my fifth year to discover a way to travel through time. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this, I wasn't supposed to actually go through time, I was just supposed to see it."

"Why?"

"I wanted to see what became of me," I say. "In my future."

Duh.

"I've been curious ever since I uncovered the secret of the Chamber of Secrets; when I learned of what I was capable of being."

The two stare at me dumbfounded as if I'm some test subject that's turned blue when I'm supposed to turn green.

"What year are you from?" the other guy asks.

"1945, I'm a seventh year at Hogwarts School," I say. "I did my spell in the Room of Requirement, that's why I was in the castle."

"Is that the only reason you traveled to the future?" glasses guy asks.

"Yes," I say. "I just wanted to see myself. I didn't plan on actually interacting with my future; I was going to be a passerby as I traveled as a Seer."

This truth serum, though strong at first, was beginning to wear off now.

"Will you undo these spells now?" I ask. "It's awfully uncomfortable."

The older man gives a heavy laugh, saying, "Uncomfortable."

He walks away, going to talk to the people in the background.

"Who are you?" I ask of the one who is left.

"I'm Harry Potter," he says.

He was looking at me as though this should mean something to me, but nothing registered in my mind.

"Well, Harry," I say. "Could you please at least remove the body bind?"

Harry just stares at me; his green eyes are still full of seething hatred.

Clearly, whatever I have done has warranted me a few enemies over the years.

"I don't think so, Tom," he says.

"Why?" I ask.

He looks at me like I'm mad.

"Bloody hell!" He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't trust you, is why."

"You made me take a bloody truth potion, what more do you want?" I ask.

"I don't trust your word," he says. "I know what you're capable of."

"I know what I'm capable of too! And believe me, I'm not about to go around cursing anyone here or anything."

The look he gives me tells me he really doubts this.

"I just want to find out about me, and then I want to go home," I say. "That's it, I swear."

"Why do you want to find out about you?" Harry asks.

"Because I want to know if I've become something powerful, someone memorable."

"Oh," Harry says bluntly. "You are."

What did that mean? - I had to know, I had to get him to untie me.

"Listen, I don't know what I've done to you, or what I've done at all for that matter," I say. "So either explain it to me or let me go, because I don't have anything more I can tell you."

"Shut up," he hisses at me.

He infuriates me, mostly because he reminds me of me.

Harry turns to shout to someone, "Oi, Malfoy!"