The Rules of the Game

I close my eyes when I get too sad

I think thoughts that I know are bad

Close my eyes and I count to ten

Hope it's over when I open them

-- Everclear, "Wonderful"

Agua! Agua!

The sunlight crept into the hotel room, warming Bill's bare skin and teasing him awake. He opened one eye, looked around at the blurry scenery, allowed the offending eyelid to droop back, and turned over to get more sleep.

In the mean time, Eddy waited patiently for the lift to take him to the seventh floor. He whistled a jolly tune and gave a curt nod to one of the cleaning ladies. He'd just go wake up Bill, and they'd join Rani and the rest for a scrumptious continental breakfast, or so the menu said.

Eddy knocked on Bill's door twice, and when no one opened the door for him, he used the spare key to go in. However, the sight that met his eyes was not pleasant.

The room was a mess.

Clothes had been taken out of the drawers and thrown to the floor. What looked like Bill's own bag was dumped across the room, some of its contents dumped around it. But what most got Eddy's attention was the fact that the safe was wide open.

Of course, Eddy was a reasonable man, and decided to question Bill before jumping to the wrong (most frightening) conclusions.

He awoke Bill by dumping a jug of water on him.

Bill jumped up, quickly wrapping a sheet around his waist, and glowering at Eddy. "What's going on?" he demanded.

"Billy boy, what happened to your room?" Eddy asked sweetly.

Bill took out look around, let out a horrified scream, and immediately was on his feet, looking around.

"The safe is open, the Sphere is not there," Eddy pointed out.

"Oh no, no, no," mumbled Bill. "This cannot have happened."

"The Sphere was stolen," Eddy stated. "How could it have been stolen?"

"Shit, shit, shit," Bill said, frantically getting dressed. "There was this girl and she said she was a vampire slayer and she spent the night and oh, God..."

Eddy nodded. "Right, I'll go get Rani."

"Wait, no!" Bill yelled, running to block Eddy from the door. "If you tell her, she'll kill me."

"And rightfully so," Eddy snapped. "Bill, the Sphere was stolen! This is big!"

"Let me think, okay? I can fix this," Bill said. "We need to find that girl. We can ask the front desk when they saw her leave, maybe she took a taxi. We can track her down."

"Billy, why would you sleep with someone you don't know?" Eddy asked. "What ever happened to the sexual tension between you and Rani?"

Bill thought it was best not to answer.

*

Rani crossed her arms over her chest, a particular vein in her neck threatening to burst, and gave Bill her worst glare.

"Repeat that, please," she said, her voice anything but calm and happy.

Eddy ducked under the table and Summer edged towards the door.

Doyle, on the other hand, looked quite pleased.

"Now," snapped Rani.

"The Sphere is... missing," Bill said, averting his eyes. You were suppose to do that when faced against a predator.

Rani let out a frustrated yell. "How is it missing?"

"Bill's room was riffled through," Eddy added helpfully. "They didn't know where the Sphere was, and only aimed for the safe once they were positive it wasn't hidden anywhere else."

Rani's eyebrow twitched. "Do we know who might have stolen it?"

Bill gulped. He wondered if the floor would swallow him before Rani pounced to castrate him.

"You see," he started, "there was this girl, and she sort of spent the night, because, um, she has night terrors, yes... so, our prime suspect would be her."

"Night terrors?" asked Doyle.

"Spent the night?" demanded Rani.

"Grave robber?" José said thoughtfully. "If she's a common grave robber our problem might be solved."

Bill perked up.

Rani was still twitching, possibly about to convulse any minute now.

"There's this man," continued José, now looking quite like Bill's guardian angel, "who's well known for his dealings in the black market. Anything from exchanging dollars to international smuggling. If you're looking to buy something rare, you go to him."

"Great!" chirped Bill. "Where do we find him?"

"Well, I'd have to ask around," José said.

Bill wondered why they had told Rani. Did she have the powers to get the Sphere back with the snap of her fingers? No. Did she have contacts with dangerous ninjas that would kick anyone's bum to get the Sphere back? No. Did she have the power to shout like a banshee?

Yes. Oh god, yes.

Bill wished he had bled to death back at Vetula.

Rani walked up to him, looking extremely angry and extremely likely to strangle him right there and then. "You," here, little bits of spit were flying out of her mouth, "are going to follow José to find this 'man', and you are going to come up with a plan to get the Sphere back." She turned around to address the rest of the room. "None of you will contact Bellamont. She will not know about this, understand?"

Bill nodded meekly. He felt like some laboratory rat that kept getting shocked because he couldn't find the cheese.

"I've got a friend at the portkey station," Doyle said. "I can go see if anyone fitting this woman's description passed by."

"Good idea. If she registered a two way portkey and hasn't gone home yet, you could ask to freeze her portkey," Summer added. "Bill, I don't how silly thing may sound, but did you catch her name?"

"Just her first name," Bill said, slightly offended. "Astrid."

Everyone seemed to freeze at the exact moment. Rani, especially, was turning an extreme shade of red.

Karma, in all her glory, pointed at Bill and laughed.

"Astrid?" Rani asked slowly. "Blonde woman, you said, right?"

"Right..." Bill wondered if he could jump out the window.

"About this tall?" Rani asked again, her hand signalling a bit higher than she.

Bill wondered if he would spontaneously combust now. "Yes," he said grimly.

Doyle let out a laugh to rival Karma's.

"I cannot believe it," he said through gasps. No one else found it quite funny. "I cannot," he repeated, "believe you slept with Montanez."

Boom! went Bill's brain.

And then of course came, "Montanez is a girl?" he demanded.

"Not all masterminds are male," Summer pointed out.

Bill was still registering the fact that the person he had been on the look out since bullets had whizzed past him was a woman.

It was devastating.

Why couldn't he have been gay just for that evil period in time?

"Now, let's recap for those who are extremely confused, mainly me," Chuck said. "Weasley slept with Montanez. Weasley had the Sphere. Sphere is currently missing."

"Three guesses who has it," Doyle said with a smirk.

"Bummer," Chuck agreed.

Bill sighed. It was time to act his age (what was it this year, twelve?) and come up with a solid proof plan. Not to mention, possibly join a seven-step-group that stopped him from having one-night stands.

"We won't change our previous plans," Bill said. "José and I will go look for this bloke. Maybe he'll know about Montanez's hideouts. I'm thinking that Sphere will be too dangerous to smuggle out by traditional transportation, so she'll go Muggle. Doyle, contact your person at the portkey station. We should keep out an eye for her there, anyway. Rani, you know enough about airports. It's a hard shot, but try and see if she's reserved a seat on any slight within the next hour or two." Bill closed his eyes for a second. "Eddy, you're my laptop man. Search for her. You were able to scan her and her men before, try again. If she has anything registered under her name here - cars, houses - I want to know about it."

"Wow, he's a regular leader," Summer teased.

"Summer, I want you to stick around here. It's extremely doubtful Montanez is still in the hotel, but maybe her men are keeping tabs. I know she had a room here, see if you can find it and have reception tell you how long ago she checked out. Report back to Eddy," Bill continued. All boyish traces on his face had left. "Chuck, no idea what to do with you, mate. If you want, keep your sister company, or help Doyle. Let's go, José."

José nodded, adjusting his hat. "I think I know where to start," he said, opening the door.

Rani nodded, pleased. "When should we meet back here?" she asked Bill.

"As quick as possible," Bill answered.

*

José's contact to the Big Man was actually quite easy to find. He was the one in a seedy jacket selling cocaine in downtown Caracas, or, as José called it with slight disappointment, "el Centro."

As they approached him, the contact looked as if he was deciding to run or stay. Apparently he figured as long as they weren't holding guns, he would stay.

"¿Qué se le ofrece, doctor?" the contact asked José, eyeing Bill suspiciously.

"Necesitamos comprar algo de valor especial," José said, and Bill struggled to make sense of the language.

However, it looked as if José's words were having little affect on the contact, for the man laughed and said, "no, no" various times.

Suddenly someone, from far off, yelled, "Agua! Agua!"

The contact froze, his eyes scanning frantically around him.

José smiled sweetly. "Agua is the code for police," he explained to Bill. "Our friend here knows that the police will catch him if he doesn't put his drugs away."

Bill nodded. "It would be a pity if he were paralysed right on the stop, wouldn't it?" he asked.

The contact narrowed his eyes at both men.

"It would be a shame," José agreed. "The police aren't so lenient with drug dealers any more."

"All right, all right," snapped the contact, suddenly all traces of Spanish going. "You're looking for Andres Branger. Get your yellow pages and search for Macavity's. Once you there, use the password "a pint of milk," and you'll have access to Mr. Branger." With that the contact hurriedly showed his packets of cocaine into a bag, and sped off into the crowd.

José and Bill exchanged looks.

"Yellow pages?" Bill asked incredulous.

José shrugged. "We should probably leave before the police get to us," he said. "We can ask the hotel for their yellow pages."

"Do you--do you feel like this was too easy?" Bill said as they walked past the vendors.

"Maybe Mr. Branger wants to be found," José said.

"Or we're walking into a trap." Bill jumped over a sleeping man. Somewhere nearby a woman screamed obscenities at the police, and a little boy ran shirtless across Bill's path, only to collapse in gleeful giggles.

"All we've been doing lately is walking into traps."