The Rules of the Game

The jester does another spin
And then falls to the floor
A show of hands, a short "Hurrah!"
A plea for him to do more...

-- Blackmore's Night, "Fool's Gold."

Into the cupboard. Out of food.

When Bill stepped into his new room, he took a moment to notice the curtains were a lovely green colour, close them, tip the bellboy, and hit the bed, burying himself under the sheets, dirty clothes and all.

Of course, the moment he turned around, his dagger poked his rib, and he had to take a minute to undress. But he finally managed to sleep, ignoring the voices coming from the market below.

It was five in the afternoon when he woke up and remembered what had happened to him. Taking a peach from the fruit basket, he chewed on it thoughtfully while reading a guide for tourist. It recommended going to discos, and that sounded like a good idea to Bill. A bit of dancing and meeting girls was not a bad way to start this new adventure.

Finishing his peach, he threw the seed into the rubbish bin, and settled for a fresh bath. Rani had informed him that clean clothes had been bought for him, and he could find them in the closet along with shoes and other necessities.

The room's bathroom was smaller than most, but quite elegant in Bill's opinion. There were scented soaps by the sink, and something that oddly smelled like flowers and ginger. Fluffy, white towels had been brought up, and Bill tested the water with a satisfied sigh.

Singing the latest Weird Sister's song to himself, Bill helped himself to the various soaps and shampoos there were. His red hair would certainly benefit from this part of the trip, he thought, making sure the water stayed hot.

Between the singing and the rushing of the water, Bill didn't hear the door of his room open, nor the heavy footsteps that treaded on the carpet. He didn't hear the creak of the bathroom door open, but he did notice when the shower drapes were pulled apart and a gun was pointed to him.

Rani let out a shriek and stumbled backwards, covering her eyes and dropping her gun. Bill dove for the nearest towel, saw it was too small to be normal, and quickly reached for a bigger one. "What are you doing here?!" he demanded, holding on to his towel for dear life and fumbling to turn off the water.

"I'm sorry!" Rani squeaked, keeping her eyes on the toiler, and blushing strongly. "I heard screaming and thought you were in trouble."

"Screaming? I was singing!" Bill snapped.

"Oh," Rani said, finally gaining composure. "You could have fooled me."

"Get. Out," Bill hissed.

"It's not like it's a big deal," muttered Rani, before she flounced off into the other room with a wicked grin.

Bill blushed to the tip of his ears. Quickly scrambling into the blue shirt and trousers he had brought, he combed his hair and pulled it into a ponytail.

"I'm ready," he announced to Rani, who had been flicking through the telly.

"I'm really sorry," she said again, before getting off the bed. She had changed her revealing clothes for a green button-up shirt and capris, but her wand still held up her hair in a knot.

"Bellamont wanted me to take you to an early supper," she added. "It's a wizard place, so you might like it. Unless you had other plans...."

"Sounds perfect, I'm starving," Bill said. "Lead me to the food. And then a bit of dancing."

Rani smiled. "The hotel is having a steel band play at eight. It should be fun." She picked up her handbag. "Can you drive?"

Bill grinned. "Like a broom."

*

"If this is how you drive a broom," Rani gasped, as they almost collided into a lamppost. "I don't want to see you playing Quidditch." She shrieked as Bill almost collided into a street vendor. "Hit the brakes, hit the brakes! Get out! You're not driving anymore."

"Relax," Bill said. "The first time I've drove, I crashed into a building. I've improved since then."

"Oh, that's good," Rani said, relaxing a bit. "How many times have you driven since?"

"One. Now."

"Oh, damn."

It took Bill another fifteen minutes until he pulled up in front of their stop. Rani thanked God, offered him a sacrifice for letting her live, and hurried out of the car. "You," she declared, "are never driving again."

Bill smirked, and put on his sunglasses. He liked them. They made him look cool. "This is the place?" he asked, looking confused. "It says Magasin Antique." It looked like an old shop that had been abandoned for centuries. Dust had gathered in the windows, and Bill thought he saw a rat run past.

Rani smirked. "Never judge a book by its cover, Mr. Weasley. I told you it was a wizard restaurant. Don't you think we'd hide it from the Muggles?"

Bill followed her into the store, and was amazed at the sudden change. It resembled a high-class pub, completed with beautiful waitresses.

Rani looked at one of the waitresses (her name tag said she was called Geneva), and carefully said, "All their helms of silver are hovering side by side."

Bill rolled his eyes, immediately knowing that this was another of the famous passwords he had yet to learn. Why they couldn't use normal codes like "the sun is smiling on the purple cow" or "twelve roosters sing pastrami" was beyond him.

"And their eyes are still fixed," responded the waitress. "'ello, Rani, Mr. Weasley. Mr. Smith is already waiting for you."

"Mr. Smith?" Bill asked, as they passed through the crowd of wizards and witches.

"He'll be teaming up with us," Rani explained. "He knows a lot about Muggle computers."

Mr. Smith resulted to be a rather short man, who looked to be around Bill's age. He was wearing clothes that had various patches and holes in them, but looked like a pleasant bloke all the same. He had a glass filled with beer, and waved when they approached.

"Eddy Smith, at your service," he said, shaking Bill's hand. "Never met anyone from Egypt. I come from the United States of America. Do. You. Understand. English?" He kept making funny signs with his hands.

"I am English," Bill said with a smile.

"Oh," Eddy said, looking disappointed. But he quickly smiled again. "So you are! That's still nice, though. I'm from Florida myself to be more specific."

"Do they always talk this much?" Bill whispered to Rani.

"No, just Eddy." She cleared her throat. "Okay, Smith, we're setting off tomorrow. Are you ready?"

Eddy pulled out a briefcase from under the table. He tapped it fondly. "Laptop," he explained. "A sort of Muggle computer that can be dragged around. We'll be using it to keep tabs on Montanez's men." He turned to Bill, "We can also download porn for those cold nights when Rani kicks us out of the tent." He winked.

Rani growled. "We leave early tomorrow. The taxi shall pick you up, and take you to the motherhouse."

Eddy looked satisfied. Turning to Bill, he said, "Tell me about yourself, Billy. I've lived in Florida most of my life. But then Bellamont found me during an era of hunger, and took me in. I've spent the last three years here in Guadeloupe, learning everything I can about these Muggle inventions. Useful, but sometimes I wonder if they're worth the trouble. If you don't have a reliable laptop like the ones Biggerstaffonia offers, they'll friggin' crash on you, losing every bit of information you have. Anyway, Bellamont trained me herself. I'm a karate white belt. Do you know karate?"

"Isn't a white belt the first level of k-" Bill was cut off as Eddy patted his arm and continued talking about his new life in Guadeloupe. Bill felt overwhelmed, and slightly annoyed at being called "Billy." But Eddy looked like a pleasant chap, and it was comforting to know he and Rani wouldn't be working alone.

Rani was picking at a salad the waitress had brought her and kept staring at one of the windows. Taking a sip of water, she got up. "We have to go," she announced to Bill and Eddy in a whisper. "We're being watched."

Bill looked at the window she had been looking at, and noticed a man looking back at him. Eddy had grabbed a careful hold of his briefcase, and was following Rani to the back of the restaurant. Bill looked out at the window again. The man had gone.

"Come on, Billy," Eddy called, and Bill broke into a trot after him.

Rani had led them past the kitchens, and towards what looked like a storage room. Bill vaguely wondered if he would ever have a proper meal again, before Eddy ushered him into a hallway. Bill could hear someone running after them, and wondered why it was so important to have him killed. Currently all he needed was a big plate of chicken and potatoes, a portkey home, and he'd be more than happy to leave the Sphere of Mentality and guns behind. Alas, no, apparently making sure he took a bullet to the bum home was what these idiots had in mind.

"Weasley, in here!" snapped Rani, pulling him into a cupboard with her.

It wasn't really a big cupboard, and Bill wondered how he managed to fit in there with both Rani and Eddy. Apparently at very odd angles. Also the back of his knee itched. He wondered if he could ask Rani to scratch it for him...

"Weasley, get your hand off my arse," Rani snapped suddenly.

"What?" asked Bill, confused. "My hands are no where near your arse. Actually I think they're -" He squeezed something. Eddy squealed indignantly. "Sorry, Eddy."

"Eddy, remove your hands," Rani said.

Bill heard Eddy snicker. "Sorry, doll, was just trying to open my briefcase. I want to see where the Big and Ugly went."

The back of Bill's knee really itched now. "Rani, do you think you could reach and -"

"No," Rani snapped. Apparently she didn't like being stuck in tight spaces. Well, it wasn't like it was a picnic for him either. Sure, he had his share of cupboards with girls, but none involved a short American male.

Eddy shoved something into Bill arms. It was his briefcase. "Just hold on to that for a minute, Billy." The small area was lit up with the eerie glow of the laptop.

Bill felt a pressure in his groin. "Er, Rani, I think you're... That is, could you turn a bit? I think you're..."

"Oh," squeaked Rani, and she immediately moved, earning an "ow!" from Eddy.

"I can't check the computer if someone's covering my eyes," objected Eddy. "Who's wearing the brown shorts?"

"Oh, sorry," Bill said, moving a bit to his left. "Ow." Well, the itch had gone, but had been taken over by the pressure of someone's elbow in his ribs. "Rani..."

"Bad luck," was all she offered. And she pressed into his ribs even harder.

He smirked to himself and felt around for her arse.

"That's not Rani," Eddy snapped.

"Sorry," Bill said, immediately removing his hand.

"And if you try again, I'll smack you," Rani added. "Whoever it is, remove your hands from my stomach." There was a pause. "No, not into my trousers." Bill snickered.

"Ok, I'm getting the signals," Eddy said. "Let me see where the evil is." There was a bit of clicking, and then, "Oh."

"Oh what?" Rani demanded.

"There's a body right outside," Eddy informed, and suddenly the cupboard doors swung open.

Bill tumbled backwards, desperately grasping for something.

The man who had been following them looked amused. He pointed a gun at Rani.

Without thinking, Bill swung Eddy's briefcase and smacked the man in the face. Big and Ugly, as Eddy had called him, cried out loud, dropping the gun. Bill had broken his nose.

"Run!" yelled Rani.

Bill and Eddy broke into a run after her. "My briefcase!" howled Eddy. "I had fragile stuff in that! Couldn't you have just swung your fist at him?!"

"I could have swung you at him," Bill snapped, putting an end to the brief fight.

They dashed out through a back door. Rani was holding up a small telephone, and shouting down instructions at it. Bill thought the telephone didn't really deserve a scolding for their sudden situation.

"I need a car now!" Rani was yelling. "Montanez is on to us. Reschedule the flight to Venezuela. We need to leave as early as possible. Down the street? Spiffy." She slammed the phone into her handbag, and Bill cringed. "Let's go, boys," she said.

"We're going to Venezuela tonight?" Bill asked, once they had stopped to breathe and wait for Bellamont to send them a car.

"Montanez is doing the same," Rani explained. "We can't stay behind. We'll be taking an airplane. Have you ever flown in one? We'd take a portkey, but it's too easy for Montanez to figure out."

"What's an airplane?" Bill asked Eddy.

"Likes cars, but in the air," offered Eddy. "Which means you die by falling from the sky."

Bill really didn't want to fly an airplane anymore.

*

Rani seemed to enjoy airplanes a lot more than Bill did. As soon as they had done airplane things (something about showing a little book with his information in it), she had told him and Eddy not to move, and she had gone to change in the toilet. She came out wearing the clothes that Bill had first seen her in, except they looked cleaner.

"We'll be spending one night in Caracas, then it's off to the Amazonas," Rani explained, while she flipped through a magazine.

Eddy had been busy typing things on his laptop. "I have a younger sister," he explained. "She worries about me. I like to tell her what I'm doing. I'm sending emails. Like owls, but through the computer."

"I have a younger sister, too," Bill said. "She's the only girl in my family. We're a bunch of boys."

Eddy grinned. "That won't suit her when she starts crushing on boys. My sister's fifteen now. I cringe every time she brings her boyfriend home."

"What's the story about Rani?" Bill asked. "No family?"

Eddy shrugged. "I don't know much about her. We've only worked on a couple of cases together. I know she used to live in California. Her parents are from India, I think, but she seems to have a more English streak." He closed his laptop. "She was engaged a year back to this guy. They broke it off when he moved to China for research purposes. She's a good gal. Keeps to herself most of the time, but likes to have friends."

"How long has she worked for Bellamont?" Bill said.

"Some time now. Possibly ever since she graduated." Eddy got up. "I'm going to buy some coffee. Want one? Or is it all tea with you Brits?"

"Coffee would be nice," Bill said. "And maybe if you could get some food?"

Eddy winked. "Sure thing. Rani?"

"Chocolate, please."

Eddy left, leaving Bill to care for his laptop, and making him promise not to swing it at anyone.

"Bellamont will have our translator meet up with us when we arrive to Caracas. He'll be joining out team," Rani said after a while.

"You and three men," Bill teased. "Must be paradise."

"It'd be paradise if one of them were worth looking," Rani shot back, but she was smiling.

Bill pretended to look hurt. "I've got plenty to look at." He pointed to his hair. "I bet you've never seen anyone with this coloured hair. Or muscles like mine."

"Weasley, I've seen twigs with more muscles than you."

"I feel offended."

"Good."

Rani resumed reading her magazine, while Bill took to studying the various people in the airport. A blonde girl was smiling and sending teasing vibes to him. Maybe he could go say hello?

"Sit down," Rani ordered when he stood up.

"What?" Bill said, feeling like a boy who had been caught stealing cookies.

"Just sit down. Here comes Eddy with your food."

Bill scowled, but welcomed Eddy's sandwiches and chocolates with open arms. The coffee wasn't too bad either. He wondered if he should save some food for the trip. What if the airplane didn't carry food? Or Venezuela had a food shortage? Bill pocketed a sandwich and a bar of chocolate, and finished his coffee.

"Do you all have everything?" Rani asked.

Eddy patted his briefcase lovingly, and Bill checked his pockets. Wand? Check. Dagger? Check. Bellamont's key? Check. Food? Check. Hrm, what was this? Oh, a contraceptive potion. Eh, best to keep it just in case.

Rani eyed him suspiciously, but didn't say anything.

Bill rolled his eyes. It's not like she'd be needing it anyway.