War and Passion

Chapter Fourteen

Only the Good Die Young

The next few days went like by like a blur to Harry. His days were spent in vicious training, which had been thrown back into full swing upon the news of the prison break and the Dementor's cross over to Voldemort's side. His nights were spent in clouded torturer as the images of the actual atrocities the Death Eater's were committing blended with Harry's own horror filled past. Worst of all, he hadn't been able to find a spare moment of time to see Ginny.

He was constantly tired, stressed, aching. . . It was like the beginning of his fifth year all over again. In retrospect, the few days he'd been allowed to actually rest at the Burrow before the tides of the War had change, were a godsend. Who knew when he'd get another break like that?

"Ouch, bloody hell, Ron! What are you trying to do, maim me?" Harry yelled in frustration as a sword caught him in the side, which, even under an anti-injury charm, hurt like hell, especially when swung by a great oaf of a War Mage who was still slightly miffed with you about shagging his sister.

"I'm sorry, Harry. Was I not being gentle enough with you? Maybe the Death Eater's will take better care not to hurt you too badly. . ." Ron chimed in a disgusted voice.

"If you keep this up, the Death Eater's aren't going to get a chance at me, you'll do the job for them. . ." Harry barked back as he sheathed his own sword and walked away from Ron.

"You're quitting?" Ron questioned incredulously as he chased after Harry.

"I'm taking a break." Harry grabbed a bottle of water that had been sitting on an old tree stump next to their training area outside Lupin Lodge. He took a long drink then promptly fell exhausted on to the grass.

"You can't quit, we just started. . ." Ron almost whined as he sat next to Harry and took the water from him.

"Go practice with Daniels. . ."

"Hermione's practicing with him. . ."

Harry stopped rubbing his forehead, which was currently throbbing with yet another headache, to look over to where Hermione and Daniels were practicing. Hermione looked a little tired herself. . .

"Take over for her. She looks beat. What did you do, keep her up all night?" Harry questioned against his better judgment.

Ron looked a little sheepish as he too glanced over to where Hermione and Daniels were practicing.

"Not all night. . ."

"Sorry I asked," Harry said quickly as he threw up his hand in a defensive position.

"Maybe, I will take over for her."

"You do that," Harry said as he fell onto his back in the grass, happy to get Ron off his arse for once.

A few minutes later Harry was taking deep steadying breaths as he looked up at the clouds and tried the pain management techniques that Hermione had taught him to help keep his headaches under control. Unfortunately, he was just too tired and they weren't working. He missed Ginny.

"Your head hurts. . ."

Harry blinked and tilted his head to look at Hermione who was standing over him.

"Yes. . . Can you help me?" Harry moaned in a way he wouldn't have dared, had Ron been around.

He reached up and grabbed Hermione's hand, pulling her down on to the grass next to him.

"Is it that bad, Harry?" Hermione asked in concern as she leaned over him and moved his tense fingers away from his scar.

"It's been bad. I just can't shake it. It hurts all the time. I try to ignore it like always, but it's just too much. I can't fight it. . ." Harry was shocked to hear his voice shaking and he realized just how much he'd been holding back the past three days.

"It's red. . . Have you been having nightmares?"

"I always have nightmares."

"You know what kind of nightmares I mean, Harry. Are you seeing things? Have you been reading the papers to see if the current attacks match your dreams?" Hermione voice was a mixture between reprimand and concern.

"No, I just can't, Hermione. They're too terrible, there are children being hurt, tortured, even. . ." Harry swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "even killed. I don't want to know. "

"That does sound like what I've been reading. There was a report this morning about a large family with five children I think. . ." Hermione stopped her mumblings when she saw Harry's eyes squeeze tighter. "Doesn't matter."

"What do I do?" Harry sighed as he partially opened his eyes to see Hermione staring off into the distance thinking.

"Well, I think you're just on over load. The Death Eater activity has increased significantly. That has to be having an effect. Voldemort is gloating about it, I'm sure. But, to be honest Harry, I think your main problem is that you're tired. You're sapping all your strength at night with these dreams. Maybe, we could owl Madam Pomfrey to send you some dreamless sleep potion. . ."

"No!" Harry snapped, effectively ending Hermione's speech.

"You're worse then Ron. It's not bad to have a little of it every once in a while."

"It's addictive. . .You don't give someone with chronic nightmares dreamless sleep potion. You know I'd get hooked on it," Harry said in a shocked tone. He couldn't believe he had to explain this to her again.

"I know. . . But, it's better than suffering like you're doing right now."

"No, Hermione. I'm not taking it. Besides, what if the house was attacked while I was out? I'm not going to risk that," Harry groaned as he let his eyes shut again.

"I'll do what I can. But, if you don't figure out a way to get a least a little sleep you're going to end up too sick to do anything," Hermione said sympathetically, then performed a pain relief charm that did lift a some of the pressure. "Maybe, you should go and take a nap."

"Are you kidding? I'd have Sirius fussing and mewing all over me. He'd probably have my arse back up at St. Mungo's," Harry laughed as he looked over to Sirius who was currently glaring in their direction, as if sensing the conversation.

"You shouldn't lie to him, or Ron, for that matter. He wouldn't have been so hard on you these past couple of days if he knew how much you were suffering," Hermione sighed as she lay down in the grass next to Harry and closed her own eyes in exhaustion.

"I'm not going to ask for special treatment because of a little headache, Hermione."

"A little headache?" Hermione smirked as she turned her head to look at him.

"You know what I mean. . ."

Harry was actually more relaxed then he had been in the last three days. He should have gone to Hermione to begin with. She was about the only one who was able to offer him any amount of relief when his headaches got really bad, even Madam Pomfrey's charms were almost useless next to Hermione's. Which, Harry figured had to do with the emotions attached to the charms she performed. After all, Madam Pomfrey cared for him, but nowhere near as much as Hermione did.

"Everything okay?" Sirius questioned as he walked over.

"Fine," Harry said quickly with a pleading look at Hermione, whose lips were pursed in obvious disapproval. "Isn't that right, Hermione."

She looked to Sirius, whose brow was furred in concern, the man wasn't daft, he knew the two of them were keeping something from him.

"Yes, sure. . . fine," Hermione said in a low tone as she got up and headed back towards where Ron and Daniels were still practicing.

"Harry?" Sirius questioned when Hermione walked off.

"Sirius, I'm fine. I had a little headache and Hermione helped me with it, that's it," Harry sighed, opting for a partial truth as opposed to an outright lie.

Sirius arched an eyebrow at him as though contemplating wither or not he should let Harry get away with keeping things from him.

"You up to practicing?" Sirius asked and Harry couldn't hide the sigh of relief that escaped him.

"Yes," Harry agreed readily as he got up.

"Well, I want you paired with Daniels for the rest of the day. Ron's been a little over enthusiastic lately." Sirius said as he hit Harry's back affectionately and gave him a knowing smile.

"Over enthusiastic? Hermione had to re-set my shoulder twice yesterday. . ." Harry said incredulously.

"Yes, well, I think that he might not know his own strength."

"He knows his strength. That's the problem."

*

By later that night Harry's headache had returned full swing, aided largely by the Apparation lessons they'd been taking for the last three days. He hadn't known just how draining Apparation could be. He almost wished they hadn't got permission from the Ministry to receive their licenses early. He hated it almost as much as port keys.

"Why don't you go up to bed, Harry?" Hermione suggested as she lifted her head off Ron's knee to look at him.

Ron and Hermione had been staying at Lupin Lodge since training lasted all day. By late at night neither one had felt like talking the floo back home. Sirius had put a second bed in Harry's room so Ron would have a place to sleep. Harry just didn't have the heart to tell him that it was a waste of time and money. Ron had been sleeping in Hermione's room ever since they'd arrived. He just stored his stuff in Harry's room to humor Sirius.

"No, I'd rather stay up." Harry sighed as let his head fall against the couch. He and Hermione were sitting on the floor by the fire, while Ron lay sprawled out on the couch.

"I think that's a bad idea."

"Leave the bloke alone. If he wants to stay up, let him," Ron muttered as he opened one eye and looked down at Hermione who had dropped her head back on his knee.

"He needs his sleep," Hermione said as she turned to glare at Ron.

"What are you, his mother? He's a big boy, he can stay up," Ron barked back causing Harry to sigh in exasperation. The two of them would argue about anything. He'd never seen anything like it.

"You don't know what you're talking about. He can hardly keep his eyes open, his head hurts so badly. If you'd pay attention you'd noticed that he's been in pain all day. I had to do a healing charm on him, twice. He'll never make through tomorrow if he doesn't get some sleep."

"Is that true, Harry?" Ron questioned as he looked at him in concern.

"Thank you, Hermione," Harry growled as an answer to Ron's question.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ron said in such a hurt voice that Harry had to turn his attention back towards the fireplace.

"It's nothing. " Harry tired to say dismissively. But, his headache was hindering his ability to bluff effectively. He sounded worse than Ron, and Ron was the worse liar he knew.

Ron was about ready to say something else when three owls flew in through the window that was open due to the summer heat. They dropped their letters into his, Ron's and Hermione's laps.

Harry looked down to see the War Mage insignia stamped onto the back of the letter and decided that it couldn't possibly be good news. He dropped his head back against the couch and let Ron and Hermione open their letters instead.

"Jesus, they can't do that, can they?" Ron gasped in shock. "Hermione, let me see your letter."

Ron reached down to grab Hermione's letter out of her hand. Harry couldn't help but notice that Ron's face had gone pale and his hands were shaking. Ron's hands never shook.

"Oh, thank God," Ron sighed in relief as he read Hermione's letter. He handed Hermione back her letter before rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"What does your letter say?" Hermione asked in concern as she turned around to reach for Ron's letter. Unfortunately, Ron was faster. He got a hold of it first, and then jumped up, stuffing it in his pocket before sitting in another chair.

"It doesn't matter what mine says," Ron said quickly before he looked at Harry's unopened envelope. "Open it."

Harry opened it and read over the letter before he looked up again.

"Tell me what yours says," Harry demanded of Ron.

"It doesn't matter. . ."

Harry jumped up and rounded on Ron, his headache suddenly forgotten. "Give me the letter, Ron."

"Fuck you! It's my letter," Ron whispered defiantly.

"I swear to god. . . I'll make you give it to me if you don't hand me the fucking letter," Harry growled as he leaned in and rested his hands on the arms of the chair Ron was sitting in.

"I'd like to see you try." Ron smirked as he arched an eyebrow at Harry.

Harry knew he could indeed take the letter from Ron by force, but being that Ron's letter was in his pocket. Well, he and Ron weren't that close.

Harry turned and looked Hermione over his shoulder. In that instant the battle lines were drawn and Harry knew whose side she was on. Apparently, so did Ron, because he jumped up, catching Harry by surprise.

Hermione was at Ron's side in an instant. He didn't stand a chance against her speed and before he knew it, Hermione had thrown her shoulder into his chest and kicked his feet out from under him. Someone of Ron's size didn't fall lightly and the house shook with the force of his weight crashing to the ground.

Harry had regained his own footing by that time and was able to pin Ron down just long enough for Hermione to fish into his pocket and pull out the letter triumphantly.

Harry jumped off Ron the instant Hermione announced she had the letter. He knew from experience that Ron had no qualms about throwing a punch at his best mate. Hermione, however remained seated on his knees as she read the letter, leaning quickly to the side every time Ron made a swipe for it.

Hermione had been almost jovial at her and Harry's triumph over Ron but as she read the letter the smile faded from her face. Ron stopped trying to grab it and sat up, pulling Hermione further onto his lap.

"It'll be alright, love," Ron sighed as he easily plucked the letter out of Hermione's grasp and tossed it aside.

"No, it won't," Hermione breathed a second before she buried her head in the curve of Ron's neck.

Ron's hands ran up and down her back and Harry watched in amazement as Ron whispered softly into Hermione's ear, things beyond his hearing, but it didn't matter, the endearment was there. If he had any doubts that Ron was in love with Hermione, they were dispelled right then.

Harry leaned down quietly and grabbed the letter that had drifted across the floor. He walked over to the chair and sat to read it.

Dear Mr. Weasley,

You are hear by formally ordered by the Ministry of Magic to report to duty at the War Mage offices on Monday June 15^th 1997.

You'll be fully briefed upon such time. As you well know, any and all information regarding your objectives and activities as a War Mage is strictly confidential. It would be a clear violation of your clearance to relay information of your summons to duty to anyone outside the War Mage circle; this includes, but is not limited to, all members of your family except Mr. Charles Weasley whose clearance equals your own.

Any attempt to forgo your responsibilities to the Ministry will be seen as treason and will be dealt with as such.

Regards,

Henry Phillip Westchaser

Head of Department of Mysteries

Harry felt all the air leave him in one mighty gush. He'd known it was bad, just not this bad. He could easily see why Hermione had dissolved to tears. Hell, he felt like doing it. Ron had no choice but to report to duty. Being charged with treason, especially during wartime, was no light offence. Not that it mattered, Ron would go anyway.

From what Harry knew of War Mage operations since the prison break, it didn't look good. There was so much activity going on that they saved all the most dangerous missions for the War Mages leaving everything else to the Aurors. It was only a matter of time before Ron got hurt, or worse. . .

"I'll be careful," Harry heard Ron murmur softly to Hermione whose shoulders were now shaking. Her face buried even deeper into Ron's neck, her fingers were almost white where they gripped his shoulders.

"No, you won't. When are you ever? " Hermione gasped between sobs. "You'll be all alone. I can't let you go all alone. . ."

"I won't be all alone. I'll have Charlie."

"Charlie's going off with Aki, you said so yourself," Hermione argued, mentioning Charlie's girlfriend who worked for special operations in the Department of Mysteries.

"Well, not forever. I'm hoping the bloke's coming back."

"I'm going with you," Hermione said firmly as she lifted her head and looked at Ron.

Ron had been smiling, but stopped at her statement. "Don't be daft. You don't have to go, why would you?"

"They asked me to come," Hermione said as she sat back a little and began to pick an invisible piece of dirt off her uniform.

"Exactly, they asked you. You weren't ordered. The only reason you trained to be a War Mage was to be able to protect yourself, no one expects anymore of you. There's no reason for you to actually go into service," Ron said so quickly that Harry could tell he was trying to keep the panic out of his voice. "Harry, tell her. . . tell her, she doesn't have to go."

"It wouldn't be my place to tell her that, Ron. I'm going too," Harry said as he got up and went to Sirius' liquor cabinet. He didn't know who needed a drink more, but he was pretty sure all three of them could use one.

"You can't go. I know you can't. You're not seventeen, yet. They can't order minors into service. . ." Ron said as he let go of Hermione for a moment to reach for Harry's letter that was still laying on the couch.

Ron sat back up and read through Harry's letter. He flipped to the second page and let out a barking laugh before he handed the letter to Hermione.

"You're not going anywhere. There's no way Sirius is signing this, " Ron said as he held up the permission form that was included with Harry's letter.

"Sirius' isn't signing what?" Sirius' asked as he tied his robe closed and looked from Hermione, who was still sitting on Ron's lap to Harry who was standing at the liquor cabinet.

Harry had been in the process of ignoring Ron and filling three glasses with Muggle Bourbon when he heard Sirius walk up. With the battle that was about to ensue, being caught nicking some alcohol was the least of Harry's concerns.

"He's signing it. He just doesn't know it yet," Harry said confidently as he went ahead and downed his glass in one shot. His headache was very noticeable again. He needed the drink.

Ron lifted Hermione off his lap and stood, taking back Harry's letter in the process. He handed it to Sirius and then grabbed his own glass, drinking it faster than Harry had. He picked up the third glass and down that one, too, before filling it again and walking back to the couch to sit next to Hermione. He handed her the drink and Harry had to laugh when he saw Hermione lean down to smell it, wrinkling her nose in a way only Hermione could.

"No, thank you. I like my brain cells," Hermione said primly as she handed the drink back to Ron.

"Go ahead and drink it, Hermione. You have plenty of brain cells to spare. One drink won't kill you. Your nerves are shot, it'll help," Ron said as he put the drink back into Hermione's hand.

Harry had been so caught up in watching Ron and Hermione's battle of wills concerning one little drink that he'd almost forgot about Sirius.

"Ron's right, there's no way I'm signing this. The Ministry can go fuck themselves," Sirius said sharply as he looked up from the letter.

"Sirius!" Remus scolded as he too walked in. He looked around the room and arched an eyebrow at Hermione who was coughing over the drink, while Ron rubbed her back. "What's going on?"

Remus walked over and picked up the bottle Harry had just used to fill up his glass again. He held up the bottle to Sirius, voicing the silent question of why he was letting the three of them drink.

Sirius seemed obvious to any reprimand. His hand shook as he took the bottle and muttered a distracted "Thanks." Then fell heavily into the chair, taking a long drink straight out of the bottle, while Remus stared at him strangely.

"Okay, " Remus said in a long drawn out sigh, then turned to Harry. "You've finally pushed him over the edge, haven't you?"

"Apparently," Harry agreed as he looked at Sirius who seemed to need a few more drinks before he dared speaking.

"Care to elaborate?" Remus prompted as he took the drink out of Harry's hand and set it down.

"The Department of Mysteries has asked me to volunteer for full time War Mage duty. Sirius isn't so keen on the idea. . ."

"And are you?"

"They ordered Ron into service. He'll be tried for treason if he doesn't report. What do you think?" Harry said to Remus, but was sure to speak loud enough for Sirius to hear.

"They did this on purpose, you know that. They're using Ron as bait to get all three of you. Did they send a letter to Hermione, too?" Sirius asked. He still sounded panicked, but the alcohol seemed to have calmed him somewhat.

"Yes." Ron confirmed as he closed his eyes in guilt.

"I'm not signing the letter Harry. I'm sorry. You don't know how bad it is out there. Our side is getting slaughtered. The Ministry's losing people everyday, good people, highly trained people. . ."

"You are signing the letter! I'm not letting Ron go alone."

"No, Ron'll be okay. He's tough. He'll have his brother," Sirius whispered as he avoided looking at Ron.

"Bull Shit, Sirius! You don't mean that! You won't let me send my best mate out alone, I know you won't," Harry yelled.

"I would, Harry. You're my responsibility. I'm suppose to keep you safe. I promised your parents I'd keep you safe."

"You want to talk about my parents. . . Fine! What if my Dad had got a letter like Ron's? Would you let Prongs go without you? What if Remus had got the letter, would you let him go? Would you, Sirius?" Harry saw Sirius wince at the mention of his father, but he didn't let it stop him. There was too much at stake.

"We're not talking about me. . ."

"Would my father have let you go? If you had got the letter would James Potter have let you go off to war alone? Is that the kind of person my father was?" Harry questioned, waving Remus' hand off his shoulder when he went to stop him.

"No. . . Never," Sirius said, shaking his head as though saying anything else was impossible.

"Would he have done anything to go with you, Sirius?" Harry asked more softly as he got down on his knee in front of Sirius. "Even hurt the feelings of the one man he truly loved like a father, would he have done that?"

"Yes," Sirius said as he blinked rapidly to stop himself from crying.

"Well, how can you expect any less of his son?"

"James is dead. . ." Sirius voice cracked as he said it and he put his hand over his eyes momentarily.

"He is. . . That's true. But, he was good man. Let me be a good man, Sirius," Harry pleaded as he reached for the hand of his godfather.

"You are a good man, Harry." Sirius said as he stood up and grabbed a pen, signing the paper he swore he wouldn't. He tossed the paper bitterly at Harry, then turned to go back to bed. "It's just too fucking bad for the rest of us, that only the good die young."