The Last Kiss

Risky, isn't it?

~2~

Six years had past since Renae had last looked upon the great oak doors leading into Hogwarts castle. Sirius stood beside her. "What's wrong?"

She looked over at him, knowing very well he could tell she was shaking. "It's strange, coming back." She turned back to the doors, "all of a sudden I'm not sure I can do this."

"Of course you can. You've already come this far," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She was quickly swept back to the first time he ever touched her. Like before, the gentle weight of his hand comforted her, as his fingers lightly gripped her shoulder. Renae closed her eyes, letting the memory of that day flood back.

**(Flashback)**

Renae stood outside the great oak doors to Hogwarts castle, along with the other first years. Her parents had been sent to Britain only a month before, and she was still getting use to the climate. Her robes and cloak didn't seem to help a bit on the boat ride, for the damp chill air cut through to the bone.

Standing with her new classmates, she suddenly found herself very afraid. She missed her friends in New Hampshire, all of whom were starting at Blakmore while she stood in front of these huge doors, cold and friendless.

Hagrid, the huge man who had lead them to this spot, made his way to the front of the crowd and pushed the heavy doors open as if they were made of paper. Stepping aside, Renae let most of the other students go in before her. She preferred the back, where she could hide, at least until she had the courage to be seen. A cool breeze blew and she wrapped her cloak around her tighter.

"You look like your freezing!"

She turned to see a tall, dark haired boy standing next to her. His smile was warm and she found it hard not to beam back. "I am freezing!"

He stepped closer to her, chuckling. "Then why are you just standing here?"

Realizing how stupid it would sound to tell him she wanted to be the last one in, she shrugged her shoulders and told him the first thing to pop into her head. "I don't know anyone to walk with."

Smiling, the boy stretched out his hand. "Sirius Black, and you are?"

"Renae Wallis," she answered as another breeze blew, making her shiver. He chuckled again, pulling back his hand, realizing she was too busy keeping warm to release her cloak.

"There, now you know someone to walk with," he put his hand on her shoulder and began leading her into the Entrance Hall, "now let's get inside before you turn blue."

** (End of Flashback)**

Sirius released her shoulder and pushed open the great oak doors, snapping Renae back into the present. As soon as she crossed the threshold into the Entrance Hall, Professor McGonagall greeted them. She looked just the same as Renae remembered.

"Renae Wallis, welcome back!"

"Hello, Professor McGonagall," she said, setting down her satchel. The two quickly embraced.

"Oh, please, call me Minerva. You're not a student anymore, Renae."

"Alright, Minerva," she lightly chuckled. That sounds so strange coming out of my mouth.

McGonagall gave a smile and motioned to her right. "I'll show you to your room," she looked at Sirius and then Renae's trunks, "would you mind handling those dear?" With a grunt of disapproval, he levitated them in front of him.

Sirius followed behind them, his wand aimed at the trunks floating in front of him as McGonagall lead them through the corridors. "Albus hoped you would come. I as well," she looked back at Sirius, "I trust there were no problems?" Sirius faced turned red.

"Are you insinuating I would cause some sort of problem?" Sirius asked as Renae chuckled.

McGonagall raised her eyebrow. "Well Sirius, you may be an Auror, and a good one at that, but you still have quite the mischievous streak in you." Sirius' face contorted. Not missing an opportunity, Renae quickly chimed in.

"Well, besides the unruly chalk, missing quill, books glued shut, papers flying through the air, general chaos, and amazing white rat; I'd say he was quite the gentleman." McGonagall gave them a questioning look as Sirius' jaw nearly hit the floor. Renae fought back a laugh.

"Thanks, Renae," he snarled.

"Your welcome," she grinned. Renae one, Sirius nothing! Just like old times.

They stopped in front of a painting of violets. "How appropriate," Sirius chuckled. McGonagall stepped forward.

"Falcon," the panel opened to reveal a narrow passageway to the chamber, "I thought you would remember it easily," McGonagall added, looking at Renae.

"Proctor Falcons. I think I can remember my old hall's mascot."

McGonagall gave her a smile. "Well, I will leave you to get settled. Good night."

"Good night," Sirius and Renae said in unison as they watched McGonagall walk down the corridor and disappear around a corner.

Renae tapped Sirius on the shoulder, "Well, come on." She turned and walked into the passageway.

"What, you're not going to help carry the trunks now that McGonagall's gone?"

"You've done fine so far," she turned around and met his gaze as he stood there with his hands on his hips, "or is it too much for you?" she added, as if talking to a five year old.

He quickly levitated the trunks once more and pointed them down the passageway. "Women!"

****

Sirius sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace as Renae unpacked. The room was beautiful, and warm. Sitting, facing the large windows to the left of the fireplace, he rested his arm on top of the couch. "Nice room."

"Yeah, it is isn't it?" Renae looked up from the dresser across from her bed, only yards away from him. He couldn't help but stare as she bent over her trunk to retrieve more clothes. As she did, she looked over and their eyes met. Motionless, staring at one another, an awkward silence fell over them.

Sirius was becoming very uncomfortable. It was taking all his willpower to resist going over, wrapping his arms around the woman, and pulling her into the kiss he so greatly desired. Damn it; get out of here before you lose it!

"Well, I guess I better be going," he said, pulling his eyes away from her. Renae dropped the clothes in her arms onto the floor with a distinctive flump.

"Already?" she asked as she walked around the couch, her smile replaced with a look Sirius could only describe as fear.

"Something wrong?"

"Ah, no, not exactly," she said, as she began to wring her hands.

"What is it?" Sirius pointed to her hands, her usual give away.

She sat down beside him, crossing her legs. The slit in the side of her skirt exposed her legs up to the knee; he tried to not stare as the back of his neck became warm. "I just... well," she was stammering now, which was very unlike her, "I hate being alone in a new place. You're going to laugh but, I can't sleep and I get, well..."

"Scared?" he finished.

"Yeah. Stupid I know," she put her head in her hands, but she didn't succeed in hiding the red that swept over her face. Sirius wanted to pull her to him, protecting her from all her fears. "No. Who doesn't find a new place a little frightening? I do."

"Really," she looked up at him, "I never saw you as the type."

"Well, I don't usually admit that," he started to laugh. "Come to think of it, I've never admitted that." No matter how hard he tried, he always found himself telling her exactly what was on his mind; well, everything but his true feelings for her.

Her soft laughter sent a warm tingle down his back. Sirius adjusted his collar. Should I? It was doubtful, but he was willing to give it a try. "I, ah, could stay if you'd like."

Smiling, she grabbed his hand, "Would you?"

Startled, he nodded as the realization of his staying that night sunk in. Now you're really in trouble!

Sirius tried desperately not to think about the softness of her skin, or the warmth of her touch that radiated up his arm. Oh, how long he had wished she would do just that. Like a second year student, he found himself wishing she would move closer, lean against him so he could breath deep that violet scented skin.

Oh, Merlin!

She had scooted closer, their legs now pressing against each other. The way she had her legs crossed had sent her one leg crossing over his, just barely touching his knee.

Dear, Merlin, take my mind off her. Anything, any thought, please!

Renae reached over and took hold of his hand. Inside, he felt as if a tornado was whirling in his stomach.

"Sirius, do you remember that day after Potions, when you asked me to the Yule Ball?"

His heart shot up into his throat. They had never talked about what had happened that day; they had always acted as if that day had never even occurred. Why would she bring it up now? He tried to answer her, but the lump in his throat prevented a single word from escaping.

Her hand squeezed his. "Sirius?"

Quickly he choked down the lump in his throat. "Y, yeah."

"Do you remember?"

The warmth of her touch was making its way up his neck. "Y, yes, I remember. W, why do you ask?" he stammered, sweat trickling down his neck. Does that fire have to be so damn hot?

"I was wondering... I think about that day a lot," she looked into his eyes, "and I often wonder if I did the right thing."

Damn, this collar is tight. He reached up and fought with the already unbuttoned collar. "Hhh, how do you mean?"

Renae now held his hand in both of hers. Sirius' heart was now pounding against his ribs. No other woman had ever had this effect on him, had him so close to falling to his knees.

"I almost said yes," she looked down, "but I was too afraid." With his free hand, he lifted her head, and stared into her eyes as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Afraid of what?" he whispered, cupping her soft chin in his palm.

"Afraid of having my heart broken," tears rolled down her cheeks, "but here I did it to myself by never telling you how much I loved you."

He wiped away her tears with his thumb. It always broke his heart to see her cry.

"I always knew you loved me, we are friends after all," he chuckled. She leaned into him, her chest pressing against him. Sweat continued to bead down his neck and spine. Sirius was sure the back of his shirt was drenched by now.

"No, Sirius, not as friends," she smiled, "risking it all, I'm telling you...I love you."

Without a second thought, he gently slid his hand behind her neck, pulling her closer until his lips pressed against hers. The scent of violets filled his nostrils as her lips parted, inviting his tongue into the warm, sweet cavern. Slowly her hands trailed their way up his chest as he pulled her closer. Holding her tight, the heat generating between their bodies was becoming almost unbearable.

****

Renae felt like she was floating. His kiss was everything he was, sweet and gentle, yet playful and strong. She could feel the sweat on the back of his neck as her hands ran up, her fingers wrapping themselves in his hair. Gently, he began leaning back, carefully climbing on top of her. The weight of his body on hers sent shivers down her spine, and she relished every moment of it.

His touch was gentler than she ever thought possible from those strong, playful hands. Often she had dreamed what that very moment would be like, but she never imagined it like this. She let out a soft moan as he deepened the kiss, his hands running down her chest. Oh, Merlin, if I'm dreaming, don't let me ever wake!

His fingertips slowly trailed down her side until they reached the slit of her skirt. Finding it, he began to lightly run his fingers on her bare skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. The tingle his touch sent through her body was becoming excruciating. She never felt like this before, every inch of her body was crying out for him. If it wasn't satisfied, she felt she would go mad.

Sirius softly released her lower lip from between his lips. "Are you sure you want to take a risk?" he whispered, his eyes melting her with their gaze.

I should have done this years ago, she thought with a smile. "I already have."

His heart was beating against hers, his eyes pulling her in. She'd give anything to lose herself in those dark pools for eternity. He brushed her hair back, then gently ran his fingertips down her cheek and along her neck. Wanting to savour every sensation, she closed her eyes, losing all sense of time and place. Letting a soft moan escape her lips, she opened her eyes to see his smile.

"I meant it when I said I would never hurt you. I loved you," he wiped a happy tear off her cheek, his voice wavering as he continued, "I still love you."

Pulling him closer, their lips again met as his hands felt their way down her side once more. Renae felt the world spin around them as she lost herself in his caress.

****

His every wish was coming true. He could feel her body shiver as goose bumps rose in the wake of his touch. Smooth as silk, her skin was warm and fragrant. Softly he began to kiss his way down her neck, drawing supple moans from her lips as she lightly clawed at his back. From her fingertips, she drew tingles down his back, which excited him even more. He knew he was more than prepared and gently pressed himself against her, she gasped at the sensation that sent sparks through him as well.

No, you can't, not yet.

But she wants the same thing, why hold back?

Do you want to hurt her?

No.

Then don't push her; she came to you, remember.

He was arguing with himself. One side wanted to proceed to the obvious conclusion; the other wanted to take the safer road. He couldn't risk it all for one night of passion, he wanted more than that, he wanted forever. The heat swelling from the friction between their bodies was getting out of control.

Sirius, stop!

****

He quickly pulled away from her. "We can't. I'm sorry."

"What? Why?" She felt her heart almost stop.

Hovering over her, his body still pulsing against hers, he stared into her eyes. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to go too fast." That was the last thing she ever expected to hear from Sirius, Hogwarts' Casanova.

"Sirius, I've known you for eleven years. I know everything about you, and you know everything about me. How much slower could we have possibly gone?" The surprise in his eyes made her giggle.

"But..."

She put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer. "Sirius, I don't want to wait. I've waited long enough," her voice dropped to a soft whisper as their lips almost touched, "I want you, now and always."

He closed the small distance between them, pressing his lips to hers once more. She let all her inhibitions go to the wind as her body succumbed to his touch. Renae felt a storm building up inside of her as his fingers grazed her neckline, his well-prepared body pressing against her. Sweet Merlin, he's good at this! With so much practice he should be. She chuckled at the thought.

"What?" he whispered as his lips pulled away from her collarbone.

"Nothing," she giggled, "that just tickled."

With a devious smile, he began unbuttoning her shirt.

**~~~~~**

Oh, thank Merlin! Harry couldn't be more grateful that he didn't have to relive more of that from her eyes. It was like making love to his godfather, on second thought, it was making love to his godfather. He shivered as he opened his hand and looked at the violet. How was it doing this?

I need to put this back before it happens again! As his hand sat above the wooden box, his curiosity grabbed hold of him again

Why hasn't he ever told me about her?

He knew there had to be a reason. Maybe this little flower held the answer. He slowly wrapped his fingers around the violet again. At first, he thought the flower was done, for no tingling sensation came. Then, just before he was going to call it a night, the spinning sensation began once again, slowly climbing up his arm...