Proof that Witches Mature Faster

"Oi, Harry!"

Ron and Hermione were sitting at a table outside Florian Fortescue's, each enjoying a mammoth sundae. Ron had a Chocolate Fortifier (three scoops of chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips, hot fudge, chocolate-tinged whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles, and chopped peanuts), while Hermione was indulging in a Fruitlover's Fantasy (a scoop of each of the available sorbet flavors - kiwi, pineapple, strawberry, lemon, raspberry, and coconut - with a different fruit syrup on top, all charmed not to mix together when they melted).

"Have you been buying more school things then, Harry?" Hermione was always a bit too keen to hear about new school supplies.

"No," Harry told her, "I finished that ages ago. Nope, I've just been wandering around, avoiding Fred and George, the usual ..."

He sat and looked at the menu. He'd tried almost everything on it already, so he had moved to some of the more experimental concoctions in the last few days. At last, he ordered a Butterscotch Peach Tango.

Florian Fortescue looked inordinately pleased. "No one ever orders that one!" he sighed happily before disappearing into his shop.

"Wonder why," gagged Ron, looking at the menu.

"Hush, Ron!" Hermione admonished, "Mr. Fortescue will hear you!"

"Aw, who -"

"Ron," said Harry curiously, "why are your ears blue?"

Ron furiously smoothed his hair (it had grown very long over the summer) down around his ears, but there was an unmistakable tinge of sky-blue starting about half-way up each of them.

"Oooohh, Ron, did you do magic over the summer?" Hermione reached over to brush Ron's red hair back, but he jerked away, and she drew back her hand as though she had burned it.

"No! And if I did I wouldn't have ruddy well turned my ears blue, then, would I?"

"No need to snap my head off," Hermione said in a surprisingly amiable voice. Harry noted the pleasant effect ice cream was having on her for future use. "Have some more of your sundae and tell us what happened."

"Right," began Ron, "so it was about two weeks ago ..."

All right, so it probably wasn't the brightest thing I've ever done, but Fred and George have done much, much worse, and haven't ever gotten in half as much trouble as this.

Everyone but me was out of the house, and I was supposed to be de-gnoming the garden, but I had finished that (mostly), and all I really wanted was a lie-out on the hammock. But I'm a bit hungry after all that heavy exertion, so I go to the kitchen.

There's nothing in there except some marmalade and some Muggle food called Vienna sausages that Dad bought (and I'm not that hungry, thank God), and I've eaten all the stuff I got for Midsummer's Eve. Then I remember.

Ginny's stash of chocolate.

She keeps it in the drawer of her bedside table, and she can't possibly miss one little bar, can she? I mean, come on, it's only candy, and, all right, she did mention to me once or twice that she will remove my ribcage and wear it as a hat if I ever touch that stuff, but I'm desperate.

So I go up to her room, and I feel like I'm going to be found out any second, but no one is home, so I go to the table and open the drawer, and there it is, one beautiful, perfect, lone chocolate square. It's just laying there, all by itself, the last of its kind, begging to be eaten. Well, never let it be said that Ronald M. Weasley let such a call go unanswered.

So the Mum and the twins and Ginny get back a bit later, and how was I supposed to know that she'd go straight up to her room to get it? I meant to replace it anyway, as soon as I got my pocket money.

Then she starts to shriek and comes flying down the stairs and lunges at me, and she's really pretty strong - I guess from having all the older brothers - and she's choking me and Fred and George are just standing there laughing (gits). I mean, I'm not supposed to hit her or anything, so I just pull her off of me by her hair (you would think she would have learned not to wear pigtails by now) and I have no idea where she learned those names she was calling me ... (actually, I do).

Suddenly, she bursts out crying, and I don't know what to do, and apparently neither do Fred or George, because even I know that laughing at her isn't the right thing, so I just tell her I'll buy her a new bar, and that it's just chocolate and that she doesn't need to get so blue over a bit of candy, she's acting like her freaking cat died or something ...

And she just looks over at me, and then she's not crying, she's screaming again

"Blue?!?! You sneak into my room and steal from me, and you have the nerve to tell me I don't need to be blue?!?!" And then I feel this ringing in my ears from her screaming so damn loud, and then, ... and then, the twins are practically passed out from laughter, and Ginny's gone all white, and I see myself in the hall mirror ...

MY EARS ARE BLUE.

Mum comes running, and then she starts to laugh, too, and she says it will wear off in the next month or so, and it serves me right, anyway. She won't change them back, she says. That has to qualify as child torture.

"And that's how it happened. That's why my ruddy ears are blue," fumed Ron. "I just can't see why she went all nutters on me. I mean, come on, it's only chocolate."

"Yeah, that's what I don't understand," said Harry. "Why are you laughing, Hermione?"

"I'm not laughing," lied Hermione, although her eyes danced and her lips twitched as she shoveled an extra-large spoonful of raspberry sorbet into her mouth.

"Don't hold out on us, Hermione, what do you know that we don't?" Ron pushed.

"Well, ah, why do girls eat chocolate?"

"It tastes good, obviously," offered Harry.

"Ron eats chocolate because it tastes good, Harry, but why do girls eat chocolate?"

"Look, Hermione, if you're going to play games ..." Harry looked to Ron for support, but Ron had gone quite red, and was shaking his head.

"You can't be serious, Hermione, I mean, I mean ... it's Ginny, for chrissakes!"

"So?" Hermione was looking determinedly at her ice cream bowl.

"Wait, what are you guys talking about?"

"Hold up! That can't be it, because she had that stash last year! I remember her warning me about touching it before school even started." Ron sat back, looking both triumphant and a little relieved.

"Huh? I don't get it."

Ignoring Harry's confusion, Hermione dug a very large book from her bag and hid behind it. "Don't be stupid, Ron. Witches mature much earlier than wizards, and Muggles in general. Didn't you learn anything from having older brothers?"

"Oh my god ..." Ron blanched, and buried his head between his knees as though he were about to faint. Harry was too busy checking to see if Ron was okay (and trying to figure out what the hell was going on) for either of them to hear Hermione's small voice drifting out from behind her book:

"That's how all the fans will justify all the wild sex we'll have as fifth years."