Deja Vu

Chapter 7 - Aftermath

Padfoot,

Hey, haven't talked to you much today. So how are things? Look, mate, I know you and Lily have been talking a lot lately, which is great because it means you're at least both trying to be friends! Anyway, you can't really see, because I'm behind you, but I'm grinning. But the thing is, I haven't seen her all day, and I've asked her friends, but they don't know where she is either, so... well, you don't have any ideas, do you? I'm just getting really worried. I love her, you know.

- Prongs.

J - Yeah, well, you know us. I think she might be in the hospital wing... she's ok, but she said she was feeling ill, so I don't really know. Maybe she's just having a lie down somewhere. But, um, I don't think you have anything to worry about, really. She'll be ok, whatever's wrong.

- Sirius B.

Padfoot,

Yeah, ok, I guess you're right (for a change!). Have you noticed her acting differently recently? She's developing more of an appetite and sleeping a lot more, and she just seems... I don't know, but not right. Padfoot, do you think Lily might be pregnant? Anyway, there's something I've been meaning to ask you... is everything ok between you and Moony? Only I've noticed you're acting odd around him recently, and he's told me you're being weird concerning, well, you know. Anyway, just let me know, ok? We're best friends, we're supposed to tell each other everything - that means no secrets, so don't worry about what I'll think and be done with it, ok?

- Prongs.

J - I wouldn't know about Lily being pregnant. Maybe you should ask her, or just wait for her to tell you. If she is, she probably will, right? I'm fine, it's just my family being stupid as usual. They don't think it's right that a member of the Black family should be bisexual. Apparently if I made up my mind, everything would be fine either way, but then I told them they could screw the Black family name and all that because I didn't want anything to do with it. But everything between Remus and me is fine... well, actually, no, it's not. I'm not sure it's what I want anymore. I thought I loved him, but... thing's change, you know. I've changed. I'm shrugging, though you can't see, being in front of me and all that. I'm sure everything will work itself out.

- Sirius B.

Black: You probably didn't notice because you're so preoccupied writing to Potter, but Lily just got back from the whole abortion thing, and she doesn't look so good. Do you think we should see if she's ok? Also, I heard maybe you liked me, so I thought I'd confront you on that... explain.

Severus.

S - I do not like you, you overgrown bat! Who in their right mind would ever fall for a hook-nosed, greasy-haired thing like you, Snivellus? Who told you that anyway? And, yes, of course I bloody noticed Lily was back, but it's not like we can just interrupt the lesson and shout across to her, is it? I'll talk to her after, and I don't care what you do.

- Sirius B.

P.S. I DO NOT LIKE YOU!

Black: Interesting reply. That repetition sounds horribly like denial, and those insults only make me more convinced. You like me, don't like that you like me, and so you throw it back in my face in some kind of backward paradox. Well, I'll tell you this: I'm so glad you're in denial, because facing up to the fact you like me would really suck. Also, as to the Lily comment, you really are as stupid as you look. I meant we could write her a note, moron.

Severus.

S - In case you're not looking, my middle finger is pointed in your direction. I don't care about your little 'denial' psychoanalysis of me and my character, and I totally don't care what you think of me as a person. You are a worthless piece of scum and I would not even go as far as to spit on you if you were on fire. And I've written a note to Lily already, for your information, so it looks like you're still - as always - one step behind me. Don't bother writing back, Slytherin.

- Sirius B.

Black: I will write back, actually. You sent that note along to Lily after I pointed it out, so I think I kick your arse big time. Also, stop trying to impress me with your pathetic words because it's not going to work. I'd rather burn in hell for a million years than have you put out any flames, and no one cares what you're like as a person, so why would I even bother analysing you?

Severus.

PS. You say 'Slytherin' like it's a bad thing.

L - Are you ok? I noticed you looked a bit shaken up... did the thing go all right? Anyway, this is just a quick note, really, so please reply and let me know what's going on with you, ok? Thanks.

Sirius B.

Sirius and Severus,

I'm fine, just a little mixed up, I guess. I didn't realize the abortion would take so much out of me, but other than that, I'm ok. I wish it could have been different... I suppose if it had been James' child, or if it hadn't been the product of an affair/one night stand thing, the whole thing would have been different. But I always believed that sometimes things happen for a reason, and I don't know what that reason was, but I think what happened had to happen, and nothing we said or did could have changed that, at all. So don't feel bad - Merlin knows I don't - but remember that. In the end, I don't think any of it really matters anyway. And please actually pass this on to Severus, and don't just ignore that there are two names on this note.

Lily.