Deja Vu

Chapter 5 - Three Weeks Into Term

Sirius,

Look, I really need to talk to you. Is anyone watching you (friends, etc.) because if not, I'll write it to you. Please reply soon because it's really important.

Lily.

L - Yeah, sure, you can tell me anything. No one's watching me; they're all being boring and actually trying to read Chapter 12 of the textbook. What is it? Are you ok?

- Sirius B.

Sirius,

Ok then, I'm going to write it here: I think I'm pregnant. I'm really, really sorry, and I honestly had no idea. Please don't be mad at me, only I'm scared, Sirius, and I don't know what to do.

Lily.

L - Shit. I don't believe it... are you sure? I mean, have you checked with Pomfrey and all that? And, no offence, but do you know if it's James' or mine? Because I know we had whatever that was in the Easter holidays, but I don't know if you and James have been... you know. So, anyway, do you know?

- Sirius B.

Sirius,

It's definitely yours. James and I haven't slept together for a while, and yes I know what happened at Easter - that's how we ended up in this mess. No, I was going to see Madam Pomfrey after Defence Against the Dark Arts, but I was wondering if maybe you'd come with me, please.

Lily.

L - Of course I'll come with you. And, look, whatever you decide to do about the baby (if it turns out you actually are pregnant) is fine by me. I'm with you no matter what you decide to do, ok? Should we tell James and Remus or not?

- Sirius B.

Sirius,

I don't know. I'm so messed up at the moment, I don't know if I could even face James, let alone tell him I'm carrying his best friend's baby. I think we should wait until we've decided what to do first. Don't reply to this, I haven't read anything. See you after class then. Just nod, ok?

Lily.

Lily: Hi, how are you? I haven't spoken to you much lately, but you seem a bit out of sorts and I saw you and Black exchange a few looks - is there anything you want to talk about? Let me know if you need me, ok? You know I'd do anything for you; you're my best friend.

Severus.

Severus,

Hey, I'm fine. Well, actually, I'm not, but I don't really want to talk about it. I know you'd do anything for me, and the same back to you. You're my best friend, too. Thanks, but there's nothing I really want to talk about.

Lily.

Lily: Ok, whatever you want. Look, I was just wondering whether Black said anything about me over the holidays? I know he was with you, so I thought maybe he might have mentioned me. It doesn't matter if he didn't, but I just thought I'd ask.

Severus.

Severus,

He did mention you, but only laughing at you, really. Although there was one time he fell asleep in the middle of this film we were watching (everyone else had already gone to bed) and I think he dreamt of you, because he moaned your name in his sleep, so you may have a chance. I could just ask him if you like.

Lily.

Lily: Really? He did that? Does he know that you know? And does he remember? What film were you watching, just out of curiosity? Yes, it would be great if you could ask him if he feels anything for me, but don't let him know that I asked you to. Are you sure there's nothing you want to talk about? Only, you look a bit down and as though you really want to confide in someone. I won't tell anybody, I swear.

Severus.

Severus,

Yes, he really did that, and yes he knows I know, but I don't know if he knows I know he knows I know, so don't say anything. He remembers, I'm sure of it, because I heard him muttering something to himself the other day (and never you mind what it was!). We were watching a Muggle film called Robin and Marian, if you must know. Ok, I'll tell you, but you actually can't tell anyone. I think I'm pregnant. Sirius is coming with me after DADA to see Pomfrey.

Lily.

Lily: You're pregnant? Then why's Black going with you and not Potter? I've seen Robin and Marian, but I don't think it's all that good. I'm not surprised Black fell asleep in it, really; the only decent person in it is that guy who played King Richard. Did you ask him yet, by the way? What did he say? And I have not got a clue what you mean about all those 'I know, he knows' things, so I'm going to strategically ignore them.

Severus.

PS. Are you sure it's Potter's baby, and not mine?

Severus,

It's not James' baby at all. It's either yours or Sirius', that's why he's coming. James doesn't know so don't say anything. I wasn't going to tell anyone until I knew for sure what was going to happen, so please just let it go. I like Robin and Marian, though the main guy (Robin) is really quite nice, isn't he? I've never thought about this before, but why do you like both guys and girls? It doesn't change anything between us that you do, like I said when you first told me, but is there a reason? No, actually, I haven't asked him yet, so just be patient. I'll tell you what he says when I've asked him.

Lily.

Sirius,

Hi, look; I just wondered if you had any feelings for Severus Snape? I remember you had that dream in the holidays and so... anyway, write back quickly.

Lily.

Lily: What do you mean 'just let it go'? You could be carrying my baby. You slept with Black? Does Potter know? I know you said he didn't know you were pregnant, but does he know you slept with his best mate? I know it will probably be really odd, but would you mind if I came with you to see Pomfrey as well? I just want to know about the baby and be there to hear and stuff. I don't mean to intrude, but can I come? Only if you don't mind, though.

Severus.

L - That dream was none of your business, so please forget about it. It doesn't matter if I do like him, because I'm with Remus and he's all that matters to me. Sorry if I sound rude, but... well, you know.

- Sirius B.

Sirius,

Ok, I get it; it's none of my business. Oh, and I have to ask you a favour: would you mind if Severus came with us to see Pomfrey after lesson, because I worked out the timing and it could be either yours or his. Just nod, thanks.

Lily.

Severus,

Yes, it's fine for you to come along. No, James doesn't know about any of this. I just said that because I'm tired of thinking about it, because it's all I've done for the last few days. Sorry to snap at you, but you know I love you anyway, don't you? Anyway, yes, I talked to Sirius and he says he does like you, but he's with Remus and that's it. Also, he told me not to tell you, so you don't know, ok? Don't write back - the bell will go soon.

Lily.