When I Call Your Name

When I Call Your Name

Harry Potter watched the clock, counting the minutes until he could go home to his wife. He'd spent the whole day thinking of her. Their second anniversary was a week away and he didn't know what to get her. She'd been a little down lately and he wanted to raise her spirits.

Harry arrived home a few minutes late that night. He called out for his wife. "Ginny?" There was no answer. He shrugged out of his cloak and went into the kitchen to get a snack. He made himself a sandwich and set it on the table. That's when he saw the note laying there. His sandwich forgotten, he started to read what Ginny had written.

Harry,

I don't know how to say this. I guess that's not a good way to start this kind of note. You might have noticed by now that I'm gone. I've left you. It's not that I don't love you. I need you to know that this was the hardest thing I've ever done. I do love you, Harry, but I'm not in love with you anymore. Oh god, you don't deserve this. I have to explain. I've been lying to you and to myself. I'm attracted to women. If I could change that I would be with you in a heartbeat, but I can't live a lie anymore. It's not fair to you. I've tried so hard to be happy as your wife. I wanted to want you so much. You were the man of my dreams, but I don't dream about men anymore. It would be stupid to say that I don't want to hurt you. I don't, but it's really unavoidable at this point. I know that telling you this in a note is a coward's way out, but I just couldn't face you. I'm sorry and I hope someday you can forgive me, for hurting you and for this note.

Sincerely,

Ginny

Harry gently placed the note on the table and backed away slowly. "Ginny? Are you home?" Suddenly the silence sounded ominous to him. Harry quickly climbed the stairs, not noticing all the little things that were missing downstairs. He got to their bedroom. "Ginny?" he called as he pushed the door open. The first thing he saw was the empty wardrobe on her side of the room. Harry sank onto the bed. She was really gone.

He'd known for a while that she'd been unhappy. It was little things, like the way she avoided looking him in the eye when she told him she loved him. For months now he had pretended not to notice. She'd been spending more and more time with friends and less... I'm attracted to women. Those four words kept repeating in his mind. When had she realized that? Where had she gone? Was there a specific woman in her life? An endless stream of questions tortured him until he heard the front door open. "Ginny?" He rushed downstairs, but stopped at the bottom when he saw who was there. Hermione was standing in the foyer.

"Hello, Harry. I talked to Ginny."

"Please tell me it wasn't you."

"What are you talking about? What wasn't me?"

"Did... Did she leave me for another woman?"

"There is another woman. Oh, it's not me. I'm not... Besides I'd never do that to R--" She gasped and covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, Harry!"

Harry walked over to the couch and sat down. "You should have sent Ron."

Hermione sat next to him. "Ron doesn't know yet. He's talking to Ginny right now. And when he does know, he'll just commiserate and tell you that she's crazy and it's a phase. I'm not going to do that. It's not a phase, Harry. She's put a lot of thought into this."

Harry got up and walked away. Hermione watched, confused. "Where are you going?"

"I want to show you something." He snatched the note off the table. "This is how I found out. This is how much thought she put into it." He thrust the piece of paper into her hand.

Hermione read it quietly. When she'd finished, she looked up at Harry. "I--"

"Why are you here, Hermione? What do you think you can tell me that will make this okay? Read it again, but this time substitute in 'men' and 'husband' and imagine you came home and found that."

Hermione looked down at the note again. "I don't suppose that there's anything--"

A familiar voice came from the doorway. "It's okay, Hermione." Harry turned around and saw Ginny. "I need to talk to Harry."

Hermione stood. "I'm going to leave you two alone."

When she was gone, Ginny sat down. "I didn't know she was going to come here. I was hoping to get back before you saw the note, but I see it's too late for that. That was the wrong way to tell you. It was so much easier that way though. I'm sorry, Harry."

"Is there anything I can say to get you to stay?"

"No, Harry. If I thought there was a chance for us, I would sit here and let you try to convince me, but nothing is going to change the fact that..." She paused. "I'm gay. That's not going to change. You were a wonderful husband. I just wasn't able to... I hope that someday we can be friends, but I'm not going to hold my breath."

"I don't know what to say. We were so perfect together."

"I'm so sorry. I gave you all the love I could. You don't know how hard I tried to feel the way I thought I was supposed to. If I was straight, I would... I guess I already said that in the note. I think I should go now. I just wanted to give you a chance to hear it in person, the way you should have."

Ginny started to leave. "Who is she?" asked Harry suddenly.

Ginny turned around. "I don't think that matters. I don't think it's going to make you feel better to know her name. I will tell you that it never went beyond a few kisses. I didn't cheat on you." She sighed. "Good-bye, Harry." She walked out and closed the door.

"Ginny, wait!" He ran to the door and threw it open, but she was already gone. "Ginny!"

END