A Little Chat with Luna

Hermione pulled the newspaper back toward her, closed it, glared for a moment at the pictures of the ten escaped Death Eaters on the front, then leapt to her feet.

"Where are you going?" said Ron, startled.

"To send a letter," said Hermione, swinging her bag onto her shoulder. "It...well, I don't know whether...but it's worth trying...and I'm the only one who can..."

"I hate it when she does that," grumbled Ron. Hermione sped off towards the Owlery.

It was quite cold in the Owlery, but that just made it more empty, thankfully. She didn't really feel like having anyone around when she wrote this letter. She pulled out her quill and a piece of parchment and set to work.

Rita Skeeter:

I have a job for you to do. Be at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade at 3:00 on the 14^th of February. You know the stakes.

Hermione Granger

Hermione rather thought that the letter came off as snappish, but she suspected if she lightened it up or told Rita what it was all about, Umbridge would find out and make things difficult. Well, more difficult than they already were. She didn't care much if Rita's feelings were wounded by her tone, anyway...if Rita actually had feelings.

She wandered over to a school owl, a large, handsome barn owl who immediately stuck out his leg. Hermione fumbled for a bit of string to bind the letter to his leg.

"I don't suppose you'd carry it in your beak?" Hermione asked the owl, feeling very silly. She slipped the note into his beak. He immediately dropped it. Hermione bent over to pick it up, thanking her lucky stars that it hadn't fallen in droppings.

"I have a bit of string you can borrow, if you like," said a familiar, dreamy voice from the doorway. Hermione stood up properly. It was just plain creepy how Luna Lovegood snuck up on you like that. She was wearing a necklace made of small birthday candles tied together and a bracelet of strung popcorn. Hermione didn't want to know.

"Er, hello, Luna. That would be great. Thanks." Hermione wasn't sure why Luna was being so cordial to her, but it would help with the next stage of her plan.

Hermione bound the letter to the owl's leg, and he flew off out the window. "I was just about to come looking for you, Luna. I need your help with something."

Luna cocked her head to the side, like a puppy. It was the sort of little mannerism Luna had that drove Hermione crazy. "What do you need me to do?"

"Well, Harry's a bit more worried than usual lately that people aren't hearing the truth, considering the Death Eaters' escape and everything. He's going to give an interview. We just need someone to print it. Do you think your father would be willing to print that?"

"I think Daddy would be interested. I'll send him an owl, but I'm sure he'll love the idea. It would help show the ministry for what it is." Hermione certainly couldn't argue with that.

Luna pulled her quill (a large pink one with little rhinestones) and added a bit to a letter she'd brought. After a second, she looked up. "Who are you going to get to write it?"

"Would Rita Skeeter do?"

"I thought she was on sabbatical. She hardly seems like the sort of person who'd support Harry now, at any rate."

"Don't worry about that," Hermione said, "I can get Rita to do it."

Luna seemed curious, but didn't pursue questioning. "Well, that will work to our advantage. Rita Skeeter's the one who started this mess, so readers will be more inclined to believe Harry's story. We can beat the Prophet at its own game."

"Exactly." Hermione smiled, glad that Luna had come to the same conclusion.

Luna finished her letter and tied it to the leg of a small brown owl. "Daddy will write back in a few days. The interview might not be printed for a month or two, though. There's an exposé on Crumple-Horned Snorkack poaching in Sweden coming in soon, and that will probably take precedence."

"Well, this is really important to the safety of the entire Wizarding World," Hermione said. "Are you sure you can't get it in sooner?"

"I'll see what I can do."

The two girls walked from the Owlery in silence for a while. They passed quite a few Slytherins wearing "Weasley is Our King" badges. Hermione briefly wondered if there was any way to stop all that rubbish.

"You seem distracted." Hermione thought it was a little rich for Luna to say that anyone else seemed distracted, but it was true. "Why are you distracted?"

"I'm a bit worried about Ron. Those badges and that stupid song are getting to him. I don't really know what to do to stop it."

Luna thought about this for a moment. "Well, it's gone too far; there's no way to stop it now...but you could beat them at their own game."

"How so?"

"You know, like what we're doing with the interview. You could make up another song and drown theirs out," Luna said, fiddling with her bracelet. The popcorn had gotten slightly crushed by now.

Hermione grinned. "That could work."

"Do you want to go to the library and write the lyrics?" Luna asked.

"Of course," Hermione hesitated. "But why are you helping me so much?"

"You, Harry, and Ronald have been very nice to me. Besides, I know you fancy Ronald and want him to feel better."

Hermione goggled at Luna, and then regained her composure. "What do you mean?" Had she been that obvious?

"It's as obvious as Cornelius Fudge's Umgubular Slashkilter. Of course you fancy him. You kissed him before his last Quidditch game," she said vaguely.

Hermione stared at Luna a bit more. The girl could be infuriating, but she was right. For once.

"Let's go to the library," Hermione said, smiling a bit.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Luna asked. She took Hermione's silence as her answer.

Hermione privately felt it was nice for someone else to know her secret.

"Besides, I know he fancies you." Hermione had never noticed how lovely the corridor leading to the library was.

She felt like doing something nice for Luna. What sort of thing could she do that the odd girl would like? "You know, if you want, I can make flames that won't burn you on that candle necklace of yours."

"Really?"

As a response, Hermione pointed her wand at the necklace, which ignited with her trademark warm, hand-held bluebell flames. Luna beamed. "Let's get started on those lyrics, Luna."

"I've got a great line about how Ronald's can block as well as a Canadian Plibertrirock."

Hermione had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. She was still Luna Lovegood, and all that entailed. She'd noticed something Hermione herself had missed, and it was the least she could do to consider what the other girl thought. Just not in this case.

"Maybe we should stick with a strict parody."