What The...

"We should... What did you just say?" Hermione's eyes widened with confusion. She was hoping she had heard him wrong.

Ron nodded his head.

"Yeah, the Bloody Baron bloody raped me. Turns out, he's always wanted to have sex with a Weasley." Ron said calmly.

Hermione shook her head, "You're taking it quite well."

In all of Hermione's years as being a witch, she thought she had heard everything. But rape by ghost was quite strange.

Ron's teeth began to chatter, and Hermione took him by the hand.

"Well, let's head to the room. Get you out of these clothes..."

"And then some," Ron tried to say seductively. But failed horribly.

Hermione smiled at him anyway and headed back to the stairs. Ron had begged her not to use the elevators, for fear of seeing something even more strangely than what he saw earlier.

By the time Hermione and Ron made it to the room, he had told her about his encounter with Dobby and Umbridge.

"That's the queerest thing I've ever heard of in my life," Hermione said, searching frantically for the hotel card.

"No, the Bloody Baron is," Ron said, searching as well.

Hermione pat her shirt pockets, her jeans pockets, and had even begun to take off her shoes until Ron stopped her.

"We'll just go down to the front lobby and get another card. If we think there's anything strange happening, we'll ignore it. I mean, this weekend is all about us, after all."

Hermione agreed to this, but couldn't believe that she would lose her key so easily.

"Isn't it strange that all these Hogwarts people are roaming the hotel? I mean, first McGonagall and Draco, then you see Peeves, the Bloody Baron my rapist, and Dobby and Umbridge." Ron was now so cold that he was beginning to shake.

"Almost there," Hermione said.

"What are you doing here?"

Hermione's mouth dropped and Ron clutched his stomach laughing.

"The snitch is my bitch?" Hermione asked reading Harry's shirt. Ron had fallen to the ground, turning blue in the face.

"Why is that so funny?" Harry asked, anger flushing his cheeks.

Ron managed to strangle out, "It stops at your midriff!" Between hysterical fits of laughter.

Hermione tried her best to ignore Ron's laughing and asked Harry, "Have you noticed all the Hogwarts people running around?" Hermione also tried her best to ignore Harry's nice little ensemble.

There was already the midriff "Snitch Is My Bitch" shirt, topped off with the black leather pants and the huge steel toe black boots, but the eyeliner and earrings? This wasn't Harry at all.

"No, can't say that I have." Harry immediately stuck his hands in his pockets, looking around uncomfortably.

"Is there something the matter?" Hermione eyed his pockets suspiciously.

After finally being able to contain his laughter, Ron stood up and poked Harry in the belly button.

"It's quite cute," he said about Harry's outfit. Hermione turned to him, looking annoyed.

Harry smiled. "Thanks mate, I think I look rather handsome, don't I? Hermione, I hate to leave on such a short notice, but I'm here with someone."

"Who are you here with?" Ron asked.

Harry blushed, looking around.

"Oh come on, Harry! You can tell me, I'm your best mate! Tell you what, you can whisper it in my ear!"

"Ron!" Hermione yelled defiantly. "I'm Harry's best mate as well!"

Before any of them could argue about who Harry's closest friend was, a whip was cracked causing all of three of them to jump.

Hermione quickly covered her hand to her mouth to stifle a scream.

Ron looked at Hermione and turned wondering what it was that made her scream. (Almost anyway) His mouth dropped to his chest and he fell back, passed out actually.

Harry shrugged, "I told you I was really busy," Harry said as he headed over to the whip smacking, leather clad Severus Snape. He pulled his hands out in a plea to Snape, revealing handcuffs on both hands.

"Who'd have thought it, honestly?" Hermione said, completely devoid of thoughts at the moment.

After much difficulty, Hermione managed to revive Ron from his shock.

"We're checking out," Ron said, still a sickly shade of green. "We're checking out now."

Hermione would usually argue that occurrences such as these shouldn't ruin their nice weekend, but after her recent encounter with Harry and Snape, leaving the hotel sounded like a good idea.

"The things people do on their weekends," Ron said as they headed to the stairs.

When they finally reached the hotel lobby, Hermione had changed her mind about leaving. Ron would just be wasting his money if they left now. They may as well stick this out and pretend none of this had happened.

It's not really that easy to forget things like this though.

"Harry's got a lot of explaining to do," Ron said angrily. "We're his best friends, surely he would tell us if he were snogging Snape." Ron made sour face at the mental picture of that.

"Did you see the look on his face when we found out?" Hermione said, worried. "We didn't react too positive, did we?"

The conversation ended when they reached the lobby desk and Hermione retrieved a key for the lost one. She ended up paying for the lost key, still not believing that she would lose it in the first place.

Ron asked the lobbyist if he had seen any strange things happening around the hotel and the lobbyist replied that he didn't know what Ron was on about. Before a row could start, Hermione had managed to get Ron away from the lobby.

They made their way back to the stairs when Hermione was dumped with ice water also.

"Okay, that's it!" With that, Hermione took off after Peeves, scowling under her breath.